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[ashthemadwriter-archived]

"Damn! This guy's literally the most handsome man alive!"

Your loud gasp and snarky comment catches MIDORIYA's attention, causing him to look at you with curious eyes. Of course his love toward you makes him feel a little irritated, he's never thought of himself as someone with amazing looks and you fonding over other men isn't really helping; but now that you've caught him starring, he's got no other choice but to show interest in the matter.

"Who? Let me see"

When you smile and ask him to come have a look, he's both reluctant and eager to see this "most handsome guy of all time"; so he gets very confused as he sits next to you and looks at the screen, only to see himself starring back at him in the camera.

"Huh? That's not the-"

Then he's met with your cheeky grin.

"Oh...!"

"And he's mine"

Even god can't stop the blush spreading over his cheeks and his big smile.

"Babe stop!"

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Ash's 3K follower event!!

Welcome to Ash's 3K celebration ball! Choose a rose, a room, a date and a dessert from the menu💜

You walk into the ball, wearing a long, violet princess dress that makes your eyes stand out, capturing the beauty of your whole being. The roof is decorated with shiny stars, with glitters scattered over them. But there's something else that catches your attention, an inscription written in golder letters.

"There are ten roses hidden in this hall. Whoever finds one shall have her fantasy with her dream guy come true"

Only ten roses? You better hurry up.

After going through so much pain, you finally find a rose. It's color is [enter your chosen color].

Pink: Fluff

Violet: Smut

Orange: Crack/Humor

Green: Angst

Blue: Hurt/Comfort

Red: Dark Content

Suddenly, six rooms appear before you. They all have their title written in gold, on a violet colored door. Your eyes wander around, but your gaze falls on one of them; the one that you know you can find the right guy inside. As you gently twist the doornob open, you take a second look at the room title, [enter your chosen title].

"Bungou Stray Dogs"

"Jujutsu Kaisen"

"Blue Lock"

"Haikyuu!!"

"Attack On Titan"

"Demon Slayer"

It takes a while for your eyes to get used to the blinding lights. The room is filled with so many handsome men that for a second you forget who you're looking for, but you slightly shake your head to come back to your senses, then take a look at the guest list displayed on the wall to make sure that he's here, when suddenly a voice cooing from behind catches you off guard.

"Can I help you?"

It's him. He's here.

You're a little nervous when you turn around to face him, but when you do, you get so stunned that suddenly everything, even the ability to utter words faint from your mind. That gorgeous face and that hot body... looks breathtaking in that suit. You try so hard not to reach out and trace over his sharp jawline.

"Actually, you can. This is for you" You smile as you hand him the rose, which he takes after a brief second of hesitance. "Would you accompany me for the rest of the evening?"

He looks a little surprised by your action. No one's ever given him a rose that would make him feel... special, but you...? You've just met but he feels like he's known you for a life time.

"Sure, I'd love to"

Your face brightens by his approval, so you take his hand, pulling him toward the desert table. "Let's eat something first"

There are many sweets on the table and they all look delicious, but you can only take one. He looks around before staring at you questioningly.

"So, what do you wanna eat?"

You smile because you've already chosen your desert, pointing at the [insert your chosen desert].

Mousse cake: Vampire!AU

Tiramisu: High school!AU

Cheese cake: Royal!AU

Soufflé: Modern!AU

Milkshake: Domestic!AU

Blueberry pie: Their original!AU

Chocolate cake: Yandere!AU

"Let's have this"

10/10 Roses have been found.

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Baby Boy Darling!

—Your boyfriend turning into a little baby? What are you going to do with him?

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings: Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor, Nikolai, Ranpo, Jouno X Fem! Reader

Genre: Fluff, Humor

Format: Drabble

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.8K

A/n: Mildly rushed but acceptable ig!

↳Osamu Dazai

"You know... I don't think this is a good choice for a bedtime story"

The little infant in your arms looked at you curiously. He wasn't old enough to make any sounds other than crying, but the martyred expression he was wearing and his firm grip on your thumb displayed his intention with no complicacy. Nevertheless, that didn't stop you from putting the suicide manual on the nightstand.

"Now now, don't look at me like that. I'm a good babysitter, and a good babysitter doesn't teach babies ways to kill themselves"

You gently caressed his puffy cheeks. "I'm also a generous babysitter, which is why I don't slap your hand away when you grab my boobs"

His gaze fell on his small chubby hand that was trying to get a hold of your breast. It was a good thing you had a T-shirt on, or with the way he was trying to cup them they would've been bleeding by now.

"I'm sorry honey, I don't think you can hold them anymore. Your hands are just too tiny!"

He whined and pouted in response.

"I know! I'm sad too. C'mon, smile a little for me will you? Smile for your mommy"

If he was still an adult, he would have rolled his eyes and smiled, but he wasn't. He was just a cranky baby who was probably planning your murder in his cute little head.

"Get it? Mommy? I'm your mommy! God you didn't have a sense of humor when you were a child did you? I miss my kind, loving boyfriend"

He looked at you unfazedly.

"Alright, how about I sing you a song? Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you aaaaaaaa— ah!?"

Dazed, you looked down at your baby boyfriend with widened eyes, only to find him staring back at you while his mouth was on your right breast. He was trying to suck on it, but that wasn't easy when it was covered with two layers of clothes, your bra and your T-shirt. Your eyebrows jumped in surprise.

"Wow, you still like the right one better?"

↳Fyodor Dostoyevsky

"So this is the power imbalance they were talking about huh?"

The violet eyed infant stares at you blankly, having a "it won't be this way for long" look in his eyes. You're holding him in front of you while sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing the cheekiest grin you could ever wear.

"No wonder you were so crazy about it. Having somebody wrapped around your finger... feels awesome!"

Still the same bored look.

"giving me the cold shoulder now? I'm just using simple logic to prove my point-which is also what you used to do. I'm saying that from this moment, you're totally and completely dependant on me"

Fyodor tilts his head to the side and gives you a weird look, tempting you to imitate his gesture. A strong feeling is causing you to brag about the current situation and tease him, and you're willingly giving into it.

"Alright. Since I'm the one in charge now, I'm setting a few ground rules. No more acting all workaholicly and staying up until late. No more skipping meals, mister. Im gonna feed you with my special milk, hehehe~ Also, I've got some confessions to make"

It's probably a bad decision to bring these up right now, but you're too captured in the heat of the moment to realize that.

"Ok. I've been trying to tell you this for quite a while. The truth is... I'm pregnant"

The unfazed look is still on.

"Yeah, that was a lie. The real truth is... I was the one who ate all your snacks"

Still no change in his expression.

"...But I assume you already know that. Ugh, keeping secrets from you is such a pain... could you not figure me out for just once?"

Fyodor doesn't seem very eager to respond. He's already very annoyed with how things have turned out and is not really in the mood to joke around. You come to that conclusion when he touches your forearm with his chubby little hand.

"You're gonna activate your ability and kill me, aren't you?"

↳Nikolai Gogol

"Quiz time!!"

Your baby boyfriend whines in annoyance.

"Who's gonna get paid one in his own coin and suffer like I did every time he teased me?"

You flash him a cocky smirk, matched with the way you're looking at him from above as he's lying on the bed. You're standing next to the bed, happier than you could ever be, planning all the steps of your revenge as you trash talk to him.

"That's right. It's no one but youuuuu! Hahahahaha!!"

Nikolai wants to prove to you that he's still strong and nobody can defeat him, but he realizes there's noway he can imply that other by a sulky attitude, which he reluctantly suffices to.

You hold his favorite snack in front of him and shake it, smiling wildly. "Come on darling! Have some! Eh? What are you waiting for? Awwwww! You can't? Then I'll help myself!"

You shoved the entire thing in your mouth and laughed hysterically.

"Nom nom* tastes nom* heavenly! No wonder you never let me have a bite!"

Nikolai is starting to feel a little guilty now. He didn't know that his teasings have made you a spiteful whore.

"You hate babies so much, and now you are one! That's the scariest punishment itself! Can you feel the power of karma? It's a bitch, ain't it? Well, now that you can't talk anymore, I have something to say to you!"

You bend over until there's a small gap between you, pointing at his tiny figure. The bullying attitude is all gone and instead, there's soft glare lying in your eyes.

"I want one of these. Give me one when you get back, Kolya"

You're wrong. This is the scariest punishment.

↳Saigiku Jouno

"Thank you for the meal!"

Jouno is upset. There are many unfortunate things happening for him at the moment. He doesn't like to be a baby. He doesn't want to be unable to do anything other than crying, pooping, eating and sleeping. More importantly, he doesn't want to feel your teeth on his cheeks.

"Mhm, so soft and squishy!" You smile sweetly and look at his puffy cheeks, stained with your bite marks in crimson. "I could just eat you up now, 'giku. You tatse so sweet!"

Anyone who hears this would be happy and blush slightly, but Jouno wasn't one of them, as he tilts his head and looks away, having the most adorable pout on his lips.

Grumpy as always.

"C'mon now, it's not that bad! Look on the bright side! Everyone will have to do everything for you since you can't do it yourself"

Jouno tilts his head back, his eyebrows jumped in surprise.

"Right, that wasn't a really good example of the bright side"

Sighing, you lay next to him on the matress, hands traveling through his white locks. His muscles relax a little bit as he gives into your warmth, nuzzling his head in your chest. You hum with a soft beam, inhaling his baby scent.

"You smell very nicely too, 'giku. Don't be too depressed about this. It's not the end of the world. We'll find a way to turn you back eventually. Plus..."

You lightly pat his back, pressing a lingering kiss on his forehead. "I can have you all to myself, since you can't go on any missions and leave me here all alone anymore"

Yeah, Jouno thinks, maybe it's not that awful after all.

↳Ranpo Adogawa

"Ouch! Why you- let go of my hair you aggressive baby!"

Ranpo cries a whine out and pulls your hair harder, leading you to scream back even louder.

"Stop it! What is wrong with you? I dont care how upset you are, I'm not gonna give you any sweets- ow ow ow!! Ranpo- I said let go of my fucking hair you dumbass!"

Your angry shout startles the dark haired baby. It's not just that he's little, you'd never talked like this to him before. Slowly loosening his grip on your hair, he starts sobbing quietly, covering his face with his chubby hands. This breaks your heart.

"Nooo... I'm sorry sweetie! Mommy- Aunty- god I dont even know what I am to you anymore! Whatever- I'm sorry ok? But you can't eat sweets baby boy, you're smart enough to know that, right?"

Smart enough to know that?? Huh!

Ranpo sees right through your little plan. He knows all these little tricks inside out- hell he was the one who taught you all of them; but what pisses him off is how it's working on him even though he knows your true intention.

The smirk you've been holding back shamelessly appears on your face when he wears a serious expression, nodding like someone who's given an important task and is determined to do it carefully and correctly, then points at your boobs.

Your smile instantly fades away.

"Shit. I'm not doing that"

↳Chuuya Nakahara

"Your struggle is hilarious to me"

Baby Chuuya watched you with a threatening glare. He was clearly unhappy about this situation, and you enjoying his frustration was not going to help him at all.

"I know you really need it right now, but honestly, I don't think your little tummy can digest that"

Merely ignoring you, he tried to open the bottle of wine he was struggling to hold with his chubby feet; but every time he pulled, the bottle would slip out of his not so tight grasp. He couldn't use his ability on it, since the bottle would sink into his little body. He couldn't even roll over on the bed, and his so called nanny was laughing instead of helping him.

Forget about all the things he'd been through. This was the true misery.

"Alright. Give me the bottle"

He didn't seem to agree, because he immediately hugged the bottle with all the strength he had, like it was his dearest thing. Your serious expression showed that you weren't going to give up either.

"You give me that bottle mister or you won't get extra milk tonight"

Reluctantly, he opened his arms and you snatched the bottle, putting it somewhere high. When you turned around, you saw him sulking.

"Don't be like that baby, you know you can't drink that right now. I thought you were a reasonable person hmm?"

The cute pout resting on his lips made you giggle and bend down to kiss his cheek. He was still pretty upset, so he looked away from you. Unfortunately, he couldn't do anything about the little blush on his face.

You carefully held him up and looked at his tiny figure. His long hair was gone and instead, there were short ginger locks on his head. His bluebell eyes however, hadn't changed one bit, still as gorgeous as ever.

You smiled at him. "You want me to throw you up?"

He looked oblivious. He probably knew what you were talking about, but hadn't figured out whether you were serious or not.

Shaking your head to the side, you tightened your grip on his waist before throwing him up in the air, and catching him before he fell on the ground. He got so excited that he started laughing, letting out adorable baby noises.

"Aww, you like that huh? want me to do it again?"

He blinked.

"Ok! Three, two, one! Whoa!"

Chuuya had jumped higher than this before, but not once did he feel the thrill he was experiencing now. He was having the time of his life, flying in the air with no effort. Every time you threw him up, his mouth got opened wider, wider, and wider,

until vomit came out of it, landing on your chest.

There weren't any throwing and catching after that, since you were too busy looking at the vomit, shocked. But it wasn't him vomiting that caught you off guard, it was the vomit. It wasn't milk, it was wine.

"Ok, we need to talk about your drinking problem when you turn back to an adult"

All rights reserved © 2023 AshTheMadWriter. Please do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works on any platform.

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[ashthemadwriter-archived]

TW: Irrational jealousy

"Here. You left this at my apartment"

Stealing your gaze from the book, you look at your boyfriend who's holding a wine red lacy bra in his hands, stretching it toward you. Unlike his usual attitude, GOJO doesn't look much lively at the moment. In fact, he looks somewhat... meticulous, like he's operating a very dangerous experience and is about to witness the outcome of his efforts.

Having your eyebrows knotted together, you wordlessly take the bra in your hands, the base of your fingers gently but painfully rubbing against the soft fabric. Gojo tries his best not to let his smirk break out when you give him a quizzical look and squeeze the lingerie in your hands.

"This isn't mine"

There it is. Victory. The awaitened result of his brilliant plan to give you a taste of your medicine.

Gojo cups his mouth while expanding his fingers to give you a better look of his fake gasp through the gap between them, humming abruptly. He carefully takes a second look at the bra, then begins to mutter in a not so low voice.

"Ah— well, this is awkward" He looks at your bewildered expression from the corner of his eye and continues. "I didn't want you to find out. Not this way"

The logic behind this clever act was easy to understand. You chose to spend your day offs with your stupid, lame old friend from college instead of your incredible, handsome, mind blowingly gorgeous boyfriend, and this is your punishment. Your reasoning was too dumb and made up. Huh, how could you even look him in the eye and say you're doing this because he's just gotten back from Austria and needs you to show him around town and introduce him to your colleagues? You should've just shoved a dagger in his aching heart and told him that you dont love him anymore. So yes, you deserve this; and as they all say, revenge is a dish best served cold.

"But you see, I'm not the only one to blame in this. You are too. You were the one who left me in the dark hanging to go on a romantic getaway with that good for nothing punk"

"Satoru—"

"Let me finish. I know that it was just for three days and you did nothing but work together, but I'm a man y/n! A proud, strong grown man who has his own needs"

"Satoru—"

"I'm not an animal y/n, but how do you expect me to close my eyes and pretend like nothing's wrong? Because it is, and since I'm also an honest man, I couldn't bare with the feeling of getting abandoned by my own woman. You and I were supposed to rule the world, but you never wanted what we were—"

"Satoru!!"

Gojo grits his teeth and looks at you with slight irritation, wondering what's so important that has to interrupt his dramatic show; but his liveliness and acting power vanishes in a glance when his eyes land on the part of the bra you're pointing at while holding it up.

"There's a price tag on this"

Oh.

The small, round label is linked to the inside of the bra, which is probably why Gojo had forgotten to remove it. Yes, it was totally that; not because he was too focused on his dialogues that he forgot to even check the bra out.

Gojo stares at your jumped up eyebrows and annoyed expression, flashing you one of his most charming smiles; Only this time he can't make it as shameless as it usually is.

"Eh, I guess this shows how much I actually love you and care about you"

"You bought this two sizes bigger than mine you asshole"

"My bad, I kinda got carried away"

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Thought of this while eating the potato chips my dad had bought for himself😋

"This is what you're buying?"

Your boyfriend hands a chocolate ice cream and other snacks to the cashier, and nods.

"But you said it was an emergency and you really needed to buy some important stuff"

"I still mean it. Snacks can count as emergency too, on some occasions"

You watch him hand the cashier his credit card and raise a brow at his words. "But I have all the same stuff at home—"

The look in his eyes finally clears everything up.

"Oh my god you ate them all again you little shit, didn't you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, pretty" He flashes you a somewhat dumbfounded look and shrugs his shoulder.

"I'm gonna take a look at the cabinet when we get home. If I don't find my snacks you're dead meat"

"Just remember that food can be replaced easily, but a kind and loving boyfriend is very hard to find these days"

You give him a threatening glare. "I'll come to this very shop and pick out ten different brands"

"You wound me so deeply sometimes, sweetheart"

DAZAI, RANPO (He'll make you pay for them tho, actually Dazai might do that too), Nikolai, Kaji, TECCHO, Tachihara, GOJO, Geto, BACHIRA, Rin, REO, Chigiri, NAGI, Tsukishima, NISHINOYA, Daichi, SUGAWARA, KUROO, Lev, BOKUTO, TENDOU, Osamu, ATSUMU, SUNA, OIKAWA, Vanitas, ROLAND, LIGHT, Mello, L

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Blue Lock Masterlist!

Hi! Welcome to my masterlist!

This post will constantly get updated,so make sure to visit it from time to time if you dont wanna miss my work!

Do not reblog this post please because of the same reason.

Please keep in mind that most of my work contains NSFW content, so pay attention to the warnings before reading the text.

Return to main masterlist | My writing list | Rules

◆Seishiro Nagi

⇝Two peas in a pod

◆Various Characters

⇝Eating your snacks | Nagi & Rin & Bachira & Chigiri & Reo

To be added...

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Two Peas In A Pod

—A blessing... or a calamity in disguise?

Fandom: Blue Lock

Pairing: Nagi X Fem!Reader

Genre: Crack, Humor, Horror

Format: Short fic

Warnings: Breast feeding, Jealousy, Probably ooc!Nagi

Word Count: 1.5K

A/n: Idk I just thought this would fit him lol. Might remind you of boss baby.

There are moments in life which can never be forgotten. Long awaited moments that leave a sweet velvety taste in your mouth and get engraved on your memory,

Moments like this.

Nagi is in hospital, standing next to the delivery room with his infant in his arms. He's wearing the most genuine smile he could ever wear, staring at his baby boy's angelic face. The baby has the tiniest hands ever that would get lost in his if he were to hold them, and the cutest chubby feet ever. He could just eat them right away.

"Wow Nagi, he looks just like you!" Reo says, smiling at the sight while snapping a picture. "You two are like two peas in the pod, except that his hair isn't long enough to be as messy as yours"

"I know. I did hope he'd take after y/n, but he's still cute"

Your husband looks so grown up like this with a baby in his hands. That's what makes Reo to snap another picture, this time in full frame of both Nagi and the baby. His smile is as soft as when he watched him saying his vow to you, and he can't help but to feel happy for his best friend.

"I'm gonna go get a cup of coffee and call Isagi and others. They've been waiting for the news"

"Ok"

Nagi's gaze doesn't leave the baby's face to follow Reo's footsteps walking away. He persistently stares at the baby's closed eyelids, wondering if they're hazel colored like his, or have the color of your eyes. Maybe it's a mixture of both, he thinks, if it's possible. He doesn't have to wait for long to find out though, because suddenly, the baby's eyelids start shuddering and in less than a second, they're wide open, displaying the warm chocolate brown color of his eye balls.

Every inch of his figure resembles his father. Even the look in his eyes is curious, just like Nagi's is right now.

"Welcome home, little thing. We're gonna have so much fun together, me and you"

…

"I don't think that's gonna happen"

Nagi doesn't know whether he should believe his ears, or his eyes. A talking baby? That's a miracle! Babies don't start talking until they're two years old, but this one in his arms was definitely the one talking a little while before, since his intense stare is piercing through Nagi's heart.

I must have very strong genes.

"What do you mean, that's not gonna happen?"

"Oh sorry, I guess I wasn't being clear on the matter" The baby speaks in a semi-grown up voice. "I meant that, you won't be having much fun from now on"

"How come?"

The baby's innocent expression is all gone. Now there's a straight yet devilish look on his face which Nagi doesn't find charming. "I thought you would already figure out that much, but I guess I was wrong. Heh...what a pain"

"Stop giving me that shit and tell me already"

"You don't care much for sharing; do you, my dear father?"

Oh.

Nagi doesn't like where this is going. He feels an unwelcoming sense of threat in his heart.

"So what? Are you saying you're gonna steal y/n from me?"

"No..."

The grin on the baby's face isn't casual. All of a sudden, Nagi doesn't find a single thing resembling him. The baby looks more like... Light Yagami from death note, the blond version.

"...I'm saying that I already have"

This can't be happening.

"Tough luck. You'll never be able to split us off. Y/n's love for me is boundless. I'm her one and only"

"You were her one and only" His gums are visible through his demonic smirk. "Now that I'm here, you won't get a quarter of the attention you used to receive. From now on, I'll be the one who sleeps in her arms at— well all the time. She'll always be near me, looking after me since I'm just a fragile little thing. The time she used to spend alone with you is gonna be limited to less than ten minutes, and your share of affection will also be mine. Even if you two do get the time to be alone with each other, she'll be too exhausted to even look at your face. She wouldn't miss it, since she gets to be with me all the time"

The world comes crashing down on the white haired man. Through his storming mind, he can see himself curled up under the strangely ice cold blanket while staring at you frustratingly, asking you to get in the bed with him already. But standing on the other side of the room, it feels like you're a thousand miles away, voice barely making its way to his hear yet so destructively striking him, saying you have to put the baby to sleep first. Even after doing that, you're so tired that you pass out on the bed before Nagi can even lay a finger on you.

"Not only that, I'm gonna take away all the other things you enjoy as well"

Another illusion appears before his eyes, only this time he's sitting on the couch, and you're standing in front of him, wearing a somewhat annoyed expression.

"I'm sorry Sei, but we can't afford to buy more video games anymore. We have to start saving up for Light's college"

No.... that can't be real. He can't give up on his video games for a serial killer's his child's future. That's absurd. You're not expecting him to do that, are you? You know how video games are important to him.

"Just you wait my stupid father, I will take everything you cherish in your life, and it starts from this very moment, with your most loved one"

His most... loved one?

Just as he's about to ask the little demon about his intention, the door to the room opens and a nurse comes out. "Alright! It's the baby's lunch time"

No. Not that.

"His lunch time? You mean, y/n's gonna feed her...?"

Nagi's voice is shivery, like he didn't know about how the babies drink milk. The nurse is a little taken aback by that, but still keeps her smile on.

"Yes sir, he needs to be fed right now, so if I may..." She reaches out to take the baby from his embrace, but fails when Nagi steps back.

"You... can't do that. I mean, this baby looks like he should drink formula milk instead of breast milk. It'll be better for him"

"The hell are you talking about, Nagi? Let the nurse take him to y/n" Reo suddenly appears next to him, giving him a questioning look.

"No— You don't understand— I—"

"What's up with you man? Here, ma'am; take the little thing to his mommy"

Nagi feels all the misery existing in the world raining on him as he watches the nurse take the infant to you. Reo looks away when you pull up your hospital gown to reveal the enchanting sight of your breast that are bigger than usual and are full of milk, all ready to be devoured in the baby devil's throat. This is it. The beginning of his torment, the sight of his most comforting treasure being possessed by another person, shattering his heart into a zillion pieces.

"No..."

The baby squeezes your right nipple with his hand, letting out a small whine.

"Stop it... No..."

You softly caress his cheek and baby talk him to enjoy his meal.

Why can't all of you people see his devilish smirk?

"No..."

The baby looks at him from the corner of his eyes. He's taking his most special thing, his stress balls, his warm pillows he snuggles his face into at nights, his soft squishies he plays with whenever he's bored, his delicious jello balls he sucks on to help him go to sleep...

"No... No... No..."

You hold your left boob and snuggle him closer to help him drink, and he helps himself out, by brutally taking it into his mouth.

It happens.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Then Nagi wakes up from his sleep.

Through his blurry vision, he recognizes his room in the middle of the night, and of course, your kind hand on his shoulder.

"Sei? Are you ok sweetheart?"

Nagi keeps panting. He hurriedly looks around the room to see any sign of the baby, but thankfully, he finds nothing. He can't ignore the cute bump of your belly under your oversized T-shirt though.

"Y/n?"

"Yeah?"

"If the baby looks like me we'll give it away"

"Excuse me??!"

All rights reserved © 2023 AshTheMadWriter. Please do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works on any platform.

Want to be added to my tag list?

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

TW: Ass spanking, Dazai harassment, reposted since I accidentally deleted the original post😭

"I'm not exactly sure if I wanna have this conversation with you"

Standing in front of the desk, DAZAI chuckled as he leaned over to have a bigger influence on his coworker. Mischief was sparkling in his hazel eyes, and the smile he had on was known to be a symbol of his goofiness.

"You see Kunikida, I'm just sad for all the things you're missing out on"

Kunikida didn't even raise his head to look at him. He merely kept typing his —actually Dazai's— report while postponing beating the shit out of him, partly for the report and partly for the sake of their current conversation. Regardless of his lack of interest, Dazai joyfully continued rambling in his ear about women.

"If there's one thing I find tolerable in this dull, unamusing world, it's definitely the ladies. Ah, when my eyes fall on their enchanting faces and they smile at me, the pleasure is like sucking the soul out of my restless frame"

"...That doesn't sound healthy or charming at all, Dazai"

"You don't get it!" The brunet dramatically shook his head to the side. "I guess you never will, until you fall in the grasp of their delicate arms, and taste their sweet chap stick"

"If you don't shut up I will smack you with this laptop"

"Ah the second your lips lock, she softly hums and loses herself into you, hands travelling on your neck to your earlobe, And you only sigh and softly bite her bottom lip. And then my favorite part, which is when you gently lower your hands on his waist and squeeze her—"

Slap!

Suddenly, silence was the loudest thing in the room instead of his partner's voice, and this uncalled for event made Kunikida look up to see what caused this enjoyable occurrence, only to be met with Dazai's dumbfounded expression and widened eyes pointing at you, who was standing behind him, holding your hand with an irritated face.

"Ouch! That hurt! Your thin ass is just bones ain't it?"

Dazai was still lost for words, speechlessly looking back at you. You on the other hand, simply rolled your eyes and walked away. "Huh! I guess you really are just an asshole. You bony ass better not have broken my fucking hand"

Nobody spoke for a minute. The man put an arm on his ass and tried to figure out what the hell had just happened, when he heard the blonde's teasing voice.

"I think you should start saving for a butt implant"

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

TW: Smoking, Slightly suggestive, Cussing

"Ever seen one of those movies where the guy blows smoke into the girl's mouth?"

CHUUYA tightened his grasp around your waist, sighing comfortably. The cigarette between his lips was halfway till finished, held by his thumb and his index finger. His deep azure eyes moved to the corner of his eye sockets, a side glance of them enough to give you chills.

"Where are you going with this, doll?"

"I'm just thinking..." You clung onto his arm more, taking a deep breath once your face nuzzled against his head, semi-drunken by the addictive smell of his hair. "It looks very hot when they do it, so maybe we could give it a shot? You already have a cigarette in your hand"

The sudden jump of his eyebrows reflected his amazement, but Chuuya was never one to turn down a fun idea, especially when it was you proposing it. So after flashing you a smirk, he drew his face closer, thumb gently rubbing your hip.

"You think so?"

A small nod was all you managed to do as your mind was mostly concerned with his touch and the way his hand was carelessly wandering on your back. Clearly, he wasn't yet satisfied with his impact, so he put the cigarette between his lips, not breaking eye contact. The end of the stick lit up and its length got sucked into the ginger's mouth, not making a sound. And when Chuuya stared at your lips, you opened your mouth, impatiently eager to make small contact with his lips; instead, a brutal huff of smoke broke into your throat.

You coughed. Not a light one to clear your throat or get rid of a slight discomfort; they were multiple, painful coughs of a man desperately fighting to not lose his grip on life. This was not like the movies at all! Well, if the movies weren't about manipulative ways to get young women cancer.

"What... What the hell was that?!"

Chuuya didn't appear to be as shocked, or even concerned. He seemed like he was watching a magic show, except that he knew all the trickes behind them.

All the tricks... behind them?

"You knew this was gonna happen, didn't you?"

That was the first time you found his juvenile grin, annoying.

"You fucking dick"

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

What if I...

—You make a tempting, unexpected offer; how are they going to react?

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings: Dazai, Chuuya, Nikolai, Fyodor, Sigma, Jouno X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Suggestive content, mentions of giving blowjobs (whether it'll happen or not is up to you lol), unstablished relationship (you're just friends, but are you..?), rushed writing

Genre: Humor

Format: Drabble

Word Count: 1.6K

↳Osamu Dazai"

Listen y/n..." Dazai cooes at you. "I'm a little bit busy with... uh, work; so I don't think I'll be able to accompany you on this mission"

Shaking your head to the side with frustration, you bend a little on the desk, gazing into his Hazel eyes to show your desperation "Oh c'mon Dazai! You're not seriously gonna make me go to this tiresome mission by myself?! They're all politicians! It's gonna be boring as hell!"

The pile of paperwork on his desk are making you question your eyesight, but you know Dazai better than that. He probably saw it coming so he placed them there on purpose to prove his point.

...Not that it could exactly be called a "point".

"Listen..." Your voice is so low that only Dazai can hear it. "There must be some way for me to change your mind"

His expression doesn't change one bit, still looking through the documents for nothing, pretending to be occupied. "Sorry to burst your bubbles, but I really can't—"

"What if I suck your dick?"

Eyes shooting you a shocked gaze and hands staying still, it seems like he's completely lost interest in the paperwork. He's looking through your soul and the moment his lips start moving, you know you've won the battle.

"For... for real?" "Yes, for real"

The surprised face is all gone and instead, there's a totally new face now; a smug face of a man who's gonna team up with you for the mission and get a little prize in the end.

"So when do we leave?"

↳Chuuya Nakahara

"Listen Chuuya, with great looks comes great responsibility. There's a reason why you're this hot!"

The red-haired man looked away as an attempt to hide his flustered face, his voice still gravely. "Stop it y/n. I'm not gonna be your model for the photoshoot"

"Why not? You're the perfect choice!" "The answer's no! Get over it"

"Hmph! You're no fun" You crossed your arms and pouted as you leaned to the chair. You couldn't make heads or tails of it. Why was he so against being your model? You were just gonna take a few photos of him wearing casual clothes and maybe some light makeup. It was for your photography class and you were supposed to take a pic of somebody under the rays of sunset. With Chuuya's red hair and blue eyes, it would be a breath taking pic. He just looked so pretty under the sun.

As Chuuya took the bottle to sip from it, you found yourself desperate enough to give it one last shot.

"What if I suck your dick as a payment?"

And then the explosion happened. Chuuya's hand snapped, the bottle fell on the floor and drops of wine literally squirted out of his mouth. He was coughing so strongly that you rushed over and started hitting him in the back like he was some kind of ketchup bottle. His face was crimson red, but whether it was from choking or embarrassment, you couldn't really tell.

When he finally came down and caught his breath, he placed his hand on his chest and looked at you with eyes the same size as a baseball, meanwhile you looked at him miserably with the word "sorry" written all over your face.

"So... is that a yes?" "NO!"

Well, at least you nearly killed him.

↳Jouno Saigiku

"Ok I don't know why you're refusing. I'm just giving you the opportunity to make up for your mean attitude by doing something nice! You know, to go to heaven, like me and other nice people, Teccho for example"

Jouno was still expressionless. He merely sipped his cup of coffee and placed his hat on the table. "I appreciate the offer, but after a lifetime we definitely need a break from each other"

"Ugh you jerk! C'mon it's a piece of cake for you! You've arrested plenty of people before! You're smart, you're strong and I came to you for help which shows that I'm really desperate!"

Your relationship with Jouno was... questionable. He teased you, had a tendency to piss you off all the time, but somehow you were friends. The weirdest type of friendship that had ever existed, probably.

"I can see that. See I do wanna help you out, but I just love seeing the new you"

Shaking your head to the side, you leaned back to the couch. A hard case was given to you and you really didn't want to blow it up, but you needed help, and everyone else were busy. Except for your horrible friend here.

"Jouno, Jouno, Please..." You took his left, gloved hand. "I need you! I'll do anything in return! I'll team up with you and insult Teccho for a whole year! I'll write every one of your reports! I'll even suck your d—"

Jouno didn't hear your voice anymore. In fact, the only thing heard in the room was pure silence, and of course your heartbeat.

You were shocked.

He got his hand out of your grasp, placing it next to your head. His other hand found its way to your lips, softly caressing them. Meanwhile you didn't say a word, just stared at his handsome face and swallowed your saliva.

"Hypothetically, if I help you out, how far would you go to make it up to me?"

Forget about your friendship. You weren't that close anyway.

↳Fyodor Dostoevsky

"I'm going to go to my parents' with my boyfriend tonight"

"I thought you didn't have a boyfriend, dear" Fyodor tilted his head to the side to gaze at you.

"I don't! That's where you come in!"

Nikolai exchanged a look between your nervous expression and Fyodor's smile, and pouted. "Hey! Why didn't you ask me instead?"

"Yeah yeah, if I ever wanted to give them a heart attack you'd be the first person I'll go to" You sighed and looked back at Fyodor. "So? Would you please help me out?"

Fyodor was sitting next to you on a chair. He tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. "Ah... I'm not sure about that. Wouldn't it make our relationship awkward?"

"No! No not at all!" Your voice was rushed and shaky. "You see you're the perfect choice for this"

"Hmph!"

"Shut up Nikolai. I mean, you're tall, you know how to talk to people— in a satisfying way, ah, you know what I mean, you're handsome, you have very pretty hair, you have the most beautiful violet eyes I can stare at until forever..."

His brattish smirk made you shut up and give a few embarrassed coughs. Your flushed cheeks weren't exactly helping you out at the moment.

"Eh... So you're the best in many ways... Now, would you please help me out?"

Fyodor gave Nikolai-who was also smirking- a meaningful look, and his smirk got broader. "I will think about it"

"What's there to think about? You get to have a free dinner and also have a great time! My dad has the same taste in books as you! I'll even suck your dick at the end!"

You suddenly shut up and stared at the two men with eyes the same size as a racket ball. Now there was also two pare of knitted eyebrows along with the smirks. Nikolai's winking and muttering "Yeah baby" didn't help you loosen up at all.

Fyodor leaned closer until the phrase "personal space" lost its meaning, staring at you. His pretty eyes were sparkling, making it harder to steal your gaze from them. His voice was as gentle as the sea breeze, the perfect melody to caress your ears.

"So... I'll get to date the most beautiful girl in the world, spend a whole night with her and then get something afterwards?"

You were so drowned in your thoughts that you couldn't utter a single word. This moment was magical, making you wonder if he were going to seal your lips with his, totally forgetting about Nikolai's presence.

...Until he started talking.

"Do you guys want me to leave the room? Cause there's no way I'm doing that"

↳Nikolai Gogol

"...Which is why clowns are so fragile and have strong emotions!"

You shook your head with disappointment. "Yeah yeah, get it. But that doesn't answer my question"

"What was your question anyway?"

Ugh.

"Would you please babysit my cousins with me?"

"Hahaha! I remember now!" His face brightened with joy. "Well, no"

You leaned closer to him miserably. "Oh c'mon Kolya!"

"Sorry dove, I just don't get along with children. Not a fan"

"But they're triplets Kolya! I can't handle them on my own!" At this point you were literally begging. "Pretty please?"

"Triplets? Ha! Another reason for me to say no"

Well, that was it. You were going to be alone with your naughty cousins for four hours and then hand a burned house and probably only one of the boys back to your aunt because you lost the other two.

"Unless..."

Ah! There's still some hope left.

"You offer me something in return?"

Nikolai's face was dangerously close to yours. His smile was bright, but his intention didn't seem to be. Although that didn't scare you. It only made your body numb with excitement and through your clouded mind, you somehow put two and two together and blurted something out.

"Eh... What if.. What if I suck your di— Woah Nikolai what are you doing?"

A chuckle left his mouth as if something simple had happened, but this wasn't simple. He had just lifted you up and was carrying you bridal style to your bedroom.

"You took the hint all by yourself. How about that, my naughty dove?"

"K— Kolya! Where are you taking me?"

Your red cheeks only made his smile broader. "We're gonna get your clothes changed, go to your aunt's aweful house, babysit your horrible cousins, and then get ready for a night of fun"

↳Sigma

"So... How's the best manager in the world?"

Sigma's stare was still pointed at the documents. "I'm not planning a birthday party for your friend y/n"

"What are you talking about?" You smiled cunningly, lightly caressing his arm from the other side of the desk. "Can't I just compliment my incredible friend? Who happens to be an expert in planning and managing stuff?"

When you two first met, he used to get flustered by your flattering comments, but now Sigma's eyebrows only jumped in surprise. "You... can, but it won't change my mind"

"Pretty please?" Dropping the act, you got up from your seat and stood next to him, putting both of your hands on his shoulders. "I really need your help. I don't have a clue about this and you're the only one I know"

"I'm sorry y/n, but I'm caught up with work. You know that the casino is very busy this time of year, there's nothing I can do"

You sighed and sat on the chair again, desperately thinking about a way to convince him. What would make men do women a favor...

"What if I suck you dick?"

Sigma was still staring at the documents, which made you wonder if he had heard you, but his eyes were not the same. They were widened. He slowly lifted his head and looked at you like he was about to chop off his hand and stick it down his ass, and that made you finally realize it.

"Oh I forgot that you're three years old! I mean you haven't even hit puberty yet. Oops. My bad"

Yeah, Sigma needed new friends.

All rights reserved © 2023 AshTheMadWriter. Please do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works on any platform.

Tag List:

@pussydrunkfyodor @h8kolya @exhausted-doll @rosasensibles @nekokinax @paperllama @the-foreigner @arsonklee @fayenfim @c4xcocoa @asqmi @blueberry-writer @ryokuryuu @ayladove @sinfullysophiastrange @sugarcherryemo @whossuzy @sigmazcasino @linn-a-a @uottani @ilovechuuyaa @ezraiix @aeshiiteiru @dreamcastgirl99 @bestiewhat

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[ashthemadwriter-archived]

So, I don't know where the hell this came from but I did something.

TW: NSFW content, Friends with benefits, Unstablished relationship, Vaginal penetration

Needy, needy boys.

He's always been taken for a playboy. He comes over in the middle of the night, gets what he wants and then you'll never hear of him...

...until he's in the mood again. Then he comes back with a straight face like nothing happened, everything's fine and he's not treating you like some kind of doll he only plays with whenever he feels like it. And you're stupid, so fucking stupid as your arms are always open, welcoming him into your little corner of solitude.

But after a while, something happens. His smiles are more genuine, his embrace feels warmer than before and most importantly, when you wake up in the morning he's there, already up, staring at your face with a somewhat unknown look.

Then he's gone again. His absence lasts longer than usual. You don't know if you should text him. Would you come off as clingy? This is probably a bad idea. If he wanted to hear from you he would have at least given you a ring. Are you done? Is he abandoning you for someone else? Someone prettier, with bigger eyes and a smaller waist... Doubts and insecurities fill your head, days turn Into months, hope gets lost in your sleepless nights until that night, that one night that makes you feel everything and nothing at the same time.

After receiving that one text "I'm outside", you run to the door to see if you aren't dreaming and this isn't just a figment of your imagination, and there he is, standing in front of you, looking all different. Good different or bad? You can't really tell, and you know what? You don't feel like putting much thought to it either.

He slams his lips onto yours, your clothes are taken, torn apart laying on the floor, you somehow find your way into the shower, the cold water makes you gasp and cling onto him even more. You're soaked under the water but you don't feel clean, body tainted with lust and desire.

Things are happening fast but it's not the same anymore. There's no mind games this time cause he's so needy and been dying out of starvation. Instead of his teeth sinking in your skin it's his kisses, penetrating your flesh, your blood, your soul. He's kissing your soul and you're holding him with a deathly grip, never having enough. Nobody talks. It's just meaningless sinful sounds and kisses, kisses, kisses. He's so needily passionate and it's beautiful; making you feel whole, significant. His lips trap your bottom one and suck it in. He's breathing loudly, you've been kissing for quite a while now but every time you try to part he doesn't let you. It's like he wants to die, drown in your kisses, or perhaps he finds them more addicting than oxygen.

It won't be long till you feel your release approaching and he feels it just as precisely as you, you've literally become one now and he knows your body like the back of his hand. He puts his skills into use and thrusts rapidly, taking his frustration out on your cunt and you're fine with it. He's been deeper than this before but it's never felt this intimate. All his actions are rushed and you know he's not going somewhere; he's just suddenly so needy and you adore it already.

You're shaking, he's shaking and with another thrust, you're gone. Your body is still caged in his strong arms, but your soul has fallen into the land of euphoria. Everything feels numb, the water that's now marking your skin red, the pain in your back, your chest, your heart. It's just him, him and you're in love, glad that he's in love too. You scream as he keeps thrusting through your orgasm and he moans in your mouth, loudly. It's needy, so needy, but so stunning that you can't complain.

When you come down from your high, he finally parts away. You're both panting and desperate for air but there's something miraculously. You look at each other and he's eyes are talking, it's proof that he wants, you needs you, can't get by without you. Looking at this messed up man under the cruel whips of hot water, you find yourself in love. Ah what a beautiful feeling it is, to be able to love and to feel loved. He's with you now, you won't be waiting for him anymore, he'll always be here, that's what you're thinking.

But the next morning he's gone, and this time for good; because you made him feel something,

That he doesn't deserve you.

DAZAI, Ranpo, NIKOLAI, OIKAWA, IWAIZUMI, Kuroo, SUNA, Osamu, Shinazugawa, UZUI, GOJO, Fushiguro, Geto, EREN, MELLO, Vanitas

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

♡Happy Nowruz (Iran's New year) to all the Persian people out there!♡ May this Year be full of opportunities and good news for you guys

♡عید نوروز رو به همه ی ایرانیای عزیز در تامبلر تبریک میگم، امیدوارم امسال براتون پر از فرصت ها و خبر های خوب باشه♡

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Me & my hubby!

—When you accidentally introduce your boyfriend as your husband

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings: Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor, Ranpo, Akutagawa, Jouno X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Humor

Format: Drabble

Warnings: Suggestive content in Dazai's

Word Count: 1.6K

A/n: This is very rushed so sorry if its not well written

↳Osamu Dazai

As the door of the fitting room opened, your boyfriend came into sight. The white tuxedo hugged his slim frame perfectly, making his tall figure stand out even more. The color had given him an elegant look, which nearly made you wonder if he was the playful guy you were dating.

Dazai smirked as he picked up on your stun and flashed you a cheeky smirk. "Like what you see, Bella? You're staring a little too hard you know~"

Suddenly the fitting room seemed like the perfect place to show him how much you actually liked his new look. It didn't matter if you made a mess out of the tux, since you were about to buy it anyway.

"Oh Osamu... You should wear white more often"

"Everything alright here?"

The salesclerk was checking up on you with a warm smile.

"Ah yes! We would like to buy this one. It looks gorgeous on my husband"

You didn't exactly pay attention to your words, but seeing Dazai's eyebrows jump in surprise made you question your statement, and...

Oh.

Anxiety washed over you as you weren't exactly unfamiliar with your partner's commitment issues, but much to your surprise, Dazai wasn't upset nor terrified; his huge ass grin was showing off his joy and flatter.

"I'm her husband!"

For god's sake.

The salesclerk on the other hand was looking at you oddly, probably questioning her life choices.

"Ah, ok. Well then would you mind taking the tuxedo off? I'll wrap it up for you"

A snicker left your boyfriend's lips as he pulled you close by your waist. "Sure, but I might need my wife's help to take my clothes off. Will you be kind enough to help me out, Anata?"

"Oh shut up already!"

↳Chuuya Nakahara

One of the benefits of working at the same organization was that when your boyfriend had a mission overseas, you could go with him.

You had just arrived to your hotel after a five hour flight, which made you tired as hell since you couldn't sleep on the airplane. Although that wasn't enough to lessen your excitement for going on what could be some kind of a trip after you finish the job.

"Have you made a reservation beforehand ma'am?"

"No, it was kind of rushed. Would that be a problem?"

The receptionist shook his head to the side. "Not at all. Lucky for you, we still have some rooms available"

The door of the hotel opened and Chuuya came in, approaching you with your luggage in his hand. You looked back at the receptionist. "Great! Then I'd like a room for two people. We're going to be here for a while since my husband needs to take care of some stuff from work; right, honey?"

Chuuya froze in the spot and a light shade of crimson appeared on his cheeks. This was definitely unexpected. It made him feel butterflies in his stomach in a good way and somehow questioned all the logic that made him avoid thinking about the future of your relationship.

"Well your husband doesn't seem to be sure" The receptionist commented in a humorous way. "Alright then, here's your key"

On the way to your room there was a silence that couldn't exactly be marked as "uncomfortable". Chuuya was wearing a warm smile yet so drowned in his thoughts that you refused to take him out of his zone. However, when you reached the door, he suddenly lifted you up, making you suddenly gasp and gaze at him with astonishment.

"What are you doing?"

"What a good husband is supposed to do"

The familiar beam was back on his face.

"I'm carrying my wife to our shared hotel room"

↳Ranpo Edogawa

"Ranpo! You can't eat this whole cake!"

Going to the bakery had become some sort of tradition since you and your boyfriend started dating. You went there every afternoon, tasted the new pastries, you lectured him to not get carried away and he stopped you by shoving a cookie in your mouth. That was pretty much repetitive, except that something extra was coming along today.

"I can and I will. That's why it's called sample y/n" He munched on his cheesecake, delighted by the sweet taste lingering in his mouth.

"Well Mr. detective, It's a sample so you should just take one bite and then move on! If you like it then just buy one!"

The baker chuckled and walked toward you. She knew you since you were regulars there, and she had enough respect for the president to not throw a tantrum over a few pieces of cake. "It's alright Miss y/n. Let the man eat his sweets"

"You don't understand ma'am! My husband eats way too much sweets and that's not healthy at all! What if he comes down with diabetes or something?!"

Ranpo stopped chewing for a brief second and looked at you from the corner of his eye. The lady on the other hand, was more excited than shocked. "You got married? Oh! Congratulations! It's nice to know that Mr. Ranpo has finally settled down!"

You didn't know if you should correct yourself or hide your red cheeks. "I— I meant that— " "Please have some more cake! They're on the house. Consider them a gift from me"

As she left you alone, you finally turned to your boyfriend to see his reaction, which was exactly the way you expected it to be; smug and playful. "Ah, I went into this marriage with so much hope"

"Oh grow up!"

↳Fyodor Dostoevsky

"How's your steak honey?" You asked, looking at your boyfriend with curiosity. He had been taking bites reluctantly, swallowing without actually tasting the meat.

"It's burnt to a crisp, even though I ordered it medium rare" He gently wiped his mouth with the napkin, placing the cutlery on the table. You gave the dish a once over and flagged the waiter down. After a while he approached your table. "Is there a problem, ma'am?"

"Yes. My husband ordered his steak medium rare and as you can see, this is not what he asked for"

My... Husband?

"Eh, so... He'd like his steak... Medium rare... Please?" Awkwardness was hitting you and you really didn't want to be alone with Fyodor right now, but unfortunately, you were on a date and there were no way to escape from it.

The waiter excused himself after apologizing and taking the plate back to the kitchen. He did find your sudden change of expression odd, but he didn't say anything since he wasn't asking for less tip. However, Fyodor was completely ready to bring it up. You could tell that based on his grin, but you were doing your best not to face him at that moment.

Not that it was enough to stop him.

"How's your pasta Mrs. Dostoevsky?" "Fedya! Stop!"

↳Ryuunosuke Akutagawa

Getting sick on valentine's day was not originally your plan, but at least you got to visit the doctor together. You were now waiting for the secretary to call your names.

"How long should we wait?"

Covering your mouth with a tissue, you lightly coughed. "Anytime now. All the people ahead of us went inside"

Akutagawa glanced at the door of the doctor's office and nodded. He had made a reservation at your favorite restaurant today and was planning to take you to some place nice afterwards, get on one knee and ask you to spend the rest of your life with him, but you suddenly got sick. It's not like he could be mad at you. It was not your fault, but... It seemed like the perfect opportunity. The perfect day for a memorable gesture...

"Mrs. Akutagawa! You're up"

Akutagawa.

She was referring to you, with his last name.

You had introduced yourself as Akutagawa. He was sure you did it accidentally since your face was redder than a tomato now, but still, he never thought hearing it would feel so... special.

The raven-haired man held your hand and leaded you to the doctors office, a ghost of a smile spread on his face. He might've lost the chance to propose now, but it's not the end of the world. You're stuck with him and not going anywhere, so he would try to make the perfect plan for a perfect proposal, for the perfect girl.

↳Saigiku Jouno

"Are you sure this is the store?" Your boyfriend crossed his arms.

"For the thousandth time! Yes!" "Well, you were also sure that you knew my size but it turns out you were wrong" "Ugh! Let's just get inside!"

Thanks to his job, Jouno was always on endless missions and barely had time to rest, let alone go shopping. You this T-shirt when you were walking by and you just couldn't help but to imagine your boyfriend in it. It might've cheered him up if it was his size.

The clerk recognized you the second you set foot in the store. "Oh hi ma'am! Welcome back!"

"Hi Amaya. Thank you. So, remember how I was not sure if the T-shirt was my boyfriend's size?"

She only nodded with a forced smile, because how could she forgot? You spent fifteen minutes staring at the T-shirt, wondering if it would fit him.

"Well, it wasn't" Jouno's smile got wider and you sighed. "Yeah yeah, I admit it. I don't know what size is suitable for my husband. I'm the worst partner ever. Can we please change this one and leave?"

"I don't understand ma'am"

For real? You just can't take a break.

"I'm saying that the T-shirt was too big for him!" "Yeah I got that, but I thought he was your boyfriend?" "What do you mean you— oh!"

No.

No no no no no no no no.

Jouno's smirk was still on, and now with a little smugness. He was clearly enjoying himself.

"If this is your way of proposing, it's really lame" "Oh shut up you big jerk!"

All rights reserved © 2023 AshTheMadWriter. Please do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works on any platform.

Tag List:

@pussydrunkfyodor @silverbladexyz @h8kolya @gettinshiggywithit @exhausted-doll @echo28 @rosasensibles @nekokinax @paperllama @the-foreigner @arsonklee @fayenfim @circinuus @c4xcocoa @asqmi @blueberry-writer @ryokuryuu @ayladove @sinfullysophiastrange @sugarcherryemo @whossuzy @sigmazcasino @linn-a-a @uottani @spiritis-rambles @glitch-karma @ilovechuuyaa

Want to be added to my bsd tag list?

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

OK I'm writing hate sex with Sigma in college au who wants to be tagged😋

Let me know through comments

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Love Like Cherry Blossoms

—Osamu Dazai X Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/n is a normal citizen with a normal life. Everything in her life goes as planned; work, home, eat, sleep and back to work; but things suddenly change when she switches bodies with a member of the ADA, by accident.

Genre: Fluff, Romance, Smut, Fantasy, Humor

Warnings: Mentions of female body parts, Dazai being a creep, language

Word Count: 2.4K

A/n: From now on, I will use she/her pronouns for Dazai and he/him for reader.

Series Masterlist ⇝ Part Three

"So?"

The young woman slowly tilts her head to the side, sending a relatively sharp gaze toward her boss who's sitting in front of her behind his fancy ass desk.

"So?!"

"So Why did you call me in the middle of work hours? I doubt that the reason is to stare at each other's faces!"

The manager closely examines the woman's face. Her h/c hair is perfectly curled as always, her makeup is light and heartwarming though it's not as nice as ever due to her mascara spreading under her eyes, her face is decorated with a soft smile that he is used to see every time she arrives at the café; everything looks soothing and normal.

Then, why the hell is she creeping the shit out of him ever since that bloody accident?

"Listen y/n, the reason I called you to my office was that... We got a few complains from a couple of customers"

"Oh? What does it have to do with me?"

"The complains were about you"

The man holds a small ipad in front of her, shrinking his hand when she slowly takes it to avoid any type of physical contact. Y/n however is calm, her smile extending as she reads the unpleasant remarks about herself.

NekoChan42: Have you guys seen that barista from Kiyomi coffee house? She had an accident a few weeks ago and now that she's recovered... She looks weird.

DaishouKoganeeee: Tell me about it! Yesterday I went there to order a cup of Turkish coffee, but she didn't even take my order! Said that she was busy at the moment; busy with grabbing her boobs and smirking at the sight like a fucking creep.

HelpI'm6feetunder: Well can't really blame her, I would have done the same if I had access to those boobs...

Y/n smirks as she places the device on the desk, pushing it toward the manager without making any attempt to break eye contact. It's unlikely for her to be this relaxed in a situation like this, given how frightened she used to get every time he called her to his office. She's actually one of the best workers he has ever hired; always on time, always wearing a nice smile and a nice attitude toward the customers, it's the reason why the café is so busy ever since she was hired; because nobody can resist that pretty smile and that angelic look of hers, not even the manager himself.

When she remains silent for a while, the man has to speak up in order to break the tension filling the room. "Well? Care to explain yourself?"

"I am surprised that you're scolding me for this sir" The woman's voice sounds really confident, maybe too much for someone who's caught checking out her own body in front of other people. "I mean... How you ever even touched women's breasts in your life?"

"Excuse me?" The manager looks irritated, not only because she's saying such lewd things in front of him, but because she actually has a point.

"Those soft comfy meatballs that make the most important curves of a woman's body, making all men drool over how stunning she looks in a fine black dress, showing off those flawless creations... Ah! They really are god's masterpiece."

It's odd to be both touched and petrified at that sensual little speech of hers, but it's what the manager's feeling at the moment.

A few knocks on the door earns the manager's attention. He spares a glance at y/n, granting the permissions for the interrupter to come in.

It's Asami, the cashier. "Ah, sorry for intrusion; but can you dismiss y/n? We're short-staffed today because Amane is on her day off, so we really need y/n right now"

The manager actually feels at ease. He's not sure if he wants to keep up with this conversation, so he might as well grab the opportunity to free himself from this state. "Sure, we will continue this later"

With a small bow, the woman exits the office, heading to counter while fixing her apron. Asami hurriedly shoves the coffee tray in her hand. "C'mon c'mon, take this coffee to table three. He's been waiting for almost fifteen minutes"

Table three. It's placed at the corner of the café that has dim lights, and doesn't really stand out. It's the perfect place for lovey dovey couples, and also for someone who wants to avoid attention.

As the woman approaches the table, the sight of the brunette catches her eye. She can only see his back, but only from that she can tell how uncomfortable he's due to his figure being so stiff, something that scarcely happened to her when she was... him.

She keeps smiling. The atmosphere is so drastic yet she doesn't lose any bit of her calm, placing the coffee on the table. The man looks up from the table and stares at the woman, looking shocked. It's not like he didn't expect her here— he was actually waiting for her to deliver her order; he just isn't used to seeing his own body standing in front of him.

"Well hello there, y/n" The woman flashes him a soft smile. "To what do I own the pleasure?"

The mans expression is not surprised anymore. There are fade shades of anger and threat in his eyes, and he looks like he's about to pull out a gun from his pocket and kill her right on the spot.

"We need to talk."

"There you are, you bandage wasting machine"

Bandage wasting machine. A name that he's been called ever since he woke up from coma.

Y/n does not expect to be called by his own name, but being called by a name rather than insults is not much to ask for.

Kunikida has been keeping an eye on you since the day you opened your eyes from your long, stressing sleep. He is always monitoring your actions carefully, shoving the medicine in your mouth claiming that you'll lie about taking it again, suspiciously asking you if your report was written by yourself or you made poor Atsushi to do it again, repeatedly saying you have smacked your head against a wall or something...

This Dazai person must have been a real pain in the ass, and now that she's got a hold of your body, you're not very eager to take it back; because god knows what hell of a mess is waiting for you in your own life.

You couldn't come up with any other excuse better than coming down with sudden amnesia. It was stupid and typical, but strangely, they all bought it. It wasn't even luck— you strongly doubt that luck is in anyway involved with this person, but it was weird how a couple of as sharp as a tack detectives believed your crap, since you've never been much of a skillful liar.

Not that you're exactly complaining though.

Looking to your left, your eyes set on the white-haired boy's sympathetic smile. He's been the most considerate one around, the only person that never gives you a hard time and is the only normal person around here.

Ah, normality.

You have to do many things to seem normal. You have to carry a suicide book that gives you the creeps literally everywhere with you, have to wear a roll of bandages although your skin itches underneath them and you're tired of replacing them with new one— which is something that Dazai herself probably avoided to, in the mornings, you have to annoy the poor blonde man and mess with his habit of writing down everything in his apparently pricey book; and these are not a peace of cake to you, at all.

Yet you have no choice but to play along with the rhythm.

Kunikida's voice takes you out of zone, bringing you back to reality. "I'm heading to a mission with Atsushi. Since all the other employees are off to do their own tasks and no one's here, I need to make sure that you'll be alright by yourself"

You really want to protest and give him an earful; but honestly, can you even blame him? Dazai wouldn't be alright by herself. She probably would set the whole building on fire and by the time his coworkers arrive there would be nothing but ashes left.

"...You've been acting odd lately. Decent, responsible, it's not really you. I hope it's not one of your stupid tactics before a suicide attempt"

The guy is just worried about his friend.

Although he just mentioned that your acting skill haven't been up to much, you don't hold back from smiling at your— no, his colleague. "I'm alright, Kunikida. I am thankful for your concern, but nothing's going on. I guess I'm just... ah... trying to be a better version of myself? You know... since I nearly died and now I value life..."

A pile of crap indeed. Dazai Is probably asking women to commit suicide with her at the moment. You won't be surprised if you find yourself to be known as a lesbian when you get back into your own body.

Kunikida won't buy it, you think to yourself; but the knot on his eyebrows slowly fading away prove you wrong.

"I certainly hope that's the case... Well then, we're off"

After a week, you're finally alone by yourself.

There's nothing much to do around here. You don't understand anything of their work and you try not to get involved as much as possible. It's obvious that Dazai was good at what she did since people are looking up to you to get back to work, but you aren't Dazai. You're just a barista.

You get up and stretch your arms, deciding to give the café downstairs a visit. At least there are some people there and you don't have to be alone in this dangerous place anymore. God knows what kind of ability user will barge in and take your head. You're aware of Dazai's nullifying ability and you know martial arts yourself, but none of them would be enough to stop the trespasser, or at least that's what you think.

As you take the stair to the first floor, your first time at the café comes into your mind. Kunikida told you to act decent— no, it was more like threatening you not to flirt with the waitress or he will roll up his sleeves and have the honor of beating the shit out of your ass himself.

All you know is that Dazai was a playboy, an irresponsible man who never took care of himself and made everyone else worry about him, a smarty pants who apparently had a lot of enemies after his blood, and basically, a menace to the society.

"Welcome, Mr. Dazai"

It's the waitress, standing behind the counter with a warm smile. She looks as pretty and lively as always, making you suddenly wonder if you can actually blame Dazai for setting his eyes on her. She was gorgeous.

"Is there anything you would like to eat?"

Kunikida always picked up the tab, so it actually feels weird to come here alone. You're usually the one who prepares the orders, not the other way around.

"Some tea would be nice" "I will get it right away"

The waitress heads to the kitchen after politely nodding, leaving you alone with your thoughts. How did this even happen in the beginning? How long are you going to be in this body? Is there anyway to get back? Or are you trapped here for the rest of your life? Because that would be a nightmare. The salary here is higher than it was in your previous job, but you don't know what to do here. This position isn't made for you. All you can do is just helping out regular employees to organize paperwork, but that still won't save you from being a target. Everything is risky here.

Ability users scare you. You've never been involved with one before, and now you're literally one of them. It's a huge step. Too much.

"Here's your tea sir"

The small sound caused by the cup placing on the wooden counter is delightful.

"Thank you! How much is it?"

Oh.

Dread finds its way to the woman's face as he turns back to look at you with disbelief and shock.

Great. What the fuck did I do this time?

"You... want to... pay?"

You're now as shocked as her. It can't be... so this dumbass never paid for himself?

"Eh... yes"

"Oh that's great news!" She sounds a little too happy. "I was actually going to mention the life insurance again, but it's great to see you finally deciding to pay!"

Dazai... I'm going to murder you.

You beam modestly, taking a sip from the cup.

"In that case... Will you also pay your debt anytime soon?"

The damn drink shoots out of your mouth. Of course there's a debt.

You literally want to slam your head against the wall, but something stops you. This Dazai person has a lot of shit going on. Maybe you could help her a bit by helping her to get out of the red. Thankfully, it's the beginning of the month and your credit card is not empty yet; so you reach out for your wallet, happy with this charity-like gesture as you open it to hand in the money.

"I will. How much should I pay?"

"Thank you so much for finally doing this! Well, the total of your six months debt comes to..."

Your jaw drops.

"What?"

The waitress flashes you a weird look. She was surprised when you didn't hit on her like you— Dazai usually did, and how your attitude has changed so much, but you are still intelligent, right? You must've known that your debt is huge since you didn't pay for your meals for six months.

Except that you don't have a clue about anything, and you're literally about to rage.

"How— What— When— Are you fucki— That's what I make in almost a year! Just— Bye!"

You run. You just run out of the café, humiliated. You know where you're going. Oh, you gotta inform her that she has one more enemy now. You're going strangle her. You're going to kill her! You don't even care if that would be in her favor because she'll get to die by the hands of you, a woman. Can you even be counted as a woman anymore?

Fuck this shit. I'm gonna give her a peace of my mind.

Which brings you to your current situation.

Dazai is looking at you with an annoying smirk, and you don't know if you want to punch your own face or not.

"Sit the fuck down, you fucking creep"

All rights reserved © 2023 AshTheMadWriter. Please do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works on any platform.

Tag List:

@pussydrunkfyodor @celestair @hey-comrade-hold-stil @echo28 @voyagewiththesatan @a-fanatic-fangirl-requests @xxseiraxx @dazaiwuzhere @bluerskiees @dazaisusedtampon @silverbladexyz @gslgsydyodyodoyd @otherworldly--dreamer @dazvia @cowsforkenji @ryokuryuu @thebirdsworkfortheboswazeee @winesupermacy5158 @whossuzy @iillusionsxbay @witchl0ve @circinuus @imkumichan @simplysm1le @minteraysolo @levii-s @heart-an0n @mina7777 @seoksao @hesterinias @n-akaharachuuya @originalalienchaos

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Pregnancy Dramas

—Things you faced when you were carrying their child

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings: Dazai, Chuuya, Akutagawa, Fyodor, Kunikida X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Mainly Humor

Format: Drabble

Warnings: Pregnancy, Pregnancy problems, Cravings, etc

Word Count: 1.4k

↳Osamu Dazai

If anyone had told Dazai that he would eventually settle down with someone, he would have merely laughed at them; but there he was, standing next to the infirmary bed while looking at you, his beloved wife, who was carrying his baby.

You were now three months pregnant, your belly shaped into a cute bump. You both agreed to not know about the gender of your baby till it finally arrives, therefor, whenever you went to a sonography you only asked the doctor if the baby was ok and refused to gain any more information. You were feeling sick a while ago so Dazai hurried to the hospital to show you to a doctor, and now you were waiting for the result.

The doctor smiled at Dazai's worried face and put the sonography results on the desk. "You're very attentive toward your wife's health condition, but these kind of problems are common during pregnancy. I'll give you some medicine to kill the pain, though I assure you, all four of them are fine"

"Thank you so much, doc—"

You suddenly froze. Looking at your husband and catching a glimpse of his shocked face, you turned your face toward the doctor. "How... How many?"

"Ah, you're carrying triplets, right?"

Shit.

"T-there has to be some kind of mistake, sir" You were now stuttering over your words and Dazai was still silently staring at the doctor with the same expression. "I mean we didn't want to know anything about our baby until it's born but— TRIPLETS? MY FUCKING VAGINA IS GOING TO EXPLODE!"

"I'll... give you a minute..."

As the doctor left the room, you covered your mouth with your hand. "Aren't you going to say something...?"

"I... guess we'll have to ask Kunikida to be the godfather..."

"So that we raise the kids with his money?"

"Yeah"

"Well, sounds like a plan"

↳Chuuya Nakahara

"Sob* this cake is sob* delicious..."

Chuuya had always had a hard time understanding people around him since they were all a bunch of weirdos, and ever since you showed him the result of your pregnancy test, he couldn't really get you either.

"Yeah... I would have believed you if you weren't crying while eating it" He shook his head with disappointment as he reached for the cake tray, but you snatched it away and shot him a threatening look. "DON'T YOU DARE EAT MY CAKES. THEY'RE ALL MINE!"

"Ok ok, geez..."

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"

"Nothing! Eat your cakes!"

"Don't tell me what to do! I eat my cakes whenever I want to!"

"Do whatever you want y/n"

You shoved the rest of the cakes in your mouth, and your sobs got even louder. "I'm sob* gonna get nom nom* fat... Waaaa this is so tasty... sob*"

Chuuya thought of leaving the room, but that could make you even angrier.

"It's all your fault that I'm fat since you're the one who got me pregnant in the first place!"

"I'm not complaining baby doll, you look even prettier like this..."

"SO NOW YOU WANT ME TO BE FAT?"

"My god that's not what I fucking meant!"

During these few months, you had become overly sensitive and moody. He really was the one to blame— Chuuya did knew that; but sometimes he lost control and snapped out, like now. Though the second he saw your teary eyes, he sighed and leaned to plant a kiss on your cheek. "I'm sorry honey... What can I do to make you feel better?"

"...More cakes please?"

↳Fyodor Dostoevsky

You were lying on the couch and Fyodor was sitting on the floor with his head on your belly, wearing a soft smile that made your heart flutter. He had become extra sweet with you since the day you got pregnant, so despite all the pain and trouble you were going through, you didn't want these days to be over.

"Are you sure she's going to kick?" he held your hand gently and lightly kissed your palm.

"Positive. I mean, I kinda have the feeling... You know, motherly instinct and stuff..."

"Then I shall wait a little longer" He closed his eyes and started stroking your hand with his thumb. You couldn't help but to reach out for his cheek with your free hand to caress it, and you almost died when he leaned to your touch.

"Fedya..." "I love you too, my darling"

Then it happened.

A light kick indirectly hitting his head, announcing her presence to her daddy.

Fyodor smiled, a dazzling one that was rare and charming to the eye, and looked at your belly. "My... Our baby is a wild one. That was one aggressive kick"

"I'm sure she's just impatient" Giggling softly, you patted your belly. "She's not aggressive, she only wants to arrive soon. Our baby will be an angel"

"She will be; she takes after her mother, after all"

You closed your eyes at the feeling of his lips pressed against your forehead, thankful for your lovely family. You went through a lot to get to this moment, but you could never regret it even one bit. Not when you have Fyodor, and your soon-to-be-born baby.

↳Ryuunosuke Akutagawa

Safe and sound sleeps had always been a stranger to Akutagawa. Growing up in the slums, he had to sleep with his eyes open so that he would be ready when a threat came along; and even though he was not living in the slums anymore, he still couldn't get much of a sleep.

You wouldn't let him.

"Ryuu" You shook him lightly, watching as his nose scrunched up with annoyance. He seemed put out and he didn't even open his eyes, talking to you with a low, husky voice. "What?"

"I want fried chicken"

You observed him as his eyes shot open and stared at your serious face with disbelief. He looked kind of shocked, and you wondered if he was familiar with the term "Craving".

"Y/n it's 4am" He sounded unsure. "All of the stores have closed by now"

"I'm pregnant with a seven months old baby Ryuunosuke, I don't care if it's 4am"

"Well I'm not going out right now either" He closed his eyes again, trying to go back to sleep; but your sudden remark suddenly sobered him up.

"Fine then, I guess I'll just have to eat you instead of the chicken"

Your tone was not humorous, nor it was threatening. It was more like you were announcing your next steps if you don't get your way.

"I don't think I'm enough to satisfy you. I'm all bones, barely any flesh"

"Then I'll eat your sister. She's not as skinny as you. She's living next door, isn't she?"

Looking at you again, Akutagawa searched for a hint of humor in your eyes to confirm that you were joking; but all he saw was a dangerous gaze, shooting out of a hungry, pregnant woman's vicious eyes.

"...I'll go get my coat"

↳Doppo Kunikida

"Y/n? Where are you?"

Hearing your husbands voice, you get up and exit the bedroom to greet him at the front door of your apartment. You announced your pregnancy to him last night, making him thrilled to bits. After celebrating with you, he had started planning out the ideal schedule for the nine months ahead. He had left you hours ago to go shopping for necessary items, and now he was finally back.

"Welcome home, Anata" You pecked him on the cheek. "So? What did you buy? Lemme see them"

The blonde smiled and took your hand, dragging you inside the living room to sit on the couch. He then started taking his purchases out of the shopping bags, explaining about them with slight excitement.

"This is a medicine to help you stop vomiting, this device is baby sleep that would inform us when the baby wakes up in it's room, and these are some clothes that I bought for the baby. I tried to buy neutral clothes since we still don't know the gender of our baby"

"Oh Doppo, I think it's still too soon to buy some of these" You chuckled and took the small shirt to have a better look of it. Its small size made you feel butterflies in your stomach. You were having a baby that probably looked like your husband. You finally had a family of your own. Nothing could stop you from being happy. Nothing...

"And these are for when your body gets bigger"

You looked at the pregnancy pants in his hands. "When my body gets bigger?"

"Yes"

NOTHING CAN STOP YOU FROM BEING HAPPY.

"Your ankles are gonna swell, your breast are gonna get bigger, even your face might get a bit out of shape in the last month. Your cheeks might bloat as well too. There will also be stretch marks on your belly, and your vagina might dilate if you choose not to have a caesarean... ARE THOSE TEARS IN YOUR EYES??"

All rights reserved © 2023 AshTheMadWriter. Please do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works on any platform.

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Love Like Cherry Blossoms

—Osamu Dazai X Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/n is a normal citizen with a normal life. Everything in her life goes as planned; work, home, eat, sleep and back to work; but things suddenly change when she switches bodies with a member of the ADA, by accident.

Genre: Fluff, Romance, Smut, Fantasy, Humor

Warnings: Mentions of male genitals, Coming out of coma, Body swapping

Word Count: 1.5K

A/n: This chapter is based on the webtoon "Turn to prince charming", which is where I got the original idea from. It's available on webcomics if you're interested!

Series Masterlist ⇝ Part Two

Vacuity.

It's what you've been feeling for... How long? You're not exactly sure, but it seems to be quite a while from the looks of it.

This place seems... Unfamiliar. Numb, senseless, and disturbing. You're floating around in a blank space you don't recognize, the light is blocking your vision and no matter how much you struggle, you can't move a single inch. This torpidness is illogically painful, you want to cry but there's no such thing as tears coming out of your eyes. It's only fear, tediousness, and irritation. But what hurts the most is...

You don't know what to do to free yourself from this nightmare.

Wake up.

It's a new voice coming from behind, and it feels so holy that you almost think it's a figment of your imagination and turn a blind eye to it; but you keep hearing it continuously. It's calling out to... You probably, since you're the only one who's present; but that's why you're confused.

Someone else has stepped into this dismal dimension.

...Actually, no; he was probably here from the beginning. He's been watching you from the very start, and after all the time you tried to run away from the blinding lights, now he wants to offer you a hand and help you out.

About time.

You look around, desperately searching for any sign of life and moving thing, but there's no one here except you, yet the voice doesn't stop echoing in the space.

Wake up.

You want to take his hand and run away with him, but you can't see any hand stretched out to hold yours and help you up. His voice comes from a very close distance, like he's whispering it next to your ear. Even though you cant see him, it doesn't scare you; it caresses your soul, comforts your broken heart, and kisses your spiritual scars.

You want to see your savior.

You cry out for him. Your throat stings and you cry out again and again, but nothing changes; except for his sentence becoming longer.

You should wake up.

And that's when you finally meet his cold, gorgeous hazel eyes; and through his bright, rueful smile, you suddenly realize the truth.

He isn't your savior.

He's just another victim.

"I know that it hurts, but you need to wake up"

When your eyes finally shoot open, the lights in the room bothers you again; but in the brief second you caught a glimpse of the room, you recognize the white walls, a packet of serum hanging on a metal pile, and the figure of a white haired boy sitting next to your bed, dozing off.

A hospital.

But I don't know this person.

You look around the room for any sign of familiarity, but when you don't find anything again, a frustrated sigh escapes you lips.

Well, at least I can move around now.

Careful not to wake the man up, you get out of the bed and drag the metal pile with you to a door you assume is the bathroom, which turns out to be right when you open it. You feel a bit dizzy that might be actually the result of your long coma; but there's another strange thing as well;

you're taller than you used to be.

Shaking your head to the side, you shrug your shoulders and unzip your pants to get rid of the pressure coming from your full bladders; but just as you're about to sit on the toilet, something new catches your eye.

A penis.

You giggle lightly and take a look at your member again. People were right! It sure is small when it's not erected. It has the same color as your skin and It kind of looks weird too... But at least it's shaved! Not completely though... But you can work with this too. And also...

Now you can pee while standing up!

Maybe life is showing its kind side to you again.

You mumble your favorite song as you take a piss, excited when it goes right inside the toilet. You're so good at aiming! If there was ever a competition about who can shoot their urine right inside the toilet, you probably would have been the winner, although this is actually the first time you're trying this out.

Wait.

You look at the penis again, and your blood freezes in your veins, because the last time you checked, you were definitely a woman.

Did you... get gender bent? Maybe they had to... turn you into a guy to save your life? What a pile of nonsense! Even if that's true...

Why are you taller than before?

You get up as fast as you can and run toward the mirror, and when you look at yourself, you're met with a foreign face of a brunette man with dashing looks. What shocks you more is his eyes, the same eyes you saw before you regain consciousness. You later realize that the voice you heard before is also his; but now, all you try to do is to scream, which results in a strident sound reminding you that sadly, men can't scream, and also in two people barging inside the bathroom- one of them is the one you saw earlier, and the other one is a white haired young boy, who's wearing an expression like he's been worried sick.

"Dazai? What's going on?"

Dazai?

As the taller man speaks up, you wonder if you recall knowing anyone named "Dazai", who you've been mistaken for. But maybe this isn't a mistake after all- maybe it's time for you to face the truth;

that you've switched bodies with some guy you don't even know.

Yet you still got a question to answer.

Looking at the blonde's stressed face, you bite your bottom lip with discomfort and let out a worried gasp.

"I... I have a penis, and I look hot"

His teeth grit.

"No Kunikida! Don't hit him!"

Dazai on the other hand, is having the time of his life.

"C'mon ladies! What are you afraid of? Hug me a bit tighter!"

Your friends share a confused look between each other and tighten their grip around whom they assume is you, but is actually a perverted man with handsy manner.

"Ahhhhh, I nearly died. What a tragedy indeed! Aren't you all happy that I've survived? You can express your happiness by giving me a kiss, you know. I won't mind it at all~"

For someone who's been in a coma for nearly two weeks, Dazai sure is energetic. The doctors were all so taken aback that they got him a blood test to check if he's feeling alright or not, but everything was normal, except for his behavior. Well, yours, to be specific. Your friends have never seen you so... weird; yet they don't say anything because you're back, and that's all that matters. Nearly.

Dazai is feeling blessed. At first he was disappointed since he was literally at death's door but somehow survived; but all those negative feelings faded away when he looked down and saw two pair of boobs on his body. His lips curled up into a wide smirk, and then called out for the people outside, bringing him to his current situation.

One of your friends caresses his hair and looks at him with pure concern. "Y/n... Are you really ok? We wanted to sue that scumbag who hit you with his car, but he also got lapsed into a coma and we weren't sure if you wanted us to... "

Scumbag? Oh! They're talking about him.

"No need to do that, pretty! I'm sure he's a decent man with pure heart and killer looks— besides, accidents happen, right?"

"Oh? Sure... Apparently he's waken up too by the way! You might not wanna sue him but we can go to his room and kick that careless ass of his! Why don't you wanna sue him anyway? These careless people piss me off— he nearly took your life!"

Dazai feels a tiny bit guilty. All he wanted to do was to mess with Kunikida, and what better way than stealing the key of his new car? Although he was caught in the act and had to turn on the engine in order to run away from a shouting, raged Kunikida, forgetting the fact that he doesn't know how to drive a car. He eventually lost control of the car and all he thought of doing was to pull up the car, to avoid crashing into anything.And of all people, you had to run in the middle of the road.

All Dazai saw before his head hit the windscreen was you, collapsing on the ground, your head getting struck against the street corner.

"No need... Actually, if his colleague— or whatever, comes here, shoo him away somehow. Tell him that he's one hundred percent forgiven but I don't want to see them ever again, ok? Especially if the guy's name was Kunikida"

Right. For now, all he should do is relax, enjoy himself and avoid everyone until things get calmer.

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