astrogone - Tumblr blog

[astrogone]

Hey everyone, I hope all is well for you guys! Just wanna nudge y’all that I had recently created my personal / storage blog @.bloodburn and if anyone wanna bug me on Pokémon Go and get spoiled with my gifts, hit me up at 4250 4541 1114. I had created a new Discord for fresh start, so if you’re interested, lemme know. <3

But I also want to talk about my mental health that affects where I’ll be standing in the rpc:

Keep reading

[astrogone]

* ﹙✧﹚  :    ❝   @godbanes​  ❞     /      . . .

all donovan can do is listen as sobs wreck jack’s body,     as he slowly begins to control his breathing,     eyes melting into donovan’s.      softness and an unnamed feeling glaze his own as he keeps wiping away the tears,     his own heart beating rapidly in his chest as the claw of anxiety reaches in with its poisonous thoughts:     you made him cry,    you’re at fault,    you’re disturbed,    he’ll leave you now,    he’s sick of you.      even as jack kisses his hand,    as he repeats the word never,     donovan doubts it.     he’s ready to retract within himself and begin to ignore the overwhelming emotion that takes over;    unlike anxiety,    it actually makes him sick.     relief.   he’s overcome with relief.    jack’s kisses on his skin feel cold and refreshing and donovan wants to feel them with his own,   wants to wrap his arms around jack again and hold him there and make him promise to never fucking leave.

“  the world— ? ”      confusion takes over before he can pull jack into his arms.    he doesn’t expect the rage,    the loss in control.    complete stillness controls him and he’s left staring at where jack was sitting next to him,    barely hearing his steps as he exits the garage.      again,   the claw wins and his heart begins racing once more as his thoughts run wild,    faster than the rain hitting the ground,    faster than the lightning colouring the night sky in silver tendrils.     donovan flinches when jack’s voice raises above the wrath of nature and he sharply turns his head to see him screaming at a god who did nothing but wrong him.     the demigod never dared to ask more than what jack offered to tell him.    most of the stories he knew from bedtime stories,   from cartoons and proverbs,    though donovan always reminded himself that there is more to jack than a fun story to tell before sleep;     the confirmation is right in front of him,   ringing in his ears like a drum.      

when jack falls to the ground that’s when donovan raises from the mattress,   rushing to the other but ultimately freezes again just outside the door.   jack is in love with donovan and he’d yelled it at a god.    donovan feels every bit of divinity inside of him boil to surface,    ichor filling his mouth.     his heart calls out for jack and makes every nerve in his body ache for jack’s touch,    makes him want to hear it again.    and again.   and again.   there is someone in the world who loves him.    there is someone in the world who would take down a god out of love for him.    donovan’s knees buckle as he steps closer,    welcoming the rain.    its drops hide how his own eyes burn when he rests an arm around jack’s shoulders and whispers,       “  we’re both free.  ”

donovan never knew love.    ever since he was young,    the people supposed to protect him turned out to be the ones hurting him most.     his mother opened the door to so many strangers and allowed them to cause him pain,   to make him fear everyone.   silenced,    beaten,    thrown,    touched when he wanted nothing but peace    –   all of these added to the poison his father let him inherit.    the one good fucking thing dionysus ever did was give him the power to free himself from nadya’s leash.    madness,   madness,   he always felt one step away from falling into unbridled madness.   when him and jack found each other,   donovan was held together only by the maenads who struggled to understand him and give him comfort.     jack appeared into his life just before donovan was about to lose all hope.

now they are both free.   from gods,   from fears, from everything.

“   come on,  ”    a quiet but firm command as he forces jack up on his feet.     when jack is standing up,   donovan grabs his cheeks and rests their foreheads together,   burning determination in those mismatched eyes of his.      “  look at me. you’ve always been free.     no fucking god can control you,   or me.  ”     donovan runs his thumbs over jack’s cheeks,    not caring for how the rain drenches them to the skin.      he’ll give jack everything he has,    even if it’s not much.     a bruised heart,    a broken sense of self,    a twisted sense of affection.   but jack will have it all.       “  and so long as i’m here,   i’ll fucking kill them with my own hands if they hurt you.    you got it?  ”     the words are almost a low growl,    a threat to any gods listening.    a sober donovan is a deadly weapon,     enough to make a god look away and shudder.     poison boils in his blood and he has to breathe deeply to control the rush of power.      his hands tremble on jack’s face but he doesn’t pull away.     instead he pulls him closer and seals his lips with a hard kiss,     hands snaking up to jack’s wet hair and holding it tightly.    the rain slows down as their lips move together,    warmth and cold melting together,    and they do not stop until the storm slows to a sweet pitter-patter.     only then does donovan pull away,    every inch of his body shaking with the cold,   with the emotion and desire that fills him.

“   you have me,    jack.     you have me. ”      all of me.   i love you,   too.

𝐍𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒. That is all Jack feels as he stares blankly at his twitching fingers, his sore skin that is covered with useless dirt and emerald stains from torn out grasses. It has always been that way. ( WITH THESE TALES, THESE SONGS, THESE TERRIBLE “WHAT IF”’S, THE WORLD MADE ME BECOME THE WINTER, THE THIEF OF SKIN AND FIRE. I WAS MADE TO STEAL THE LIGHTS AND BURN THE BODIES, AND ALL I CAN FEEL IS N O T H I N G. ) Perhaps, his aches speak in the whimpers of desperation, yet while the thunders only tear the sky apart, he expects some sort of glory from his outburst at God. He had never once dared himself to look at the sky and smile, laugh as if there are no eyes in the stars, the clouds, anywhere where there are heavenly homes for the powerful, trembling hearts. ( The deities were the ones to had invented abandonment, and it is tragically beautiful for what it can do to anyone so easily. )

Though there is nothing out there for Jack to gain. Nothing but r a g e. He continues to slaughter the plants beneath his body, wash his hands with more of nature’s haunted colours, shaken with violence at the sinking realization that no matter what he will do or say to God, hymns will only be water to the dried throats, sacrifices will only be food to the starving bellies; he soon learns that to become a God means to be forever hungry for what can not be defined as enough to their celestial mind. Why would God want to create the Universe? ( To create what will simply devolve into things for Him to feast on before the apocalypse. ) A dark limb reaches over to his shoulder and he flinches at the sudden contact, heavier than the rain it is, it is skin and warm and terribly familiar, yet he can not find himself moving away from it. Instead, he whimpers loudly, believing that this will be the moment God have enough of him. He shuts his eyes and meets the darkness, his final end.

Then a voice comes.

“We’re both free.”

Jack slowly turns and finds the man on his knees beside him. He stares in confusion when, at first, he does not recognize Donovan; the absence of his shit-eating grins, the ever consuming mischief in his eyes. There is only understanding from a place he does not know fully of, but can still sense its loneliness and suffering. It reminds Jack that he is not alone... that Donovan is here. Remembering how he had let him go at the garage, he gasps, now recognizing Donovan at last. He clings onto him once again, whispering only apologies to him for making him think that he would leave him, for making him believe that he would even think of abandoning him; then eventually, for existing. Though the burning words die down in his throat at the command as he is placed back to his feet. The world sways with everything spinning while he is standing perfectly still, and suddenly, Jack finds his forehead resting against Donovan’s and his gaze melts into the determination that is made out of love.

With widen eyes, his pants heavy and painful, he listens to Donovan, looks at him like he only matters to him in this damned universe. Donovan does matter to him. The world Jack stands on is no longer a place where he can find anything familiar to him, yet there is Donovan, his shadows, his dreams, his home. Donovan has always been a reason why he can endure the endings of the days, the beginnings from something tragic, because he had taught him believe in himself through the light to darkness, despite the harshness in his words. Still, they belong to love so twisted and distorted, and that will always be enough to Jack. So he nods furiously when asked at the end, unable to speak when he is amazed at how hellbent Donovan is to protect him from the world, both mankind and deities. From Hell to Heaven, Donovan would be there for and with him, and as Jack let his hands on his cheeks, he hopes Donovan knows he would do the same to him, regardless of anything.

They are truly free, and because of the love they have for each other, they are unstoppable.

Jack kisses Donovan back, softly moaning at the grip in his hair. His hands land on his back, clenching his shirt and skin as he presses his weight against to him, wanting to be held more closely to his heart. Listen to it sing out of joy while the deities watch their act from the above and the below. This is love, he thinks, feeling the rush of euphoria through him from Donovan who have done nothing but given kindness to him. This is love, he believes, and there are tears dwelling in his eyes again, though not out of pain, but joy that he can relearn what love is. Understand it better that Donovan, and only him, is what love means, and nothing and no one can ever take that meaning away from him. Not when Jack is still standing and breathing, despite it all. ( LET THE DEITIES WITNESS US AS WE SPILL OUR BLOOD IN THE NAME OF DEVOTION. WE WILL MAKE OUR OWN WORSHIPS, TURN THEM INTO WARMTH, AND WE WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH IT FOR EACH OTHER TODAY, TOMORROW, FOREVER. )

“Jack... have Donovan t-too,” he replies to him, breathless, feeble, but the words still stand as a promise. He notices how the rain slows then and when he glances at the sky, he weakly smiles, feeling only the eyes of Donovan on him. Nothing and no one else, but just Donovan. His shadows, his dreams, his home. “Let’s go - let’s go home,” mutters Jack, looking back at Donovan and himself. He winces, fully taking in how soaked both of their clothes are. He wonders if Donovan have any extra clothes. Though to think he would wear them, he shuffles his feet in shyness while absently, he takes him by his hand, letting his warmth take him in the gentlest way possible. He leads themselves back to the garage, neither of them being in front of or behind each other, but they walk by each other’s side. They are together now, so together, they will live, and together, they will be okay in the end.

Donovan Dobroshtan and Jack Alez, the Universe’s impossible lovers.

[astrogone]

ʟɪɴᴇs ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴄʀʏ 

various lines from songs/movies/books/etc. that i’ve cried to.

❝ you are who you choose to be. ❞

❝ you stay. i go. no following. ❞

❝ souls don’t die. ❞

❝ i am haunted by humans. ❞

❝ even death has a heart. ❞

❝ humans, if nothing else, have the good sense to die. ❞

❝ despite everything, i believe that people are really good at heart. ❞

❝ don’t ever tell anybody anything. if you do, you start missing everybody. ❞

❝ despite everything, it’s still you. ❞

❝ come back! even as a shadow, even as a dream. ❞

❝ you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. ❞

❝ how lucky i am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. ❞

❝ you will stay who you are, not a perfect soldier, but a good man. ❞

❝ it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. ❞

❝ we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. ❞

❝ every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future. ❞

❝ after all this time? always. ❞

❝ you is kind. you is smart. you is important. ❞

❝ take her to the moon for me, okay? ❞

❝ but if you want to leave, you can. i’ll remember you though. i remember everyone that leaves. ❞

❝ the only heaven i’ll be sent to is when i’m alone with you. ❞

❝ … and i have faith in you. ❞

❝ when i’m thirsty, it feels how i feel when i’m alone. ❞

❝ so the next time you look and see nothing, have a little hope, will ya? ❞

❝ we all have different reasons for forgetting to breathe. ❞

❝ you are not weak just because your heart feels so heavy. ❞

❝ when people don’t express themselves, they die one piece at a time. ❞

❝ i have survived. i am here. confused, screwed up, but here. ❞

❝ i was okay just a moment ago. i will learn how to be okay again. ❞

❝ we were nostalgic for a time that wasn’t yet over. ❞

❝ so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past. ❞

❝ i don’t want to pretend anymore. you make me want to be real. ❞

❝ if you don’t give up and don’t give in, you may just be okay. ❞

❝ we deserve a soft epilogue, my love. ❞

❝  we are good people and we’ve suffered enough. ❞

❝  if you’re so funny, then why are you on your own tonight? ❞

❝ it’s so easy to laugh, it’s so easy to hate; it takes strength to be gentle and kind. ❞

❝ last night I dreamt that somebody loved me, no hope - but no harm. just another false alarm. ❞

[astrogone]

“𝐍𝐄𝐖𝐓! Newt! Newt!” Kindness spills in sweet silver, rich and soft, from the corners of an absentminded smile. Once Epimetheus enters the lab with a small box tightly clenched in a trembling hand, joy takes the softest form of stars as there are delicate lights shining across his ocean kissed eyes. He glances around to see if Newton is around until he hears a particular voice in the corner, something about Kaijus. As the usual, Epimetheus thinks with an amused shake of head. Then he squeaks out of excitement at the thought of handing the man the gift, practically hopping over to meet him.

“Ah, you’re here! You’re here!” Delight steals Epimetheus’ voice, it touches the reality with nothing but a sense of home. Childlike warmth spreads from his presence while he shakily holds up the black box to Newton. He had already given his own parts of love to his brothers, so it is time for him to reach out to the others. Though he hopes with Newton, it is a good one. He smiles sheepishly at him when he thinks about the timing. “I apologize if I’m interrupting you or anything, but I made something for you as a thank you gift for your services and being a lovely friend to me!”

When Newton opens it, he will find a bracelet made in silver, gleaming softly under the ceiling lights. There are several coloured charms of the Kaijus’ heads adorned around it, one from each category that Epimetheus believes he would like the most. It is light to be worn, though the effort of making it is full of love. It should bring the familiar warmth in the chest despite the small weight the bracelet bears of. With the details of the charm, it certainly took a while for Epimetheus to get it done, but the impatience and frustration from the work was worth it.

Epimetheus fidgets as he waits, his feet bouncing on the floor in anticipation.

“I hope you like it!”

* ﹙✧﹚  :    ❝   @kaijvking​​   ❞    /    ! ! !

[astrogone]

Am I dreaming?

[astrogone]

Mona Sa’udi, from Women of the Fertile Crescent: An Anthology of Modern Poetry by Arab Women (ed. & trans. Kamal Boullata)

[Text ID: “I shatter in all my dimensions I multiply I take on shapes like water.”]

[astrogone]

smooches noble's cheek and ruffles Their hair 💝 - dahlia

At the gentle kiss on Their cheek, Noble gives out a soft toy squeak in surprise, quickly glancing away from Their book to stare at Dahlia, with widened starry eyes and vessel full of warmth that is dearly made by Dahlia’s affection. Though, They don’t mind the sudden contact, certainly not when They lean closer to her touch, wanting more from her as an absentminded smile spreads across Their face.

When Dahlia moves her hand away from Their messy hair, Their fingers quickly catch hers and locked them together. To feel her pulses right under Their palms, to know that she is still here despite everything, and to believe that the world is fortunate enough to even see her gentle lights, They sigh fondly before They pull her closer to Them, having her sit beside Them. A moment of admiring her passes by with a kiss on her forehead.

“We love you,” says the sky with its dying flames, the sun that descends to look after the other side of the world, the moon that crawls over to the side that Dahlia is in, who is now blessed with Their starlight above. Eventually, another kiss is given to her, but on the lips, kind and endearing, full of promises. This is what it means to be loved by the Universe. “We love you very much, Dahlia,” says Noble.

[astrogone]

𝐀 𝐇𝐔𝐅𝐅 𝐈𝐒 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑 𝐁𝐄𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐈𝐌. Exhaustion has already seeped into his bones, weight forms within as Epimetheus inhales annoyance. He had been struggling pushing the door to enter the mall for several seconds until a realization of having to pull it struck in the chaotic mind. ( Thankfully, it did in time, otherwise, he would had broken the door with his great strength. )

“I don’t like doors,” Epimetheus bluntly states the obvious, shaking his head with his hands clenched by his sides, holding back the desire to actually break any of those terrible doors nearby now that he is in the mall at last. “Why can’t we have automatic doors in... well, everywhere? It would save people like me some trouble,” he whines, as if that thought not being a part of the reality would bring the end to the world.

 ﹙✧﹚  :    ❝   OPEN​​   ❞    /   𝐼 𝐷𝑂 𝑁𝑂𝑇 𝐴𝐷𝑂𝑂𝑅 𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑆 𝐴𝑇 𝐴𝐿𝐿

[astrogone]

Iapetus is known to be the Titan of Mortality, including the mortal lifespan, so considering he is associated with time itself, his abilities centering that aspect must had been passed down to at least a few of his children with Clymene, which is shown only from Prometheus in various sources ( especially in Prometheus Bound ) as he is able to see the future through prophecies. He doesn’t seem to get them unless there will soon be a very particular event happening to him or those he interacts with, and he only uses it either to help / comfort others ( even though he is reluctant to share if the truth hurts, so he will share if only the other is highly certain to take the truth ) or to get himself out of an unpleasant situation he is stuck in ( mainly by telling his opponent part of their future that they may wish to know for an exchange of his freedom ).

Because Epimetheus is an identical twin brother to Prometheus, I like the idea that while Prometheus would see the future, Epimetheus can see the past through dreams. This usually happens if he experiences an event with someone, regardless of how close he is to them, only one time that had happened repeatedly or similarly in the past that can hold a significant history that would had greatly affected or changed them in any shape or form ( ex. being kissed by a loved one, then dreams of them kissing their previous lovers; seeing someone getting into a fight, then dreams of them in their previous fights; etcetera ). He wouldn’t ever use these information for his own gains like Prometheus, but unlike him, unless it’s a traumatic event, he is rather outspoken about the dreams he would get of others’ past events and would like to talk about them to others, out of curiosity or desire to help rather than malice, however.

Similar to Prometheus who can’t get the prophecies whenever he so pleases, these type of dreams would come to Epimetheus without his control, either he wants them or not. They are not something that Epimetheus can wake himself up from and can only be released once every events are played out in his mind, so he is literally trapped in them, even with the traumas or awkwardness that comes from the past memories he would be seeing. Depending on how long the series of past events would go on, he could be absent for more than an average hours of sleep, even for a whole day. To make himself remain awake for long can avoid the dreams, but the longer he avoids them, he gets more of these “flashes” of the past events every time he blinks, which is far worse for him to handle when the memories would come to him much more quicker and sharper, essentially harming him in every states.

[astrogone]

🐇 ( a golden star ) from Noble! uwu

give my muse a stuffed animal ! ( and she is going to adore it forever ! )

when the entity hands her the soft object , she gazes down at it , then noble , then the object. it was so .... it was so cuddly , and she already adored it so much.

she could be childlike when she wished to be , thus she brings it to her cheek to run down the skin , closing her hues that have become a gentle rose to show how much love she has for them contained in her ; even if she was terribly petite !

( they have the whole universe to handle , they have the whole population to worry about and fret about ; and yet , they adore me like their child. )

she begins to cry , clutching the gift close to her chest , rushing to them to be in their arms ; where she belonged , in any of their embraces. she buries her face in their garment , smiling as wide as can be.

“ t ---- thank you s --- sir , t ---- this is w ---- wonder ----- wonderful ! “ the words are muffled by the fabric they had donned , though she knows they heard.

( it is like all of them ! stars ! watching over everyone ; watching over me ..... )

[astrogone]

Prometheus would genuinely be curious to know and learn more of what would his creations had invented and would think of, so, in no doubt, he’d be interested in doing and learning about, well, everything.

[astrogone]

johnny + eyeliner

[astrogone]

I’m really sad to think that Death wouldn’t actually want to interact with Jack when he died, so this whole time, he tried to get to Heaven all by himself basically without being able to see much when he died having his entire head torn apart of his body, only to be rejected by God and got cast to Hell, and then got rejected by the Devil so he would be in the Neither for centuries...

[astrogone]

[astrogone]

“I’m going to make myself so obnoxious that not even Death will touch me.”

[astrogone]

Epimetheus 🤝 Hephaestus Being the outcast of their own race

[astrogone]

❝ @ mutuals, send me a 🍓 and I’ll compliment you! ❞     /     pt. 5

🍓 @apochestriia: Cynthia, oh my gosh, I am!? Honestly, the moment I went into your blog after you followed me, I was so shook thinking how could anyone so awesome like you even find my blog!? Though, yes, when I checked it out, I swear, everything about your blog just! Blew me away! The writings, aesthetics, the headcanons— again, just, everything about your blog are beyond incredible and inspiring. Vanya is my second favourite character of the show ( first being Klaus, heheh ), and it makes me extremely happy to see someone is so so passionate of her! Your passion in her is utterly beautiful and seeing the dedication you would put in analyzing and researching to grasp her character further and make her more realistic and developed than the show could ever do it? Don’t even know how you’re not part of the U.mbrella A.cademy team because, seriously, everything you do with her would bring a bit of tears in my eyes when there is so much love and appreciation from you, and Vanya deserves it all of them. I am beyond excited to make more memories with you and your lovely Vanya, and see more content from you. Even your funny ooc posts would make my day as I love your sense of humour, I hope you know that your work will always be loved and appreciated. <3

🍓 @dcdpool​: Antonia, I’m actually? Really happy that you sent me a strawberry for me to compliment you! I was going to send you a compliment on anon when you reblogged that “go on anon and tell me what you think of me” post thingy, but by the time I finished my ask just as I reached the word limit, I was honestly sad that you closed the anon option, which is highly understandable. Though I am beyond grateful to be given a chance now to give you some love because, truly, you are one of the sweetest and talented people I’ve ever met, and I want you to know that very much! I love how you love your mutuals, I love how you love Wade, I love how much time and effort you put in your work and thoughts. Even if they are something small, the passion you have still makes them shine, and I love that as well. You nail Wade’s character in every points there is, and reading your writings would always take my breath away. I can really hear Wade’s voice in his dialogue and being able to sense every emotions he would have in your work? It’s incredible and I just don’t know how you could pull it off so amazingly well. You are an absolute delight in my life and I am forever beyond grateful to had find your blog. <3

🍓 @olivierperrier​: Ki, you will never know how much joy I would get in doing anything with you! From writing with you to interacting to even just sharing something, you have always been a great light to my world. I will always enjoy what we have together and always be looking forward to more between us. You and Olivier easily made a home in me and my muses’, and, just? Gosh, I fucking adore you and Olivier so much!?!? I’m always eager to see any more content with Olivier because everything that you do with him? Always, always, is there passion in them, and I can never get enough of them from you. Olivier is such a darling, I just want to hug him! ( Though not as much as Ofioúchos, of course! ) Your writings are so so incredible and inspiring. I had said this before, but, once more do I have to say, but you just know how to place every bits of details in your work, and it is amazing how you are able to tug my emotions and feel so much over our muses. Your work is poetic. Also, the fact that you would be determined to learn a bit about my muses to get their characterization right? I wouldn’t even mind if you did get it wrong in your opinion because you would just want to put the best effort in your work, and just? Gosh, you are so damn talented and wonderful. I am forever beyond thankful that we had even met and you know I’m always more than happy to do anything more with us together. <3  

🍓 @seekesotsibteadmist: Kyrian, you again... I absolutely adore how chill our friendship is? You definitely give me the vibes of being chill, and it’s very refreshing since it’s just so nice for me to be able to come up to anyone like you you without feeling anxious or anything. I always enjoy reading your messages to me as I always look forward to waiting and reading your responses, that applying to in character content too. Seeing you on my dash never fails to bring light in my day and night. You’re very kind, sweet, and friendly— you just know how to get my heart and soul. It still amazes me how long you have your muses. They are incredibly developed in every edges and corners and I will always get delighted seeing anything from you with them. It’s wonderful how much I can feel their emotions through your writings and I can easily have this urge to... wanting to hug them because they’re so endearing. You have this talent of bringing life into the characters, and if you plan to write a book, better let me know because I would even pay to just hear your magnificent thoughts. Never forget that you are truly out of this world. <3