assimeanaster

[assimeanaster]

ketterdam dashboard simulator

goedmedbridge420

who up boeking they canal

10,345 notes

drydens follow

I can't believe some of you log on here and thirstpost about barrel vagrants. it makes me so sick. these men are the very pits of society and have never honoured ghezen a day in their lives. there are so many other young men who make their living in a reverent way. have some dignity.

#ghezen #inghezenssight #ghezenhonouring #churchofghezen #handofghezen

2 notes

kooperomno1fan

lionsroar12 follow

omg HOW is kaz brekker winning this he's SO problematic he's not even good for the economy he killed members of his own gang and kidnapped councilman van eck's son

dregsundrained

cranky coz your gang fell apart aren't you

17,860 notes

oskervoexchange follow

guys is this a mandela effect or what bc I SWEAR this painting used to be in the university district art museum, I literally saw it this week??? but I went today and it was GONE?????? there wasn't even a plaque?? guys pls I'm so confused why is everyone acting like this is normal for ketterdam? do priceless antiques just VANISH? am I being gaslit?

450 notes

stadhall-clerking

guys I'm so sorry I've been MIA :( I found out that my landlord was using my rent on the staves rather than fixing my black mould problem so I pushed him out the window and told the stadwatch he must have fallen and died because he wasn't honouring ghezen and got away with it. anyway I think maybe the black mould explains the dirtyhands/sturmhond fic I was writing sorry :( but I WILL finish my fairy queen of istamere meta post once I've moved into my new lodging

670 notes

dregsconfessions follow

SUBMISSION: sometimes I lie awake thinking about the time I fell down an entire flight of stairs at the slat when kaz was at the bottom, and he just stared at me (still lying on the floor), and then asked if I'd changed the beer kegs at the silver six yet. GIRL NO?!?!?!

#submission #dregs #dirtyhands #admin comment: laughed so loud my upstairs neighbour threatened to shoot me

546 notes

dregsconfessions follow

ADMIN NOTE: if the razorgulls don't fucking stop sending anon hate to this blog we'll tell dirtyhands n he'll send you your own IP address back

#see what happens you hack job seagulls

500 notes

kerchtourismboard

it's us, the real kerch tourism board, here to tell you what we're putting in the new summer season pamphlet. we got 1) three pages all about kaz brekker that end up being more of an advertisement than a deterrent 2) list of slipperiest spots in the barrel where you will fall over and get a concussion when ur drunk 3) top 10 ways to get your wallet stolen by a child in broad daylight 4) paintings of the komedie brute 5) advert for sten's stockpot 6) map of public toilets

570 notes

kerchtourismboardreal follow

we are not affiliated with any degenerate impersonator accounts who claim to be us. we are the only real kerch tourism account.

23 notes

kerchtourismboard-real follow

grafcanal smells like piss and you should bite everyone you see wearing the mister crimson costume

450 notes

stensstockpot follow

it's all 'fuck sten's stockpot' and 'I got food poisoning from the special at sten's stockpot' until you realise you don't have the money for cilla's fry, and then you come CRAWLING back to the loving arms of sten's stockpot and our special. you fucking traitors. you'll be back! you'll all be back

canaljumpings follow

what's in the special sten's stockpot

stensstockpot follow

it's a surprise ;)

bertskerch follow

nah I thought this was the real stens lmao

stensstockpot follow

bert smit you still have 45 kruge to pay on your tab and if you don't cough up we'll send our debtors to break your legs

230 notes

exchangingbabey follow

my grisha girlfriend who still wears a kefta and says things like 'nikolai lantsov is a bastard': ugh they're still debating whether or not the council of tides should be able to control kerch shipping, I hate inter-country politics

me: I think I hauve the queen's lady

4500 notes

(insp) (insp)

[assimeanaster]

in library. talkin about thanksgiving. librarian is asking the kids what they eat, trying to lead them towards thanksgiving food & its like pulling teeth. asking what they pour on mashed potatoes. one kid says Rocks. librarian is like “im thinking of something that starts with GR and its brown” and another kid raises her hand & im like ok this girls on top of everything shes got this. & she goes “gorilla sauce”

[assimeanaster]

i do not bark for people but for this car i will make an exception good golly.

[assimeanaster]

btw my other blog that im active on is @asterorsomething im really funny over there i pwomise

[assimeanaster]

ngl i wish this was me and my mutuals

Two Cuban women smoking cigars in Old Havana

[assimeanaster]

i saw the trailer for the new feel-good “anti-racist” US war movie about the carpet bombing of North Korea and started writing up something for this blog, partially inspired by the absolute shit storm i got for sharing that post i made with pictures of everyday life outside pyongyang

and then i gave up, because what’s the point? westerners can’t even handle a single picture of a north korean not looking miserable without screaming propaganda

meanwhile, there are no stories about the horrors of life in the ‘hermit kingdom’ that are deemed too outlandish to be believable. i can’t remember who said it, but it’s like the entire country has taken up permanent residence in the western imaginary as some silly little cartoon villain, where the leaders of the country does evil things for no discernible reason. they’re just silly and evil like that, and the citizens, of course, are silly, too. silly and brainwashed.

i watched a video recently of a tourists visiting an auto dealership in pyongyang, and the entire time he was just gawking at the employees and costumers, shoving his phone in their face, and confidently explaining to his youtube audience that everyone he’s interacting with are actually actors.

what level of dehumanization do you have to reach for that thought to even cross your mind? to think that the people you see before you are actors? that entire cities and shops are erected with to sole purpose that you, a western, will see them and be impressed?

what frustrates me the most is the casual cruelty that seeps into any mention of north korea, no matter how small. if north koreans are not being evil, they’re being silly.

a north korean newspaper reports that a group of archeologists in pyongyang have discovered an old rock carving with the words ‘unicorn lair’ (mistranslated), and the western press reports that north koreans now believe in unicorns.

a tourist at a hotel in hamhung is told by the receptionist to be careful at the beach: the waves can get high. that day the tourists goes to the beach, and there are no waves. she retells the story to her instagram followers, explaining that the poor woman at the hotel could never have seen real waves before because north koreans are probably never allowed to travel.

she adds a little teary-eyed emoji.

one of the cities i included in the post was sariwon, a densely populated city to the south of pyongyang. below are some pictures from its “folk customs street”, which was built to showcase old korean traditions and customs

here’s all wikipedia has to say about it

Built to display an ideal picture of ancient Korea, it includes buildings in the “historical style” and a collection of ancient Korean cannons. Although it is considered an inaccurate romanticized recreation of an ancient Korean street, it is frequently used as a destination for foreigners on official government tours. Many older style Korean buildings exist in the city.

it’s just north koreans being silly again. there’s no mention of what might motivate them to build a street like that — why the preservation of old customs, culture and architecture might somehow be important for the city

could it perhaps have something to do with how the U.S. air force dropped 635,000 tons of bombs, including 32,557 tons of napalm, over the korean peninsula during the war? the carpet bombings, which are now the topic of an upcoming hollywood movie about overcoming racism through warcrimes, destroyed an estimate of 85% of all buildings in north korea. some cities were entirely wiped off the map.

in sariwon they missed a few buildings, but not many — after an intense firebombing campaign the U.S. military estimated the destruction of sariwon to be at 95%.

none of this is mentioned on the wikipedia page for sariwon.

we destroyed entire cities. memory-holed the entire thing, called it the forgotten war. and now, 70 years later, we’re convincing ourselves that the people living in the ruins are actors.

and somehow the north koreans are the brainwashed ones

[assimeanaster]

little do they know i have two other blogs one of which i lost access to a few years ago

[assimeanaster]

Cute partner  nicknames

The One

gay sex

Manhattan project 

disease 

[assimeanaster]

"cis is a slur" i'm completely fine using it that way

[assimeanaster]

Threw away fifteen dollars, the dice rolls like garbage, and the joints stick but it's a DND Bakugan dragon like

(they also had a beholder version but clearly dragons are better)

(alternatively: new Wondrous figurine: white dragon)

[assimeanaster]

Been in Norway for a few weeks, here are some photos from my trip!

[assimeanaster]

Caught up on Season of the Witch. Eris Morn stay winning

[assimeanaster]

im back you fuck mothering motherfucking fucks

[assimeanaster]

cute date idea: sleep for 8 hours

[assimeanaster]

I'm WHEEZING

[assimeanaster]

I heard the grim reaper is bisexual…

Apparently, Death comes for us all.

[assimeanaster]

An unnecessarily long rant about Inaros

The people who call Inaros bad because he’s boring are the same people who think Vauban is good for playing the game for you

Inaros has plenty of flaws to go around but downright calling him bad because he’s boring is the dumbest shit ever

People only target Inaros for being boring because he can’t clear a room is a tap of his 4 button

If you want good dps, run Equinox or the bramma and stop making it look like Inaros is the only frame that isn’t Saryn

Why not shit on Yareli? She is objectively worse at every possible application compared to Inaros

Another thing, it’s important to note that if you dedicate every mod slot to just having more health, HIS ABILITIES ARE GOING TO BE BAD BECAUSE YOU AREN’T DEDICATING ANY MOD SLOTS TO MAKING THEM GOOD WHY CAN’T YOU WRAP YOUR NEANDERTHAL SKULLS AROUND THIS

The real kicker is that a vast majority of the idiots who call him bad haven’t ever even played him

I have seen Inaros haters on Reddit displaying a comical lack of knowledge about his abilities ranging from not knowing what his 2 does to thinking he has an exalted weapon. Note that all of these people spoke as if they had played hundreds upon hundreds of hours on him

Most of these people are just parroting a specific YouTuber whose name starts with a K and ends with a nightmare frame or another person making an absurdly inaccurate comment under a post about Inaros being good

Let’s clear some things up

His 1 is his best lifesteal ability it costs next to no energy and it opens enemies up to finishers meaning if you run him for range and duration then build your gram or fragor for speed and just a little damage, he can blind hordes of enemies and send them all to horny jail by spamming x. I consider his 1 to be the best subsumable lifesteal in the game because of it’s cheapness and abilities to grant the user 2000 health in two button presses

His 2 makes you invincible while you’re eating the bad guy which is great for things like the exploiter orb because it makes you MOTHERFUCKING INVINCIBLE

His 3 makes good helminth fodder

When fully charged, his 4 grants a practically free 100% armor boost which doubles his EHP and expends health which Inaros has no problem obtaining

If you play him right, he can easily tank up until level 180 and if you want to go farther than that then you can run octavia or limbo because you clearly aren’t going any farther than that for any practical purposes

Also, contrary to popular belief, shield gating is not the only way to tank in this game

People focus WAY too much on his inability to shield gate when, again, making it past level 180, the point where shield gating becomes marginally useful, is impractical

Inaros is an average to sub-average frame but he gets way more shit than he deserves simply because the community chose him of all the bad frames in the game to be the worst of them all