ava-flav

[ava-flav]

✞ 666 ✞

[ava-flav]

[ava-flav]

[ava-flav]

I’ve been told I forgive too easily and trust too much

That I give people too much credit and shouldn’t care so much

But what is wrong with seeing the good

What is wrong with showing kindness

I have my walls

I know my limits

Hurt me once

You’ll never be fully forgiven

Kindness isn’t weakness

Kindness is strength

For I can look pain in it’s eyes

And offer it thanks

[ava-flav]

[ava-flav]

“How amazing is it to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head.”

— Nina LaCour 

[ava-flav]

[ava-flav]

“We often want it so badly that we ruin it before it begins. Overthinking. Fantasizing. Imagining. Expecting. Worrying. Doubting. Just let it naturally evolve.”

— Anonymous 

[ava-flav]

I love how toxic we are together.

[ava-flav]

i woke up thinking about you today, i rolled over and checked my phone, as if there might be a text waiting for me, hoping against reason that there would be, but there wasn’t. i knew there wouldn’t be, but i can’t seem to be rid of this foolish hope that one of these days you’ll wake up and realize you made a mistake when you chose her. i keep waiting for you to love me, after all this time, after everything we’ve been through, i’m still waiting for you.

[ava-flav]

I can't believe that you still cross my mind.

Even after all of this time,

Even after everything you've done,

It's still you.

[ava-flav]

I just felt stuck. I had reached a point in my life where I was holding on to a lot of things I knew I needed to let go of. My life was moving forward without these people, all these places, and I still couldn’t walk away from it all. Every time I thought I was ready to, I couldn’t get up and walk away - and I hated it. I wanted to be, but I wasn’t the type of person who could leave and never look back. I hated how hard I held on to things, because it made letting go nearly impossible.

[ava-flav]

Sure enough, some people wouldn't stay, even if you have poured a lot of love on them.

can't take anything back // ma.c.a

[ava-flav]

And I realized that talking about my pain out loud, makes it hurt less.

I wish it wasn't just a dream // ma.c.a

[ava-flav]

[ava-flav]

just a cry for help

[ava-flav]

stay alive not because your mother will never stop crying but because you can look up at the sky on a sunny day and see the clouds moving by and you’ll take a moment to wonder if it is because the earth is spinning or because the wind is blowing stay alive so you can answer that question stay alive so you can ask someone else that question, then wow them by knowing the answer or be wowed that they already knew it as well stay alive because you’re never too old to look up at the sky and see figures in the shapes of clouds a cumulonimbus that looks like a dog will never fail to make you smile stay alive not because your father will blame himself for the loss of his baby but because your favorite band might come out with a new song or your favorite show might get renewed for a new season or your favorite person might like your tweet on twitter stay alive because the future is unclear and that may seem terrifying, not knowing what’s to come, but it’s worth taking that chance gambling is never a safe bet but the house always wins and you, my dear, are the house stay alive not because your best friend will never forgive themselves for losing you but because of the feeling you get when you do see your best friend that calmness, that peace, that happiness – that feeling is genuine happiness and yes, you are capable of experiencing it you’re allowed to experience it you’re allowed to be happy stay alive because you’re allowed to be happy and there are countless reasons to feel that joy radiate like sunbeams like licking melted ice cream off of your hand as it drips from the cone or the way the world slowly changes from green to orange in autumn or seeing the first snowfall of winter or that first sip of a hot beverage when you’re absolutely freezing or wearing your favorite underwear or finally seeing the Big Dipper at night or the perfect amount of Parmesan cheese on top of your pasta or your pet crawling into your lap stay alive because at least one of those things make you happy and you should experience it one more time stay alive not because i’ll miss you but because one day life will feel the way a brand new notebook feels - intimidating, but exciting and more importantly, a fresh start stay alive because you deserve to be around for that fresh start

(cc, 2017)