audenbarker

[audenbarker]

So join another rp, or do 1x1 things here or elsewhere. I think that's what I'm going to do for a while -- 1x1s that are super casual and at my own pace.

In a few weeks I might consider joining a new group, but right now I'm focused on trying to unpack my stuff into my new house.

does anyone still log on here? i unfollowed everyone so i can’t see if anyone has posted anything. but idk, i kinda still wanna just rp?

[audenbarker]

if i’m being completely honest, and i always try to be with you guys, i just don’t want to be here. it’s not that i want stonegate to fail, i love it, and i think we have amazing members and chars. but i’m entirely drained. 

my family moving and job hunting and finding a new apartment and trying to manage time with the boy and with my friends has left me so exhausted i don’t want to sign on to rp anymore. 

i’m fighting to figure out how to manage my time so you get new bios and events, but i’m struggling.

i don’t know where i’m going with this except to say i miss you, and hopefully when my next project starts and i get 8 hours of my life back (bc no commuting) i’ll feel better. and you’ll get more stuff and things will go back to being awesome.

if you have any ideas or suggestions for me or for the benefit of the group, pls inbox me literally anywhere -- the main, one of my accounts, skype or kik work too.

love you.

[audenbarker]

Is it inappropriate to order a pizza after eating an entire pasta dinner? 

[audenbarker]

alecrichter:

Just God, Jesus. Religion, for a lack of a better word. Plus sometimes people don’t really take well to me challenging certain things. 

What are you talking about? Challenging? I don’t understand...

[audenbarker]

@hbichloe: @audenarygirl thx

@audenarygirl: @hbichloe did you get the job? or when do you find out?

[audenbarker]

alecrichter:

I don’t know. I’m kind of weary of stuff like that. Sometimes people judge my way of going about it.

...Your way of going about what exactly?

[audenbarker]

sashabermond:

Yeah, my friends walked me for a lot of the day. But there were times we were at opposite sides of the school, so they couldn’t and then I got lost.  But I’ve found my way now, so it’s all good.

Well, that’s good! If you ever want to get lost, the art room is kind of always open. It was my safe haven....when I was new here, but don’t give that secret away.

[audenbarker]

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[audenbarker]

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[audenbarker]

alecrichter:

Ah, well that’s cool. I guess I would’ve heard of it if my church friends went to Stonegate. 

Most of my church friends go to the Catholic school in Fayetteville or FHS, but there are some really nice Christians in our club. We even have some non-Christians, but they’re still sweet people, and we welcome everyone. You could...come and see for yourself?

[audenbarker]

As excited as I am for dance, I have to admit that I’m a whole lot more excited for swimming. Why can’t it be a year round thing, I don’t want to wait until winter season.

Honestly, spent my whole summer swimming, for fun, and now all I want to do is swim some more, but for competitions.

Wow, you really like swimming that much? I just learned last summer, but I don’t even think I could make it all the way across the pool without needing to stop in the middle.

[audenbarker]

alecrichter:

I meant I didn’t know the club was a thing.

Oh. Yeah. It’s not very big, but we meet every Wednesday. Our first meeting is next week, and we’ll have cookies.

[audenbarker]

9/11 fucks me up. tragedy and trauma in general fuck me up, but 9/11 especially just completely destroys my brain. because i can’t forget watching it. and i can’t forget watching people i loved experience it. and every year i just see that again and again in my brain. 

i’ll try to be online later, but idk how functional i’ll be. peace.

just kidding i’ll be here. being here and distracted feels better than being anywhere else. tried to leave almost had a meltdown. 

[audenbarker]

i just looked at my finances and i’m so fucking stressed about money i want to cry.

i have $300 in my checking account, and $1000 in my savings account. 

but my savings account money is the money i need for a security deposit because at some point my house is going to sell and i’m going to need money to live somewhere. 

and the money in my checking account is about to be wiped out entirely because my loan payment is going to take $700 from me on the 24th. 

i don’t even have that much money for them to take so i don’t know how that’s happening. i guess i have to move money from my savings account but then i won’t be able to afford to move????

and my credit cards have literally 7k on them. SEVEN. what the fuck.

i’m never getting out of debt and i can’t find a job and i’m literally fucking panicking.

i am still waiting on almost 2k in a refund check from the IRS for taxes. that i filed in APRIL. 

and i’m still waiting on almost 4k from my last job that they still haven’t paid me.  and i stopped working there in MARCH. like what the fuck.

but like okay knowing i’m supposed to have money to pay my debts and HAVING money to pay my debts are two totally different things

and fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK IM SO FUCKING STRESSED 

I NEED A JOB. HELP.

[audenbarker]

sashabermond:

“Okay, so I got lost like eight times today, and I only have two classes with people I know in it.  I guess it comes with being in a new school, but honestly, fucking kill me.”

Didn’t you ask someone for help? I’m sure if you went to the office, or I mean, you must have friends by now? Couldn’t they walk with you?

[audenbarker]

@hbichloe: It's 6:40am on a Wednesday and I'm awake and for what? I have to prepare for a job interview, that's what.

@audenarygirl: @hbichloe good luck!