asleepdepriveddumbass

[asleepdepriveddumbass]

haven't been to a mooseheads game in person for over a year and apparently they made some changes to the arena.... the main one being a gigantic moose bust that flashes red eyes and shoots smoke out it's nose when we score

[asleepdepriveddumbass]

finished s4 today and here are some questions I still have

-WHAT HAPPENED TO SLOANE???

-why on earth did raymond "I would take my year with you over a lifetime with someone else" chestnut just leave allison?? like I get if the actor couldn't/didn't want to be in the season but they could have at least come up with an explanation

-why did luther get his ape body back, its not connected to his powers at all. they just did it to make two bad jokes didn't they

-why did some of them get different/upgraded powers but luther and diego didn't?

-when klaus was shot and allison gave him the marigold why didn't he just stay dead? s3 established he has a choice in whether he comes back to life

-what is durango even supposed to be? reginald says that jennifer is more powerful than all of them put together but thats only if she comes into contact with them right?

-HOW DID SHE GET IN THE SQUID

-how did five start the commission

-there was a total of 43 marigold children and yet we only ever meet like 16 of them. who are the others?? Also wouldn't their marigold also have to be absorbed to reset the timeline? Unless it did all get absorbed off screen somehow

-if jennifer was so dangerous why didn't reginald just kill her instead of building an entire town to keep her trapped... i know he wouldn't have had a problem with it.

-also this is more reginald just being stupid but why on earth would he send his kids with MARIGOLD on a mission where he knew a girl with DURANGO would be when he knows if they just made contact it would end the world. ALSO ALSO reginald was literally there so why didn't he just blow her up himself!!?? this shit gets dumber the more i think about it

-five says that the day they were born the timeline shattered or whatever but isn't that just his fault? he's the one with the time travel powers so without him there would be no way to create other timelines. wouldn't it have made more sense for just five to sacrifice himself then...? I guess Viktor would have still ended the world but the commission literally wanted the world to end in that timeline so what's the deal

-how could claire and diegolilas kids still be alive when their parents never existed. that would've created another grandfather paradox according to this shows logic but nope!

-oh yeah and what was the deal with the ben on the train at the end of s3 ... Literally had nothing to do with anything

thats all i can think of rn... I'm sure theres more but... my head hurty. if anyone has an explanation to any of these lmk

[asleepdepriveddumbass]

So I haven't watched the umbrella academy past the first few episodes of season 3 because it just felt like too much for me but what I got from tumblr about season 4 is that THEY MASSACRED MY BOY

[asleepdepriveddumbass]

I’m sure we’ve all seen by now Steve Blackman’s reasoning for Five/Lila stating:

“I felt that Five had to have a love story.”

And how it shows how this man somehow has such a deep fundamental misunderstanding about his own characters. How he helped create the first three seasons of this show and doesn’t realize that

This is Five’s love story.

Umbrella Academy the show wouldn’t exist without Five’s love. The whole plot and story is it.

He is the catalyst of all the plot lines while his family is the center of all the story beats. His love is the instigator for all the events of the show simply because he chooses to do everything possible in the hope that it will save his loves.

It’s not like this was even a subtle idea because Five literally states it himself multiple times over the series!

I just don’t understand how you can get it so wrong.

He creates the Commission in hopes of regulating the timeline so his family won’t get obliterated from existence, tattooing himself with the potential solution to rewriting the universe so they can all live happily one day.

He survives the apocalypse all on his own, when there was no real reason to, just because he believed he could get back to his family, spending 50+ years developing the math to one day do so.

He joins the Commission and murders and maims and manipulates in the desperate attempt that he might have a chance to go back and see/save his family.

He spends the first time he sees his family after over six decades not with them, but rather searching for a way to stop their deaths, sending them all through time when it doesn’t work.

He runs himself ragged stopping apocalypse after apocalypse just for them.

And when he loses all hope, accepting the kugelblitz, he is content to know he is doing so with his family.

As much as this show is about the whole family, ultimately, imo, this is Five’s story about his grueling quest to save the family he loves.

Because otherwise this show wouldn’t exist without him and the rest of the characters would just be decorations in the rubble of a world long gone.

So to say bro needed a love story— he doesn't say romance, but love story— is so durna, like what??? I guess if you really wanted him to have a romance you could do that, but there were many better options than the wife of someone he deeply loves, something he would never do.

(Not to mention all the real world implications of the romance with the actors, production really was waiting for him to be legal ಠ_ಠ)

Also I don’t think it’s a coincidence that many fans view Five somewhere under the aro/ace umbrella (pun intended).

Now, because of this misconstruction the ending of the show also suffers.

Brushing over all the mind boggling things the real ending says about abuse, its victims, and growing from it (which is actually like how did no one look at that and think hmm maybe this isn’t right for the story we’ve been telling), it also misunderstands love. It tells the audience that love isn’t worth it, in a show… about love. Not just Five’s but Hazel/Agnes, Viktor/Sissy, Allison+Claire, and more. How all your pain and suffering and tribulations for those you love are stupid and useless and cringe.

But y’know what, Mr. Blackman, I think you’re cringe for that absolute bonkers bananas ending.

And that’s why having the solution to the series being that Five should have never jumped in the first place would have been the best ending.

Making it so that the only solution to save the whole universe be that Five stay with his family, with those he loved— what he had been trying to do for the whole show— would have been the perfect conclusion to the story. It would show that all he had to do was stay, because that’s all they ever needed, that’s all he ever needed.

AND IT WOULD MAKE LOGISTICAL SENSE.

Five and Viktor are well confirmed to have been the closest ever since they were young. And Five (doesn’t matter if he’s the now Five who lived through the shows events or the young one who ran off) would most certainly be a supportive figure in Viktor’s life. He’s smart, for one, and it wouldn’t be a stretch for him to figure out what was really going on (especially with his hatred of Reginald) and help Viktor that way. But even if he doesn’t, when they grow to adults and Viktor naturally doesn’t take his pills or his power starts showing, Five’s love and care for his (closest) brother would most certainly help prevent the apocalypse. Especially since if Five and Viktor are close, as they grow older, I feel like the others would grow closer as well, maybe not the same degree, but they would be more willing and supportive of Viktor in the end (I feel like Season 1 shows us how at the end of the day the siblings do care for Viktor, but they were just too late, so this time they wouldn’t be).

Through the subway we see the timeline where he jumps still exists, so that should mean there is a way for him not to do that. His jumping (and the siblings he brings along) is what creates the paradoxes and the "need" for the Commission. So by him not jumping, problem solved.

This might come at the cost of the current versions of the characters, but I think if they can make the developmental journeys they did once, I think they can do it again, and have a happy ending.

(Also the Jennifer incident wouldn’t happen either bcs of Five or just bcs that plot line was so fluffin stupid, so yay alive Ben)

(And Diego and Luther meet Lila and Sloane respectively cuz they are also part of the marigold brood so they still do exist at the same time, so yay happy couples)

It is somewhat simple, but I think that works as well, especially for a character like Five. He spends so much time looking at all the different equations, trying to find some complex solution to everything, trying permutation after permutation (as evidenced by our and the diner Five's), when it was right in front of him. Idk, I just think it would be nice if he just decided to stay with his siblings instead of running off.

Sure it may not be completely perfect, maybe Ben still does die, or Klaus can’t meet Dave again, or characters still find themselves prey to their arrogance but I don’t think it needs to be, because real life isn’t perfect. But the bonds we make and the love we share makes it so, a major theme the Umbrella Academy isn't unfamiliar with.

And it just makes me so deeply sad that this isn’t the ending we got. That this isn’t the ending the characters got.

They deserve so much better than Blackman gave them, and it’s a disgrace that he didn’t.

[asleepdepriveddumbass]

damn it guys, i can't believe the umbrella academy ended with s3 in hotel oblivion where they all saved the world and went their seperate ways. gosh dang it.

[asleepdepriveddumbass]

Plot holes/crappy writing in TUA 4

• Five, the guy who spent 45 years in an apocalypse and went back specifically to save his siblings from the same fate, ended up betraying Diego with such lightness and unjustified hatred and almost left the whole family because he got rejected by Lila?

• Five and Lila together just because Five needed a love interest when up until a season ago they had a sibling dynamic and Lila was madly in love with Diego

• In the end they decide to sacrifice themselves to destroy the Marigold but then they all reincarnate as Marigold flowers? and there is literally half a bottle of Marigold left intact in Diego's van?

•why in the hell was Lila shooting laser from her eyes? where did that power come from?

• Luther regains his powers and gets his monkey body back even though it has NOTHING to do with his powers since he morphed into that after Reggie saved his life by injecting him with a serum in season one

• in the end, all the past villains are shown together in the correct timeline when they all should be from completely different times

• Five feels like a COMPLETELY different person, the decharacterization was unreal.

• Klaus' new powers are shown for a second and then for the rest of the season he's basically reduced to a prostitute, ruining all the anticipation of seeing his true strength that has been building up since season 2 and nullifying all of his self improvement

• why was Jennifer in a fucking squid?

• in the end how are the children alive if their parents never existed?

• Ben and Jennifer were completely USELESS. and they were supposed to be key characters of the season

• Abigail's storyline made NO sense at all, she was supposed to be one of the most important characters in the series since the foreshadowing of her presence starts in season 1 and then she is reduced to two scenes in which she basically goes "fuck you Reggie for destroying the world, now I'll destroy it too as punishment" ???

• when Five meets the other Fives in the diner he doesn't show any symptoms of Paradox Psychosis

• Ray and Sloane are cut out of the show with two lines without explaining anything

• Diego dies without saying goodbye to his children

• Jean and Gene barely have a role in the whole season

• Allison sacrificed everything and everyone for Claire and their relationship is reduced to 3 scenes?

[asleepdepriveddumbass]

I like that despite being a child abuser, child exploiter, and an emotionally absent father, Reginald draws the line at transphobia.

[asleepdepriveddumbass]

so we all love brisket five?

[asleepdepriveddumbass]

My sincerest condolences to every Umbrella Academy fan. I don’t even watch the show but what the fuck was that.

[asleepdepriveddumbass]

was anyone going to tell me that the pope's dressmaker posts dick and cock on instagram or was i supposed to find out for myself

[asleepdepriveddumbass]

so basically tumblr comes down to this, yeah?

[asleepdepriveddumbass]

logging onto tumblr be like

[asleepdepriveddumbass]

Ah love when you listen to “angry” pop punk music and they do a little scream like “Ah know your angry but everything is gonna be okay” is like a little forehead kiss

A little 😙 you got this

[asleepdepriveddumbass]

This speaks to me

the way that jamie knows the etymology of the term "primadonna" but can't spell password he is so so real 🩷

[asleepdepriveddumbass]

For their next team-bonding exercise, the Greyhounds should run over Jamie’s dad with their bus 🤗

[asleepdepriveddumbass]

the way everyone was immediately unbothered and supportive of van damme changing his name and even correcting themselves/each other was a perfect showcase of how fucking simple it is to apply this to peoples pronouns and/or trans people sharing their new name(s). the only comment from being, (chris) “i think he wants to be called van damme now” and arlo saying, “why?” to which chris responds, “well, we’d probably have to dive into his childhood for that answer.” like!! cis people will have wild nicknames and no one gives a second thought but when it’s a trans person telling you how to refer to them all of a sudden that’s “too much” “too complicated” and “confusing” like no it’s literally not you’re just being fucking hypocritical and transphobic stfu. and now i really need to see someone wearing a “protect trans kids” shirt this season please and thank you.

[asleepdepriveddumbass]

I have always loved Richard’s “we cannot fight them all” line when talking about the Richmond ghosts because, like, how many ghosts where you willing to fight, Richard?

but if nothing else this latest episode just proved that the small feral French man WAS down to fight those fucking ghosts, he was willing to do violence (arguably against much bigger guys/ghosts than him even when outnumbered), he is feisty. He did the math and THEN decided not to fight them.

So I’m once again asking HOW MANY GHOSTS WAS RICHARD WILLING TO FIGHT?!