Text
So sad over things i cant control mau nangis cape bgt bgt bgt huhu
0 notes
Text
And all these overthingking pverfeelibgs things need to stop i need to start being heartless for real i dont need anyone or any feelings involve in my life i have enough problem and feelings too much things in once exhausted me so much
7 notes
Ā·
View notes
Photo
(220316) yeonjunās capture time feat. lots of hair flips ā vlive
608 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Not Cute

⢠Juyeon x reader, 2.7k, humour and some tooth rotting fluff ⢠The barista may be cute, but you're certain that the way you eat is not.
"So is he the one?" Eric whispers excitedly, tilting his head over at where Juyeon stood behind the counter. The barista seems to be busying himself with something, and you could only hope that nothing your two loud friends say today would reach his ears. "The cute barista who apparently likes your goat faceā"
"Can you be any louder?" you groan, kicking him under the table. "Yes that's him; and no, please never say those words together ever again." You don't even want to say the words goat face in your head, let alone out loud at any given time in your life.
It all started with the last time you visited the coffee shop.
You'd ordered your usual drink when you stopped by after class. The coffee shop had been quite empty which was even better since you'd have nothing to obstruct your view of the cute barista. And since there wouldn't be too many things to stare at in the shop, maybe just maybe his eyes would land on you sometimes.
But what wasn't usual was when he gave you a croffle with your drink. On the house, he'd said with a dazzling smile that made your hands shake and heartbeat faster than the caffeine ever did. You'd hoped that it was a good sign; he'd definitely recognized you after your all too frequent visits to the cafe, and you'd been on a first name basis already with the amount of times he'd written your name on the coffee cups. Maybe this was progress! Maybe you'd be able to finally get his number orā
"How's the food?" Juyeon had stopped by and asked with his usual bright smile. As if he hadn't at all noticed the way you were still chewing on a slightly too large of a bite of the croffle. You instantly wanted to die on the spot.
Were baristas even supposed to check up on you like waiters did? Do they also only walk by when you're looking like a goat mid-chew to ask a question that requires an answer from your fully occupied mouth?
You gave him a quick thumbs up, even throwing in a couple of enthusiastic nods to make up for your lack of verbal communication. The chewing continued with a little more vigor.
His face had instantly brightened but if you thought he'd leave and let you go back to your daydreams and chewing, you were completely wrong. Instead of leaving, he sat down across from you. Where every angle of his view would now let him see the slow maneuvers of your jaw.
"Is it good?" he continued as if he still hadn't noticed your oral situation. "I wasn't sure because it's not something that I make too often... but do you find it too sweet?"
And there it was. Another question that required an answer. Would it be weird if you continued with this non-verbal communication? Surely he'd have noticed by now and would be expecting you to finally speak back to him. But the way his eyes had twinkled while anticipating your response made it seem like he hadn't noticed anything at allānot the first time he asked his question, and not now either. If anything, the lack of mentioning it made things even more awkward. Why had you thought stuffing your face with this croffle was a good idea anyway?
The bite had ended in a rushed swallow with a very obvious gulp, to which he had the audacity to say, "Oh, be careful. Chew slowly!" And as awkward as the situation was, there was a sparkle of genuine concern in his eyes. You weren't sure if you wanted to laugh or cry or maybe smack some sense into him.
You'd ended up shaking your head and then paused on the croffle to finally free your mouth and actually talk to him.
And he was a nice person. The conversation went well, and you'd smiled and laughed, nearly forgetting the absolute humiliation of the previous events. Maybe your mind had even drifted back to thinking that there was progress! That perhaps this meant something! But unfortunately, he just had to remind you of the earlier events: he'd asked why you weren't eating the croffle, and whether it was because you actually hated it.
"It's okay, Y/N," Haknyeon says and gives you a shrug, pulling you out of your thoughts. "I'll chew like a goat with you." Then he proceeds to take a big bite of the croissant, nearly stuffing it all in his mouth. Chocolate oozes out and drips down his lips, and he appears to struggle to chew. Eric laughs at him. You stare.
While the exaggerated way Haknyeon eats is not attractive at all, the joyful grin on his face and the way his eyes gleam seem to make up for it. He looks so happy that you could kind of see how someone eating like this could be cute.
But definitely not you though. There was no way you would've looked like this while eating your croffle last week. Absolutely no chance when you'd frozen like a deer in headlights, thinking and then overthinking about how to respond to the cute barista staring so intently at you.
"Anyway, he probably thought you were cute," Eric says, pulling his gaze away from Haknyeon and wrinkling his nose.
You sigh. "Well, then I can't wait for Hak to be the next victim of the awkward goat chew."
Haknyeon quickly stuffs the rest of the croissant into his mouth. It's not as big of a bite as the first one, but he soon finishes his food. And whether it's to your luck or to your misfortune, Juyeon does not once appear at your table to check up on the three of you.
Eric looks at you with an excited grin. "See! I told you. Only your goat face can summon him over here."
You groan. Slide down your seat until the cute but strange barista is out of your view entirely. "Do not speak to meā"
The loud sound of the blender suddenly cuts you off.
"So rude, right?" Eric mouths at you with a smirk.
You roll your eyes at him and then finally start on your own croissant. At least if Juyeon's blending a drink it would mean that he couldn't possibly come over while you're munching away. But even if you were intending to eat freely, the way Eric and Haknyeon stare at you make you feel all the more self-conscious. Why did you think it was a good idea to tell them about what happened? You totally played yourself when you coined the term 'goat chew.'
"Hold on." Haknyeon grabs your wrist before you could take another bite, letting your croissant held hand dangle mid-air just like your jaw. "Wait, Y/N. Are there words on yours?"
You slowly let your mouth close. "Um. What do you mean?"
"Right here," he points to the end of the croissant, "in chocolate." He gently takes the croissant out of your hand and in any other situation you would've expected him to eat it. But instead, he simply sets it back down on your plate and stares closely until his face is nearly touching it. "It says... 'cute.'"
"Cute?" you dumbly repeat back. It suddenly sounds all too loud with the abrupt stop of the blender noises.
The room seems to still. Juyeon seems to freeze.
Eric turns the plate so that the words are towards him, and then also looks so closely you would expect chocolate on his nose at any moment. "He's right. It does say 'cute' but there was something before that. On the half you already ate."
"Are you serious?" When you finally turn it towards you, it becomes quite obvious that they're right. The word is indeed there though it's not easy to make out when the thin lines of chocolate are already half smudged and looking like an intricate drawing instead. And there definitely had been a word or multiple before it. "You guys should've told me before I ate it! At this rate it probably would've said 'not cute.'"
But was this a message from Juyeon? Had he left these notes before? Did he leave one the last time on your croffle? Maybe you do eat like a goat considering you've never bothered really looking at your food before shoving it straight into your mouth.
Eric shrugs but a mischievous smile slowly starts to spread on his face. "Guess you'll just have to ask him about it next time."
Great.
From the corner of your eye, you watch as cute barista Juyeon silently sinks behind the counter, the back of his neck all red.
This time when you're back at the cafeāalone, thankfullyāyou do look at your food before you eat it. In fact, you're the one to order it despite not usually ordering food. So when he brings over your drink and your slice of banana bread, you end up staring at it. Looking all around and at various angles to see if there are any patterns in the icing, if there are any messages or words that he might've left.
You stare so hard that you're almost sure he'd walk over, sit down, and then ask you if there's something wrong with it. But he doesn't, and the banana bread doesn't show any signs of having a secret message on it. Though there is a faint smile on Juyeon's face when you catch him watching you from behind the counter.
This time you can finally eat freely, unafraid of how messy it might be as you quickly wolf it down. Because this time, there are more important matters at hand. Including cornering the cute barista behind the counter.
"So you're not going to sit with me today?" you ask as you go to return the plate to him.
Juyeon instantly freezes and gives you a pained expression. You're lowkey glad that it's not just you who has the capability to feel embarrassed, as that croffle day had made it seem. "I-Iā" he pauses. "Well, Chanhee, the other barista, said he saw everything that day. And other than having laughed at me for half an hour, he also said that I made you uncomfortable...?" Juyeon stops there and runs a hand through his hair. Stealing glances at you when he's not too busy studying the section of syrups.
"What? No, that's not true," you say. Though maybe this Chanhee was right. Having a cute barista interrogate you as you ate had definitely not been the most comfortable experience. "It was just. A lot. To have you asking me all these questions. As I ate." You try to flash a smile.
"Ah, was it?"
You nod a little.
He ducks sheepishly but you could see the way lips curve up slightly at the corners. Then there's the way his hair falls so naturally by his eyes, the way his sleeves are rolled up to reveal his forearms andā
Juyeon meets your gaze.
You look away. "Wait, there was another barista here that day?"
"Yeah, Chanhee works the same shift as mā" he stops abruptly, eyes widening. "Well, uh. He was doing inventory. At the back."
"Oh, okay." You nod. Then you finally decide to ask the question you had in mind since this conversation was already awkward enough that it couldn't possibly get any worse. "So, did you um. Write a message on my croissant last time?"
"Yeah," he acknowledges easily. "That one was Chanhee's idea. He said it'd be best to reassure you? After making you uncomfortable that time."
"What did it say? I didn't get to see all of it." You shrug when he gives you a questioning glance. "Sorry; ate too fast."
"Hmm? I wrote 'you're cute.' And while it's true, I didn't really see what Chanhee meant by reassuring you with it."
"Oh." This Chanhee seems to have some sense. To reassure you that Juyeon still thinks you're cute despite how everything you've done so far is so not cute. Maybe you'd have to thank him one of these days if you ever see him around. "Did you write one on the croffle that day too?"
This time Juyeon nods slowly, hesitantly. A surprising change from earlier, as if you've caught him in a lie that he has to now admit.
"What did that one say?"
He groans. Buries his face in his hands for a good ten seconds as he lets the silence drag on. You don't bother filling the silence or changing the subject, partly because of your own curiosity, but mostly because he still looked so endearing even while buried ten feet deep in embarrassment.
When he looks at you again, there is a faint blush on his face all the way down to his neck. It reminds you of what you probably looked like on the croffle day.
"Y/N," he says tentatively. Eyes darting between the space on either side of your face before finally sighing. "It said 'I like you' okay?"
"Oh." You scramble. Grasp at the air as you try to collect your thoughts. "Shit, Juyeon, I'm so sorry for... eating that. Without even looking."
No wonder he had sat there in front of you as you ate itāhe would've been expecting an answer, some sort of response. On second thought, the goat chew wasn't even embarrassing anymore. It was certainly less embarrassing to have a cute barista watch you eat messily compared to the absolute mortification of watching your crush eat your confession letter.
Wait, did he just say that he liked you?
"No, I'm sorry. It was a terrible ideaāI shouldn't have done it and I'm glad you didn't see because it would've made you even more uncomfortableā"
"Juyeon."
"...yeah?" He slowly looks up until his eyes are finally on yours.
"Don't say that. It was very sweet of you, and it was so creative. I just feel really bad that I managed to miss it."
He watches you carefully. Bites his lip as if waiting for a sign of rejection, which is ridiculous because who would possibly reject him? "But?"
"But," you pause dramatically and let the smile creep onto your face, "do you think you could tell me again?"
"Right," his face falls and he nods mechanically. "Wait, what?"
"I want to hear you say it. So I can be sure."
"Be sure of what?" He looks entirely confused now. If it weren't for your heart hammering in your chest and the sweat pooling at your palms, you may have wanted to laugh how cute he was.
"Be sure that... I'm not the only one who feels this way."
"Oh." And then Juyeon's whole face lights up. He breaks into a grin so wide that he's pressing his lips together to contain it. "In that case: I like you, you're cute, and I want to get to know you more outside of these walls." He pauses and thinks for a while. "Thank you for not making me write the last bit on a baked good. I don't think that would've fit on anything."
"Then can I save you from writing your number on one too?" You hold out your phone with the contact page open, and he takes it with an unbearably bright smile, one that makes his eyes look like they're smiling too.
"Yeah, please do."
The smile still lingers on his face when the cafe gets an influx of people a while later and he goes back to taking orders and making drinks. It lingers when his eyes flicker over to you every once in a while. It only falters a little when you decide to stop being a distraction to him and take your leave. But hey, wasn't there supposed to be another barista helping him out?
When you finally leave the cafe with a bounce in your step and a date with Juyeon marked in your calendar, you think you can hear a distinct laugh floating over from the backroom. Which is followed by a loud "Hey, Choi Chanhee!"
389 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
who t f invented skripsi kayak orgiLlLl lo smw stres btul pls stay strong #ucandoit
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Sometimes i wonder how it feels to be a person who living their life to the fullest, a person whose life is full of happiness, surrounded by good people, beauty and a smart brain.
My life doesnt have anything close to that, the only thing i have is myself i want to be strong for myself but its getting harder day by day. My heart full of hatred and jealousy seeing other people having things that i wish to have. I'm getting scared with my own brain and emotion. I dont see myself anymore i dont see the kind soul anymore, all left is the hatred and sadness in myself with a bit of fakeness trying to be the person with full of kindness and happiness
- you dont know how long im staring at your picture i wish that it was me -
The only part of the song i could relate to express how it feels inside my head
5 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Maaf ak reblog krn SAMEEE BESTIE
Well I just wanna spill out my rants. I can't help but miss high school now that I've already in the end of my 20 y.o era.
I actually always had a great time ever since elementary school, junior high and high school. I have always spent wonderful memories but yk high school is just...*chefs kiss*
I've spent both my worst and highest points in high school, I learned a lot about so many things life wise also knowledge wise. I was both the best and worst version of myself that times.
I was lucky enough to entered one of the top school in bgr i guess?? and I have always been proud to be one of the students there. I love the buildings, the environment, the teachers, the extracurriculars, and their achievements which made the school quite reputable.
But the luck wasn't stop there. In my 12th grade, I can confidently said I was at the best position in my life. I had my friends, my theatre group, my boyfriend, best parents who let me do whatever whenever, and obviously good grades. Also I still had a dream.
But I lost it all now so...yeah guess how my life turns out nowš¤ Sometimes I feel sorry for my 17 y.o self but life is cruel in any possible way.
Now I only hope I survived this horrible time and still alive in the future. I hope I live a happy life right there.
8 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Maaf bgt ni akun buat baca ff jorok jangan adukan ibuku pls TP WALOPUN EGK PUNYA SIAPA SIAPA DI TUMBLR GW AKAN REPOST INI KRN GW NANGIS BOMBAI MAGRIB MAGRIB HUHU ILY STACIE PLS PLS BE HAPPY YA <333ļæ¼
Caden (Geci)


do u know the reason why i put saraās clown face photo up here? ya because uāre my fav clown lol iām glad for having u around ms. clowniešš¤ donāt take it as negative term tho, what iām trying to say is i really love how u always come out with funny jokes and always lighten up our mood by entertain us with ur silly jokes, GWSSSS for u lah. seriously i even have a habit to go to ur twitter profile whenever i had a bad day to mood-boosting my own mood by reading ur tweets. maybe itās because uāre so āuā that makes u more interesting? u have an unique personality i must say. eventho peopleās personalities are different from each other indeed, but idk how to describeāit feels like u make it so āauthenticā i guess? and iām just glad uāre living ur life to the fullest as ācadenā and not trying to be someone else. because the world already has them and what would be great is if it had more of u instead. just saying. but thereās one thing about u that worries me tbh. u tend to let ur brain full of any kind of thoughts to the point iām afraid ur brain is too full of unnecessary or negative thoughts.
so, five basic emotions inside cadenās head (like in the movie āinside outā), please listen to me. yall need to do ur job properly! smh, stop confusing caden, stop fighting over the control panel. yall really made her feels happy then sad then angry then disgusted then scared in just in the blink of an eye. like seriously? cāmon yall can do better than this, dont u? joy please show up more often hey uāre the main character, donāt slack off, donāt let sadness took away ur position duh, remember uāre the queen here. kids yall better take notes, caden deserved mooore happiness in her life. so please let her be happy. because this angel even saved me that night. the night when i nearly hurt myself. if i didnāt come to her that night idk what would happend to me.






once again, i really wanna say thank u for saved me that night. thank u for said nice things to me to make me feel better. thank u for let me whined over and over again about my problems. thank u for answering my panicked texts in the middle of the night. thank u for analyzing the details of that same story hundred times without murdering me. thank u for knowing when i need u, even if i donāt always tell u. thank u for believing in me; for never giving up on me, even on the days that i wanted to give up on myself. thank u for encouraging me to keep going, to keep trying. iām incredibly grateful for ur support, den. but i hope u would do the same for uself too ya? donāt ever give up too. remember i once survived because of u.

caden, i know this past years been toughāiāve watched u strain and suffer. uāve taken on more than anyone should ever endure. although u believe that most people overlook the struggles that uāve faced, i want u to know that iām incredibly proud of u for surviving this hellacious year. in the depths of ur despair, u may have felt like the world was crumbling beneath u or that ur heart was breaking. yet u eventually wiped away ur tears and started putting the pieces back together. u not only showed us all the amazing strength that u possess, but u proved to the world that uāre nothing short of a survivor. i love u.
ps: happy birthday caden! i make urs longer than the othersā because i wanna give this as ur birthday gift too⦠since i donāt have any idea what should i give to u and was too focused on finishing my soliloquy huhu iām sorry. i hope the orhers not getting jealous because urs is hella long wkwk gue bukan maksud pilih kasih ya gaiz. anw best wishes for u babe!š
[stacie brynnās soliloquy: about caden]
3 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text

badboy!yeonjun x innocent!readerĀ
word count: 21k
angst, fluff, smut
when your teacher asked you to tutor in the beginning of the school year, you were hesitant even then.Ā
you knew that it meant your lunch period and one study hall for the day were gonna be completely booked, helping younger kids grasp the basic idea that the mitochondria was the powerhouse of the cell.
but then you met one young girl desperate to pass her first test in october and knew your teacher had gotten you, sending a small, defeated smile her way as you gave her the okay to put your name on the list.Ā
you didnāt expect to come back from winter break with the news that the next student youād beĀ tutoring wasnāt a sweet 7th grade girl but none other than choi yeonjun.Ā
Keep reading
5K notes
Ā·
View notes