augsposts-1

[augsposts-1]

being a picky eater will be the death of me omfg

[augsposts-1]

God can you imagine if Donald Trump became president? There’d be like a new bubonic plague and he’d be like “idk drink bleach about it”

[augsposts-1]

guys lowkey think my new coping mechanism through every mental breakdown will be chiikawa from now on

it just pulled me out of a spiral i was going into and those usually take days

in chiikawa we trust

[augsposts-1]

just remembered it took chiikawa literally forever to get his weeding license

ima be fine

i always feel like i just miss every opportunity that's handed to me. like no matter what i always miss the big chance to do something. i'll get so close and then right at the end something minor happens that makes it so i can't. i've had lead roles, massive opportunities, and even small things like just getting to meet someone and something always happens that just ever so slightly ruins it. i'm terrified for my future because of this because what if this cycle continues and i just miss every opportunity given to me. it's never anything major and i never lose anything from it i just miss out on something i could've had and it terrifies me that this cycle will continue into my future. so when i apply to colleges or audition for actual roles in things im gonna just barely miss everything. this literally happens with everything i do and i always have to just act like it's ok because i don't want to seem rude. for once i just want to actually win at something. not get close enough but to actually win but im scared i never will at this rate.

[augsposts-1]

i'm never gonna win am i?

[augsposts-1]

this is all some sick dillusion. i try to imagine myself up on a stage with people applauding me and screaming my name but i know it's all just a stupid idea i'm dillusioning myself into thinking i'm gonna be.

[augsposts-1]

i'm gonna die sad and alone working a shitty 9 to 5 job knowing i've never done anything worth it in my life

[augsposts-1]

for once can the universe just listen to me

[augsposts-1]

i'm starting to think god isn't real

i pray all the time for things to hopefully happen and never once has he listened to me

either this is some sick and twisted game that gods playing to fuck with me or there is no god

[augsposts-1]

the universe is never on my side

i always lose no matter what

i pray and pray and no matter what i never win

[augsposts-1]

for example:

i was offered the lead role in a show and fit literally every single criteria and almost got it but found out that i had a conflict that made it so i couldn't do the production

i was cast in the ensemble of a show but for a couple days leading up to the show one of the leads was out sick and our director said if they were out on the day before the show he would recast and evb basically knew it'd be me but then he showed up the next day all better

i always hear about programs i want to do but just barely miss out by a slight criteria

the day after i bought tickets to a show i was really excited for it was announced that the my favorite actress in the show wouldn't be there and instead would be an understudy

literally almost met one of my favorite actors today but this just so happened to be the one day he chose not to come out the stage door

every role i've ever gotten has been just for convenience so like i only ever get roles if it's a small cast that guarantees a role or if im just the oldest person there and they operate using seniority

the performing arts program that i was so set on doing just so happened to stop being funded by my school the year i wanted to do it

that's just the ones off the top of my head

i hate how childish and bratty i sound saying all this but it really adds up over time and i just feel like i can never win or have something completely. there's always some caveat and i just want to actually win something. every time i get set on something there's always another thing that drags it down and crushes my dream. but i can never actually be sad about it because "it's not that big a deal" and yea half the time it isn't but it still hurts when that's all i ever get. i'm not even sure i'll have a future anymore and i'll be stuck in some shitty 9 to 5 because i missed every opportunity i was given

i always feel like i just miss every opportunity that's handed to me. like no matter what i always miss the big chance to do something. i'll get so close and then right at the end something minor happens that makes it so i can't. i've had lead roles, massive opportunities, and even small things like just getting to meet someone and something always happens that just ever so slightly ruins it. i'm terrified for my future because of this because what if this cycle continues and i just miss every opportunity given to me. it's never anything major and i never lose anything from it i just miss out on something i could've had and it terrifies me that this cycle will continue into my future. so when i apply to colleges or audition for actual roles in things im gonna just barely miss everything. this literally happens with everything i do and i always have to just act like it's ok because i don't want to seem rude. for once i just want to actually win at something. not get close enough but to actually win but im scared i never will at this rate.

[augsposts-1]

i always feel like i just miss every opportunity that's handed to me. like no matter what i always miss the big chance to do something. i'll get so close and then right at the end something minor happens that makes it so i can't. i've had lead roles, massive opportunities, and even small things like just getting to meet someone and something always happens that just ever so slightly ruins it. i'm terrified for my future because of this because what if this cycle continues and i just miss every opportunity given to me. it's never anything major and i never lose anything from it i just miss out on something i could've had and it terrifies me that this cycle will continue into my future. so when i apply to colleges or audition for actual roles in things im gonna just barely miss everything. this literally happens with everything i do and i always have to just act like it's ok because i don't want to seem rude. for once i just want to actually win at something. not get close enough but to actually win but im scared i never will at this rate.

[augsposts-1]

heard the name "jorge rivera herrans" uttered on a train and whipped my head around so fast i am not stable

[augsposts-1]

alarm so peaceful i forgot to wake up (it's laufey)

[augsposts-1]

how i feel trying to avoid spoilers for a book but the series came out like 20 years ago and im only just starting now

[augsposts-1]

MF STOP TRYNA FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM WE ARE NOT FRIENDS WE ARE FRIENDLY

[augsposts-1]

kpop demon hunter? i hardly know her!