askylongingformemories

[askylongingformemories]

1.Showdown On My Sombrero

A Sky Longing For Memories

   

"You have explicitly, expressed your contempt for me, You have got student loans to pay and can't risk alimony"

Nah, I am not writing a song lyrics, like I have even changed the first line cause even I am not interested in matrimony or stuff close to that, however the idea of ​​​​​​​​​having someone you like or can like, someone you can claim that when you go home you'll ask her out. Sometimes that someone can provide you a little hope and dream and a way to feel less miserable when you are suicidal. That sight of someone leaving actually hurts the most on the last day of school. Factually speaking I have got one more day to go to school as I have got an exam on 2nd April but its of a minor subject that only 25 out of 2-300 students had opted. So she'll not be coming . She has different subjects so she did not even come on 9th the day I saw most of my friends for last time. She has got an exam on 19th but I don't think I should go solely to meet her. After all I' ve got some self respect. Nah, actually I have not but I am haughty and if she was interested in me even half as much I was in her, she should have asked me out. I wouldn't have said no. Maybe. I wrote her messages. She didn't reply to any of them. None was informal, none was mentioning the sky I dream to go to with her. All were formal asking her to bring her books or whatever asking her to prepare for her part in the group activity we were in. Actually there were three of us and the other boy. Ah I so much love the classic love triangle .Thomas hardy wrote one with it- Far from the madding crowd.

"... and whenever I look up, there will be you."

She might be Everdene for me but I was none of her two lovers. I was the third wheel who watched all of it happen as if I had no say in the story-a proper NPC.A gal and a guy are talking in a room or in a walkway about physics ,chemistry or work .Suddenly a wild bidoof appears, and they stop talking, try to go away excuse themselves out. Bidoof texts the girl that he'll do this and that work and she'll do that work ,girl doesn't see even after being online. Sees it after a day, doesn't care to reply. Bidoof stops talking to her. Bidoof talks to the other guy who is a genuine friend and was a friend even before the gal arrived to know more about progress of work. The project is finished, group wins but gal talks and celebrates with guy. Bidoof also joins in. They talk for sometime. Go and collect award. Boy goes on to talk with other competitors and does no talk with team. Alpha male asks him to click his photos, he does but has no further talk. On the outset alpha is a general guy and bidoof has come to like him and respect him for he has also earned his place as one of the top 3 representing the school but so has bidof. Now what?

If you've been a third wheel before you know you are that bidoof. You are in team and you were critical at junctures , but no ONE cares. Actually one person cares and it's you Bidoof. MAKE SURE YOU DON'T CARE ANY LONGER , bidoof.

How do we fall in love-that would warrant another blog post. How love was manufacture d by durex to sell more condoms? And lawyers to make up reasons for women to marry men and take up half of their money when brain stops producing enough dopamine, oxytocin and like. And guys like Hardy and Dickens and Shaw and Shakespeare milked it to generate money. I might throw your pop musicians in as well for a good measure. Dylan, The Beatles, Cash, Smiths all talked of love even when they were in protest era, Even Vietnam vets CCR didn't shy from a song like that. And among fortunate son, Proud Mary and related stuff the most popular Creedence Clearwater Revival video is this one. Even most indie songs are of love as if you have nothing better to think about but about it, I'll talk next time. 

I'll come up with more stories about her and love is something that makes a man drunkard or author. I didn't get to experience any of it in high school so at least I got to write out a few stories of encounters I had with her to make up for lost time and opportunities to be happy