autumnleaf22

[autumnleaf22]

To the One I Loved in Silence

I don’t even know how to begin this letter.

Maybe because there was never really a beginning for us —

only glances, half-kept promises,

and moments that felt like forever but meant nothing to you.

I loved you in ways words can’t quite hold.

In the stillness, in the quiet,

in the spaces between your absence and your almosts.

You were never mine, not really,

but I carried you like a secret,

like a prayer I whispered to the night

hoping the stars would turn your heart toward me.

You came to me only when the world was heavy,

when she wasn’t there to hold your hand —

and I let you.

I let you rest in the softness of me,

thinking maybe, just maybe,

you’d see I was enough.

That I was home.

But the truth?

You were never looking for a home like me.

You were chasing a dream,

and I was just a safe place to land when your wings grew tired.

And now…

now you’ve married her —

the woman you dreamed of.

And I watched it all from a distance,

grieving a love I never truly had,

mourning a future I only imagined.

You kept calling even when you knew you shouldn't.

Even as vows were waiting to be spoken.

And I — foolishly — kept listening.

Because somewhere deep inside me,

I still wanted to believe I was the one.

But I wasn’t.

I’m not.

She is the dream.

And I?

I was the silence between your dreams.

The almost.

The maybe.

The never.

So this is me — finally, truly — letting go.

Not because I want to,

but because I must.

Because I deserve more than borrowed moments.

More than lingering touches that lead to nowhere.

More than being remembered only when it’s convenient.

I hope she gives you everything you searched for.

And I hope you forget the softness of my name,

because I’m done being your secret sorrow.

I loved you quietly,

but I will leave you loudly —

in peace, in strength,

and in all the pieces of me you never saw.

Goodbye.

— The woman who loved you deeper than you’ll ever know.

[autumnleaf22]

GHOST

I think I’m finally starting to understand something painful.

Maybe… I was just a ghost in their life.

Not meant to stay. Just meant to pass through,

to help them find the love they were always searching for and it wasn’t me.

I was the detour.

The lesson.

The moment before their real beginning.

And now I watch from a distance,

silently cheering them on while holding back tears they’ll never see.

They look happy. They moved on like I was just a fleeting season

one they barely noticed had passed.

But I still feel everything.

The laughs, the late-night talks, the promises we never got to keep.

They’re all echoes now… haunting only me.

Maybe some people come into your life just to break your heart open wide enough

to teach you what love isn’t.

And maybe they leave so someone else can one day show you what love really is.

But tonight, that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

-Aliza

[autumnleaf22]

It's my 9 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[autumnleaf22]

July’s menu,

𓂃 ﾟ｡🌿🌸🦋 ⋆ ⟡ ! this month will bring us brighter days, wonderful opportunities, calm minds, healing, peace, blessings, good health, lots of money, genuine friendships and joyful hearts. claim it! sending good vibes your way, please accept

[autumnleaf22]

𝑖𝑛 𝐽𝑢𝑙𝑦 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑎 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒

𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦, 𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑝ℎ𝑦𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦

⠀ ⠀ 𓂃 ⭒ 𐀔 𝑐𝑙𝑎𝑖𝑚 𝑖𝑡 𐀔 ⭒ 𓂃

[autumnleaf22]

Even for me, life had its gleams of sunshine.

In the Country of Resurrection, Ada Limón | Morning Coffee, Mary Bradish Titcomb | Morning Sun, Edward Hopper | Daily Bread, Night Sky with Exit Wounds, Ocean Vuong ( @beautymyeyes-see ) | Sun in an Empty Room, Edward Hopper | After the Storm, Olena Babak | Afternoon on a Hill, Edna St. Vincent Millay ( @fairyette ) | Green and Gold, Henry Scott Tuke | The Black Brook, John Singer Sargent | Snake, Mary Oliver ( @tenderfaery )

[autumnleaf22]

“I used to imagine adventures for myself, I invented a life, so that I could at least exits somehow.”

— Fyodor Dostoyevsky

[autumnleaf22]

“If outside validation is your only source of nourishment, you will hunger for the rest of your life.”

— Unknown

[autumnleaf22]

springtime days filled with joy & serenity

[autumnleaf22]

So beautiful

by mauro_roberto__

[autumnleaf22]

[autumnleaf22]

[autumnleaf22]

•Relax • Refresh • Reconnect •🍃

[autumnleaf22]

Be proud of what you achieve, because you worked hard to earn it.💚

[autumnleaf22]

How sad that you finally realise wholeheartedly in a sense of mind that there'll be peope that is unwilling to help you, in a moment where you needed it badly.. Even your that kind of person who is willing to be approached and as an immediate helping hand in times of their advantageous needs.

December 6, 2021

[autumnleaf22]

Alignment 🍃