askjtetch - Tumblr blog

[askjtetch]

What does your tea taste like?

The answer may shock you, dear, but… it tastes like tea.

[askjtetch]

Do you think you'd be a good babysitter?

My dear, you should never sit on a baby.

Aha, but I jest! I suppose if it were a very well behaved child, I could manage, certainly. Otherwise, perhaps not.

I don’t dislike children by any means, but they’re such a terrible handful, aren’t they? Especially these days. Really, I don’t know what they run on but it’s something else, I tell you.

[askjtetch]

Hey Mr Hatter, I know you’ve read the Alice books but have you also read Sylvie and Bruno? If so, would you recommend it? I want to hear from a fellow Lewis Carroll enthusiast

I have, and I loved it!

Sylvie and Bruno is a fantastic book, if I do say so myself. I love anything from the mind of Mr. Carroll, of course, but it really is very good.

I highly recommend it, all in all. Do give it a try, yes?

[askjtetch]

NOT A CHANCE

get in.

That’s either a very large blender, or you believe me to be a very small man. Either way, I think not.

[askjtetch]

Oh dear. Must I?

get in.

That’s either a very large blender, or you believe me to be a very small man. Either way, I think not.

[askjtetch]

I hardly did it on purpose!

If it’s any comfort to you, it was a bastard.

Has anyone ever listened looked to you for magic at kids birthday parties?

You know, it has happened, but not at all recently.

No, strangely enough I’ve only ever been asked to do magic once. This was right back when I was a teenager, mind you, long before my being in Gotham and such.

At the time I had a real love for tricks and illusion. As you can imagine, I didn’t get out much, but I won’t bore you with the details.

To put a rather long and complicated story short I ruined my cousin’s birthday party by setting her guinea pig on fire. Don’t ask.

I’ve not done more than the odd card trick since.

[askjtetch]

Has anyone ever listened looked to you for magic at kids birthday parties?

You know, it has happened, but not at all recently.

No, strangely enough I’ve only ever been asked to do magic once. This was right back when I was a teenager, mind you, long before my being in Gotham and such.

At the time I had a real love for tricks and illusion. As you can imagine, I didn’t get out much, but I won’t bore you with the details.

To put a rather long and complicated story short I ruined my cousin’s birthday party by setting her guinea pig on fire. Don’t ask.

I’ve not done more than the odd card trick since.

[askjtetch]

Anymore of that and I’ll put you in the blender, old boy.

get in.

That’s either a very large blender, or you believe me to be a very small man. Either way, I think not.

[askjtetch]

A FOOTBALL.

I’m not tall by any stretch of the imagination, but I’d like to believe I’m bigger than that.

And really my dear, why would you want to? I hope you don’t plan to boot or throw me.

get in.

That’s either a very large blender, or you believe me to be a very small man. Either way, I think not.

[askjtetch]

get in.

That’s either a very large blender, or you believe me to be a very small man. Either way, I think not.

[askjtetch]

Sooo now that Halloween is (sadly) over, how early is too early to break out the Christmas music and lights in your opinion? I'd say wait till at least midway through December but yknow

My dear fellow, it is never too early for a bit of festivity.

As far I’m concerned, Christmas begins on November 1st at exactly 12am. It’s my favourite holiday, it really is, and I won’t hear a word about that American Thanksgiving nonsense.

Put up the Christmas lights, decorate your tree! Put on your Ella Fitzgerald Christmas album (I have it on vinyl, you know), and get to being holly and jolly!

[askjtetch]

(What’s this? A plate of ‘Eat Me’ biscuits and a note.)

“I’m afraid they won’t alter your size the way authentic Wonderland cookies would. But I hope you enjoy them anyway.

~Happy Halloween! 🎃”

Curiouser and curiouser..

What an unexpected little treat! And for me? How very kind.

I am quite thankful. Enjoy them I certainly shall.

[askjtetch]

Hello Mister Hatter! Hope you have a good Halloween! What are you going to do with yourself on this spooky holiday?

And the same to you!

I won’t be doing much this Halloween, I’m afraid.

If I remember correctly, we’ll be watching a movie or two here in Arkham. A treat for the good patients, I suppose, not that I’ve been particularly good.

The Exorcist, I believe. I do like that one.

[askjtetch]

do you keep any little treats or anything in your hat for special occasions? i mean that’s some pretty decent storage space, like an extra pocket.

You know, I have never once considered such an idea! But it is a very good one..

I can’t say it’s something I normally do, storing things in my hat, but now that you’ve put the idea in my head I’ll surely have to give it a go.

Very innovative, Anon. I like it!

[askjtetch]

Arkhambound or not, I hope you have a happy Halloween, Mr. Tetch. Maybe a fan will sneak you some sweets before the night is out.

Thank you, my dear. I hope you have a happy Halloween yourself.

I should be very lucky, if that did happen. My being snuck some sweets, that is.

The only source of sweets I can get my hands on at the moment is a sad little bowl of candy corn that was put out in the recreation room.. and believe me, they’re not worth it.

[askjtetch]

Happy Halloween, dear friends!

It’s on a day like this I can say I’m actually glad to be stuck here in Arkham. Only just. Whatever horrors The Scarecrow decides to unleash upon Gotham tonight, I am fortunate not to be involved.

But, I wish you all a safe and enjoyable evening nonetheless! Trick or treat, watch a scary film, have a wonderful time!

Try not to get into too much trouble, yes?

[askjtetch]

If you did have children how would you raise them?

Well, I should hope.

I wouldn’t raise them how I was raised, certainly.

I can’t imagine myself as a father, but if I ever was one, I’d like to think that I would be quite good at the job. I wouldn’t punish my children very much, nor discourage them from anything they might wish to do.

I would let them blossom and bloom like little flowers, and hope they turn out to be decent people. If not, oh well! Sometimes that happens.