aunty-venom
Like A Phoenix From The Ashtray
Lauren ♌︎ - 32 - she/they
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having to pay for parking at a hospital will always be fucking deranged to me. Sorry
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sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me
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What makes this even funnier is if you’re a rich guy and do this the actual poker players will shower you with praise and stroke your ego (especially when you win hands through sheer variance) and say you’re great and to keep doing what you’re doing because they’re just siphoning money from you and want you to keep it up. Like, that’s the original definition of a “whale” in the gambling sense
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The sexual tension between a girl and not feeling real every time her birthday comes around
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cake is such an underappreciated band. i can’t believe we brought back low rise flare jeans before we brought back cake in the top 40
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as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine
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don't forget to pee before, during, and after sex to avoid contracting an HDMI
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RIP Tchaikovsky, you would have loved Paper Planes by M.I.A.
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