assuming-dinosaur

[assuming-dinosaur]

🎶 workin' 9 to 5 🎶

[assuming-dinosaur]

me when i have to put proper citations: ugh this is so annoying who even cares what i do in the footnotes

me when i can't find a source because it hasn't been quoted correctly: i am going to track down the authors and they will answer to me. i will find out who caused this suffering. there will be blood.

[assuming-dinosaur]

Apple TV Murderbot + Text posts

[assuming-dinosaur]

Fuck you *migrates to another environment and evolves entirely new characteristics over thousands of years*

[assuming-dinosaur]

HUGE DAY FOR ANNOYING PEOPLE!!!!!!!!

[assuming-dinosaur]

no animal was harmed during the making of this video. not one. for the few minutes that we were shooting film, the guns of each hunter fell silent. the industrial bolt throwers observed a moment's peace and the jaws of every predator hung softly open. no fish bit any hook and the bait worms held off on drowning only until the cameras stopped. the tails of ruminants ceased to flick just as their attendant flies, in unison, landed on their flanks to catch their tiny breaths. a spider instantly stopped winding silk around a wasp, patiently waiting for the caesura to end. a young veterinarian paused with the syringe in their hand. somewhere, a colicky baby stopped biting its mother's nipple and nursed happily for the very first time. we're sorry. we're sorry it couldn't have been longer. we didn't know this would happen.

[assuming-dinosaur]

when i say “that reminds me” & theres zero connection you just have to take my word for it theres no time to explain

[assuming-dinosaur]

atoms are made of positive parts, negative parts, and neutral parts. the positive parts are attracted to the negative parts and repelled by each other, like magnets. but there's a second force that attracts positive and neutral parts to each other. to have an atom, you need the two forces that govern the parts of the atom to attain celestial harmony, which means you need enough neutral parts to make the positive parts stick together in the middle.

sometimes an atom is permissible but celestially disharmonious, usually because it's too big. there's also an occult diagram that determines which forms of atom are harmonious, but it's usually because it's too big. when this happens, the angels take offense and break it apart. this makes atoms that aren't celestially harmonious into smaller atoms that are, and is where balloon gas comes from: the form of balloon gas is particularly favored by God.

that's all well and good, as such things go. there are rocks that make balloon gas because God thinks their atoms are too big. that's fine. we can use it for balloons. but there's another type of celestial disharmony, caused by a secret third force that does this, where a neutral part of an atom can break into a positive part, a negative part, and a secret third thing called an "anti neutrino", and the atom gets bigger. you can't use this to make explosions, that's a third thing, but you can use it to light exit signs. you probably can't use it to turn base metals into gold either; that's a fourth thing, which is maybe the opposite of the third.

it's really hard to make gold because there's only one kind that isn't so celestially disharmonious that it curses you to death with beams. we wouldn't like gold if it cursed us to death with beams. it does curse us to death, of course, but the harmonious kind doesn't do it with beams.

[assuming-dinosaur]

Spin this wheel first and then this wheel second to generate the title of a YA fantasy novel!

(If the second wheel lands on an option ending with a plus sign, spin it again)

Share what you got!

[assuming-dinosaur]

quiz: why do lobsters have one claw bigger

[assuming-dinosaur]

still amazes me that by season 45 or whatever, Supernatural was being exclusively watched by delusionally hopeful women with flamingo-salinity tolerance for bad writing and the creators still couldn’t pander to them because maybe there was 1 straight guy out there still accidentally watching it

[assuming-dinosaur]

That's how they do that

[assuming-dinosaur]

One day you'll be working on a research project on fossil teeth from the Hamilton local fauna and inadvertently create a folder named

[assuming-dinosaur]

This was in Sioux Falls South Dakota! The green sky is caused by large hail stones within the storm refracting back green light to the observer.

[assuming-dinosaur]

at the grocery store purchasing an amount of vegetables best described as "optimistic"

[assuming-dinosaur]

A tiny part.

Buy my new book The Birding Dictionary!

[assuming-dinosaur]