askguardianhiro

[askguardianhiro]

SAGE IS HERE TO GIVE HIS BESTEST, COOLEST, GREATEST BUDDY IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD a big ole tub of ice cream wrapped in a bow along with a classic red santa hat ( promptly tucked onto the other's head ) to get into the holiday spirit.

He’s panicking, but he offers his tub of Extra Special Deluxe Limited Edition Christmas Ice Cream to Sage as a present in return. He even put a card on top of the tub, and although it’s definitely illegible and the drawings may be somewhat monstrous, he spent an hour on it! It’s even got colour!

But he’s panicking too much to say anything other than “i-ice cream”!

[askguardianhiro]

❝Let’s never speak of this again.❞ -Shu @ Choi

He tempts lawsuit. Hardly for the money, ( which, between the two of them, there was plenty enough of, ) but for the one-sided struggle and the petty effect of it all. A moment passes with the heavy, gilded pen in his hand and he even tempts murder; it couldn’t be counted as manslaughter if he had simply put an end to an otherwise miserable creature, whose extermination would better the earth if not the galaxy as a whole. ‘ Never speak of this again ‘ - He doesn’t even want to speak of it now. Doesn’t want to think about it, doesn’t want to consider, - even for a half second, - what was ever going through this ice cream maniac’s mind.

Mung panting oblivious in the korean’s lap, the pen is set down and he leans back into this seat, hands rubbing at his temples, slow nods far more than weary.

“ …Don’t lick my dog ever again, and we won’t have to talk about it. “

[askguardianhiro]

❝Please tell me you haven’t done what I think you’ve done…❞ -Shu @ Kale

She shrugs, because she doesn’t have to say anything. The room speaks for itself: clothes picked up, all fresh-laundered, once-scattered books rearranged in alphabetical order, carpet vacuumed and hot-steamed, evidence of ice cream ( and the guy’s own gross slobbiness ) thoroughly removed along with every game wiped and settled back into its proper case. Just because the guy was a pig, it didn’t mean he had to live like one, and beaming with her own particular amount of pride, she walks over unfazed by his own apparent lack of enthusiasm.

“ I cleaned everything from top to bottom while you were out with Sergie. Now this place almost looks hospitable, don’t you think? “  That warm feeling in her gut meant she was feeling generous today and shifting from hands-on-her-hips to the supposed legend’s shoulders for a kindly massage is an easy transition to make.  “ You don’t even have to thank me. I know you’re not that type of person. But, if you say something stupid like, ‘Oh, Kale! I’ll never be able to find anything anymore! ‘ then I’ll twist your arm and send you right out the window from where I’m standing. “

Massage turns to a single-shoulder pat, then hot pink nails gracing his cheek - lips purse in a smile and her palm pats him twice.  ( The room would last a day, even less then, she knows. )

[askguardianhiro]

❝…It’s technically edible…❞ -Shu @ Dale (shu's probably eyeing a dropped ice cream or something GOD SHU)

as was anything down to a wild animal’s feces, though that hardly meant it should have been eaten. demon’s gaze is drawn over to the spilled child’s dessert, fallen mess abandoned in a fit of tears, mother dragging the young thing back in the other direction for likely a remedying another. the spoiled food in itself is nothing he thinks of - wealth was meant for extravagance and the floor of the earth itself was the lowest point of luxury a peon could consign themselves to without stepping into a grave.

that all being said, the cross-armed demon is hardly impressed.

“ I’ve seen dogs with finer palettes and better manners than yours. “  a pause of unfortunately honest truth, a tit-tat shake of his crossed-over foot towards the mess, and a finishing, halfhearted tsk-tsk meant for mock concern. indeed, perhaps a dog might have been more intelligent than this sweetened oaf good for nothing save his own saccharine blood; an ichor those with far more spoiled tastes might have taken to. ( and such was the truth of the little pet. his blood was meant for vials and the simpler tastes who would drink of him. )

hand waves the other off and the demon thinks nothing of the unnecessary comment. “ Vas-y, mon chien. lap it up from the sidewalk, then. i’m sure you have little quarrel with the request, not at the heart of things. i do know you want to. “

[askguardianhiro]

❝What’s your take on bigger boobs?❞ -KIRIN @ KEI

smirk cocks higher with a chuckle and he knows they’re in for a spot of philosophy; the birds and the (boo)bees, the fly-trap and bear trap discussion of the breasted world. if they were talking takes, then he had to have been a director - no cuts, all commentary, in all of broadway’s lights-camera-action.

“ i’ll tell ya what i think. i think, s’all titty-to-boob ratio, bud. to tell ya the truth, i’m fine with ‘em hand-sized. ya know? just grabbing a handful of mammary. anymore n’ i feel too small. can’t satisfy ‘em. rest goes into the ass, s’okay. d’rather have a girl with a bigger ass than a mammoth chest, but that’s just me. “

to each their own, long as the goods were properly appreciated, then all was still right in the world.  “ sides, s’bout what the chick’s fine with. i don’t want ‘em complainin’ about back problems, yeah? ain’t like i ever had a pair myself, but i can tell they’re goin’a get in the way sometimes. “  which made it all the better for his favorite line - ’ can i hold those for you? ‘

[askguardianhiro]

“Do you ever just ask for ice cream and some kid glares at you and asks who you, the best and coolest soccer Legend ever, are? I hate kids. It wasn’t like I asked ‘do I was strawberry or cheese’ this time.”

[askguardianhiro]

“Yay! Yay! Circus show and tricks! Circuses really are the best!”

[askguardianhiro]

((response to shu vs response to hiro is mood rn))

[askguardianhiro]

"Hey, you. I'm lost and I dunno where to get some ice cream. Tell me where to get some ice cream!" -Shu

Starry crimsons stare upwards - glance downwards, - greet the other’s gaze ( and demands ) with nothing more than an unflinching silence. The torn-up-and-stitched-back-together puppet dangles limply from its strings; Mr.Snips and his pair of golden shears, the closed tip still gleaming. There isn’t much to say to strangers, that much anybody knew - and opting to ignore the other’s question, the boy instead gets right to the point of things.

“ …Who are you? “

[askguardianhiro]

"Um! Hello, Mister! I heard that there's gonna be a really cool circus show here later! Is it true?" -Hiro

Precious boy! There was only one Circo circus and a waiting audience for it was sweet music to the ringleader’s ears. Kindly smile stretches from ear to ear and his very own pierrot waves out a hello; subtly nods in the cradle of the clown’s arm and elbow.

“ It certainly is. We’re setting up right now… But if you’d like a few tricks in the meantime, I don’t mind playing with you. “ 

[askguardianhiro]

((BEAR ATTACK CLOWN))

[askguardianhiro]

((SPRINTS BACK AT MAX SPEED TO VOTALIA BLOG AND THEN RUNS OFF TO DO STUDIES))

[askguardianhiro]

❝ You don’t have a clue what we’re doing, do you? You don’t have a clue what we’re doing! ❞ -Hiro whining to Malc

SENTENCE STARTERS | THE APPRENTICE UK

“ Shut up! Sh-Shut up! I absolutely, totally know what I’m doing! “  Or so he says as he balances trembling on the laid-out board, one foot in front of the other, the wood of the abandoned house groaning and creaking just from the force of his own shrill voice. Stealing a glance at the ground had been an awful mistake and raised at least ten feet off of the ground on nothing more than a plank thin enough to demand one foot in front of the other - oh, he’s nervous! But not nearly nervous enough to outmatch the strength of his own frantic pride.

“ If you weren’t so tubby there wouldn’t be any problem! Get off the board before it snaps, dummy! You’ll kill me! I’ll die! “ 

And with that the boy gulps - glances down again, and instinctively body leans to one side, nausea accompanying the dizzying height ( the seemingly approaching floor ) and the splintered pieces down of ruined building down below ‘till he grips and clings to the board with his entire body. So he had lied about walking a tight-rope once before and he had given false instruction in how to walk it! At least that red-headed tomato hadn’t gotten even five feet forwards himself, having fret so much over what shouldn’t have otherwise mattered.

“ I’m already halfway to the other side! Just wait there if you’re so scared, you baby! Nobody’s been in this house for ages and to leave a coffer just gathering dust in a foyer, there’s got to be something worth it - ! “

[askguardianhiro]

❝ Stupid titties and fish… ❞ -Kirin to Kei

SENTENCE STARTERS | THE APPRENTICE UK

A finger weakly lifts in corrective attention.

“ — Fish titties, m’ guy. “

Fish titties, pal. 

From the very beginning, titties on fish had been the grand, end-goal - yet here they were breathless and breastless both. The keeper sits up from his starfish splay on the ground and when he does he finds himself in a puddle made out of his own damp drips. Hands take a hold of his hair and wring it out, wet and saline, not wearing his gloves he doesn’t dare look at the wrinkles pruning his skin up from his soggy experience. 

“ Listen, I thought you said mermaids were gonna try to DROWN US, not try to beat us to death with their tails. I wanted an underwater make-out session. Ya sure you got the right place? “  Yeah, and more importantly, wasn’t it something else that drowned people? If The Little Mermaid was anything to go by, there should’ve been plenty of hot fish chicks rockin’ their titties out, wild and free, hunting for hot drowning guys to rescue with a kiss. ( And, ‘case it wasn’t obvious enough to either of them, they were the hot drowning guys. ) 

“ Can’t call the titties stupid if it was your idea, wise-guy. “ Then again, it couldn’t have been all that impressive to brag about soccer to a bunch of girls that couldn’t play without legs.  “ A’ight, look. It’s my turn for an idea. Here’s what I’m thinkin’: werewolf chicks. “

Grin fires at the other - once you got past the dog part, they had to have been lacking in tops too — a smash or pass?

[askguardianhiro]

❝ There are two types of people in the world: Winners and… I don’t know how to say the word. ❞ -Shu to Choi

SENTENCE STARTERS | THE APPRENTICE UK

“ And yet whatever it might be I’m sure you’re a synonym. “  Brows quirk unimpressed, there’s a sigh etched onto every inch of his features; not that he expects the other to even understand what a synonym was.  “ Listen to yourself. Do you honestly believe you’re part of the first? “

A winner? Sure, maybe, in the same way a gambler hit big and then blew it all within the passing week. Dichotomies were a flawed process that excluded circumstance yet even considering the other’s history, there was no excuse - the only thing the first ( and now obsolete ) ‘ legend ‘ had to his own name was a ten year track of lazy depression.

“ Pfft. Drama queen. “  How was that spiral down to nowhere?  “ There’s a word called atrophy, you know. It means erosion, decay. In case that’s too complicated for your pistachio brain, I’m talking about rot. As in, your motivation over the years, your general intelligence, your personality, and your worth. If the world’s a race then there’s a reason why you’re falling behind and out of popularity. It’s because I’m winning. “

( Not as if making it above this pathetic excuse for a legend was difficult. )

“ You’re a burn out. Get it? The only thing worse than failing to hold any potential is having it and letting it waste away. “  Secondary click of his tongue, he turns, he’s leaving, and he’s leaving Mung to voice his words for him, dog panting and watching patient in his carrier’s bag. “ That’s the difference between you and I. On the scale of things, you don’t even compare. “

[askguardianhiro]

❝ All business…No pleasure at all… ❞ - Shu to Kale while he's doing absolutely nothing in the first place but should be working on some work for school

SENTENCE STARTERS | THE APPRENTICE UK

She’s got her ‘business’ hand right here, and she’s more than willing to ruin her nails if it meant she could carve out all of that whining with a good whack or two.

“ How do you think I feel having to babysit a near-20 year old? “  It’s just a report! It should have been easy! Simple! She had even gone through the trouble of sharing her notes, painstakingly highlighted and annotated, and here he didn’t even want to start on his own paper.  “ I can’t write your own essay for you, you know! “ 

She wants to abstain from violence, ( she really does, ) but the guy had a head made out of diamond and the density of one too. How did Sergie ever put up with him? Her brother with the patience of a saint, stuck with the undeserving, constantly coddling people like this just because he wanted to - “ Seriously, can we talk about what you’re going to do with yourself? You’re always making other people do things for you, and it’s not just because you’re so stupid but because you’re too lazy to get anything done on your own! Sergie’s basically organizing your entire life for you, and you’re not doing anything for him but giving him all that much more trouble! I hate it! Lazy guys like you are the worst! “

All business, no pleasure at all, and even in her own occupations, she had to work hard and dig past a few rotten apples. Tears of sheer frustration prick at the corners of her eyes and staying her hand she instead folds over and collapses to set her head on her knees, helpless.

“ My brother isn’t a charity! Think about him for once! If you can’t even do anything for yourself then at least try so you can give back to him! He seriously cares about you, you know?! “

[askguardianhiro]

❝ My first word wasn’t mummy…It was money! ❞ - Shu to Sage (what th e everloving HECK shu)

SENTENCE STARTERS | THE APPRENTICE UK

“ Eh? Did they make you do that too? “

Olive glance goes to the other though the idol’s fingers are still furiously pressing out a titanic wall of a text on his phone. Today is another sunny-sunny day, if not a busy day for the invisible elves that delivered all of his messages across phone wires - thankfully, for the two friends relaxing on Calia’s bench, their lives were still leisurely. 

“ You’re talking about the birthday fortune telling ceremony. Right? Where you set out a few things and let the baby pick out which one is supposed to be its future? “  They’ve bounced a few topics back and forth in the company of one another and now it had come to this: A pencil, some coins, a toothbrush, a stethoscope, and the solid determination of an infant’s army crawl towards one of them.

“ I didn’t know you did that too…! Kayleigh and I both were too young, I think. We both ended up charging for each other and trying to play instead of picking anything every time! Well, until we were finally separated, at least. “  Though the first act suited them, and afterwards on his lonesome he had tried to eat the pencil - something he laughs at and leaves out. “ Say, were you a cute baby? Do you have any photos? Kayleigh and I have have an entire album back at home I could show you - oh! But if you ask me, I think the money suits you. You can do a lot of nice things with it! Money should be used for good, you know? Once you’re sure you have enough for yourself you should do your best to help others with it! I trust you since you’re one of the best people I know, so once you make it big - be generous, too! “