auckie - Tumblr blog

[auckie]

I feel like my shitty life has been fucked in ways nobody else knows wich means nobody can help since im uniquely suffering all i want is somebody who knows how to make me better cuz im trying so much to get over this shit but its hard to when the pain is so strong theres nobody to help me

[auckie]

I really wanted to take the piss out of Long Minsk and his stupid tunnel but the details of this story are legitimately horrifying. The man is an industrial criminal and must be stopped.

[auckie]

And the worse I am doing the better I am at solving the puzzles with great speed and skill too. A bad week can increase my levels by at least 75, maybe more

Whenever anything bad happens I just open an app and solve puzzles

[auckie]

Whenever anything bad happens I just open an app and solve puzzles

[auckie]

It’s good to put messages you really want answered into bottles and it’s good to push them into the sea where they will either get lost forever or washed back to you with ‘lol’ or ‘ok’ somehow scrawled onto the completely dry note despite the cork still being sealed. It’s good for you. It builds character

[auckie]

You know foghorn leghorn the type of guy to come home late after a night of drinking and stand ominously in the dark hallway backlit by the front porch and see that there’s like. One cup in the sink and he says ‘I say— I say— I said how many times. Have I done told you.’ In an eerily calm voice, then he raises like 200 decibles outta nowhere ‘TO NOT LEAVE NO DAMN DISHES IN THE FUCKING SINK FOR ME T’COME HOME TO WOMAN?!’

Or like to be sitting in his favorite chair with the tube tv flashing, giving him an opposing silhouette and just like that terrifying gif of uncle phill like zooming forward he just is suddenly up out of his chair John Goodman yelling. Like he’s scary as shit. He might wear a white antebellum lawyer suit during the day but I can just as easily see him wearing a wife beater and work boots and just backhanding me so hard that I crack the drywall. I’m so scared of him. But that’s also why I picked him for marry in todays hypothetical FMK posited at work, because it felt like a horrible tragic Tennessee Williams play and also the other options were bugs (fuck, he would make a horrible husband) and porky (kill because I can’t fix him, and he can’t fuck. He only makes love. He watches bugs and daffy from afar and wishes he could be bugs so badly so daffy would want him back. and I know he would be thinking about it with someone, anyone else. Also I would probably like. Turn into foghorn leghorn if he expected me to top him.).

[auckie]

SpongeBob Obstacle Odyssey 2: Time Trouble 2007 PC

[auckie]

[auckie]

[auckie]

snoopy image of the day

[auckie]

How to chase 60-80 degrees year-round

by u/hodsophia

[auckie]

when the dude with no health says "spawn monsters"

[auckie]

Just bought a live butterfly off alibaba and I made it fly back to wherever its green ass came from

[auckie]

[auckie]

[auckie]

Hi! Thank you for reaching out to me about your decision. While I am disappointed that I will not be considered for a position at your company, I am grateful for the opportunity, and I do hope you'll keep my resume on file in case another position becomes available. Attached please find pictures of my penis And scrotum shortly after self-mutilation with a dull pocketknife. Thank you for your time and I look forward to any future correspondence.