astarion-obsessions - Tumblr blog

[astarion-obsessions]

Here u go have a freebie

I have some context for this kinda. It was the first comic I doodled way back because I wanted to fill in the blanks after certain Act3 cutscenes. Then I forgot about it entirely oops

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Calm moment

📻ORGAN, ONEIL & FAVIA - Sweet Dreams

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Some of these modders are clowns this is what ur making the hot vamp into. objectively

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My cat does this thing where he sits and waits for lunch (automatic feeder) for hours. At first my partner was worried, 'is that normal', 'is he stressed', 'should we feed him more'.

No, no, I assured. The cat was rescued out of a trash can and is just very afraid of food scarcity. We feed him three times a day and he's stayed in survival mode for years now. His hunger is as neverending as his fear of starvation is.

And, of course, I can't help but think that way about Astarion, who hasn't known when his next meal would be for two centuries.

How he must be initially quite cautious about his first few meals, secretive and afraid of anyone finding him, of Cazador's cold grip landing on him at any moment. They're sporadic, unfulfilling, never enough.

How when he first feeds from Tav he finds himself unable to stop-- how it must have been overwhelming, finally tasting the blood of a thinking creature, realizing that it tastes unlike anything else. It's delicious, it's new, it's the meal of a king after eating like a pauper.

How, after that night, Tav can offer their blood to him, but it's never a guarantee. They have no reason (or so he sees) to offer him anything. They could be gone in a moment's notice and he would be back at square one again: starving and afraid. The meals are nice, the moments together are nice, but he's cautious, wary, and ready to run.

How bandits and creatures are found aplenty along their journey, but the opportunity for a fresh hot meal is not. He bites them, leaps onto them to draw what he can, but it's such a shallow drink, is it truly enough? Again, he worries that tomorrow may not bring another taste. That this, too, is just another stopgap for a hunger that knows no limits.

And of course, there is hunting. How he finds the odd animal as they travel, but it's not the same. Nothing fills the void in the same way after he drinks the blood of thinking creatures. Like he mentions, it's a delectable vintage to the cheap swill of animals. He wonders if he could ever eat another rat again, he hopes he won't have to find out.

Each and every day, he waits up on edge. He thinks to himself, is this the day that I return to starvation?

No matter how well he's fed, blood is still, and will always be, at the forefront of his mind. And satiation eternally out of his grasp. No matter how much he feeds, no matter how often he feeds, no matter from who or what type of creature-- he will never be full.

He is that cat, standing at attention, waiting, wishing for a meal he doesn't truly need. Because gods know when his next one might be.

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Hey so this interaction is devastating

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Neil Newbon, but Astarion flavored.

As requested....followed by, Astarion, but Neil Newbon flavored.

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Welcome to our camp, man. Don't worry, it's not scary here…probably... Thanks for the translation into English - Erika-xero  

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unpopular astarion headcanons r.e. mirrors and reflections:

while I love the memes around this, I don't think, unless you had a particularly charismatic tav/durge, the whole party would draw him / contribute to some kind of spell where he could see his reflection. Obviously there's room for difference given how many routes your playthrough can take, but generally: he's not universally loved in the same way Karlach is, he's not the heart of the party, he's mostly clinging to the edge of it (and that's fine!)

I think showing him his reflection would impact him deeply and therefore if it is done at the wrong time/place, he'd actually resent the person who did it. this is because you're making him appear vulnerable.

e.g. if the venue is too public, if the others could see, he'd dislike the fact that others can see a moment of vulnerability

alternatively: if your approval with astarion is too low, he'd automatically distrust it / question your motives. this is someone who simply does not believe that people will be kind unprompted to strangers (because doing so violates his worldview and in some ways makes his abuse feel crueller -- if no one cares, there's a logic to what happened to him, at least)

the more permanent the method, the more effort put in, the more likely he is to have mixed/negative feelings towards it. a sketch is a kindness, but not one that requires a great sacrifice or planning - it's easy to dismiss as a fleeting gesture (while he will keep it, obviously, to look at, because he's not that willing to believe his own bullshit).

in contrast, if a permanent method of showing his reflection was given - e.g. a charmed mirror that casts a spell - I think astarion, with a high approval PC, would feel on some level obligated to pay that 'debt' back. astarion strikes me as someone who distrusts thoughtful, non-flippant gifts because again, he's used to transactional relationships.

I also think it might strike at an insecurity: the knowledge that astarion lacks autonomy/independence to deal with his own issues by himself, and, with some bitterness, is dependent on the PC to help him. if you give astarion an enchanted mirror, he, on some level, feels he is dependent on your magic and your supply of magical items to gain access to an element of his humanity. that doesn't entirely sit comfortably with him.

the "best" way to deal with this? let astarion figure out how to handle this himself. for example: gifting him a 'mirror image' spell scroll or something similar. give him time to study the scroll and he'll find a way to cast that spell himself. mechanically, astarion isn't a wizard, but narratively, his default class is arcane trickster, he has access to magic, I don't think it is really that much of a stretch to believe he could achieve that. in general, I think handing astarion the tools to achieve his own goals by himself will be more appreciated than handing that to him on a plate.

however! counterargument to consider: it may be more valuable in the long run to confront astarion's fear of dependence and the sense of reliance that exists particularly in a tav run, where you the PC have 'saved' him without needing to be saved in return. he needs to realise that the PC isn't expecting anything in return for friendship/romance.

either way, i think showing astarion his reflection is going to be more fraught than one might expect - a generous gift, obviously, he will take (he's been poor and starving enough not to turn it down), but there might be some tension beneath any show of gratitude your receive (or he might feign disinterest, if approval/trust is low enough!)

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Fragrant time of the month...

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It's so him :P

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Don't worry. We will see each other again in other universe.

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Don't worry. We will see each other again in other universe.

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Picks him up like a stray cat

reversed!

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Anyone else playing Stardew Valley with the Astarion mod? I'm in love with him...

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"hello my sweet"

"i did miss that face, you know"

"ah, you're so adorable when you're thinking what to say"

"you are perfect, every time"