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I am truly sorry about my extended hiatus; my Loki muse decided to almost completely leave me. I am, however, attempting to remain at least slightly vigil at my Bucky blog, so if you wanted to do anything, I’m happy to be Bucky.

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Job AUs

General

‘Hey bastard this store is already closed oh wait you’re hot never mind please do come in’ AU

‘I’m on the verge of tears because of a rude customer and you step in and stand up for me’ AU

‘I can feel you silently judging me as you ring up my purchases I swear I’m not using these for their intended purpose’ au

‘Why does this cost TEN DOLLARS THIS IS AN OUTRAGE’ AU

Hairdresser AU

‘You’re my regular customer and I’m in love with the feel of your hair’ AU

“Rumor has it that you’re a hairdresser with magic fingers and you can fix any bad hair day so that’s why I’m here’ AU

Gift store AU

‘Why the fuck are you choosing that for a gift to your crush’ AU

‘You walk in and offer to pay me to wrap your gifts’ AU

Florist AU

‘I work as a florist and every day you walk in, buy one flower and give it to me’ AU

‘I work part-time in a flower shop and you keep asking me about what this flower means in flower language and I honestly don’t know so you end up giving me a lesson’ AU

Jewellery shop AU

‘You walk in and ask for the most expensive piece are you loaded to the gills what the fuck man’ AU

‘I’m the employee and this is the first time ever I’ve met you but you buy me a necklace saying the gem compliments my eyes’ AU

Coffee Shop AU

I write a bad pick up line on your cup every time I’m your barista’ AU

‘You’re the customer and you get back at me for all the times I’ve spelt your name wrong by mispronouncing my name in increasingly horrible ways’ AU

‘You’re really short and cute and you buy a cup of black coffee every morning but you make weird faces as you sip it and you never finish your drink are you trying to look mature or something’ AU

‘Should I be concerned about how much caffeine you’re taking in’ AU

Bakery AU

‘Your love of strawberry shortcake really doesn’t match your appearance but i still think that’s really cute’ AU

‘Every morning you walk in and inhale deeply then walk back out seriously just buy something already’ AU 

Drug Store/Chemist AU

‘You embarrassedly place your items into the counter so I call a price check just to make you feel more awkward, but it turns out one of your items were actually overpriced’ AU

Bartender AU

‘You’re the bartender and you catch someone slipping something into my drink’ AU

‘I ask you to concoct something from all the ingredients on the list i gave you and it ends up tasting so horrible and wrong that i can’t stop laughing’ AU

Teacher AU

We’re both teachers and at the end of the year we compare how many gifts we’ve received from students and you’ve won for the past three years’ AU

‘Romeo and Juliet of the math and english dept. in school’ AU

Writer AU

I’m a writer and when it gets close to my deadlines I neglect taking care of myself so you’ll pop in my house every so often to make sure I’m doing okay’ AU

Fast food Chain AU

‘You just ordered a smile and I look at you like you’re batshit insane before bursting out into laughter’ AU

‘You’re an employee and I have a crush on you so when you hand me the soft serve I accidentally grab it by the ice cream instead of the cone’ AU

‘We have a free refill policy for soft drink and you’ve prepared several empty bottles what the fuck’ AU

Corner Shop AU

‘I see you come in here every day to buy the same drink and one day I leave a message on the bottle’ AU

‘You run in looking really panicked and you ask for 6 gallons of milk why’ AU

 Restaurant AU

‘You’re a famous critique and I’m a server and I get so nervous that I trip and spill the dish all over you’ AU

‘You’ve always been a good cook so I encouraged your start your own restaurant and seven years down the track you own one of the most successful businesses’ AU

Idol/Manger AU

‘I’m your manager and holy shit you have crazy fans’ AU

‘You’re an idol and you got the lead role in a romance drama and you practice at my expense’ AU

‘Can you please act appropriately do you know just how many of your fuck ups I’ve had to cover up last week’ AU 

Firefighter AU

‘You’ve just been saved from a burning building and you’re begging to go back in to save your pet cat’ AU

“No that’s impossible how the fuck did you manage to get it to catch fire?!” AU

Sex Line Operator AU

‘I called you because I was curious and wow you have a very soothing voice can you please sing me to sleep’ AU

‘I have a very cute neighbour and very thin walls and one day I call you and err your moans are very synchronised with my neighbour’s’ AU

And Finally:

You’re a drug lord and I think I’ve just walked into your drug den’ AU

sorry not sorry

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Should I start a Bucky rp blog as well?

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but what about angsty otp AUs

“hey so i kind of made this deal to save you and you just need to let me go and let me do this i promised you i wouldn’t let you get hurt i intend to keep that promise now let me go” “where are you going” “i gave myself over to our enemy” au

or alternatively “who are you” “so this is gonna sound really weird right now but i made a deal to save your life but at the cost of all of your memories of us together and i’m acting like i’m not bothered but i’m dying inside” au

“hey how are you doing it’s been a while hasn’t it. yeah i guess i’m good but nothing’s really been the same since the accident. i started talking to myself a lot lately and waiting for responses because i’ve been so used to you being there but now you’re dead and oh look i’m crying over your grave” au

“we’re in the middle of battle right now what are you doing. oh no what are you—HOE DON’T DO IT” “[takes hit meant for other person]” “oh my God” au

“don’t die on me oh God please don’t die on me stay with me look at me look at me i’m right here you’re gonna be fine oh God please don’t die on me i s2g if you die i’ll kill you” au

“i’ve finally rescued you from that science lab that those scientists brought you to after they kidnapped you and oh God what have they done to you” au

“why are you looking at me like that. come on, i love you, you know that—oh, why are you pointing that gun/sword/knife/blaster/etc. at me. put it…put it down nice and gently. i love you, please don’t do this. put it down. you’re not in you’re right mind, they’re controlling you, pLEASE DON’T KILL ME. I LOVE YOU. COME ON, PLEASE PUT IT DOWN YOU’RE SCARING ME THIS ISN’T YOU YOU’RE UNDER MIND CONTROL” au

“i made a deal to save your life and we can never be with each other ever again or else the person i made the deal with is going to kill one of us and make the other watch i’m so sorry it was the only way” au

“i died and came back and now i get to relive my last day with you knowing i’m going to die and you know nothing and i can’t prevent this and you’re just so happy i’m here you have no idea what just happened and your heart is going to be crushed all over again” au

“i have to tell you something really important if i don’t tell you now i will never get the chance. i lo—” [explosion] au

“you died like two years ago and i’ve been grieving your death and all of a sudden you’re standing in the middle of my living room telling me you’re a ghost that never moved on and you had nowhere to go and found me again well hi i missed you oh oops i’m crying” au

“I THOUGHT YOU’VE BEEN DEAD. FOR TEN YEARS. WHY ARE YOU ON MY FRONT DOORSTEP. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN. WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME CRY LIKE THIS I HATE THAT I LOVE YOU AND WHY DID YOU EVEN LEAVE IN THE FIRST PLACE” au

“so i’m in this gang/cult/etc and i was told to bring you to them because they had ‘unfinished business’ to take care of and i didn’t realize that they wanted to kill you and i kind of really like you and now i have no idea what to do i just really need to get you out of here and then we need to like flee the state because then they’ll be looking for both of us and they’ll kind of want to kill both of us” au

“so we’re kind of the head royals of this kingdom and rebels just stormed the castle and oh look at that you’re dying and i’m crying” au

“you were assigned to kill me and then we kind of fell for each other but your boss found us out and if you don’t kill me right now he’s going to kill your family oh God just please kill me stop crying just save your damn family” au

“i’m immortal you’re mortal and we kind of fell for each other but this is gonna get real complicated when you’re 80 and i’m still a teenager because well i’m not sure how to say this but you do realize you’ll age and die and i’ll be left alone again right” au

“so i guess some guy from the future came and he told me that you’re responsible for the apocalypse and if there’s any hope for humanity it rests on me and i have to kill you please don’t hate me for this” au

[ask-god-of-sex]

Reblog if you are a Marvel RP Blog

You will be added to our masterlist of Canon and OC roleplay blogs for Marvel.

[ask-god-of-sex]

Well, you can get teacup pigs that DO stay small, I do believe. Though that's just what I've heard.

(OOC).... Halp

Darcy wants a pet pig… but those DO NOT STAY SMALL!!! They get BIG! And WILL NOT FIT IN A NYC apartment! 

TT^TT

Talk her out of it please

Cause she’s not listening to me!

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“Well that’s ridiculous. ‘People’ is a term that refers to a species or race ofsentient creatures that have formed a civilisation or a society. It’s a bit arrogantto claim it only applies to humans, isn’t it?”

&ask-god-of-sex;

“You are merely reinforcing what I am saying. You didn’t say that Asgardians were not humans, only that we were not people. Which is highly rude. We are a more advanced people than you anyday.” He scoffed arrogantly, checking his nails

      “For such an ‘advanced being’…. you don’t            seem to listen very well.” Jemma sighed, trying           to change her angle. “People, is a synonym for         h u m a n s in our language. I never said           anything about your advancement level.”

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“You are merely reinforcing what I am saying. You didn’t say that Asgardians were not humans, only that we were not people. Which is highly rude. We are a more advanced people than you anyday.” He scoffed arrogantly, checking his nails

&ask-god-of-sex;

“I’m sorry, did you just imply that, simply because we come from a higher realm than yours, that Asgardians are not a people? I should have your head for that, Simmons.”

       “No, I   I m p l i e d  that because you             are not of this earth, you are not a person,                      in the sense that Midgardians are not Asgardians.             I simply said you are not a human. ——            Which is the truth last I checked”

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@bioxchemist

“I’m sorry, did you just imply that, simply because we come from a higher realm than yours, that Asgardians are not a people? I should have your head for that, Simmons.”

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would you fucking REBLOG this if you are a marvel indie rp blog

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Height Difference AUs

1. “I’m in a bookshop and I really need that book can you get it for me??? Wait you’ve read that book? let’s have an in depth conversation about it.”

2. “You were trying to reach for a box of cereal and a whole shelf’s-worth of cereal boxes fell on you here let me help”

3. “We’re both baristas and sometimes I have trouble reaching for things and I show up to work one day to find a personalized stool with hearts and my name on it i hATE YOU but also thanks”

4. “You are very tall and I am very short so you run into me all the time and honestly this is getting ridiculous”

5. I’m in art class and I just opened a cupboard to find a tiny person (you) squished inside and you just looked at and said “shh i’m hiding”

6. “We’re on the bus and I’m really not trying to take up your space I’m sorry I just have rlly rlly long legs” 

7. We’re at a concert and I can’t see a thing let me sit on your shoulders, maybe?” 

8. “You’re afraid that you’ll lose me in big crowds so you always hold my hand but now you just hold my hand when there’s only, like, five people around and I’m getting vry suspicious” 

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Assassin's Creed {Sentence Starters}

"I don't care. It's not approval I'm after, just power."

"You need a more creative outlet."

"How can I regret the only life I have ever known?"

"Life is not a fairy tale and there are no happy endings."

"You'd kill people simply for believing differently from you?"

"I feel many things. Nausea above all."

"Unless the legend is a lie, you are the man I long to meet."

"Your schemes, like you, are put to rest."

"I've waited too long, lost too much."

"I've always had a soft spot for women in distress."

"They want me dead. Me! Can you imagine?"

"I expect an apology on my return."

"I hope there is another life after this one."

"Don't save me a spot in hell. I ain't coming soon."

"Oh no, God forbid I take a break!"

"Can you lend a hand? Perhaps a blade?"

"I have seen what comes of those who raise themselves above others."

"Why? Why have you done this?!"

"I applied my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly."

"The people never have the power, only the illusion of it."

"You'll pay for this. You and all your kind."

"You will be remembered first as a hero. Later as a legend."

"Is this my reward for believing the best about men?"

"Aside from the failure and the hatred, I envy you very much."

"There is no time. I will have to chance direct approach."

"Are you not loved at home?"

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ITS LATE AND I’M V TIRED BUT HERE ARE SOME MORE AUs

“wtf you’re not my roommate, how did you get in here? oh sHIT you’re really drunk aND NOW YOU’RE CRYING OKay okay it’s okay shhhh, you can stay here i guess??” au 

“mY CHIPS WOULDN’T COME OUT THE VENDING MACHINE AND I GOT MAD AND TRIED TO GRAB IT BUT NOW MY HAND’S STUCK AND PLS STOP LAUGHING AT ME THIS IS V SERIOUS IM GOIG TO CRy” au

“yes, i know this is a bar but you’re a rlly hot bartender and i panicked and said “cHOCOLATE MILK” when you asked me what i wanted to drink, now i just want to crawl away and hide forever” au

“idk you but i also know nothing about camping and ur the only other person i’ve seen here will you help me i think i heard a bear” au

“thats the third fucking toy you’ve played with and didn’t know how to turn off in my store pls don’t just try to awkwardly walk away i cAN SEE YOU” au

“i wanted to give you a warm welcome to the neighbourhood by baking you a cake but turns out you’re hella allergic to something i put in and yOU LOOK LIKE YOU’RE ABOUT TO DIE HOLY SHIT I FEEL HORRIBLE” au

“idk you but you fell asleep on my shoulder on the bus and the only reason i’m letting you stay there is bc you look very comfy and i’m a good person - it’s totally not bc you’re also possibly the cutest and most precious human being i have ever seen hahah okay maybe a lil” au

“i lost my little brother at the grocery store and you found him and now it seems like you two are best friends and he doesn’t wanna lose contact with you so it seems like i’ll have to get your number - at least your hella cute” au 

“your best friend and my best friend think we’d be really cute together and keep trying to set us up i am so sorry” au

“i forgot my umbrella and you offered to walk me home in the rain and i thought this would be the beginning of a cute love story but you’re really shit at this oh my god my shoulder is so wet, hold the damn thing properly wth man” au 

“hOOOoooOo shit, so you’re the older sibling my best friend always talks about hahah wow tHEY NEVER BOTHERED TELLING ME YOU WERE THIS HOT” au

“my friend thought you were cute so she tried to take a picture of you for snapchat and her flash went off but when you looked our way she shoved her phone into my hands and nOW YOU THINK IT’S ME AND OH GOD PLS DON’T BE MAD” au

[ask-god-of-sex]

more aus to consider

"you fell asleep on my shoulder on the flight but it’s okay because you smelled nice and I was cold anyway" au

"I was the poor loser you lent your umbrella to yesterday, my cat scratched the fabric open and i’m so sorry" au

"I’m low on cash but I really need some food from this vending machine, could i trouble you for a dollar?" au

"We were partnered together for this project and we both forgot to do it, now we have to pull an all-nighter at my house" au

"The bus broke down near your house, I know we’re not super close but I live three miles away and this storm is horrible, can i stay over?" au

"I came to the Halloween party as Frankenstein and you came as Frankenstein’s Bride, now everyone thinks we’re dates" au

"You probably don’t remember but you saved me from some bullies once in middle school and god damn it every year you just get hotter" au

"I was rehearsing lines for the romantic lead and I didn’t see you through that window, I had no idea that YOU were playing my romantic interest and now I can’t remember a single line" au

"I know this is awkward, my friend saw that I was alone at the dance and they pulled you over to dance with me and I’m sorry" au

"I’m a photography student and the light was just shining off your hair so perfectly I just HAD to take a picture and now you’ve found it online, I’m in trouble now" au

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oh god royal aus

“your country’s trying to take over/annex my country and you’re making it difficult to hate you because you’re so nice and attractive stop it” au

“we’ve been engaged to be married since we were three but this is the first time we’ve met and your portraits really don’t do you justice” au

“i’m a prince/ss and you’re a servant and we’re not supposed to hang out but we’re gonna fall in love anyways” au

“i’m a prince/ss and you’re my bodyguard and we’re so not supposed to bang but we kind of did anyways” au (bonus: limo sex is great sex)

princess diaries style “i grew up not knowing i was royal and suddenly my royal grandparent showed up out of nowhere and told me i was so now i guess i’m the heir to the throne and you’re my crush from my pre-royal days but i still have a crush on you” au

alternately, “i grew up not knowing i was royal and now i guess i’m heir to a throne and you’re the guy who’s supposed to be teaching me how to be royal bc i suck at it and oops we made out” au

"i’m a prince/ss from a small country nobody’s heard of and i’m in college pretending not to be royal and you’re another student who’s always calling me out on my bs” au

“my country’s going through some issues so i’m here in hiding and you’re a civilian who lives in the same apartment complex as me” au

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“..I see.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair

ANDROID AU, OPEN RP

[ask-god-of-sex]

Photo taken by Greyloch