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[atomic-thomas]

(Fake ASMR Commission) Your Meteorologist Wife Talks About Tornadoes

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“The Suck Zone… It’s the point… Basically at which the twister… Sucks you up.” *she says to herself quietly as she quotes the movie that she’s watching*

…

“Oh, hi honey. Windy day out there. Seriously, it’s really blowing today."

…

“Yeah, I’m watching Twister again… For the 100th time.”

…

“It’s not my fault that it’s so good. It’s literally my favorite movie of all time. It was my inspiration for becoming a meteorologist in the first place.”

“Sure, it’s got some of that 1990s cheesiness & there are some factual inaccuracies, but… The vast majority of the movie is so good that it’s easy to ignore what few flaws it has. It’s so fun.”

…

“Oh yeah. The last action scene is super unrealistic. You can’t outrun a tornado. Let alone an F5 with 300 mile-per-hour winds. That’s ridiculous. There was a point where Bill & Jo were literally standing right next to it & they weren’t getting blown away. They only survived because they’re the main characters & have plot armor.”

“I’m unbothered though. It’s so thrilling that I can ignore how silly it looks. Suspension of disbelief, ya know?”

“The story is great, the characters have rich personalities, the practical effects & CGI hold up well even today… For a movie released in 1996, it was way ahead of it’s time. It really feels like a movie that was made with a lot of passion.”

“There’s so much tornado action to. This movie barely goes 10 minutes without one being on screen. It’s so engaging.”

“And the soundtrack is incredible as well. It has music like ‘Humans Being’ & ‘Respect the Wind’ by Van Halen which just send chills down my spine. I can’t get enough of it.”

…

“Of course I’m looking forward to the sequel. I just hope they don’t screw it up. You never know with the modern movie industry. It could totally flop if mishandled. Though the trailer does look very promising.”

“It’s a shame that it won’t have Bill Paxton. He’s been dead for a while now. May The Extreme rest in peace.”

…

“There was something really sweet that happened after his death. A bunch of storm chasers aligned their vehicles to spell ‘BP’ on satellite radar. It was awesome!”

…

“Part of my fascination with tornadoes & just… Weather in general… Was growing up in the Northeast US. We don’t really get tornadoes in the mountains. Not enough flat land or a sufficient amount of hot & cold air mixing. I was always intrigued & curious about the weather in other regions.”

…

“Well yeah. It’s possible to get tornadoes in every state, but some are clearly more prone than others. Even Alaska of all places has received a few tornadoes, but they were all categorized as F0s & didn’t last long at all.”

“If you really want tornadoes, the Midwest is where it’s at. Especially Kansas & Oklahoma.”

…

“I don’t mind living in Tornado Alley. When I was old enough to travel alone, I willingly chose to move out here. And it’s a good thing I did because I would’ve never met you otherwise. Hehe~”

…

“Hun, you’re worth enduring every tornado we get graced by. Don’t you worry one bit. In fact… If you were a tornado, you’d be an F6.”

…

“Hehe~ I do know my Fujita Scale. It’s an intrinsic part of meteorology.”

“I’m also grateful for my Storm Chasing team. They’re super cool people. We’re a good-spirited, high-energy group of weather enthusiasts who love documenting tornadoes. We don’t fear the storm. We eagerly charge towards it.”

…

“Of course it’s dangerous. When you’re a Storm Chaser, you have to know the risks. Many people have died doing this job. But it’s usually due to recklessness. If you’re smart & play it safe, you’ll probably be fine.”

…

“Well… No. Nothing is guaranteed. We may be able to predict the weather, but there’s enough randomness to the point where we can never be entirely sure. If a tornado changes it’s course & heads right for you… You better take action immediately… And hope you’re not in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

…

“It isn’t exactly rocket science to figure out how a tornado can kill you. There’s a few ways.”

“The most obvious way is getting sucked up into the vortex. You’ll simply get thrown really high into the air & hit the ground too hard when you fall. You’d need to be incredibly lucky & land on something soft in order to survive.”

“The second way is getting hit by debris. If a huge piece of infrastructure hits you at high speed, I doubt your soft, squishy human body would be able to take it.”

“And the last way is… Hindered breathing ability. Depending on the wind speed, it’ll either be really difficult or impossible to breathe in a tornado.”

…

“Yeah, now you understand why Bill & Jo wouldn’t have realistically survived the F5 at the end of the movie. Even though they were strapped down to those pipes, the tornado would’ve most likely killed them in a different way. But you know… Plot armor.”

“Speaking of F5s, did you know that the biggest one ever documented was the El Reno tornado of May 31st 2013?”

…

“This thing was a monster! To this day, it’s the largest tornado ever recorded at a jaw-dropping 2.6 miles wide. Even the F5 tornado in Twister wasn’t that big. It was only 1 mile wide.”

…

“Biggest doesn’t necessarily mean Strongest. It was certainly extremely powerful… But there have been worse.”

“Sometimes, it’s hard to determine exactly what makes a tornado noteworthy. Do you judge it’s overall strength & wind speed? Do you judge it by the damage it does & the number of people it kills? It’s not always crystal clear, but there are at least three contenders for the… ‘Worst’ …Tornado in history.”

"The first one is the Joplin Missouri tornado which happened on May 22nd, 2011. It damaged nearly 8,000 buildings... And of those... Over 4,000 were completely destroyed. The damage... Which included major facilities like one of Joplin's two hospitals as well as much of its basic infrastructure... Amounted to a grand total of $2.8 billion making it the single costliest tornado in U.S. history."

“The second one is the Daulatpur-Saturia tornado in Bangladesh which happened on April 26th, 1989. It killed approximately 1,300 people. That’s a horrific number of lives lost to just one tornado. It’s the stuff of nightmares.”

“And the third one is the Tri-State Tornado which happened on March 18th, 1925. It tore across Southeast Missouri, Southern Illinois, and Southwest Indiana. With its rapid movement, monstrous size, and long track, it took hundreds of lives and injured thousands.”

“No matter which way you look at them, these tornadoes were downright demonic & nothing has compared since. Even the El Reno tornado didn’t take nearly as many lives despite being bigger. Size clearly isn’t everything.” ... "There are many other historic tornadoes that are remembered today. These ones just stick out in my mind the most. If I don't stop myself, you'll hear me talk about tornadoes for the rest of the day.

*sound of strong winds blowing outside the house. so like… muffled, but still noticeable basically.*

“Wow, the wind is really picking up out there. And the sky is packed with dark clouds.”

…

“I’ve been talking about tornadoes so much, I didn’t even consider that we might get one today. The weather is ripe for it.”

*sound of emergency alert system plays on their television. maybe like 3 beeps. it doesn’t need to be a lot.*

“Oh? Is my suspicion correct perhaps?”

…

“YES! There’s a tornado on the ground in our county right now! You know what that means. It’s chasin’ time!”

…

“Of course you can tag along. No one ever said you had to be an official part of the team. Guests are always welcome. To be honest, I’m surprised you didn’t ask sooner.”

“I’ll grab my equipment. Put on something decent, alright? It’s gonna be crazy out there.”

_______________________________________________

THE END

[atomic-thomas]

Took this photo with my phone by holding my Eclipse Glasses in front of it. This was minutes before Totality.

[atomic-thomas]

Spectacular

unidentified flying sunmoon

[atomic-thomas]

I'm rolling.

@fakeasmr

[atomic-thomas]

(Fake ASMR Commission) Watching The Solar Eclipse With Your Girlfriend

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“Baaaaabe~ Wake up. Today is a very special day.”

…

“It’s April 8th. You know what that means, right?”

…

“The Solar Eclipse is today! God, we’ve been waiting so long for this. I’m ecstatic!”

…

“It doesn’t happen until the afternoon. At least where we are. So we have plenty of time before we gotta head out.”

…

“We’re almost in the Path of Totality, but not quite. We need to drive about an hour north & then we’ll be in it. It’s a privilege to be graced with such a time save. I feel bad for those who need to buy plane tickets. Imagine having to travel such a large distance just to witness an event that lasts mere minutes. That sounds ridiculous.”

…

“Yeah, I called off work. Like Hell I’m gonna miss this. I assume you did to. Otherwise, you probably wouldn’t have asked.”

“Anyway, we don’t have to go for another several hours so there’s no need to rush. Though I’d rather get all my routine stuff done ahead of time so nothing distracts me for the rest of the day. You should do the same.”

……….*some time later*……….

“Hey honey. You tested these eclipse glasses, right? They need to be NASA certified. Last thing we wanna do is go blind because you bought some schlubby pairs.”

…

“Hahaha~ I know I could’ve used the word ‘Shoddy’, but I just really wanted an excuse to say ‘Schlubby’. It sounds so funny.”

“But seriously. They work, right?”

…

“Okay, good. I’m surprised you were able to get your hands on them. These things sell out pretty quickly.”

…

“You bought the last pairs in stock. Well that’s lucky.”

…

“Right? These Solar Eclipse t-shirts are awesome! Even if it wasn’t April 8th, I’d wear them anytime. They just look so cool.”

“Speaking of cool, did you know that the temperature drops quite a bit when the moon covers the sun?”

…

“Well… Yeah. I’m sure that was obvious. But it’s not like it becomes frigid or anything. It’s just like… It became night time for a few minutes. Because that’s essentially what happens for that time.”

“There’s also some other cool things that happen. Like crescent shadows. While the sun is in the process of being eclipsed, all shadows get a crescent shaped quality to them. And because sunlight becomes more intense before totality, the shadows themselves become sharper & less blurry. It’s really cool.”

…

“Yep. Can’t forget the fact that it’ll look like the sun is setting from every horizon. That’ll look freaky.”

“Oh yeah! I almost forgot. I was keeping this a surprise until today. Check this out.”

…

“Tada! I baked eclipse cookies while you were at work the other day. Look at them. One half is vanilla & the other half is chocolate so they look like an eclipse. That’s cute, right?”

…

“Hehe~ We can snack on these while we’re out there just in case we get a little peckish.”

“Actually… Now that I think about it… We should probably head out early. I know the eclipse doesn’t happen for another several hours, but… There’ll probably be heavy traffic. I imagine the roads will be packed with people who also wanna see it.”

…

“Yeah, honestly… This is the right call. Let’s just go now.”

……….*some time later*……….

“Alright… This is a nice spot. An open field with no one else around. Just you… Me… & the celestial bodies.”

…

“To be honest, I’m surprised we’re the only ones out here. I guess everyone decided to settle for the local park. Not us though. We’re alone to enjoy this beautiful moment together. No distractions, no indecipherable chatter from hundreds of other people… Just peace & quiet.”

“This is so romantic. It’s like… A relationship moment, ya know? A highlight of our love.”

…

“Oh yeah. Today is also the day that Nintendo shuts down online functionality for the Wii U & 3DS. The exact same day as the eclipse. What a weird coincidence.”

…

“I mean… I can understand them shutting down the online services for their old systems. I imagine very few people use them. It costs money to keep up, there’s security risks… I get it. Companies gotta make wise financial decisions, ya know?”

…

“Yeah, let’s put on the glasses now. The moon should be passing in front of the sun any minute now. I’ve never worn eclipse glasses before. Wonder what it’s like.”

…

“Woah! This is weird. Everything is… Pitch black. All I can see is the sun.”

“Wow. I’m just… Looking directly at the sun. Straight up. And I feel fine. I’ve never been able to do that before. These glasses really work. The sun looks like an orange ball in the middle of a black sky. This is so trippy.”

…

“Oooooh! Look! The moon! The eclipse has started.”

…

“I can’t believe my eyes right now. It’s like the moon is slowly consuming the sun.”

…

“Oh, right. Let’s look at our shadows.”

“Haha! Oh My God, that’s so bizarre. Look babe. We’re crescent shaped. And the shadows are sharper at that. There’s noticeably less blur.

*start playing the sound of nighttime cricket ambience & keep it playing until specified stopping point*

“Woah, the crickets just started chirping. You think the eclipse is fooling them into thinking it’s becoming night time? They normally aren’t active this early.”

…

“Yeah, probably. That’s fascinating. I wonder how other creatures behave during a solar eclipse. I should do some research when we return home.”

“We’re almost in totality now. The moon has covered most of the sun. Look around, honey. The world’s lighting is all weird. It’s like it’s both day & night at the same time. Twilight one could say.”

…

“Ya know what’s really crazy about this? There are people flying in planes above us right now. I wonder what this looks like for them. At such a high altitude, they can easily see the moon’s shadow stretch over a hundred miles of land. Or a sea of clouds depending on the weather. I’m glad we have clear skies today. Otherwise, the only people who could actually enjoy the eclipse are those in planes above the clouds. Weather really could’ve ruined this special day. I’m so glad it didn’t.”

…

“Ooooooh! It’s happening! We’re completely in totality! Take off your glasses. We can look at the eclipse with our naked eyes now.”

“Wow… Incredible! It’s only the afternoon, but it looks like nighttime. We can even see the stars! It’s so spectacular!”

…

“Look at the ring of fire around the moon. We can actually see the sun’s corona. This is unreal.”

“Babe, I’m so happy right now! Happy that I get to share this amazing moment with you. This is the best day of my life!”

…

“Of course you think I’m prettier than the eclipse. That’s such a mushy thing to say. Hehe~ But thanks. I appreciate it.”

“The only sad thing about this is that it’ll end so soon. It’s such a rare event so it’s a shame that it only lasts a few minutes. Let’s enjoy it to the fullest in what little time we have.”

“Here’s another amazing thing about this. The sun is actually 400 times bigger than the moon, but it’s also 400 times further away. So they appear to be the exact same size in the sky. It’s a cosmic miracle.”

…

“You can see Venus. Oh yeah! So can I. It’s funny how the brightest star in the night sky isn’t actually a star at all. I wonder what causes Venus to glow so brightly. I imagine it likely has something to do with the planet’s various gasses in conjunction with the sun’s powerful light. It probably mixes in some specific way to give Venus it’s radiant shine.”

…

“Oh! Quick, put on your glasses. Totality is ending. Don’t wanna go blind.”

…

“Well… There goes the moon. The sun is starting to reveal itself once again. That was fun while it lasted.”

“The next solar eclipse that’ll happen in the United States won’t be until August 23rd, 2044. 20 whole years from now. Yikes. Good thing we caught this one. Otherwise we’d have to do some serious traveling to see eclipses sooner than that.”

*cricket sounds stop*

“Oh hey. The crickets stopped chirping. They must be so confused right now. Like… ‘Hey, what the heck? Why was it only night time for a few minutes? That doesn’t make any sense.’ Hehe~

“And with that, the moon’s shadow subsides making way for the light of day again. Such is life.”

…

“Yeah, for another few hours at least. Then it’ll actually be real night time.”

“Well… I guess that’s it then. Let’s head home.”

_______________________________________________

THE END

[atomic-thomas]

Bunny Fake

[atomic-thomas]

(Fake ASMR Commission) Your Girlfriend Talks About Musous [Monster Hunter Frontier Roleplay]

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*just so you know, Musou is pronounced [Moo-So]*

“Damnit, come on! What do you mean I didn’t parry that? My positioning was perfect. Sigh…”

*door opening sound*

“Oh, hey babe. Sorry, I’m just… A bit mad right now.”

…

“What am I playing. Are you sure you want me to explain? You probably wouldn’t understand any of it.”

…

“Okay, fair. Everyone wants to learn new things. Nothing wrong with being curious. You really don’t mind if I talk your ear off for a bit? It’s a lot of information to go over.”

…

“You have nothing better to do. Well, have a seat then. Because I have a lot to talk about.”

“I’m playing Monster Hunter Frontier. It’s a really old Japanese MMO that released in 2007. It’s servers shut down in 2019, but thanks to the efforts of dedicated fans, you can still download & play the game for free on PC using Private Servers. It no longer receives updates, but hey. 12 Years of content updates all the way up to the game’s closing date is a lot to chew through for new players who are just starting out. It even has an English Patch so you can actually read important text.”

“The monster I was just hunting was… A Musou.”

…

“No, not Moose, silly~”

“Musous are the game’s most challenging monsters. The absolute pinnacle of difficulty. They’re some of the hardest bosses you’ll ever fight in any video game. And… I’ve been trying to solo them.”

…

“Well, here’s the thing. Musous weren’t actually meant to be soloed. They were designed around the idea that a full team of decked out meta players would take them on. But if you’re crazy enough, you can beat them alone. It’s entirely possible. I’ll set the stage for just how astronomically difficult these monsters are.”

“Musous need to be slain in 10 minutes. Normally, most quests in the game give you 50 minutes which is way more than enough time to do anything. But Musous demand that you slay them in under 10. And to make matters worse, they have a huge amount of health. Far more than most other monsters in the game.”

“They have extremely fast & lethal attacks. They can lock down & combo hunters. Some attacks just outright one-shot you. And often times, their attacks cover a large portion of the area you fight them in meaning that if you don’t parry, i-frame or positioning yourself perfectly, you’re likely just gonna die instantly.”

…

“Crazy, right? With a team, you at least have some room for error. You can sometimes get hit & survive, someone can play support & there’s less pressure to do most of the damage yourself since it’s a group effort.”

“But if you’re alone, you have no such luxuries. Generally speaking, in order to solo a Musou, you need to use a skill called Adrenaline. This requires you to set yourself at a very low amount of HP using a specific Bento Meal or charm. When you’re at this low HP amount, Adrenaline activates & you gain a permanent 50% boost to your damage output which is crucial.”

“The downside to running such low HP is that everything one-shots you. You literally need to play perfectly. You need to maintain damage on the monster to slay it in time… And you can’t get hit even once. Anything less than perfection won’t cut it. I really can’t express enough just how insanely hard it is.”

…

“Yeah, I’ve soloed most of the Musous. I’m crazy enough to do it. But I’m still struggling with some of them. I can explain what the Musous are if you want.”

…

“Alright, well… Keep those ears perked up because I’m gonna talk about the Musous themselves.”

“Now the funny thing about some of these Musous is that… A few of them released in an earlier age of the game’s power creep. So these ones in particular are ironically pretty easy. Assuming you’re using the game’s modern power creep of course. We have Zenith Gear & Extreme Style which trivialize these earlier Musous’ difficulty.”

“Starving Deviljho [Devil-Joe] was the first Musou ever released &… It’s a joke nowadays. You don’t even need Adrenaline. It’s health & damage output are low. It’s slow & lumbering. You can play sloppily & still win. I can’t even really call it a Musou in earnest. It doesn’t feel like one.”

“Thirsty Pariapuria [Par-Eee-Uh-Pur-Eee-Uh] is… I guess… Kinda slightly difficult just because it’s annoying & can inflict so many different status conditions. But just like Deviljho, it’s very weak & can be slain pretty easily overall.”

“Mysterious Mi Ru [Me-Roo] is definitely the hardest of the Musous that most people consider to be in the easy category. It has a decent amount of health & some pretty dangerous attacks with weird timings. It can also inflict Crystal Blight which totally ruins you. But any reasonably skilled player can slay it after just a handful of attempts. It’s really not that bad.”

“And finally, to cap off the category of easy Musous, there’s Ruler Guanzorumu [Guan-Zor-Ooo-Moo]. This is by far the easiest Musou. It’s extremely slow, laughably lumbering, has incredibly low health & generally just doesn’t really do any significant damage. It even has a combo attack that’s supposed to kill you from full health, but you can actually survive it if you have Zenith Gear. It’s really sad. It’s a shame to because the fight itself is a fantastic spectacle. And the music is so epic! Really makes me wish the fight was harder.”

…

“Yeah, those are all four of the easy Musous. Now I’ll start talking about the Musous that actually require serious effort. There’s six of them.”

“The first one is Howling Zinogre [Zin-Oh-Grr]. Now here’s the funny thing about this particular Musou. It was actually the 2nd Musou ever released during the previous age of power creep. So you might be wondering how it could possibly be difficult. Well, thing is… The devs made it way too strong. It’s an overtuned Musou that was so overpowered on release that many players complained about it being unreasonably too hard. No team was able to slay it within the first 24 hours of release.”

“Even with modern power creep, it’s still a hefty challenge. Fast, aggressive attacks… Lightning dashes that can paralyze you into guaranteed deaths… Massive AoE attacks… It’s just a crazy Musou. Took me a good while before I got my solo clear.”

“The next one is Blitzkrieg Bogabadorumu [Boe-Guh-Bad-Oh-Roo-Moo]. This Musou is… Also kinda funny. It’s moveset isn’t actually the hard thing about it. It’s extremely slow & it’s honestly very easy to avoid getting hit. The problem is that it has a gargantuan amount of health. 1.2 Million HP to be exact. So if you’re trying to slay it alone, the difficulty isn’t the act of fighting it, but rather… Just getting the job done in time. 10 Minutes to burn through 1.2 Million HP all by yourself is… Pretty ridiculous. It almost feels like it was designed around Adrenaline because you get one-shotted at full health anyway. I have yet to solo this one. Not because it’s hard, but just because you have so little time to get through so much health. I usually end up timeout failing rather than dying to it.”

“Next up is Blinking Nargacuga [Nar-Guh-Coo-Guh]. This Musou is all about confounding you with speed. So much speed. It has super fast spin attacks, claw swipes, tails slams that shoot out poison spikes… And most dangerously, it has dash attacks that leave behind trails of razor wind that you lock you in place & deplete your health to zero. It took quite a lot of attempts before I got the solo down. Learning the fight is all about careful positioning, an attentive eye & a lot of patience. However, if you play well, it gets knocked down quite a bit giving you a lot of openings to attack. It’s certainly tricky, but it’s far from the hardest Musou. In fact… Weirdly… I think it’s actually somewhat harder in multiplayer because it’s attacks are less focused & harder to read. Especially if it gets you near a wall. That kind of poor positioning is a recipe for disaster.”

“Next is Sparkling Zerureusu [Zair-Roo-Ree-Ooo-Sue]. This was actually the very last monster ever added to the game before shutdown. But it’s not the hardest Musou. In fact, it’s actually kind of easy… Somewhat. Sure, you still need to use Adrenaline & play perfectly, but it’s attacks are incredibly fair. Very easy to read & well-telegraphed. It’s attacks consist of dazzling bursts of scarlet light. It’s very pretty & the fight itself is overall quite simple. Especially if you use Magnet Spike. Once you learn the fight, you can really bully it with that weapon. It didn’t take long for me to get the solo clear.”

“Next is a real doozy of a Musou. Arrogant Duremudira [Dur-Ray-Muh-Deer-Uh]. This one is… Yikes. Just yikes. It’s probably the worst Musou in terms of game design. It has sped up animations & janky hitboxes. Combine that with so many extremely brutal attacks & weirdly timed electrical explosions & you’ve got yourself a nasty hellish fight. It spams laser beams from several different angles, constantly stumbles hunters with tremors & is generally just an absolute terror to face. I haven’t even gotten close to soloing it yet. And to be honest… I may never.”

“And now… The Musou that I’ve been saving for last… Burning Freezing Eruzerion [Air-Roo-Zair-Eee-On]. This Musou is largely considered to be the absolute hardest challenge in the entire Monster Hunter franchise. It has a staggering one million HP & a plethora of fast, layered & complex attacks. This Musou really has it all. Massive explosions, fire & ice attacks that are rapidly spread over most of the arena, moves that require you to position quickly & carefully… The list goes on. And even if you play perfectly, you still need at least some luck to succeed.”

“It’s so fast… So dangerous… You need to pay so much attention to every little detail of the fight. And even the tiniest mistake will get you punished with instant death. I really can’t express enough just how ridiculous it is. After release, it took 8 weeks for the first team clear to be achieved & a whopping 9 months for the first solo clear.”

…

“Yes, this is the Musou I was fighting when you walked in. I’m trying to solo it.”

…

“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll succeed… Eventually… After a thousand more attempts or something.”

…

“I know I don’t need to do it. I don’t really earn anything. But it would be so satisfying, you know? Just the pride & bragging rights of having soloed the critically acclaimed hardest monster ever.”

…

“Of course I’m recording every attempt. If I’m gonna make the claim, I need video proof.”

…

“Sure babe. You can start your own save file if you really want. I need to take a break anyway. Soloing Musous really takes a lot out of a person. I’m warning you though… Monster Hunter Frontier is a pretty hard game.”

…

“You relish the challenge. Oooh~ How exciting. I look forward to seeing how you do.”

_______________________________________________

THE END

[atomic-thomas]

This was honestly one of the happiest moments ever.

[atomic-thomas]

FINALLY! Took Nintendo long enough to give us a release date for this game. God Damn

[atomic-thomas]

TOP TIER THUMBNAIL

[atomic-thomas]

(Fake ASMR Commission) Tomboy Giantess Flirts With You

------------------------------------------------------------

"Oooh, who's that down there? They look pretty cute. Hopefully they won't mind if I give them a bird's eye view~"

...

"Yoink! Heh heh~"

"Woah. Chill, little one. You're acting like I'm gonna bite your head off or something. I mean... I'll admit. You do look like a snack. Don't take that literally though. I may be... You know... Huge. But I'm not a monster. Not in a moral sense at least."

...

"See, that's the thing. Ever since monster people integrated into human society, everyone has been frustratingly cautious around giants specifically. Dragon-kin? That's fine. Slimes? No problem. Fairies? Oh, everyone loves fairies."

"But for some reason, giants are feared way too much. Even by other monster folk. Why do so many people assume that Big = Scary? It's like everyone forgot that giants are abiding by human laws. We're not gonna do anything bad."

...

"Ugh... Sorry. We just met & I'm already venting my problems to you like we've known each other for a decade. I should introduce myself before saying another word."

"My name is Colossa. And I'm a giantess who lives near the city."

...

"What's so funny? Is it my name?"

...

"Well yeah. We giants always get names befitting our massive size. I'm surprised we're able to keep finding ways to twist big adjectives into names."

"So anyway... What brings a cutie like you out here all by yourself?"

...

"Just a nature walk, huh? Well, if you're trying to appreciate the scenery then how about I put you on my head? Then you can see the world from my point of view."

...

"Oh come on! Don't be that way. Step out of your comfort zone. Live a little. Just hold onto my hair if you're afraid of falling off. Nothing bad is gonna happen."

...

"Nuh Uh! I insist. You're going on top of my head. Just relax. It'll be fun."

...

"Oh My God, you don't need to scream. Haha~ You're not in any danger. Just look at this view! I see the world like this all the time."

"Just hold on tight if you're really that afraid of falling. And even if you do, I'll provide you with a very soft landing. I assure you."

...

"That means whatever you want it to mean. Use your imagination."

"Anyway... This is awesome, right? I can hear you laughing up there. And just a moment ago, you were screaming."

...

"A fearful laugh. Yeah right. Just admit that you're enjoying this."

...

"See? I told you this would be fun. I bet there's plenty of humans out there who wish that a giant would do this for them. The dynamic of our drastically different sizes allows for a world of unique possibilities & fun ways for us to interact with each other."

...

"Oh, you wanna stay up there? That's fine by me."

"Wait a just a damn moment... I just thought of a great idea. How about I go for a walk while you stay on my head? You can pretend like I'm a giant mech that you're controlling. And we can just kinda... Talk about stuff, you know?"

...

"Yeah, that's what I thought. No one would turn down an opportunity like this. Enjoy the ride. And the view of course."

*giant footstep sounds start & go on for... a while. I'll let you know when I want it to stop. lol*

"So... Where are you from?"

...

"The city. Oooh, so we live close. That's convenient. I work in the city. Multiple jobs at that."

...

"Well, for starters... I'm an attraction at the amusement park."

...

"Yes, you heard that correctly. I am one of the attractions. There's a couple things I do. The first goes as follows."

"An attendant ties a bungee cord to one of my fingers. And then they tie that bungee cord to a human."

"After that, they climb onto the palm of my hand, I lift them up &..."

"I use them as a yo-yo!"

...

"Hahahaha! I'm kidding. If I really did that, then the human would be at risk of splatting into my hand on the rebound &... Well, we can't have that."

"What actually happens is the human simply jumping off my hand & letting the bungee cord do the rest."

...

"What if it breaks. What do you think? We have equipment to prevent accidents. Ever since I started this gig, there's never been an incident."

"The second thing I do at the amusement park is act as a swing ride. There's a couple ways I can do this."

"I can either attach a human to each of my fingers using bungee cords & swing them around that way. Or if there's less people, I can just clench them in my fists. Not too tightly of course. It's perfectly safe. Never had an issue."

...

"There are probably other things I could do at the amusement park if I wanted to, but I wanna talk about my other job. I'm a construction worker."

...

"Unsurprising, right? A giant working for construction. It makes all the sense in the world."

"Naturally, I do stuff like building, helping my co-workers with scaffolding & heavy lifting."

"But above all else... I LOVE when I'm put on demolition duty. It's so invigorating! Nothing beats the privilege of getting to break something! Tear it apart! It's great when I've had a bad day & just need to take out my anger on something."

...

"Oh relax. It's not like I have violent tendencies or anything. We all have our emotions. Still though... I suppose it's reasonable to feel uncomfortable in the presence of an angry giant even if they mean no harm. We're just so... Big. We gotta be careful around the smaller folk."

"Speaking of being careful... There's this one co-worker I know in particular. She's a Drider. And lemme tell ya... Driders really hate giant shoes. Must be a deep-rooted fear that bug folk have."

"One time, I didn't notice her below me & almost stepped on her. I felt terrible knowing what could've happened. It took her a few days to warm up to me again. Can't say I blame her. That must've been really scary for her."

...

"Yeah, being a giant isn't always as cool as it seems. There's some perks, sure. It's fun to tower over everything & be super strong. But I have to be so careful. Walking around in the city is a tricky endeavor."

"There's cars, people, infrastructure... One wrong move & something bad will probably happen. I gotta take it seriously. Can't just throw my weight around."

...

"You know you should never ask a girl's weight, right? Hehe~ Don't worry. It's fine. I understand your curiosity."

"I'm 150 feet tall & weigh over a thousand tons. So uh... Yeah. I carry a lot of responsibility within this body of mine."

...

"That's a great question. I'm not sure how I don't stress the streets' weight limit. Hmmm... You know what? Let's not think too much about that."

...

"Why'd I pick you up. Well..."

*giant footstep sounds stop now*

"God, why can't I find the words for this? It isn't that complicated. Um... Hold on. I'm gonna take you off my head now. I want you in my hands for this."

...

"You're really cute &... You know... Good looks usually get a person through the front door &..."

...

"Sigh... I wanna get to know you. I don't know why that was so hard for me to say. It's just... I work with humans all the time, but I've always wanted to establish a personal connection with one. I'm not saying we need to start a relationship if you don't want to. I feel that would come off too strongly. We just met. But I at least wanna go out on a date with you. Maybe we can be friends. Something more if you want."

"Ugh... I sound like such a bumbling mess right now. I wanna state my desires, but don't wanna overwhelm you. And I don't even really know if I'm looking for romance or just a friendship."

"I'm sorry. This is all probably frying your brain, isn't it?"

...

"You... You get it. Really? You understood all of that?"

...

"You'll go on a date with me. For real? Seriously?"

...

"That's so awesome! I could jump for joy right now!"

"Buuuuut I won't. I'd cause some pretty bad tremors if I did that. Don't wanna set off an earthquake because I got too excited."

...

"Yeah, let's discuss date ideas. I can think of a few ways in which a human & giant can mingle. We just need something fun that we can both agree on."

"I'm really looking forward to learning more about you, little one."

------------------------------------------------------------

THE END

[atomic-thomas]

Mingles is back at it again with the purple vans.

For @fakeasmr

Artist: Yuunarii | Commissioned by: @tenthstar

Watch it being drawn here

---------------------------------

Wow so cute!!!! I love it!!! (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

[atomic-thomas]

Fake's Doppelganger

[atomic-thomas]

This is genuinely funny.

summary of chat recently (reposted with the actual image this time)

@tenthstar @ambiguousasmr @fakeasmr

[atomic-thomas]

REFAAS ALKEMR

[atomic-thomas]

Fake Stoned

[atomic-thomas]

I put way too much effort into this. lol