autistic-lizard

[autistic-lizard]

repeating this throughout the day like a spell >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

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I forgot I have to be active here so here’s my Twitter tutorial on how to draw folds I made a while back to help a friend!

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[autistic-lizard]

a voice in my head has bean singing an uwuified version of paralyzer for 5 FUCKING MINUTES

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[autistic-lizard]

By LabradoriteKing on Pinterest

[autistic-lizard]

Tumblr as the loud, alt, gnc nerd with coloured hair, a ton of Pride pins, and lots of merch

Ao3 as the quiet, unassuming book nerd that's secretly freaky as fuck

Does anyone else see my vision

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i think it's funny when people say "yeah the writers use they/them for this character but that doesn't necessarily mean the character is nonbinary" because i guess it's true but by that logic i can say "yeah this character is referred to with he/him but they never say he's a man so i can do whatever i want" which i may actually start doing because it sounds based as fuck. if you want me to believe that action hero is a man maybe you should've been more direct about it smh.

[autistic-lizard]

Thats not what I wanted + crass

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[autistic-lizard]

Dr Doolittle-style show about a detective who can talk to animals, except instead of talking like people the animals still talk like animals, just translated into English sentences, so the plot of most episodes centres around trying to figure out what the star witness testimony actually means.

Victim's murder was witnessed by her pet snake, whose tank was in the room. Unfortunately pet snake is incapable of describing the world around them except in terms of 'rocks' and 'meat', with their descriptions of individual forms of 'meat' focusing almost entirely on body temperature and smell.

(Solved when it turns out that their description of 'warm-cold meat with rock' was actually an attempt to describe a suspect with a prosthetic limb, which is pretty unnoticeable to a human, but looks dramatically different in infrared.)

Murder at a honey farm. Each witness managed to see about ~0.06% of the full crime, in order to get the full picture, you have to get them to swarm.

Victim was found several days after death, already crawling with maggots. Days into the investigation, protag begins a frantic search to find any surviving maggots/flies that were on the corpse, after realising that how the victim tasted would give vital information about the poison used.

Also there's at least one or two animals who actually do talk in full sentences and in terms humans can understand, and the reason behind this is never fully explained.

All cats in this universe talk in terms of 'mine/not-mine' and mainly focus on territory, mates and food, with the one exception of the main character's cat who is named Watson and knows how to use sarcasm.

All insects speak in one word sentences where everything is 'food', 'enemy' or (for hive insects) 'friend' and 'queen', with the exception of seven-spotted ladybirds specifically, who for some reason speak in full English sentences and are up to date and knowledgeable about world events. The protagonists is as concerned by the full implications of this as you are.

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[autistic-lizard]

WHATS YOUR NAME MAN

it’s fun to stay at the Y

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I didn't get bit by a chicken 👍

I'm in the most backrooms looking arcade rn

[autistic-lizard]

daily reminder to drink some wa-

hold on.

Post canceled.

is it anyone on tumblr named Brian?

is there anyone logged in right now who has the name Brian

[autistic-lizard]

I feel uneasy

I'm in the most backrooms looking arcade rn