ask-the-badman

[ask-the-badman]

Would you stop killing if you fell head over heels in love? (It doesn't have to be her/him as a victim. Just an ordinary person from your town.) Would you do anything to him/her? (Bad in English, sry ^^)

All good darlin', I got the jist'a what yer askin'.

But ta be honest I'd have ta say no. Even if I fell madly, deeply in love with someone they'd have ta accept that I also love killin' an' I doubt they'd be all that acceptin'a what I do plus all that comes with the territory. Not jus' the cannibalism part or that my Family's a lil.. 'special', but, y'know, Family first.

[ask-the-badman]

"Alright.. um... well here, feel free to look through it!"

*I hand him my sketchbook eagerly, overjoyed at the idea of getting to share my art with someone else. However, that joy quickly turns to embarrassment and horror as he reaches a portion of the sketchbook where i might have done a few sketches of him before I even approached him the previous day!*

"Um... just ignore those... I um... I hope that doesn't come off as creepy or anything... I just.. I um... forgot that I had done those and that they were in there..."

-💚

Johnny took his time going through Stella's art book, humming softly over each piece before coming across himself before any sunflowers. A Cheshire grin curled his lips, amused and maybe even a little flattered she had been watching him from afar. Catching him mid cigarette break from the few sketches of him before he moved on to the sunflower fields.

"These are nice, I enjoy the sunflower fields each year they grow an' you've captured their likeness perfectly on paper. I'm impressed, I may have ta steal one of these from ya." He praised, genuinely impressed, "Maybe make a trade fer drawin' me all up close an' personal~"

[ask-the-badman]

I’m craving man attention so badly I just want you Johnny 💔

I also just started my period so I’m not doing so well with cramps and sore boobs and back pain, what ever the hell else but fuck man I really just need some male attention right now, this menstruation is fucking me up

Heh, some 'man attention', huh? Y'jus' need some big ol' man hands rubbin' away all thems aches an' pains, hm? Maybe a lil cuddlin' an' some chocolate on the side, get'cha nice an' cozy~?

Mm, I could do that fer ya darlin'. Might snag a few chocolates fer myself, but I'm sure ya won' mind. Long as I'm takin' good care'a ya~

[ask-the-badman]

Yeah I know he'd probably hate it but imagine Johnny as a 9-5 guy. In a dress shirt and tie, I think i'd faint.

White dress shirt, tie, an' maybe a pair'a small black framed glasses... Ugh, I'd still hate how borin' that kind'a life would be.

[ask-the-badman]

*licks your face*

Aw, how cute, I think they like me~

[ask-the-badman]

How do you think your life would have been if Nancy had never kidnapped you?

Hmm.. I'd probably have some borin' nine ta five pencil pusher job. Or maybe as a mechanic, can' complain about that'un.

[ask-the-badman]

"Mmm~ meataroni sounds good right now" Rena started to drool over the food but quickly stopped "sorry about that, anyways ever thought of having a spine collection?" She asked him

"Sure does." Johnny hummed in agreement though had to raise his brow at her question, "Spine collection? Not sure what ya mean by that."

[ask-the-badman]

Give me some advice so I can get Bubba to like me and marry me. <3 Please tell him I love him.

Here's how ya get big boy ta like ya.

Now get yerself some barbecue rub or sauce, something smoky or apple wood. It's his favorite. Then ya jus' slather it all over yerself, make sure ta apply it everywhere, an' when yer done jus' present yerself ta him. He'll love it, trust me~

That or bring him some make up, the boy loves that shit too.

[ask-the-badman]

EAT ME UPPPPPGFFGFSGH

Alright alright, settle down. I'll get ta ya soon enough~

[ask-the-badman]

I have the one and only 24k gold Johbewbew

A twenty four karat gold what now??

[ask-the-badman]

"Yer gonna be a dead one soon if ya don' start talkin'!" Johnny warned, getting right up in the man's face with the scalpel still in his shaking hand. Freaked out over what was happening but hopefully getting answers soon, "Where are we?? What the hell is this place an' why the hell are we robots!?"

(Here’s another shitpost once again cause Gun’s closing down shop for TCM. Take a shot if you can guess what this is a reference to)

We cut to Johnny and the rest of the family at dinner, they had just caught some weird lookin trespassers. Out of towners probably. As they’re eating Nubbins began to act weird… he began to shake more than normal, then for some weird reason smoke began to come out of his ears! The rest of the family ate like nothing was happening! Nubbins continued to shake until He hit his head on the table and passed out! After that moment, Everyone at the table began to “Shut Down”, then Johnny did as well…

We then see Nubbins on an Operating table, His Stomach was cut open and there were wires in it! We see two people In White scrubs doing some work on Hitch

“Goddamnit, The Hitchhiker got too much Blood in his Circuitry. It’s gonna be a week before we can order new parts…”

“Wait it’s real Blood?!”

“Nah, Just some Fake Blood from some Special Effects studio out in El Paso.”

“Oh… wait that doesn’t explain why he smells like Ass and sweat.”

“He’s basically rolling around in mud, Blood, and Roadkill twenty four seven, how’d you think he’d smell?”

“Fair point, either way I’m hungry… let’s get some lunch…”

The two people in scrubs left the room, as they left the guy working on Hitch set down a pair of heavy duty pliers on a shelf, after they left and shut the door the pliers fell down and hit Johnny! After the pliers hit Johnny’s head he came to life!

"...Ow." Johnny murmured while slowly blinking and rubbing his clunked head. Slowly he moved to sit up, hand still on his head before looking around and falling off the table at seeing Hitch gutted on the table next time.

"Gah- Gawd damn it..!"

Not only did his head hurt, but so did his rear from landing on it as he slowly pushed himself up off the ground on his knees to peek over the sterile table he was just on to look at the other. His brows furrowed, though he wasn't too torn up that Hitch was dead...

Hell, he expected the man to be dead long ago.. hit by a semi or something stupid while out on the road.

Still, something didn't seem right. It stunk, sure, but not like... normal death. This just smelled like the twitchy man's normal road kill scent. So he slowly stood up for a better look and was stunned to see wires come out of their stomach.

"The hell did you eat??"

He moved around to get a closer look but was soon stuck in place at seeing just what was going inside of them. Jaw dropped he was so stunned.

Hitch was a robot!?

(I have no idea what this is from, oof. I'm not much for the sci-fi horrors, if this is even one, more of a Slasher fan~ But the concept is interesting so far, would like to see where this goes.)

[ask-the-badman]

In a sudden jolt, Olivia felt herself flipped over by the much stronger man, hair splayed behind her in the grass as she felt the presence of his broad body hovering over hers. She felt trapped, small in his presence. Her chest heaving as her hand that was placed above her head wriggled its fingers. Her eyes fluttering up to his, seeing his face twisted in that almost sadistic look. She felt the grip tighten around her wrist that was placed above her head, grounded. She yanked a bit at the hand that was holding her wrist to see if he’d loosen his grip, chuckling at his statement.

Her hips writhed underneath his hovered body over hers, the smell of both of their sweat filling the air between them. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t aroused, him having her like this in a display of his own power.

“All of a sudden that pink shirt got you actin’ a little sassy now, Johnny. Look at you, having me like this underneath you because you couldn’t take a woman that was ready to get what she wanted when she was sitting on that pretty lap of yours. I had that power, and it felt so good.” She spoke in a deliberate tone, her free hand dipping down to the wound on her leg, almost in an achingly slow manner as her eyes steadied on his— bringing her bloodied fingers back up to where she smeared them against his cheek, then on his lips, down to his neck.

“You look so sexy with my blood on you. You wear it so well.” She purred, traveling her hand to the back of his neck where it rested.

"'Sassy', ain' the word I'd use fer this." Johnny chuckled maliciously before nipping her cheek then pulling away.

Just in time to feel those wet fingers drag over his cheek, his body bristling to their touch before it slid down to his lips and down his jaw to his throat. He didn't even have to lick his lips, the scent of iron alone was all he needed to recognize what had been smeared on him. Which had his nostrils flaring and eyes narrowing hungrily.

"I could wear more, or all of it on me.." He said with a lick of his lips, finally getting a small taste of her blood on his pallet.

[ask-the-badman]

“Hmm?…Sissy sunshine slaughter?…never quite heard a name like that one before…you got any other siblings?…”

*she shrugs then claps*

“Great, I’m comin with, let’s go.”

*as she is placed in the cart she looks around until he stops infront of the fruits and vegetables*

“?…hmmm yeaaa! Get some fruit, apple and strawberries are always amazing :D

And hey! You don’t gotta leave em to rot! You can always ask me and I’ll wash the apple..or peel it if you don’t like the skin”

*she shrugs again and looks up at Johnny then at the fruits them johnny*

“You need the healthy stuff big hunky Texas man, you must eat. So eat.” - brat

"Nah, jus' a few uncles an' a distant cousin that don' come 'round too often no more." Johnny answered while bagging a few apples then handing them to brat to place in the cart along with a decent looking pack of strawberries.

Though ate one first, quality test and all that.

"Hmm, yeah, suppose these are good. Could cut 'em up in a bowl'a milk or cream with some sugar." He hummed while pushing his buggy around the small store.

Walking past the meat and cheese, he did have a glance into the glass displaying thick slabs of varying meats ready to be sliced for whatever was needed. Sandwiches, stews, steaks... It was tempting but Drayton was a damned stickler when it came to where the Family got their 'meat'. Didn't mean he couldn't look though as they walked by.

"Hmm.. what else did I need? Bread? Bakery is comin' up, you got any recommendations, short stuff?"

[ask-the-badman]

Rena let her arms down. "sorry..."she looked away quickly as she saw this conversation getting uncomfortable "hmm let's talk about food, what's your favorite food? Mines are fries..." She changed the subject fast

Johnny scratched his side burn idly at the question, lips pursing in thought before answering with, "That's a tough one, I like a lot'a foods. Mostly pastas with meat, cheese, tomato base an' plenty'a noodles in it. Hmm.. would have ta say meataroni would be my favorite."

[ask-the-badman]

My jaw clenches as the man who I can only presume to be who Sissy had mentioned earlier struts into the old barn with a wolfish grin plastered onto his surprisingly handsome face. Making me shift uncomfortably as he began to stalk forward, the broken wood protruding from the broom stick digging into the underneath of my thigh now. Nerves on edge but trying my damndest to stay calm and collected.

“And you must be Johnny.” I said mockingly. A sneer forming at the corners of my mouth. Already I could tell how this was gonna go or at least how he expected it too, but I have other plans that certainly do not involve the look that his eyes entail. Hunger, lust, and hunger again.

“Kat”, I said flatly. Nose crinkling up in repulsion when his gloved hand grabbed at my jaw, plush lips pushed into a soft pout as he turned my head from side to side. I could smell his cologne and a hint of sweat with how close he was to me now, the scent heavy in my nostrils as I swallowed thickly looking up at him through mascara stained lashes. Blue eyes blown wide.

“Why? You trying to be next?” I cooed. My hand wrapping around his wrist instinctively yanking my face from his grasp. Moving back just an inch to have some leverage, shimmying the broomstick closer to my hand underneath the blanket. Gaze never leaving his as I tilted my head slightly, feigning admiration like a love struck loser to subtly distract him though I had no idea how long that would last.

I could tell he was a killer. Could feel it as his cold eyes stared back at mine. That southern charm only going so far as to cover up the darkness that lurked within. But what fun would this be without a little cat and mouse?

Cute, she already knows who I am. More than likely thanks to Sissy, that was fine though. Less time to waste on formal introductions. Johnny mused, rather liking her defiance. And her name, Kat, simple and easy to remember. Not that he figured she would last long, not around here. Not with him.

Even if she killed someone, supposedly.

"Darlin'.. I'd like ta see ya try~" He crooned, leaning in to lick at the dried blood on her face only for her to pull away before he could.

A little growl rumbled in the back of his throat, yet he was still grinning away without a single change in expression. No anger or annoyance at her resistance, just amusement and hunger in his dark eyes. He's played with many before, this wouldn't put him out so easily. If anything, he liked it when they had a little spice in them.

All the more fun when all that fire was snuffed out.

"Hell, I would have loved ta seen the reason yer covered near head ta toe in another man's blood 'cuz lookin' at ya now... I don' see a killer." He stated quietly yet with a deep bass to his voice as he stared right into her wide blues, "Lookin' inta yer eyes... I see that was a one time deal, y'ain' got it in ya ta do it again like Sissy 'thinks' ya kin."

He crowded in closer to Kat with big gloved hands slapped down on the bed on both sides of her and leaning in so close their noses were nearly touching as he continued, "I wouldn' bother anyways, pretty lil thing like you s'got better... 'uses' anyways."

In one swift motion, he was roughly pressing his lips to hers without warning and any attempts to pull away was quickly remedied with one of his hands grabbing up a fist full of her hair. Forcing her to stay in place and take his harsh affection of lips, tongue, and teeth biting at her blood stained lips.

[ask-the-badman]

can u eat me(´ . .̫ . `)

I would love too, darlin'~

[ask-the-badman]

It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

Oh shit, when did this happen?? July 8th, yesterday, damn, well it's been a pretty fun year of roleplaying the Badman Johnny. Hopefully many more to come, but thank you all for the asks, roleplays, likes, reblogs, and just hanging out. Wouldn't have much of a RP blog without you all. ♥

Also bonus celebration, but I hit 100 followers recently as well! So thank you thank you thank you! ♥♥♥