astraeuswillnotsuccumb

[astraeuswillnotsuccumb]

hero and failure

hc that neutral knife ending hero went to med school but ended up switching majors with the goal of an eventual psychology doctorate in the hopes that he could save others from ending up like mari — and himself after her supposed suicide — yet his guilt only got worse when he discovered mari’s baby brother killed himself, right after basil did, and he failed to protect them despite helping people through their grief being what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. "if i can't even save the people closest to me, how am i supposed to help anyone else?"

ntm the one time he put himself first ended up being detrimental to himself and those around him (falling into a depression after mari's death), and he never does it again even after finding basil dead, telling sunny he'll be okay despite literally staring at a dead body with his little brother.

and don’t get me started on him bearing the “blessing” of favorite child, watching kel suffer and be ignored by their parents and trying his hardest not to let that sow resentment between them.

then sally comes along, and now there’s this Baby to take care of and he’s trying to manage college and grief and thinking about mari every day and being so, so sorry, and…his mom only talks about all that he fails to do. how he used to want to spend time with her and now he just “doesn’t bother with his poor old mom.”

and then sunny dies. everything hero strived for was for nothing, because even in a last-ditch effort to protect sunny and keep him from seeing basil’s body, sunny died anyway. the little brother of the love of his life died the “same way” she did.

he calls himself “hero,” and his parents like to think he’s a hero too, but all he can seem to do…is fail.

[astraeuswillnotsuccumb]

her art style/character design in the manga is so gorgeous i might shed a tear