askalexandeleutherius - Tumblr blog

[askalexandeleutherius]

-slaps my brain- Compartmentalize, time!

[askalexandeleutherius]

not related to friend, but there are certain things that just... people say them and i shut down from them. Like some sort of triggered state where I vaguely feel threatened, maybe reminiscent of memories long ago.

[askalexandeleutherius]

i platonically love my friend so much. I have nowhere else socially acceptable to scream about it so i will type it here, into the void, so that i will not be perceived.

[askalexandeleutherius]

i wish i could tell my squish all the reasons i like them so intensely. maybe one day.

They have so many creative ideas that I love hearing/reading

They are warm, just the warmth of their personality

They are so invested in and passionate about what they like and what they do

They are so good with boundaries and direct communication

Being around them (even though it's online) just feels so peaceful and relaxing and when we're hanging out I never want it to end, I have to make myself have an end time

They go out of their way to spend time with me

They have such a bright personality (and I want to make sure they get to keep all their brightness and warmth and I want to protect them)

Oh and also my kiddo was able to sense that they were good too, and really liked them instantly

[askalexandeleutherius]

AHHHHH my squish loves me like a friend, too! ^_^ <3 <3 <3

[askalexandeleutherius]

wish there was a platonic version of kissing. more close than hugs but with no romantic connotation.

[askalexandeleutherius]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I just want to do good things to you and for you, and to make you feel like all the parts of you can be looked at and loved and accepted

I want you to know I love even the parts of you that you think are unlovable

I want to just rest together, sharing space

You are probably one of the few people it would actually give me a positive sensation to touch (which is saying a lot, because my touch aversion is strong)

I want to hug you warmly for a long time

I could just so easily spend all day every day near you sharing space and being quiet together while we work on separate things, and be comforted by the physical proximity (which also says a lot, because usually it's hard to relax around others, it feels like the silence will be suddenly disturbed in a jarring way)

I want to make you feel so valued and appreciated

and I want to make you know you are so deserving and worthy so that you love who you are and never again feel like you have to change yourself

[askalexandeleutherius]

I totally do NOT have a huge squish on my friend 👀

[askalexandeleutherius]

.Me thinking I was untouchable for not feeling romantic or sexual attraction, just for platonic attraction to repeatedly and oftentimes kick my ass.

[askalexandeleutherius]

do you ever have a squish so intense that you're like "i would blow up the moon for you if you asked" or do I just have no chill

[askalexandeleutherius]

Unstoppable Force: being touch starved

vs.

Immovable Object: being touch repulsed

[askalexandeleutherius]

me, unprompted: (goes on at great length about something im extremely into for an absolutely disproportionate amount of time)

me afterwards, realizing what I’ve done: and by the way im sorry im alive

[askalexandeleutherius]

[askalexandeleutherius]

You know that episode of Spongebob Squarepants where Spongebob makes one small mistake and then just starts chanting, “SOILED IT” over and over again? That’s what it’s like to have anxiety.

[askalexandeleutherius]

“Just trust your gut”

Pal I have anxiety, my gut is literally always telling me to abort mission

[askalexandeleutherius]

what anxiety is like

well! the fears start coming and they don’t stop coming and they don’t stop coming and they don’t stop coming and they don’t stop coming and they don’t stop co

[askalexandeleutherius]

falling for him wasn’t falling at all. it was walking into a house and suddenly knowing you’re home.

r.i.d (via jensenacklezs)