ask-ozai

[ask-ozai]

I complained about it being too cold. As usual, you only hear what suits you.

Father just complained about his cell being too hot, lmao, wait until you go to hell.

[ask-ozai]

Hello your fireyness! What were you thinking when three random children insulted you right after you lost your bending?

My memories of that moment are hazy. I think I remember it was the Water Tribe soldier, a Kyoshi warrior, and Zuko's current Minister of Economy, that short girl who looks like a badger toad. I think my first thought was that the badger toad little girl probably didn't use shampoo. Her hair was all wrong.

[ask-ozai]

Fire lord Ozai, what would you think if Zuko dated one of the water tribe siblings who defeated you?

Nothing surprises me about Zuko. He's spent too much time with Iroh and no longer cares about the dishonor of indulging in peasants. He must think he has the right to force anyone into an intimate relationship with him, even against their will. At least he's not going after the maids (for now). The fact that his targets are the foreign terrorists who aided him in his coup only further highlights his complete lack of morals.

[ask-ozai]

You ever think Ursa was just funnier than you? I get it, a lack of an unchecked sense of humor is good in a ruler as it makes you more serious and less likely to be distracted by simple, little things, but Michi with a banana killed me a little. That is Peak Comedy.

I have to admit that Ursa's sense of humor is one of the things that always set her apart from everyone else I have ever met. Ursa could say the most hilarious things without warning (I guess nonbenders must develop other skills to survive). She would say things like, "Ozai, don't burn that man," "Azula, don't stab the nanny," "Zuko, you can't eat nuts, you're allergic." Sadly, humor doesn't win wars (although it might not have been a bad idea to send her to Omashu. King Bumi would have died of laughter), but no one can deny that it was impossible to get bored with Ursa.

I'm not entirely sure the banana thing was a joke, though. I once saw Michi kill someone with a pickle.

[ask-ozai]

Who do you find more attractive? Michi or Ursa? Have you ever cheated on Ursa while you were still married to her? I know Ursa probably cheated on you emotionally!

I was raised to be a perfect prince and never go against the honor of the royal family, so no, I never broke the honor of my marriage or pursued any woman other than my lawful wife. I wish I could say the same about said wife, who has lost all decorum and doesn't hesitate to rub her affair with the stinking peasant in society's face, even though we are still married. And we will remain married. Forever, as our marriage vows demand. Zuko may have legalized divorce to get revenge on me, but that will never happen. Ikea the Stinking Peasant is going to have to come and kill me if he wants to be rid of me. If he has finally found a sword that isn't made of wood.

You see, I deeply detest hypocrisy. When I was young, I had to endure Iroh chasing after all the maids even though he was fully aware it wasn't honorable. I'm not like Iroh. A maid's job is to clean up (and occasionally dodge Azula's fireballs), not waste time on amorous dalliances. A Fire Nation prince should be focused solely on winning the war.

However, you mentioned Michi. My destiny was always to marry Ursa, but in another world, things might have been different. I was truly tempted to court her in my youth; no one can deny that she would have made a perfect wife.

And yes, she always had that same unusual, sharp beauty. Her daughter bears a striking resemblance to her. Zuko must be completely out of his mind (more than I suspected) to allow Michi's daughter to leave him.

[ask-ozai]

You warned Ursa that you will kill both zuko and Azula if Ursa ever dared to come back to the palace after her banishment (According to the Search Comics) ! Did you really mean it?

Ursa takes everything personally and is prone to exaggerate. I wouldn't trust anything she says. Azula is a prodigy, a loyal daughter and the pride of the nation, she would never give me reasons.

Zuko must be spreading propaganda again.

[ask-ozai]

quick question: did you invent gaslighting?

Enlightening by gas was invented in ancient times by firebenders to help nonbenders to see in the dark. It was a secret until recently. Everyone believed Sozin invented it for decades, after inventing the sun and stars.

[ask-ozai]

How would you feel if you knew Zuko's grandson was named after Iroh?

I would feel pity for the child, but I wouldn't be surprised. After all, we are talking about Zuko. Zuko shouldn't be allowed to take decisions about what's best for the children under his care.

[ask-ozai]

do you, zuko, or azula like my little pony at all

rarity is hot you’d like her

Since you are a complete stranger, it should be evident that I have never seen any of the animals you own in my entire life. I ignore the quality of your ponies (or their size).

I neither want to, after seeing you describe what I can only assume it's a pony named Rarity as 'hot'. I do not agree with your assumption.

You should try in Ba Sing Se. Everyone knows King Kuei has a sick relationship with his bear.

[ask-ozai]

Phoenix King Ozai, since you were deposed, a small order of your supporters have been surviving in the mountains west of Caldera City, armed, well-fed and ready to fight in your name. They will descend the mountains and attack the capital on your command, delivered by a capable Firebender. Most of them are non-benders armed with rifles and sabres, though the eldest among them seem to be firebenders.

What is our next course of action, My liege?

Ukano I know it's you. My orders for you are to stop fooling around and put Michi in charge. You will just set yourself on fire by accident. Again.

[ask-ozai]

Hello esteemed sir, may you do me a favour with giving an answer. How much time have passed from your proposal to your wedding?

Counting the travel to the capital and the preparations, it took about nine and a half hours.

My father was in a hurry, in case anyone changed their mind (Not me, I was a loyal son and always obeyed his every order without question, but we weren't exactly sure Ursa wouldn't try to run away with that ridiculous peasant whose name begins with I). Everything happened so fast that there wasn't even time for Ursa to take a proper bath. My most vivid memory of my wedding is having to hold my breath for minutes on end because my soon-to-be-wife smelled like mud.

Later that day, Iroh asked me why my face was so pale. Knowing him, he probably thought I was having bad thoughts. I was simply holding my breath.

[ask-ozai]

Have you chosen a husband for your daughter?

If not, what are your conditions ?

It's unrealistic how difficult it would be to marry Azula off. As a general rule, a good strategic marriage requires a suitor with both a strong personality and an acceptable social position. In Zuko's Fire Nation the options are limited. It is not easy to accept that if Azula ever wishes to marry, her only options available will be suitors below her. Just like what happened to me (see: Ursa).

However, all responsibility for finding a good suitor for Azula fell on Zuko since he orchestrated this coup. Can you imagine Zuko trying to arrange a date for his sister? He doesn't have the willpower, so he preferred to send her to a madhouse.

[ask-ozai]

Who stole my old school photographs?

— “she looks like the real thing / she tastes like the real thing.”

@atlararepairmonth , week two, prompt: Musical Instruments & Poetry

Pairing: (teenage) Michi / Ozai

horrible teenage goth posers who steal from small businesses and candy from babies

[ask-ozai]

I'm gonna say it, live-action Ozai > cartoon Ozai.

[ask-ozai]

I wasn't crying something got into my eyes

[ask-ozai]

what are they talking about? wrong answers only

[ask-ozai]

I lost Zhao, I need a new Admiral

what are they talking about? wrong answers only