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[asteria-sparrow]

Routine By Sparrow

I knew it would feel like this,

But I didn’t,

I spent months thinking about it,

How grief would feel,

Now it’s here.

My pillow is empty,

Your cup on the counter a cruse,

The spot on the couch,

I can’t touch it.

I pass the spot you died,

Every morning,

It hurts every time,

The memory feels so fresh.

Everytime I think I’m okay,

The pain comes back,

With a piece of missing routine,

The pillow, your cup, your spot.

Each piece of routine lost,

It makes your absence larger,

Makes it all more real,

More painful.

This house is still full,

Yet there is a void,

I fear only your paws will fix,

But you’ll never walk again.

You won’t purr,

Nor cry,

Nor demand,

Nor talk,

To me again.

You won’t wake me again,

And I’d give anything,

Just for a moment,

Even if it was you waking me,

Or demanding I move the cup.

If I could hold you one more time,

It’d be worth it.

-In memory of simon 2024