authoradaelise

[authoradaelise]

JOEL MILLER: triptych [extra]

[authoradaelise]

Thank you all for sharing and liking this post! It makes me so happy, ahhhh! I did a bit of editing to this first chapter and currently working on an edit for the second chapter as well.

Only You - Chapter One.

Content warnings: Mention of parental death, subtle mention of abusive relationship.

Word count: 1.7k

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“Darling, could you help me with the last of your bags?” My dad shouts over his shoulder while walking through the green front door – the one he let me and Momma paint all those years ago. The memory feels so far away. “It reminds me of the ones I love most.” She would tell me while kissing my eyelids like a blessing.

She’s been gone for nearly a decade now and I haven’t seen that door since. I grab the last two trash bags from the back of my dad’s truck, filled with whatever of mine I could manage to throw in it, and head towards the house. I hold my breath before I step inside, eyes focused on the door knob, preparing to be washed over with a version of my life I’ve been far removed from.

“You know, it really didn’t seem like this much when we were packing everything in.” My dad huffs, bending forward with his hands on his knees.

“I told you I’d grab it all myself, Dad.” I look at him with a knowing smile. He’s going to tell me he promised to take care of me and that means even this too, I just know it.

“No, darling, it’s alright. I’m just messin’ with ya. I told you I’d take care of you always, right? And that means carrying these damn bags.” Told ya.

“Suit yourself!” I throw the two bags I’m carrying at his feet with a giggle. He fakes falling over in pain. “Don’t worry about it Dad, seriously. I’ve got it.” I pick up the bags I threw, setting them aside with the rest that he brought in. Walking over to the kitchen, I whisper a soft “hi” and hold my hand to a photo of Momma hanging up on the wall. The house still smells just like her somehow.

“Want some water?” I ask Dad, already pouring him a cup.

“Get your old man a beer, sweetie. I could use one.” I grab us both a beer and bring the waters to sit down on the couch.

“House doesn’t look like it’s changed much.” I say, looking over at my dad with his eyes closed. He always does this when he’s in deep thought. I know he won’t say what he really wants to.

“I think I’ve had enough change in life. Didn’t wanna make the house part of it.” He turns to look at me and places his arm around my shoulder. “I’m glad you’re finally back here with me. You’re safe now.”

I wince at those words. You’re safe now. There was a time those words were whispered to me. Not by my father, but by another man who promised to love me. To protect me. He didn’t. And I was never safe.

I give my father a small smile and lean my head on his shoulder. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath in, pulling in the smell of home. There’s a hint of something else. I already know and my eyes spring open, spinning my head to look at him again.

“You’re smoking again, aren’t you?”

“What? Where did you get that from?”

“I can smell it, Dad. Clear as day. You’ve never been one for air fresheners or candles.”

“I’ve been with you for the last 3 days darling, where could I have gotten a smoke from?”

“Anywhere! They’re not that hard to find!” I yell.

“Alright, alright!” He raises his voice, not to a yell but almost a defensive plead. He continues.

“Sometimes I have a little somethin’ with my buddy. It’s not a habit again, I promise. I just – sometimes I need it to keep sane.”

“Your buddy? Since when do you have friends?” It came out more insulting than curious. “Sorry, I-- ”

“I haven’t been able to catch up with you in the recent years, darling. Forgive me.” He cuts me off, reminding me of the time that has passed us by where I was slowly losing more contact with him. Not by my own choice.

“No, it’s – it’s my fault.”

“Not your fault, my girl. I promise you that.” He takes a deep breath and continues. “My buddy Joel moved here about five years ago. He’s got two girls, Sarah and Ellie. They lost their mom when they were very young, car accident, and Joel needed a fresh start. I think you’d really like ‘em. They’re good ones.”

“Okay.” I let out, a little bit relieved.

“Okay?” he questions, almost sounding nervous.

“Well you’re not grounded or anything, if that’s what your worried about.” I smile. He chuckles.

“I promise it’s really not a habit again. I wouldn’t do that to ya. But I do it every once in a blue moon when we’re sat talking. I like to talk about you and he likes to talk about his girls. That’s all, darling.”

“Well, I’d like to meet them then.” I say, taking a swig of beer.

“Good. Because they should just about be here in twenty minutes or so for dinner.” I start choking.

“Twenty minutes?! You were just telling me on the drive down how we have nothin’ in the fridge!”

“Relax, darling. They’re bringing over pizza. I told them we’d be too tired after driving for so long and to bring your favorite.”

“Extra cheese?” I look at him with a huge grin.

“Extra extra.” He looks back at me as if he’s thinking “You think I’d ever forget that?” I’ve forgotten so many parts of myself I guess I’d half expected him too as well.

“Let me go freshen up.”

I run up the stairs, still creaking with every step as it always used to. I remember being so upset I couldn’t sneak out because Momma was such a light sleeper. Some nights she’d join me downstairs for a 2am snack, whispering about nonsense, the sound of Dad’s snores echoing up the stairs. I reach the top and turn the corner to see my room door open. Nothing is different from when I last saw it except for my bedding, which Dad must have changed right before he left to come get me. My bathroom has my favorite hand soap from a small family-owned shop nearby — again something he must have picked up for me. I’m grateful for the familiarity of it all. I wash my hands and use the left over water to swipe underneath my eyes, getting rid of the mascara that my tears must have smeared. I spent most of the drive down from New York crying, trying not to wake Dad with it whenever it was my turn to drive. As a result, I look exhausted beyond compare, my skin begging for any sort of relief.

I don’t realize how long I’ve been standing there until I hear the doorbell and turn to leave the bathroom. I can hear shuffles of feet and young voices.

“Hi Uncle Henry!” One of the young voices says. Uncle Henry? What have I missed all these years?

“Oh, my sweet hearts!” I stand at the top of the stairs witnessing my dad hug two girls, one maybe a couple of years older than the other. “Where’s your dad?”

“He’s being old and taking his sweet time. Grabbing the pizza.” The older girl says, rolling her eyes like she’s mocking him. The youngest starts grabbing at her lower back, slouching over and faking pain, “Oh oh, look at me I’m old and my back hurts!”

“All right, all right, very funny, Ellie.” A deep voice says in a tone suggesting he’s heard this joke too many times before. He jokingly nudges her with his foot and then closes the door behind him with it, arms full of pizza.

“Oh, there you are darling. Do you mind helping Joel with the pizza while I get us set up in the kitchen?” My dad turns to look up at me, pointing two fingers down at either girl. “This is Sarah and Ellie! Joel’s daughters.” They both smile wide grins up at me, waving dramatically. He moves a finger to point at Joel next. “And that’s my buddy Joel!” Now my dad is the one grinning, like he’s proudly showing him off.

Joel doesn’t smile. He only looks at me – his expression unreadable like he’s trying to figure out something he wasn’t expecting. A flutter in my chest causes my breath to catch. A sweet voices speaks up, cutting the silent tension with enthusiasm.

“You’re very pretty!” Sarah says.

“I like your shirt!” Ellie says, almost immediately after. Joel moves his gaze towards the pizza boxes in his hands, grounding himself, while I begin walking down the stairs, offering a thank you to the bright-eyed girls.

“Alright, let her make it downstairs first before you hound her.” He gives them a knowing look that says go ahead and they make their way towards the kitchen. I make it to the bottom step and his eyes return downward. I reach out my hands to place them underneath the bottom box, when I realize that I’ve grazed his fingers, a short moment on his skin, and he flinches.

“Sorry, I—”

“It’s fine.” He cuts in quickly. “Here uh – take the top box.” Without looking up, he hands it over to me and I sneak a glance at him, taking this moment to search for anything like an answer to this disorienting tension. His jaw tightens and he squares his shoulders like he’s bracing himself.

“Thanks.” I murmur, feeling uncertain. He nods once, tilting his head towards the kitchen.

“Ready?”

“Good to go.” I pivot and walk ahead of him, feeling his stare burning into my back. The warmth of him lingering closely – almost like it’s guarding me, yet I feel so exposed. I spot my dad at the kitchen table, girls sat with their paper plates in hands, eyes lighting up when they see the pizza boxes settling in front of them. I slide into a chair and force a smile when Sarah passes me a slice. It tastes like childhood, almost too good to be true. Somewhere between the noise and laughter that has found itself in the air, I remember that this isn’t just a return, but a new beginning.

[authoradaelise]

PEDRO PASCAL as Joel Miller The Last of Us | S02E06 - The Price

[authoradaelise]

pedro singing future days. i need this to be memorialized on my blog forever

[authoradaelise]

I've finished up Chapter One and I've come to realize that this story will

1. Take place within the TLOU universe, with differences to some characters and their backgrounds. I won't be following too closely to be game/show accurate.

2. Definitely have a thriller aspect to the plot with the side-plot being a hard focus on the romance between Joel and my main FMC. This IS an age gap but I felt more comfortable making it where our FMC is 29 and Joel is early 50's! No DBF going on here, either.

I am starting up Chapter Two and I am really excited to see where I can take this story. I wanted it to be something with a clear outline of what would be happening, what to follow, and a slow-burn romance for the angst. With that being said, I will most likely end up changing the title since "Illicit Affairs" no longer has the right connotation. The vision board I made, though, still matches the general vibe I have for the romance aspect :)

Hello everyone! I am new to writing fanfic for this fandom. I'm not quite well versed in everything that goes on, nor have I read any fanfic for Joel just yet, but I hope to join into open arms. Above is a vision board I put together for what I envisioned this story to look and feel like. I was listening to Illicit Affairs by Taylor Swift and got the idea of a love story built off lingering glances, stolen kisses, and borrowed moments with angst that eventually cannot withstand itself. My intention is to make this slow-burn and primarily closed-door.

The idea/plot I had in mind is (as of right now) very vague and not entirely thought out just yet but I knew that if I didn't start setting up and getting some words on paper, I'd lose the idea amongst many others.

I wasn't aware that I'd have to wait sometime on a waitlist in order to post on A03, so I figured I'd start writing here. I've done it before many years ago when I was younger for different fandoms, same on Wattpad, and it made my heart warm when I started getting that feeling again. I'm a romantic and as anyone else, crushing hard on Pedro Pascal and his portrayal of Joel. I hope you enjoy what I come up with.

Have a beautiful day/evening/night <3

, Ada