ashvolkner

[ashvolkner]

Man, imagine being Liara T'soni. You're only 106, only barely an adult in Asari years, and you're doing some routine archeological dig on some nowhere planet. And you suddenly touch the wrong thing and a forcefield traps you in place. And then a human shows up. A beautiful alien space commander from beyond the stars comes to rescue you, with her guns and her muscles. A knight in shining power armor. Yeah I'd fall in love too. I'd follow her anywhere. And when she died, I'd turn to crime to save her. I'd sacrifice anything to bring her back. To see her again. I get it

[ashvolkner]

you have poor reading comprehension

[ashvolkner]

Jeeeeeeez

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Waiting on a bus💙

Pictured by Iona Bruce

[ashvolkner]

The French advert for the women’s football World Cup is incredible.

[ashvolkner]

The little things we take for granted!

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And never have I been more resolute in giving up live broadcast TV and not bothering with a TV Licence 🫠

Hell country.

[ashvolkner]

My favourite part was when half the party were saying "don't just assume, let's hear her out first!"

And she opens by proving every doubter correct 🙈

Who on Earth is advising Kate Forbes? Fucking hell, she’s terrible.

[ashvolkner]

Alexa, forward to Nicola Sturgeon.

Alexa, CC to Rishi Sunak

Alexa, send message to Douglas Ross saying he's a big jobbie

Tumblr doesn’t know what it’s unleashed.

[ashvolkner]

Supreme Jobby Juggler Aye 🙌💩

HUH cult leader now?

Yeah, I feed people drugs and clean up when they shit everywhere.

[ashvolkner]

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Not a surprise, just eternally staring into my soul 😅

tap for a surprise

[ashvolkner]

Thank you to everyone who assisted in sheparding me into my dirty thirties and reminding me I am not dead. (yet) (at Ｍｙ ｈｅａｒｔ) https://www.instagram.com/p/ClHdmN6LUVXvm06sNwWctwBZnxP2-Pe_Lzgrc40/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[ashvolkner]

Faeries, Blair Witch, same thing. Did I survive or am I posting from a shallow grave by the fae fall. Tune in next time to find out 🌲🧚‍♀️🪓😵🩸 (at Lynn Glenn Falls) https://www.instagram.com/p/ClHXEjELC0f0kB1tgaI81x2RugaIqGp59kSwKc0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[ashvolkner]

🌊⛵️boats n water n stuff innit ⛵️🌊 (at Largs Yacht Haven) https://www.instagram.com/p/ClHWEl8L931i0fP5wJXnTrWBAqzH__38D95WKc0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[ashvolkner]

Gentleman farmer chic ✌️👨‍🌾🤠 (at Tennox Parlour) https://www.instagram.com/p/ClHVwbGLVrrrAv03YXxFncllv7QUdF732w_FX80/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=