asingularblueberry-blog

[asingularblueberry-blog]

whippet

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every recipe can be made better with garlic

examples:

bread

mashed potatoes

salad

sandwiches

cookies

ice cream

bread again

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frogs r like (๑ Θ ◡ Θ ๑)

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i used to be scared of Ichthyosaurs but i’m now rebranding them as incredibly derpy 

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an actual angel

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did you know red snapper can live for over 50 years…. whatre they DOING down there ( this used to say 100 because i CAN NOT read )

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Imagine a dragon at Antiques Roadshow, appraising its hoard

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strategy/tips for the area 51 raid:

-get some sort of protection against bullets, no one wants to get shot

-bring your blast protection diamond armour y’all, maybe also bring the enchanting table as well (make sure to leave space in your inventory though) (seriously though watch out for landmines)

-actually attacking the guards is a bad idea, but we will probably need weapons, so maybe bring a switchblade or a concealable weapon just in case

-first aid kits first aid kits first aid kits

-sunscreen, it’s in nevada after all

-uno reverse card

-learn how to naruto run very fast in the following 3-4 months

-make sure to supply yourself with food. KYLES: make sure to bring a fuckton of monster energy drinks

-we tell kpop stans they they have some kpop guy locked in at area 51, they will surely join the raid as human shields then

-bring ur strongest diamond swords and ur army of minecraft dogs

-don’t forget that we are comrades and we help each other out at all times

-tnt and flint & steel to blow up the gates

-wave 1: kyles and naruto runners, a strong wave to start off the raid. remaining survivors will wait for the rest of the team

-wave 2: furries and alien butt clappers, nothing can stop their weird but temporarily accepted passion for weird shit

-wave 3: anti-vaxx kids, taylor swift and kpop stans (human shields), and karens, a wave weaker than the others to trick the guards to thinking that we’re at our last resorts

-the last wave: keanu reeves, minecraft redstone engineers and command block geniuses, jacksepticeye, and an army of raiders with heavy armour and flamethrowers we got from elon musk

-when we get into the entrance of the base, naruto runners and kyles go on the front lines. everyone gets into position and the redstone engineers break the walls with tnt.

-naruto runners run faster than bullets to get through the guards and use the tnt they got to break through the inner gates (of course they are wearing blast protection armour just in case). the kyles distract the guards with the furries and alien butt clappers. probs most anti-vaxx kids are dead by now. the karens are complaining and asking the guards to talk to their manager, and the rest is resisting guards that are trying to get us from behind.

-we explode more walls and stuff

-half the team goes to discover the research lab and the other half goes to free the aliens. (though all the alien butt clappers get to go to the alien place, they deserve it). wave 4 peeps stay behind to take care of the guards.

-when we are done raiding the research base and the alien prison place, we meet up. hopefully we find UFO’s or something so we can use those to transport everyone. we try out the new weapons first to see how we can use them non-lethally and stop the guards when we are escaping. NO ONE GETS LEFT BEHIND.

-when we are done with area 51 we go over to the stupid ass concentration camps they lock up innocent children in and free all of them. the government would not expect for us to raid there right after area 51. plus, we have our new alien technology!

-happy end: kids are free, the government totally destroyed, aliens are free, we made history, butt clappers are happy, naruto runners and weebs are finally honoured, and for once, earth is in peace.

-reminder that do not try to kill guards on purpose, they have lives and families, too. just don’t kill any guards even though they are trying to kill us. maybe kidnap them but don’t hurt them, they are just doing their job.

-also anyone who raids will be a criminal from now on, damn that’s hard to take. if you kill a guard that’s even worse. prepare for the trauma and the consequences of raiding area 51.

thank yall for coming to my ted talk

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Discord culture

-”we should move it to #general”

-come on internet don’t give up on me rn just send this fucking message, the first one doesn’t make any sense without it, and HELL you sent it out of order, oh my god BYE I am out I am socially dead now

-???who else reacted with that emoji I NEED to know

-talking to the same person in 3 servers and 5 channels at the same time about unrelated things

-”goodnight !!!!” *only make yourself invisible to go for a last ninja stroll on tumblr/twitter/instagram/whatever before the real snooze*

-”what time is it where you are again”

-the off topic channel that becomes the busiest

-congrats!!! u successfully edited your message but the server’s shiteater already pointed out your typo

-muting the notifications at lightspeed in busy servers with 7 bots

-”I should leave some servers I am in 33 of them”

-”@everyone *irrelevant thing*

feel free to add

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Shoutout to Bisexual Black Men ✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿

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continued

every emotion known to mankind in the span of 30 seconds

N a p ? ??? ?

My only moods are

High empathy

Anxious Anxious anxious!!

I AM GOD

Dissociate

The pure embodiment of rage

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Modern Greek Gods

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Theory Time

The reason endermen don’t like it when you look at them is because they communicate telepathically with one another by locking eyes! Humans are absolutely not designed to do this so when we look at them we are accidentally projecting all of our thoughts into them at the same time and it hurts :(

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no crops at pride just me and my bat

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I'll never forget my first pride.

I can't remember my actual age, but it was in the range of 10 to 13 I think. my parents had dragged me to a Pride festival, and walked across the street from the main event, across where the lines were drawn, to where a sea of people in red shirts that read "god has a better way" tried to drown out the celebration with speakers blasting christian music, and shouting and loud praying.

the leaders pulled all us kids to the side and gave us the spiel. they told us how the rainbow had been stolen from us, and that these people were tricked by the devil and just needed prayer, but that if we didn't save them, they were going to hell.

I rolled my eyes because I already didn't believe in god, and although I barely knew what being gay was, I knew my parents were usually on the Wrong side of things, and I shouldn't be siding with them.

"We aren't allowed over there if we're wearing the red shirts," the leaders told us, "so we're sending people over in secret without them so you can pass out tracts and pray for people. they won't talk to us, but they'll talk to the kids. does anyone want to volunteer?"

the people in red shirts disgusted me. the people on the other side of the line were cheering and having fun. I raised my hand.

we were supposed to go in groups with young adults, to make sure we were doing what we were supposed to be. I wandered off the minute I could and stood nervously at the edge of a crowd, watching on as people went by, happy and unbothered by the protests across the street. I felt a little pride myself in tricking the protestors into giving up a witness spot to me, when I was going to smile on and think profanities at god instead.

there was an older woman standing outside the crowd too. she asked if I was here with anyone, a girlfriend maybe? I said no, my parents were across the street. she nodded, and said she was here with her kid. a daughter, that she came to support, but couldn't keep up with in the crowd.

I almost cried. I told her how amazing that was, because I couldn't imagine my mother showing support like that to me over anything, much less something as serious as Being Gay. I imagined if I was gay, and at a pride event just like now, but this time because I Belong.

I knew automatically that my mother, without a doubt, would still be in the same place, across the street.

I got hungry after a bit, and tried to find a good food truck. I had a little money and I was unused to being on my own like this, but I didn't want to go back to the Other Side. I knew now without a shadow of a doubt, this was the Good side and that was the Bad side.

as I was eating the gyro I got, there was a stream of red shirted protestors trickling through; I had reached the end of the boundaries, and the protestors were allowed in here. I backed up a little, spotting my dad among them. I didn't want him to tell me to go back.

there was a line of women closing ranks around the Pride attendees, separating them from the protesters as they walked through. they spread their arms out and told every person the protesters spoke to that they were not obligated to respond, they could walk away and not engage.

my dad spotted me back, and made a beeline over. he couldn't cross over because a butch lesbian stood between us. I didn't know what those words meant, but I never forgot the buttons she was wearing.

he tried to tell me that it was time to go. "you're not obligated to speak to him," the butch said, cutting him off and edging further between us. I smiled at her, a little in wonderment. no one had ever told me that I didn't have to speak to my parents, or do anything other than blindly obey them. I watched my dad get held behind a line by a woman half his height, with no intention on letting him get to me, and I smiled and walked away.

I didn't have a clue who I was then, and I wouldn't for a good few years to come. but I never forgot the supportive mother, who symbolized to me everything a mother should be, that mine, for all her religious self righteousness, would never hold a candle to. I never forgot that she was the person I wanted to be, and my mother was the person I did not want to be.

I never forgot the butch who stood between me and my dad, and for the first time ever, put the idea in my head that I was ALLOWED to make my own choices in my beliefs, and made me feel protected in a way I hadn't known I needed.

the image of her standing between me and my dad, being a physical barrier to protect me against any potential threat, that inspired the image of who I admired and wanted to become. it inspired the version of me who could stand up to my dad - to the point that I could hold my ground and educate him enough that over a decade later, he walked side by side with me at a pride festival, with no intent of witnessing to or condemning anybody.

pride month may be over, but the impact this month and these events can have is so damn important. I became who I am because of two people I met at a pride festival. I'll never forget.

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