augustensayles-blog

[augustensayles-blog]

freakingace:

“Please show me this cake, I don’t have a good cake in years. Also, funny fact, making a cake is actually a slang for when girls masturbates”, she laughs a bit, rolling her eyes when he ironize her friend.

“Do you really want to keep up with assholes? Wow”

“Is that true? I’ve never heard that before but I dig it, I wanna know why they say that.”

“Yeah, I’m dating one.”

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jude-nolan:

“The story’s been passed down, and I believe it. I mean look at the label, it’s yellow as fuck. What’s up with me? Nothing’s up with me. It’s a beautiful, sunny day—night. Just killing time, tryna figure out what to do with my night.” His eyebrow rose as Gus, of course, interpreted the do not eat warning as a challenge. “Fuckin’ do it then. It’ll be like drinking Ex-Lax I imagine. Offff you goooo.”

“Well, I’ll tell you if it tastes like the Korean War and NASA and whatever else was goin’ down at that time- you know, if I don’t poison myself and lose the ability to form coherent thought and subsequently words and all that fun stuff. If I die from this I don’t want to be buried, I want you to put me on a springboard so when people come to mourn me I launch at them from behind my tombstone like in a haunted house.”

“Anyway, what’s new, man? Feel like it’s been forever since we’ve just hung out, right? Shoot the shit with me. How’s the Missus?”

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freakingace:

“They have sex which is better than cake, but don’t tell that to the assexuals. This friend of mine wants to give him something to mark things you know? A ritual”

“That’s a good one. Great! Man, aren’t you evil?”

“Not always, I’ve had some really fuckin’ good cake and sometimes I want cake a lot more than I want sex. If I had cake as often as I have sex I’d probably be a very happy man and a very fat man but still happy. Right, this friend.”

“Yep, I got alotta assholes in my world, gotta keep up with ‘em.”

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freakingace:

“Okay, I won’t even ask  about the cockroach. And the mug thing is too cute, this person doesn’t deserve cute”

“Then why even bother getting him anything at all? I don’t even know when my anniversary is- I don’t even know if I have one, we’ve broken up that many times. Anniversaries is weird, I don’t know why people count how long they’ve been together and it’s not like there’s any cake, at least birthdays have cake.”

“Get him a gym membership, then he won’t know if it’s a nice gesture or it’s cos you think he’s fat and it’ll totally fuck with his head.”

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freakingace:

“What’s it a propper gift for your husband on your 2th anniversary—knowing that you’re about to get a divorce?”, she asked, turning her head up. “Asking for a friend”

“Last Valentine’s Day I adopted a cockroach in my girlfriend’s name- wait, no that wasn’t last Valentine’s Day, that was the one before. Fuck, it’s been a long time. I can’t remember what I did this year.”

“What about a mug or movie tickets? Put the movie tickets in the mug.”

[augustensayles-blog]

Darren Criss & Revelation Avenue - Man In The Mirror [We Day UK 2016]

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what happened to liz and gus?? they were adorable???

{ @jizz-holt && @augustensayles }

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peytonolds:

“ —- Shut up, I’m going to beat you at this game once and for all! See, this is like…compulsive – comm….competitive.” 

“Ah, I’m gonna vomit- nope, I’m good, man, my stomach is treating me so well this week. You’re going down.”

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jude-nolan:

It was after hours at The Cellar, but usually that didn’t mean much. People were still milling about, drinking at the bar, ordering greasy plates of fries from the kitchen in the back, sitting smoking under the large black and white framed photo of Chubby Checker. The usual nightly Cellar din. Jude sat perched on an empty drinks crate, electric guitar in hand and plugged into an amp, though not at loud volume. He was plucking a soothing tune, humming along to it. “I wouldn’t touch that hot sauce,” he said to a patron from across the bar, not lifting his head from tuning the guitar. “It’s been there since Eisenhower.”

“And...you were here to witness that? Huh, you’re older than you look. What’s up your butt? You look miserable as hell, man- and you just told me not to eat something gross, any other day you I feel like you would have paid to see it. What’s going on? I smell trouble.”

“and I’m still gonna have the hot sauce.”

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you had me running from the real thing I didn't even know the difference now I'm feeling so betrayed

Mystery Colours (Celestial Tracks Remix) // Astronauts, etc.

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talon-harper:

Were you AJ or Kevin?

I’m-no. But it was only a matter of time, I just didn’t think he’d do it…like that. 

“Miscellaneous front man- the other dudes couldn’t really sing but they had bangin’ abs.”

“He wasn’t serious, right, I mean- he can’t really toilet your career, can he? I mean, I worked on GIRLS for like four episodes, I have a couple of connections. I played a who gives a shit role but I made some friends on set.”

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talon-harper:

“What? Oh…mhm. I mean, no. Ghosts of a questionable careers past…break a leg.”

  “Oh, I know that feeling. I get shivers whenever I hear Backstreet’s Back- I was a uh, Backstret Boy impersonator in a 90s tribute night at a casino. Rough gig.”

“You okay? I mean that- that guy was a real fuckin’ asshole if you don’t mind me saying. I’d be shaken up by that.”

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“I think it does” he said, thinking about it now “Like famous actors, you make a butt load of money doing a blockbuster movie and then you go to awards shows and they give you a bunch of free shit for nothing, watches and iPhones and booze and whatever else even though you just made millions on the movie you’re there to promote. You know? It’s whacky. You serve hotdogs for a leaving, make like twelve cents an hour and if they catch you snagging a dog for yourself you’re fired. What a world.” Gus chuckled and made a lacklustre effort to catch her fingers “Yeah well, you know you don’t need a comical disguise, you could always just come and hang out with me on set and stuff your face- or just, you know, say you’re there to hang out with me and just stuff your face and maybe say hi if you feel like bugging me.” he suggested with a shrug, stomach rumbling at the thought and then again when he remembered the pizza on its way. 

       “Why doesn’t that apply to life in general?” Liz mused with a squint of her eyes, unsure of whether he was making this up or not and just taking the hit. That’s what she’d do — say everything was free, then toss the bill at him once her arms were full. Good plan, she’d do that next time. Looking back up at him though and making a face of offence, Liz stabbed him with her fingers. “What the fuck, you’ve never brought any of that shit back. You could fit like —-” She looked at his stomach, raising an eyebrow. “Well, less now —- but shit, you could smuggle so much of that out for me. Or I’ll just pretend to be your assistant or something. One for me, three for him. Except I’m him and I’m me.”

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talon-harper:

“You’ve one hundred percent fucked yourself. Enjoy the already cancelled shit of a show Girls role my girlfriend got you because it’s the last taste of anything worth your less-than-mediocre talent.” Travis seethed in her ear. It was exactly what he’d been threatening for years, this time it was final. Talon knew. 

It was all out in the open now, Zoe, then those close to her professional circle knew, Travis wasn’t careful who was listening anymore. Talon felt watching eyes, embarrassment setting in. 

“Shit, bad audition or what? I’m heading in there in a half hour, should I be running away instead?”

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jizz-holt:

“Holy shit, really?” Liz grinned, looking upwards a little from her new niche against his shoulder at the mention of hot wings. Hell, they were eating like kings tonight and all Liz had had to do about it was swallow her own pride. Painful as that was on a regular basis, she knew it wouldn’t happen daily, but for tonight she could enjoy it. “I lost so much weight. I’m gonna gain it all back in one night, fucking hell.” She sighed, but smiled, the feast sounded perfect.

“It’s like the more you get, the more shit they give you, it’s a win/win” he deduced, not a particularly business savvy individual but offering his two cents anyway. “Ah, you’ve always had a bangin’ little body, even when you were growing watermelons.” he said in a matter of fact manner, he believed it to be utterly true. “At work they have a whole room dedicated to free food and snacks, it’s called craft services, you’d fucking love it- I ain’t like four bagels and my weight in jelly beans last week.” he recalled fondly.

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greymaeve:

“I honestly don’t care about fashion right now, I just really don’t want to stand out here in this towel any longer than is necessary lest I risk it falling open and getting arrested for public indecency as a result.” It was a stretch, but it could happen and while they’d been arrested before, they had no desire to add to their record.

When he returned, their expression conveyed how grateful they were, but one look at the clothes and they cringed at the thought of wearing any of them. “Clearly,” they replied with a bemused grin. “That white t-shirt and the skirt are fine though. I can improvise and make it look manageable until I can get a locksmith here. Mind if I use your car as a changing room, though? Don’t really feel like changing in the middle of the street.” 

“Depends on the cop, they might consider it a public service if they dig you.”

"Yeah, absolutely, welcome to the exclusive club of people who have been naked in my car.”