autumn-sol

[autumn-sol]

when the heartbreak is so bad it has you reconnecting with the album melodrama

[autumn-sol]

but that makes me wonder if it's also why i always end up being into people who are not that great at direct communication.. all they know to do is hide their feelings and vaguepost? and i can't even be that mad about it because i think it's fun in the beginning. that is until i'm crying at 3 am because i think they hate me and idk how to get them to talk to me about it

whenever i'm into someone i like to try and figure them out i like it when they post a quote or a song somewhere and i get to play my favorite game where i try and see if it could be in any way related to me

[autumn-sol]

whenever i'm into someone i like to try and figure them out i like it when they post a quote or a song somewhere and i get to play my favorite game where i try and see if it could be in any way related to me

[autumn-sol]

(thinking about my parents' relationship) may this type of love never find me

[autumn-sol]

me when the thirst trap works but then i realize i'm once again sexualizing myself to get other people's attention and validation because my life feels empty and i need to feel wanted

[autumn-sol]

Like Water for Chocolate, Days of Being Wild, Les Félins

[autumn-sol]

when you look back at every little interaction you had with someone you had feelings for and realize none of that meant anything to them and you were just being delusional and insane just like when you were a lovesick teenager with an obsessive unrequited crush

[autumn-sol]

maurice, e.m. forster // a man's morality, volacub

[autumn-sol]

I COULD HAVE REALLY LOVED YOU, BY TRACEY EMIN 2011

[autumn-sol]

Victoria Chang, from With My Back to the World: Poems; “The Islands, 1961”

[autumn-sol]

because the concept of someone being "meant to be" sounds so nice to me. i feel like i never really experienced mutual romantic love in my life. i feel like i've been denied, rejected and abandoned time after time.

maybe all the signs and synchronicities that i thought meant this person was meant to be with me was just another side effect of my desperate hunt for meaning and true love

[autumn-sol]

maybe all the signs and synchronicities that i thought meant this person was meant to be with me was just another side effect of my desperate hunt for meaning and true love

[autumn-sol]

when you look back at every little interaction you had with someone you had feelings for and realize none of that meant anything to them and you were just being delusional and insane just like when you were a lovesick teenager with an obsessive unrequited crush

[autumn-sol]

[autumn-sol]

- James Baldwin talking about Love

[autumn-sol]

I can feel that ache in my chest again.

[autumn-sol]