astroterror

[astroterror]

I AM NOW AT ROBOMOBOTO

if we're mutuals, I will follow back. Sorry for the trouble.

[astroterror]

okay. i am remaking my tumblr. i will post my new URL soon

[astroterror]

[astroterror]

[astroterror]

I never realized that Killer Croc is such an amazing boyfriend…….

[astroterror]

Ernest Hemingway: Write drunk, edit sober.

Me, a dumbass: Write while sleep deprived and heavily caffeinated at two am, no editing we die like men.

[astroterror]

i love bein laid on! idc if i cant breathe properly! kill me i love you and dont get up!

[astroterror]

a shallow and pretentious male narrator whos supposed to fall in love with a manic pixie girl takes a wrong turn, and bumps into another shallow and pretentious male narrator, they fall in love instead

[astroterror]

[astroterror]

Chuck Wendig is not here for writing ultimatums. 

[astroterror]

[astroterror]

i got the most relatable spam email

[astroterror]

please do yourself a favor and date the biggest fckn nerd u can get ur hands on

[astroterror]

me, crouched down in front of my tomato plants, examining a pattern of insect bites on their lower leaves: i’m going to fucking kill whoever did this. i’m going to kill them for you. don’t worry, babies. I’m going to murder every single son of a bitch who ever got a mouthful of you. they’ll die screaming

my neighbor, who i did not realize was also outside, standing behind the fence: oh! okay. you’re talking to the plants. okay.

[astroterror]

I don’t throw around the phrases “the worst thing I’ve ever made” or “abomination before God” very lightly, so believe me when I say this is both of those and also a mistake

I present to you Mr. Sandman, but the opening clapping is uncomfortably meaty and plays throughout the whole song

[astroterror]

me: I’m a non-binary girl.

friend: okay but you still have a man’s body

me: you’re right we should probably bury this dead guy instead of talking about gender

friend: i’ll get the shovels

[astroterror]

i want to be given verbal encouragement by a dog who speaks in a deep otherworldly voice