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*/NALANI ALVI

nalani’s ears rang as she left the busy and loud nightlife she was just apart of to join the outside world. the lights took her a moment to adjust to and the amount of booze in her system hit her all at once when it was finally quiet. well, quieter at least. she leaned against a wall where she thought enough people would leave her alone for a few moments and took out her dab pen and took one long hit before holding it out to the person closest to her. “want a hit?” the smoke was still leaving her lips as she spoke.

IT’S BEEN TOO LONG SINCE HE’S actually gone out. Or at least had a good time. And it’s less than five months until he doesn’t have to use his ridiculous fake anymore. But just as he’s predicted most of his group has d i s p e r s e d in different directions, leaving him outside by himself. Some weekend. He thinks. But his solitude doesn’t last long before a vape pen is in his face, the stranger in front of him looking about as drunk as he is. 

❝I—uh.❞ He hesitates for a second. But one hit wouldn’t kill him, and at this point in the night he needed it. ❝You know what? Fuck it—sure.❞ 

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*/ CAMI WRIGHT

HE STILL DOESN’T KNOW HOW HE FEELS ABOUT HER. Being away at school allowed him to ignore her existence at first. Just as he did with all the others. But she’s still here. Despite his father’s old habits, Alex had yet to see another girl walk through the door saying she was dating his father. And even though there’s a part of him that wants to despise her as much as Leo does, Alex can’t bring himself to do it. Even if she probably knew more about him than he’d ever want her to. No matter how many times he’s told himself to get to know her, he can’t. Sure Cami isn’t his m o t h e r, but Alex never really knew Ariana Sinclair either. The little voice in the back of his mind always likes to remind him that she can disappear just as quickly as everyone else in his life did. And that thought alone has forced him to keep at a distance. 

❝So❞, Alex drawls, leaning back against his seat. His gaze focused anywhere but her. ❝You’re sticking around, huh?❞ ( @ethercals )

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*/ OLIVER SINCLAIR

HE ISN’T SURE WHAT EXACTLY LEADS HIM to his uncle’s house. But after an exhausting morning run and returning to an empty house, the boredom hit him like a freight train. He misses the endless motion in Boston. How people were constantly making plans and doing things. Ashcroft is one s t a g n a n t day that never wants to end, and he wonders if he’ll actually go crazy before the summer ends. Maybe he should bother to text back his high school friends and make plans. But that requires too much effort, and too much explanation on his part. So instead he’s found himself at Oliver’s. Part of him hopes his uncle is home so that he doesn’t have to return to an empty house, but the other part wonders if he’s being too intrusive. Can’t he just come over? Was it hypocritical to suddenly hang around your family after avoiding them most of the year?  

❝ Hey, it’s Alex. ❞ His voices carries down the hall. ❝ I let myself in. ❞ ( @sweetshadcw )

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*/ LEO SINCLAIR

HE’S AWARE THAT HE SHOULD BE DOING more with his time off than moping around. It certainly wasn’t going to get him back to BU in the fall. But the thought of texting anyone from home to make plans feels too exhausting. It’ll require explanations. Why haven’t you texted us sooner? Why did you come home three weeks e a r l y? It’s a time bomb he’d rather leave ticking for now. But there are at least two people that don’t leave him restless at the thought of contacting. And perhaps that’s because of the blood the three of them share, or the fact that he can just look at either of them and say so much more than his mouth ever could. 

He decides to find one of them—his little brother. Knowing it’s likely that the other Sinclair is still home, Alex sprints up to his room. He steps over to the open doorway, bruised knuckles tapping lightly against the frame. 

❝Leo, you in there? I’m about to die of boredom in this house.❞ ( @goldblcd )

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I am angry. I want to break things.

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*/ JULIA ZHU

HE DOESN’T KNOW WHY HE BOTHERED coming here. It isn’t as if he enjoys the taste of coffee, he d e s p i s e s it. The bitter taste, the pungent smell. Not that he’d ever indulge in a latte either. Even if it’s loaded in sugar the espresso still hits him like a freight train. But he has to keep busy. Even if that means tutoring kids on the side, and doing some stupid summer rec league so that his family stays off his back. And after attempting to help out a junior with his Trig final all morning, Alex Sinclair forced himself to drink coffee. His dark gaze bores into the cup, wondering if how long it’ll take to force the liquid down. If he can even hope to keep it down at all.

❝ How do people drink this shit all the time? It tastes like tar. ❞ ( @thcprcblem )

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*/DYLAN SINCLAIR

SLEEP NEVER COMES EASY FOR a restless mind. He’s used to tossing and turning until the rose tinted dawn stains through his windows, announcing yet another night without a decent rest. The psychiatrist, ‘doctor’ comes up with every trick in the book that’ll improve it. But she can’t comprehend the w i r e d thoughts that scream through his ears. Except there is one thing that tames his restless nature, or at least leaves him too exhausted to fight the chaotic dreams that threaten to surface. Running. He usually waits until the streetlights come on and it’s only him and the rare vehicle speeding toward their annual night shift. Tonight is no different as the streetlights reflect off his white tee shirt and a drizzle of rain dampens his chocolate curls. 

But it isn’t until his thighs are screaming and the air has all but left his lungs that Alex finally returns home. The light spilling from beneath his doorway causes frustration to build inside the eldest Sinclair. Was it his dad worried that he was doing something stupid again? He hoped not. It isn’t until he barges through the door that the relief floods him. At the very least this face brings more comfort than anger. ❝ What are you doing in here? Did some dad reject you on Tinder again? ❞  ( @lvxprima )

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STARTER CALL— Give this a like if you want a starter from Alex so I can get some threads going. If you’re a multimuse please specify which person you want it for. 

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my dear, we are all made of water. it’s okay to rage. sometimes it’s okay to rest. to recede.

Sanober Khan (via wordsnquotes)

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[ MUSE 82 ] ●● is that TOM HOLLAND? no, that’s just ALEXANDER “ALEX” SINCLAIR, the 20 year old CISMALE who is a COLLEGE STUDENT. some say they’re ELITIST and VOLATILE, but their family and friends will swear they’re FOCUSED and LOYAL. when i think of them, i think of sleepless nights, bruised knuckles, and sad eyes. i wonder if his family knows that HE WAS RECENTLY DIAGNOSED WITH DEPRESSION. ●● ( Mar && 23 && est && she/her )

Trigger Warnings: mental health, depression, anxiety, references to self-harm and attempted suicide, panic attacks

Hi everyone I’m Mar. I was here once but I had finals going on and time was crazy so I didn’t really get to know everyone. But now I have a lot more time on my hands, and I’ve wanted to bring in Alex for awhile. Listed below are some basics about him, I also have his statistics up on my page that go a little more in depth. I’ll have his bio ready whenever I don’t feel like being lazy. Please love my sad little emotional tornando and give this post a like if you want to plot. You can also message me on my discord mar_rosex#6743 at anytime. I promise I don’t bite. I can’t wait to interact with your muses! ( Also this is so long I write wayyy to much pls bear with me x: )

Basic Intro:

Alexander, aka Alex Sinclair (Don’t call him Alexander unless you want him to throw a shit fit) is the eldest of the Sinclair siblings. During most of the year he’s away at school in Boston. But for some breaks and visits he’s living with his family in Ashcroft. 

His mom left when he was only three. He actually does remember her, though a lot of it is very fuzzy. His feelings are very conflicted. He has abandonment issues just like his other siblings. But he can’t bring himself to hate her. He’s wanted to try to find her for awhile now but worries what the others will say if he does. He has this very ‘the grass is always greener’ perception about her. Like if she were still here they all would have turned out better, or maybe Alex wouldn’t have this irrational need to shut out any woman in his life that attempts to be a mother figure. He knows it’s stupid to hold out hope of ever coming in contact with her again, but that doesn’t mean he’s given up on that dream.

His relationship with his family is complicated. Mostly because they’re aware of his mental health issues, and it embarrasses him. Sometimes he’s around and other times he’ll text his dad the night before Thanksgiving dinner and say he’s gonna spend it somewhere else. He wants to be the big brother that buys them alcohol when they sneak off to parties, and beats up the bullies. He does love them though, even if he’s not good at explaining emotions. His ‘ I love yous ’ are very subtle. If they need him, he’s there without hesitation. While he struggles with explaining things to his dad, he will talk to his siblings. It’s always felt like the three of them against the world. 

He isn’t aware of his father’s illegal business, but Alex doesn’t have much interest in the legal one. Business involves too much talking, too much kissing peoples asses. It’s not his kind of career. But besides this Alex still has an irrational need to please his dad. He feels like he has to do double the work since his mother isn’t there to see all his achievements. He also knows how successful the men in his family are (even if it wasn’t for legal reasons), and he wants to be better than them.

To most, Alex comes off as an outgoing guy, and kind of a dick. On the outside he’s very elitist. He will always try to be the smartest in the room, and let you know it. Alex has always had this irrational need to be the best at everything. Even if he isn’t, he’ll thinks he is. He knows the weight of his name, and has constantly used it over the years to get what he wants. But at the same time he’ll also mock others who do the same and call them trust fund brats. If he sees you as a threat, aka you’re outshining him--it’s a big issue. If he likes you though he’ll stick his neck out for you. (This mostly applies to his siblings, but they’re not safe from his competitive streak either.)  His loyalty to those he cares for knows no bounds. And if you’re in some trouble he’s the first person there to help get you out of it.

Alex’s elitist streak doesn’t just end with interactions. He wants success, he craves it. Give him the smallest bit of power and he’ll run with it. Even if he’s set for life he plans to use his degree to make a name for himself. To be known as more than just another Sinclair kid. School has always come easy to Alex. He decided to attend Boston University and just finished his Sophomore year. Academics have always been something he’s enjoyed, but he can often get away with doing well and not studying. He’s studying Engineering with a minor in Chemistry. Math and Science have always been his favorite subjects. He loves knowing there’s a definite answer. Put him in an English class and he’ll either fall asleep or slowly die of boredom.

But below the surface there’s always been something more to him. He isn’t this outgoing, cocky guy that everyone thinks he is. No one talks about the fact that if there’s too many people in the room his hands will start to shake and he’ll lose the ability to complete a sentence. Or that during parties Alex always ends up outside after it feels like the room is closing in on him. Rumors hushed pretty quickly when someone though they heard Alex say that socializing feels draining. Most assume his permanent frown is due to looking down on everyone else. For some reason he always seems angry, even when no one is trying to steal his thunder. It’s always felt that way. Ever since he was a little kid and would run off only to be found by his dad hiding somewhere, a sobbing mess that couldn’t stop shaking. 

Therapists used to blame his mom, so when he turned 18 he refused go anymore. They said his abandonment issues led to irrational bouts of anxiety. But it’s easy to blame her when Alex has always just been...sad. There’s never been a day where he doesn’t feel the endless need to be the best or please those he cares about. There’s days where he can’t get out of bed. Days where eating or showering seem like too much so he just lays there, wondering why the hell the universe bothered with him. He feels like the doctors never listen. That they think he’s crazy when he’s just angry. 

He’s terrible with his emotions in general. In high school he was nicknamed a hot head for always snapping at others or trying to get in fights with those who threatened him. If it wasn’t for his last name, he probably would have gotten suspended for bruising his knuckles on the other boys’ faces. In college his roommate has forced him to take up boxing, where they’ll go to the gym for hours and just punch the bag. It helps, but the rage is always simmering. Instead of coming off as weepy and sensitive he uses anger to communicate. It’s often a cry for help, but he’ll never admit that. He’d rather have people think he’s a dick than crazy.

Every year it got worse, especially after he moved away to school. In high school he’d be medicated to keep things under control. But without therapy the pills stopped, and so did his control. The panic attacks became more common, to the point where people in his classes would notice the sweat on his brow or the shallow breathing. His roommate would comment on how Alex hadn’t left the dorm in two weeks, or that his phone was off for days. He wouldn’t go home for certain breaks or weekends, worried that his dad would see him and be disappointed. Or that Leo and Dylan would think he was too crazy to be around anymore. 

It came to a head at the end of the current spring semester. His last psychiatrist told him that he was a volcano, and everything was going to blow if he didn’t confront his issues. It started at a party his friends were throwing. They dragged him there The typical signs were all showing. He couldn’t talk to them without downing some drinks. The room felt like it was closing in every time someone brushed against his back. Too small a space and way too many people around. Everything that he’d been pushing away suddenly rose to the surface. He doesn’t remember most of it. He just remembers running out of there, and then he’s in the dorm showers. He didn’t remember the knife he took from the kitchenette or one of his hall mates screaming for help. He always did it as a teenager when his dad was looking the other way, and it never caused too much harm. It was always a release. But this time it was.

So the school sent him home, and his professors took his current grades as finals. He has to go to a psychiatrist for the rest of the summer in order to get cleared to go back in the Fall. She refers to it as ‘the incident’, much like the other few people that are aware of it. She’s also diagnosed him with Depression. He refuses to talk about it head on with pretty much anyone, and his issues in general. Everyone else just assumes he finished the semester out early. Since he has to go, Alex  just tells the psychiatrist what she wants to hear. He takes the pills she gives them but tries to flush them down the toilet when no one is looking. He hates being home. He hates being labeled as a crazy ticking time bomb. His anger hasn’t suppressed, if anything it’s gotten worse. He just wants to go back to that toddler who was laughing with his mom in the backyard and blowing bubbles. Not the mess he is now.

Wanted Connections:

Sinclair Fam: I need this. All the family, all the drama. Give it to me. 

Ride or Die: His best friend since they could walk. One of the only people outside of his family that knows what the hell is going on with Alex. These two are hardly seen apart. They probably are one of the few people who can push him to try in therapy and help him get his shit together. 

College Roommate: I think this would be interesting if it were someone from Ashcroft. Especially since they’re one of the few people who know about the incident and Alex’s struggles. It’d be cool if maybe this was someone who he always knew but didn’t get close with until they lived together. Also now that they’re both home and can see one another again it’d be interesting. 

High School Friends: I imagine he had a small group he was close with in school. People that he still bothers to talk to after graduation. People that he grew up with and know him better than most.

College/Boston Friends: People he met while away at school. Maybe they also live in Ashcroft or recently moved there. 

Enemies: Since Alex is a dick to 90% of the human population he’s well aware that he’s made enemies. There’s probably a line of them tbh.

Ex-Girlfriend: Alex isn’t a relationship guy. That requires too much of letting someone else in. I imagine this was something from highs school and he pushed her away. Maybe it was mutual. Or it could be really messy. I love everything angsty so I’m down for w/e for this. 

Flings: As I said above he’s not into relationships. He’ll usually hookup or do FWB, but he’s pretty private about it. He doesn’t let the line blur between a hookup and something more. Usually if he thinks someone’s catching feelings he’ll end things. 

If you had any other ideas in mind don’t hesitate to hit me up about them. I’m always down for anything, I’m a shameless plot whore. 

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I don’t have to forgive to heal. This anger has healed me in more ways than forgiving a person ever could.

A person heals in different ways | n.b (via sickly)

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tomhollanddaily‌:

TOM HOLLAND 📸Michael Muller/Man About Town Magazine

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