atheautistic

[atheautistic]

To an angry Atheist,

Jonathan, I've noticed that you have a lot of anger that is directed at the church. Just an observation. A true one, i think you'll agree. Not that you don't have cause, of course.

What i want you to remember is that it doesn't matter that you taught people that there were justifications for slavery. You can't change that.

You can't change the fact that you held a belief that LGBTQIA+ folk were probably just mentally ill, despite lots of evidence that its not mental illness. Or that, worse, they somehow choose who to be attracted to.

You can't change that you taught terrible lessons to your children and other people's children. That you taught them to deny evidence and that believing things without evidence is not only ok, but preferred.

You can't change that you taught people that god is good, when his actual nature is quite obviously awful.

Of course, knowing you can't change things is not enough to assuage the pain and anger. So what CAN we do? We need a paradigm shift i think. What i think you need to remember is that despite what they say, religions and faiths are not people. Its how people think. Try to remember that they may have come to those beliefs through indoctrination. That's hard to overcome. Even you are still realizing ways in which you STILL have backwards thinking.

What i'm saying here is that we can't be mad at the people right? That may not be fair. Most christians believe they are doing good. They have to be shown a different perspective, just like you got.

So, when the time is right to engage in the topics of faith, try to remember how scary the idea of being wrong is to a person who believes that they CAN’T be wrong. To the mind of many theists, admitting any flaw in the scriptures or Christian morality threatens to unravel their whole faith. And you know how god treats those who doubt… They know this instinctively and will scramble to somehow justify the belief to avoid god’s displeasure. The problem with that is that most Christians are not great critical thinkers because they have been taught the opposite of critical thinking. At least as it relates to their Faith. Because of that, many arguments you give may trigger very strong emotions that results from cognitive dissonance. This makes it really hard to hear reason.

Arguments should be gentle, kind and earnest. Letting your anger and distain for faith show through in your words and body language is only counter productive. People don't want to be told they are wrong. You can help them figure it out though. Just remember that you're a humanist now. That means you care about people right? You cannot afford to be judgemental about theists. You can't teach people you are judging. That's religion's neighborhood.

Remember who you're ACTUALLY mad at. You. Don't punish others for what you did. Help them.

[atheautistic]

What a lonely place atheism is.... i never really understood what it would mean to cast aside my faith for reason. Not that i had a choice really.

Did you know that people think belief is a totally voluntary process? I would suggest that it is not. I doubt people can help what they believe for the most part.

I mean, belief is accepting an idea or concept as true without sufficient evidence to prove it. This is a useful trait much of the time and saves the brain a lot of time by just making leaps of faith. Usually those leaps are small, and keep actions and conversations moving along without a bunch of strife and arguments. For example:

Bob: "I went to work today"

Jim: "cool."

No reason for Jim to question it really. It's not a huge leap, so Jim makes the hop and the convo continues.

Bob: "yeah, i hopped on a broom and flew there in like 2 minutes!"

Jim: "You, hopped on a broom and flew there?"

Now things are about to go sideways right?

That's because peoples brains can't make that jump quite so easily. Because it's a fantastic claim with no evidence, Jim's next question is likely to be highly skeptical.

So how do people end up believing things that are fantastic? Lots of ways.

Firstly, until somewhat recently, critical thinking has always taken a bit of a backseat to religion. Learning how to think critically is a skill. And it takes work to hone that skill. Many people find it easier to make the leap than spend time critically thinking.

Second, cultural indoctrination. It's really easy to believe fantastic things as long as everyone else in your circle does too. You don't feel quite as silly. Or silly at all.

Third, you may have been taught as a child to believe it. The perfect technique for the church to make new converts from the outset. Children believe pretty much whatever you tell them until they start learning to think critically, which most fundamental/evangelical/conservative theist parents will discourage. Religion doesn't want you thinking for yourself you know!

Fourth, opportunity. Maybe you started going to church to see what is was about. The greeters and pastor made you feel special and cared for. They break you down a bit by explaining what a shit you are, and that they have an answer. Isn't that what you were looking for?

Fifth: continuing indoctrination. Once you're in, it's easy to keep you in. Your new church will serve as family and friends who will constantly remind you of how great Jesus is, or how debased you are, or how awesome god is for killing all the philistines, men, women, children and even the damn cows. (What the fuck did the cows do?!) not only that, but they'll help you with interpreting the scriptures. They will constantly reinforce the habit of prayer because as an act of faith, its one of the most powerful tools of religion. Prayer creates a mindset where you are now preparing your mind to accept any coincidence as gods will. You are expecting it. So of course, you see it. Easy.

There's more ways, but that's enough to make my point. Those five concepts alone are more than adequate to keep most people in the dark for their whole lives.

Belief is kind of like that wall putty you get to fill the nail holes in your walls. It doesn't fix the holes, it just covers them up. Until it doesn't anymore.

Let's be real guys. Faith is just easier. If you don't know or understand something, you can just believe it. No muss no fuss.

Problem is that as i was studying pentecostal apologetics, i learned stuff about the faith that made my skin crawl. Stuff i had accepted as ok. Horrible things. Doesn't matter what they are really. Suffice it to say that i am actually ashamed of some of the views i espoused.

So, why so lonely? Because atheists are pretty rare. None of my peers are atheists. Including my wife. (Not that it's bad she's a theist. She's my favorite theist and i won't disabuse her of her comfort. ) i know two atheists personally and both are lifelong atheists who don't understand why I'm making such a big deal of it. Because they never believed it.

I can't discuss my new worldview with my peers or loved ones because it would almost certainly result in the loss of many of my relationships. So, here i sit, blogging cause its the only thing i can really do to get it out.

This fucking sucks.

[atheautistic]

No reason...

[atheautistic]

Why not know everything you can?!

One thing I’ve always loved about my adult self is my love of learning new things. My AuDHD brain contributes greatly to me being a “jack of all trades” so to speak. I have varied and disparate interests that I'm certain make little sense to the objective observer.

I've had many experiences where people have been stunned and amused to discover that i have certain skills or talents. Like when my wife discovered, quite accidentally, that i had once been a clown. I had clown TRAINING. She was stunned. Maybe you are too.

I guess I've always been a little confused about why people seem so confused about this. At first, i wondered if it was because people thought i was not the sharpest tool in the shed. I disregarded that one pretty quickly. I've been told I've had “potential” all my life. Despite how dispicible those sentiments feel to me now, they do nonetheless suggest that i am intelligent. Also, anyone who thinks I'm unintelligent should be pleased to suffer the full extent of my intellectual wrath in a debate on a subject of their choosing. *mic drop*

My second notion was that maybe it wasn't “typical” to have varied interests like i do. I think there is some truth to this one. Many ADHD folk have pretty short attention spans. We know this instinctively. But the fun thing gives us dopamine for NOW. So, we CRAM as much learning in as possible before the first swells of boredom start to leech our joy again. Then Find The next Thing. The most ridiculous of us can actually discover new obsessions while in the throes of another.

My third idea was that perhaps people just weren't as curious as i am. I HAVE to know things. When i have an obsession going, it's difficult to sleep. Can’t stop thinking about it and analyzing it. So, LOTS of my time is spent learning the thing. Doing the thing. So, i guess we cross a lot of experiential distance!

I hope no one thinks I'm complaining here. I love the fact that i have such a wide array of skills. It's like having a multi tool in your mind. Also, it's often very amusing and gratifying to see the looks on people's faces when you bust out some random skill not many people have.

I do wish i could spend more time on the things that i become enamored of before becoming bored of them. But not much more. And i certainly wouldn't give up any skills I've learned already!

No! Dash it all, i shall learn it all! As long as my brain matter keeps working as it should, i shall be a sponge of knowledge! Hopefully, i will eventually learn a thing that becomes the Big Thing that i can use to help the world be a better place. That would be cool.

[atheautistic]

What even is atheism?

I've started to learn that loads of people out there have no idea what atheism actually is.

Although there are many different views amongst atheists, you can put most of them into the “i don't believe in a god or gods” category.

For the most part, this covers it. Where it gets interesting is how the atheists themselves classify their own, well, atheism. There are also varying degrees of commitment to atheism. So here's some of the other views you could have as an atheist:

Gnostic Atheist: This type of atheist generally affirmatively states that God does not exist or cannot exist. They say that the lack of evidence for god's existence is evidence enough to definitively say that no deitys exist. Hard line atheism at its finest!

Agnostic Atheist: it's likely that this is the most common view amongst atheists. The agnostic atheist does not claim that god doesn't exist, just that there is not enough evidence to believe he does. It's a fine distinction, but an important one. The atheism of choice for many of the science-minded amongst us.

Anti-theist: this sinister looking one sounds a lot worse than it really is. The anti-theist really just falls into one of the above categories, but also thinks that religion serves no good purpose and is often quite bad. Or at least, more trouble than it's worth. I haven't done the work to prove it, but I think it might be reasonable to at least hypothesize that many atheist activists are probably from this camp.

Religious atheist: This one is my favorite, because it's hilarious. The religious atheist does not believe in any gods… except their own. Perhaps Stephen F. Roberts said it best when he wrote the following quote: "I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do.”

So, what's the point, you ask? I dunno. I thought you wanted to know…

[atheautistic]

Making a Rock Garden

I had no idea how much fun it could be to have christians come to my door on a Saturday morning until i became an atheist!

A young woman came to the door with her family in tow (very cute kids btw. I think it was hubby's job to watch the kidlets, so i didn't get to talk to him much.

We had a very pleasant conversation. She asked me how i came to be an atheist. Now, if you're a theist, i don't recommend that question. It's an invitation for that atheist to preach, and you definitely don't want that. Not if you like your faith. But, i was sweet, don't worry! Here's the condensed version: Christian for 38 years, learned stuff, doubts, logic problems, learned more stuff, atheist.

Then she asked, "So you don't believe in the Bible?" It was so damn cute. I don't think she'd ever spoken with an atheist before. I kindly let her know that the Bible is a collection of books written by men, translated by men, interpreted by man. I further pointed out that based on the fact that no religion agrees with another, there is no reason to assume that any of the texts they choose for the remaining 66 (72 for you catholics out there!) books of the bible are the inspired word of god, assuming he exists at all.

She sweetly took this criticism and didn't take the bait. It was probably too big a topic to tackle. I think she got the idea that'd I'd done some thinking about that already. She's an excellent tactician! She knew I wanted to go down that road. Honestly, by this time, i think she had figured out she wasn't going to get me, so she switched tactics and went right for the Hail Mary. The infamous christian mental terror attack!

"Jonathan, you have insurance on your car right? Don't you think you should have a heavenly insurance policy for your soul?"

Guys... The abject pain of holding in my mirth almost killed me. Also, ANGER. I mean, this seems awfully similar to extortion right? "Hey, you don't want all this to burn up right? Our little organization can help you wit' dat. Just 10% of your income my man."

Well, i don't pay rent, punk.

But, reason prevailed. I thanked her very sweetly for caring about my soul. Then i told her that her premise was flawed because you can't really analogize anything to God, because there's nothing like him right?

When all i got was a confused look, i told her that i KNOW i need insurance for the car i KNOW exists because i have EVIDENCE that driving can result in accidents that i cannot afford to pay for. Therefore i have car insurance. I haven't seen anything indicating that i need to waste my time and money on an insurance policy that will keep your God from torturing me for eternity for my finite crimes.

I told her she was referring to Pascal's wager which essentially says that it's safer to just believe, in case hell is real. Which is impossible for me because i CANNOT believe without evidence. I'm interested in truth, not fantasy. I also mentioned that if god were to exist, I'm sure he would know i wasn't fond of him. Which wouldn't be very safe for me, would it?

That was the death knell of hope for my soul in her mind I'm sure. She didn't really know what to say, so she sweetly wished me a good day, and left with the kiddos while i wished them better luck.

Although that visit didn't go the way she had hoped, most good christians assuage the worry of that failure by reminding themselves that they planted the seeds of faith in my mind. Problem is that my brain is much too complicated and logical for faith to survive there. I have Many Questions.

But the Christian plays a dangerous game when trying to sow the seeds of faith in the stony minds of atheists recovering from religious trauma. I think that a strange sort of psychological Locarde's exchange principal1 happens during productive discourse. It's a sharing of ideas, isn't it? So i get to plant things in her garden too. My beautiful rocks...

Rock 1: A 38 year Christian fell from the Faith, but seems happy. Says he feels free...

Rock 2.: everything that guy said was with authority and i couldn't challenge him (that's important to theists)

Rock 3-6 : He pointed out logical problems i don't know the answer to.

Rock 7: This man is clearly educated. He seemed to suggest that learning led him away from the faith. Why is that the educated people are often atheists?

Rock 8 - 12: He pointed out several times that God adds no explanatory or predictive power for understanding the world around us. God is not necessary to explain anything. I couldn't refute it.

Its just a few pebbles of course. But pretty good sized ones!

One day i hope she'll see them, and see how real they are. How beautiful they are. I hope she gets more of them. I Hope she gets some training and comes back for round two so i can sow some more rocks. I hope they slowly choke the weeds of faith that have taken over her mind and finally set her free from the ugly overgrowth of religion. Hopefully, she'll end up with a beautiful rock garden too!

1. Locarde's exchange principal is usually applied to forensic science, so it's not a perfect analogy I'm afraid. But the idea is that; everything that makes contact with another thing leaves evidence of that contact on each thing. So, i touch a surface, which i leave a fingerprint on, and my finger gets dust on it from the surface.

[atheautistic]

Do you think it's strangely poetic, or pointedly ironic how much i want to read the Bible now that I'm an Atheist?

[atheautistic]

I have ALWAYS wanted to say "abrahamic ham sandwich" but can never seem to find the right time..

[atheautistic]

Although the first meme seems like a nice sentiment, it must be categorically false as it completely violates the first commandment. Why? Well, as an atheist i have no gods period. I think that one could reasonably assume my lack of faith is covered by this law. And we all know what god does to those who can't believe! 🔥🔥🔥🔥 i wouldn't call that love exactly.

The second meme below it however is dead on and also applies to God as he clearly (by punishing humans for eating from the tree of knowledge) doesn't want us thinking for ourselves and thus, is definitely not our friend.

Change my mind.

[atheautistic]

Pressured Faith

At the risk of saying something obvious, I think that peer pressure is a major factor causing people to become theists and stay theists.

Becoming a theist

I think it's important to note here that not one person living on earth today decided there is a god solely from personal experience. Not even you! You were told that there is. And you decided that since you trust this person, you will believe them, or at least be willing to listen more. That's the seed of faith.

I know it seems like I'm oversimplifying a bit here, but I'm not. You can come to religion as a child, a teen or an adult, but the origin is the same. I'm sure there are a few who read the scriptures and decided to become theists too, but again, since the Bible is written by man, this is still getting the idea of god from man.

Now that we've established that the revelation of god in the modern world comes from man, we can see how we become theists in the first place. People we trust tell us something and we believe them. Much like when parents fool their children into believing in Santa or the tooth fairy. Of course, no adult believes in those things anymore right? Well, that brings us to yet another question. Why not?

Staying a theist

You probably stopped believing it because some more enlightened little guy on the playground laughed at you for believing in Santa Claus and made you feel stupid. He probably told the whole school, who also participated in making you feel stupid. You might have even gotten into a physical fight about it and got sent home (that seems oddly specific, don't it?) But the truth is that for me, I knew that little jerk was probably right. And I did feel stupid. Peer pressure killed that belief.

Now, the belief in Santa is a simple example of a flimsy religion that is easily falsifiable. That's why nobody but children believe it. Their brains haven't really figured out that people they trust will lie to them for their own purposes. They just accept what you tell them. But once a child becomes aware of the possibility that Santa is not real, Occam's razor kicks in, and bang! No more faith in Santa. At least, that's how it happened in my brain.

Christianity is the same. The only difference here is that there's still tons of people that do still believe in god, including reasonable seeming adults. So nobody feels silly about continuing the fantasy. At the risk of exposing my geekiness, it's kinda like playing DND for the first time. At first you feel real silly, but when you realize everyone there is having the same fantasy, it suddenly feels much less silly and becomes fun! The difference here is, of course, that the DND players know the experience they are having is fantasy.

In addition, theists continue to refine and tweak the religion thing into various forms that people will accept to ensure their faith does not die. We can see examples of this throughout the Bible itself, without mentioning the hordes of other historical and anthropological evidence. I have to say it theists; Religion evolves to survive.

So we can see that religion and faith are simply constructs of man and that your beliefs are influenced by others. I can give another example of this.

As a Christian, when you are feeling doubts, what are you supposed to do? Talk to the pastor/priest right? Go to church more. You know why? Because that's where the other like minded people are. I think most Christians would agree that if you stop going to church, it will harm your faith. That's a fact.

Lets talk about why it harms your faith. Because learning, diversity, and tolerance is the enemy of many faiths/religions. The more exposure you have to other opinions, other cultures, and other theories, the more questions will arise in your mind. Questions are not good for many religions. Cognitive dissonance becomes more common amongst the more secularly educated theists.

Finally, here's another example of pressured faith that made me sad.

Yesterday, i was listening to a podcast and there was a poor caller who wanted to come out to his parents as an atheist. Problem is, he probably never will, because he is a Muslim with traditionalist parents. Obviously, he must live a less authentic life because his parents will not handle it well and he may literally find himself in danger. So, even though he's an atheist, he’s gotta fake it to make it. Peer pressure. Just awful.

Here's what i think we should do about this.

Stop lying to children. Why perpetuate the Santa claus thing? How happy were you as a child when you found out it was a lie? I felt idiotic. And betrayed. And learned that it was ok to lie in order to manipulate others, by the way. Anyway, the important thing to ask yourself is: why is the lie important to tell? I'll tell you if you want to know, just hit me up. Also, think about how much we could all save around Christmas time if we did away with that ridiculous myth.

Stop worrying about your children learning things. If your religion is so flimsy that it can't withstand a little questioning, maybe it's not as great as you think it is.

Expose thyself to diversity. The more you know about other cultures and people, the harder it is to hate or fear them.

Anyway guys, sorry about the long rant. Feel free to give feedback, shade, notes, reblogs if you like!

[atheautistic]

My wife and I were doing a bible study last night and we experienced the most amazing revelation about the passage Genesis 16:12!

“And he will be a wild man; his hand will be against every man, and every man's hand against him; and he shall dwell in the presence of all his brethren.”

‭‭Is it possible that Ishmael was gay? He was a Bear guys!

[atheautistic]

Hey guys, welcome back to Atheisms. Clearly You are gluttons for punishment. I feel like i might have run long the last couple of times, so i shall try to keep things brief!

I wanted to post this one for my loved ones that may be stalking my tumblr profile actually. Firstly, if that's you, welcome! i think you're awesome and brave to come read this. I allow anonymous questions on this blog too, so you can ask whatever you want without anyone knowing. But i don't pull punches here and i speak my mind in its entirety. This is my thinking place, so be prepared to hear my thoughts!

I think that Theists (people who believe in a God of some sort) often worry very much about the people in their lives that turn out to be agnostic or atheist. Being a former Christian, I have a pretty good idea what those worries might be. Here's a couple of specific worries they will likely have.

Fear that my immortal soul is in jeopardy of spending an eternity of unrelenting suffering in literal darkness and flames where i will burn without dying for crimes that are finite (and minor). In essence, the Theist (christian) believes that their God will torture me for eternity. Not destroy me, (that would be better for me obviously) just torture me. For no purpose other than revenge. No wonder you're afraid! I'm sorry that God feels that's necessary. Not sure what i could have done to deserve all that. Is it just because my AuDHD brain has a hard time accepting fantastic claims that have no testable or verifiable evidence? Well, hopefully I'M correct and I'll just get to stop existing!

Fear that, now that i no longer believe in God, somehow my moral fortitude will collapse, sending me, anyone close to me, and those in my care into the depths of sin and despair. Now, if that's you, i gotta tell you that's really hurtful. But, i don't blame you exactly. You worry about that because the church has pushed upon you the belief that only The Church knows what's right and wrong, when they clearly have no idea themselves. They can't even seem to all agree if the LGBTQ+ community are actually really human beings that should have rights or not. Not sure why we're relying on the guidance of an organization that is clearly exclusionary, bigoted, theocratic, endorses (yes, still) slavery, and whose highest figures of moral authority have been found guilty of awful sexual crimes against the most vulnerable demographics in the world, all over the world! (Can you read that last sentence out loud in one breath?) i think we can find a better standard for morality then that.

Fear that the person they love will suffer some kind of reprisals for their (in this case,) non-belief. This is, of course, a valid concern. Atheists are amongst the most disliked people in the world according to an article written for scientific American By Daisy Grewal on January 17, 2012 (https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/in-atheists-we-distrust/)

4. Finally, it may cross the mind of a caring theist that the person is choosing to be rebellious against god, essentially throwing an existential temper tantrum. The problem they have with this is that many theists believe and fear a God of tough love who will:

A. punish me in some inscrutable, or perhaps even supernatural, way (see point #1)

B. Just let me fail in some spectacular way that is likely to harm me.

Also, this suggests that the atheist is childish in his non-belief, which is also pretty insulting. Especially when you consider what children are known to believe in.

Those are just some of the reasons why loving theists worry about their apostate loved ones. Isn't it sad that most of these concerns are actually a fear of what their god might do? What does that say about Him? A lot, i would say...

Listen, don't worry about me Fam! If God really is in control, and he doesn't want to have to toss me in the lake of fire, He definitely knows how to get ahold of me, right? Even with my free will intact, there should be a way for a being such as Him to reach me right? So what's to worry about? God says he didn't want anyone to perish right? So if he exists, I'm sure he'll straighten me out somehow, despite my great learning! (Obscure tongue in cheek bible reference.)

Happy questioning!

[atheautistic]

God's arms are open whenever you come back home. There is no sin bigger than God's grace. <3

That is so sweet! But how do you rationalize that sentiment with Matthew 12:31? I feel like my first two blog posts alone qualify as blasphemy. And i definitely, and in my heart, meant to do so when i alluded (a little facetiously i might add) to Faith and the Comforter as a band-aid to hide the truth. I'm curious to know if there's a way out for me now that I've clearly blasphemed the Holy Spirit!

EDIT: I'm sorry, I'm teasing you a little. I wanted to make this edit because i realized something as i was thinking about your response. I think you helped me discover what blasphemy of the Holly spirit really means. It's not saying hateful or disrespectful about God that gets you in trouble. It's a lack of faith. That's the sin He can't forgive! I talk about this in my latest post btw... check it out!

[atheautistic]

Today i would like to talk about something that has been bugging me for awhile. I call it the Farce of Faith.

What's the definition of Faith? If you ask a Christian, they will likely refer to Hebrews 11:1, which essentially says that the very fact that people believe is, in itself, evidence of some thing that can't be seen or proven. This is fallacious reasoning that must be discarded because belief in something doesn't make it true. And just because a lot of people were convinced about religious beliefs or supernatural phenomena that someone else believed in, that still doesn't mean it's true.

So before we talk too much more about whether or not faith is good, I feel like I should tell you where I think faith came from. I think it's likely that faith developed as a result of our intellect's development. I like to imagine that the first true Adam was the first primate to wonder Why? It would probably have literally been the invention of the question and reason.

Here's the problem: early humans didn't know the answers and, worse, no way to know how to find them. And many of these questions would've been very important in their minds. Why does the earth shake? What do forest fires come from? What is that terrifying sound in the sky? How does water fall from the sky? How does it get up there? Humans don't like not knowing the answer to things. So, just like we still do, they made up an explanation people were satisfied with. Likely things that made them feel safe.

So, just as a bonus point, religion is essentially humanity's first attempt at science. Ironic isn't it?

What I think many people don't realize is that Faith is not actually necessary at all unless you're claiming or trying to believe something that seems fantastic.

For example, if I said to you, “I went to work yesterday” you would likely just accept the truth of it. It's not a fantastic claim. But, if I followed it up with “when I was there, I saw a huge clown 50 feet tall walking down the street juggling cars.” Would you believe that? Obviously not. But why?

Well, I'm gonna tell you why. Because of Occam’s Razor. If you're not familiar with Occam's razor, the short explanation is, the simplest answer is usually the correct one. In the clown example, you might be wanting to have me psychologically evaluated because the simplest answer to this would be that I have lost my mind.

Now the interesting thing about occam's razor is, when mishandled It can still cut. Here's how that happens.

Faith breeds faith and that's partially because of a mishandling of Occam's razor. People assume that because so many people believe it, that it must be true because that seems to be the simplest answer to why so many people believe a fantastic thing. But what they don't realize is that it's only the simplest answer if it can actually BE an answer. Fantastic claims aren't answers. They are just claims.

So, clearly belief and faith doesn't prove anything guys. It also doesn't do anything externally. And if anybody ever tells you you weren't healed because of your faith, that person is absolutely wrong. I mean, asking a god no one even knows exists for healing seems like Faith to me. So, let me assure you my Christian friends, if you're praying, you have faith. That's just one of those troublesome religious beliefs and doctrines that stuck in my craw. A mustard seed's worth of faith seems awfully small, but i don't see a lot of mountains relocating themselves. I mean how much faith do you need to heal someone then? Much less i would imagine. Like microns of a mustard seed? Is the church really suggesting that mustard seed microns worth of faith are so rare? I feel like there should be enough faith on the planet to cure cancer at least, right? It's just a failure of cells to stop reproducing. Seems like a simple fix for such a powerful thing as faith to solve.

Seems a little disingenuous and insulting to me. Keeps everyone feeling guilty and trying hard to be more faithful. Interesting to note that it also conveniently explains away why people can't do miracles, or why you weren't actually healed by the faith healer that time. Or why your car ran out of gas even though you were convinced that God would get you home. Yes, all those things happened to me. Because of my lack of faith? I don't think so. Every one of those examples are, by definition, acts of faith. If the Church is suggesting that our faith is weak, maybe we should ask why. Maybe its just really hard to believe in what seems like fantasy. Maybe instead of blaming creation, we should blame the creator. If i build a machine that fails to work, we don't blame the machine right? Obviously the design is flawed. But i digress.

I think that the question is, should you have faith? Why stifle the curiosity of humans? Why substitute your intellect for the acceptance of fantasy? If you have a question about something, ask it. Ask multiple people the same question and see what they say. And if you don't feel like you should, ask yourself why that might be? Are you worried about divine reprisals or what your loved ones and friends will think of you if you question? Why would they be upset about it? Questioning is how you actually find the truth of things.

Religions serve people succor by providing them with incredible claims of a powerful but loving father who’s got it all figured out for us already. Oh, and also, death is temporary, so you don't have to worry about that anymore. Oh, and those people you're angry with because they wronged you? Forget the law, those people will go to an eternal punishment for their finite crimes after they die! Oh, also, that eternal punishment thing actually applies to anyone who doesn't believe the same things as us. Even if you love them. That sure is a nasty tasting pacifier.

I know that I'm being a little flippant here, but it sounds troublesome when framed that way, right? How did you feel when you read it? Why? If it made you angry, why? Probably because it reminds you of those troublesome issues you don't like to think about. Maybe because it feels disrespectful to God, but does he need your help? I can't hurt His feelings can I? I mean, I've been there guys. I know how it feels.

Faith has served as a tool for religions and politicians to control people and what they think and do for thousands of years. That's a fact. Anytime a politician mentions faith or religion from the pulpit, it is for one reason only. To suggest to their constituents that they are worthy of trust because they are a person of faith. So that whatever follows in their speech will be accepted. On faith. In a politician. Usually, trustworthy people don't need to convince people to trust them.

So, i guess it would be fair to cross examine myself here. Is there a good side to faith? Does it have any value? Good question. I think that most would argue that faith has been responsible for many good things like Catholic charities, and so on, but there are also many secular charities that don't discriminate based on faith.

My answer for now would be thus: As long as everyone’s faith keeps its hands off everyone else, and its not faith that denies reason, then i guess it's ok. I hesitate to say its good because it's still tastes like a lie.

My Christian faith was nothing more than a pacifier that i nursed on when i remembered or realized hard truths. I rested on it when i was tired of asking questions i couldn't find real answers for. So if you need a security blanket, go for it.

I gotta say though, accepting certain concepts have actually helped me to find comfort. We’ll definitely talk about those concepts in another post.

I find meaning in my contemplation of the universe and in my experiences and relationships with others. I don't need faith for that.

The funniest part about this whole thing is that Faith cannot stand the test of reason because faith includes, by definition, doubt. You can't believe in something and know it at the same time. You either know it to be true or accept it to be true. Christians believe God exists, but they don't know it. They can't know it because of thier own doctrine of faith that says that christians are blessed when they don't know for sure he exists. This is how some religions use faith to control you. By suggesting that those with reason and questions are not as good as people who just accept fantastic claims. On faith. Theres an example inJohn 20:29, in case you need a reference.

In conclusion, even though faith may have provided an evolutionary advantage in the past, i think that our intellect and reasoning skills have evolved past the point where faith was helpful. We would be much better served by focusing on what we actually know or want to know. Faith and religion has been known to hamper the advancement of knowledge and science ever since the trial of Galileo, but probably before that. It's definitely been involved in, if not the reason for, so much genocide, murder, rape and slavery that i think maybe it's time to try something else.

Keep questioning!

[atheautistic]

Hey everybody!

So, i think an introduction's in order here. My name is Jonathan and i am a fairly new atheist. I am a slightly Queer Nurse, married, and have a number of kids (about 8 at last count) that are all adults now. Maybe i should just tell the story of my religious journey and how i came to atheism.

Without going into too much detail, i became a Christian at 18 years old. To be honest, it was mostly the influence of my high school best friend. At that time, i did believe that there was something out there, but i wasn't sure what it would be. I did some occult stuff/magic at that time and was fully convinced that the spirit world at least existed. It was probably that stuff that prompted my friend to lead me to the faith. Cause i don't remember him bringing up Christianity until i mentioned that i was living in a haunted house. (Still not totally sure it wasn't, lol)

My friend suggested that i read the bible. He thought i might find what i was looking for there regarding my interest in the spirit world. So, my ADHD brain kicked in and i read the thing from front to back in a matter of days. I devoured it alongside other books on paarapsychology and ghosts. Now, i DO remember having issues with the bible even then, but my bestie was pretty good at apologetics and i put aside my concerns for later consideration. I mean, i could die at any moment right? Better get right quick!

So, i "got saved," started going to youth group, church, and even started going to church with my parents. Speaking of my parents, i should probably mention that my mom and step father are the pastors of a pentecostal church. The church my friend was taking me to was a non-denominational Protestant church of some sort. So i got a decent range of protestant church experiences.

Anyway, i went along being a Christian for about the next 23+ years or so. I picked up a wife and a bunch of kids along the way, and we trained them up in the way a child should go. That is to say according to the faith. Towards the last two years of that time, my late wife was diagnosed with cancer. I know what you're thinking if you are a Christian! I got mad at God because my wife got sick. Not the case at all.

The truth of it was that i had already begun to seriously question many things that the church and bible had to say. So i started studying apologetics and the scriptures more fervently, trying to reconcile many, many troublesome passages, policies and views that i had been taught by the church. I was seriously troubled by the fact that i was unable to rationalize them. I could explain them away using standard Christian rhetoric, but it seemed too much like avoidance and dishonesty. It was at that time that i decided that maybe the bible isn't really the infallible text christians claim it to be. Worse, i was finding it more and more difficult to rationalize certain beliefs the church holds when challenged on them. Stuff like homosexuality, abortion, etc for example.

Now, as a good Christian, i KNEW i was having a crisis of faith, so I prayed about it. A LOT. For years. Like probably at least once a day, and whenever i ran into another troublesome passage or question. I think everyone can guess what i heard from the Lord... Not a thing.

One day, during a particularly unpleasant day of chemo for my late wife, i remember needing comfort in a really bad way. The grief was monstrous because my analytic mind had already figured out how this illness was going to play out. I couldn't confide in her about it, because she had so much hope and i couldn't and wouldn't disabuse her of that. So, during that visit, i told her that i was going to get a massage like she suggested (i probably looked super stressed). Instead, i went to the chapel to seek Him and ask Him for his Comforter to descend upon me. I spent nearly an hour in there on my arthritic knees. Nothing happened. I felt nothing but pain. No comforting presence walking me through the shadow of death. No random stranger with kind and wise words. No feeling of His presence. Nothing. Not that i was expecting a release from pain, but any kind of comfort would have been nice.

It was that moment i realized that nothing happened and i felt nothing because there IS nothing to comfort me. It kind of crashed in on me all at once. Every inconsistency, every awful passage about God sanctioned mass murder and slavery. Every argument that more clear headed skeptics had thrown my way. The vast loneliness of the universe. All that ran through my head like a freight train. I thought i would be crushed by the grief and pain when i realized that not only was my wife going to die, i would NEVER see her again. I felt like i was going to die right then. Sobbing, i got up, walked down the aisle and in a fit of rage, threw the crucifix onto the floor. I thought briefly of destroying it utterly, but decided against it. Even though in that moment i became an infant atheist i wasn't ready to go whole hog just yet. And i wasn't willing to attack the faith in a way that would interfere with others finding the succor i so desperately sought. Instead, i just stared at the crucifix for a while, angry about all the time and money i had wasted on the Farce of Faith. I was furious about all the terrible ideas i had espoused to my children. Ashamed that i had believed in something that was now so clearly fantasy. Then i pulled myself together as best i could and left the chapel.

Very shortly after that i had the first and worst of many panic attacks. We thought it was a heart attack (I remember thinking how ironic Christians would think it was for me to die right after becoming an apostate. It actually amused me a little) but it wasn't. It turns out that existential crisis can bring on a little fear with it! And since I'm an anxious person anyway, it certainly didn't help. So many things had changed for me that i couldn't share with anyone. In the midst of my spouse's illness i had to keep playing church. Do you have any idea how galling it is to be surrounded by Christians when you are a closet atheist? It's kind of torture. But you can't tell your dying spouse that there is no heaven right? Seems like cruelty.

I didn't share my revelation with anyone until i posted it on facebook a couple weeks ago. I couldn't. I still try to walk softly around Christians and their faith because existential crises are unpleasant at best and deadly at the worst. Mine was incredibly unpleasant and i wouldn't want to do it to anyone. That's why i started this blog to be honest. So that I'm not posting this on facebook where it will cause more drama than I'm interested in experiencing. I guess I'm just hoping people who are questioning will find it. I know humanity needs to eventually do away with religion as a whole. But it is definitely not something that can happen overnight. Any activism on the part of atheism should be gentle, in my opinion.

By way of confession, not even my new wife knew about how i really felt until pretty recently as well. Much to my shame, i taught my new wife things about Christianity from my wealth of theological knowledge and years of service in the church. To woo her of course. She was a Catholic (although she would say not a great one, ha ha!) at the time and I wanted her to like me. Gonna have to apologize for that manipulation later i think. (Update: She took it very lovingly. She suggests that it's possible that she was just following along with the crowd, and forgave me instantly. Damn, she's a good woman.)

Anyways, i eventually realized that being a closet atheist was almost worse than just being an atheist. Because at least this way, I'm being honest. And isn't honesty the best policy anyway? Totally. So, now I'm honest about it. I talk to wifey about it now, but i try not to exhort too much.

So, that's where i stand now. I hesitate to give an idea of what this blog will focus on, because i know i may lose interest, but it will probably mostly be about my journey of religious deconstruction and philosophical studies. Or maybe i'll just pick an interesting topic and wrote an article. I dunno.. If that sounds like something you're interested in, welcome! If you wanna help me see the light, welcome! I will try to answer all comments!