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[avequodfabricator]

Atomic Protestants in 10,000 years be like “oh boo hoo we hate Rabbi Stormy’s mandatory virgin sacrifices, fuck this entire religion, we wont teach our kids ANYTHING about avoiding ancient supposedly cursed ‘’’’nuclear waste ‘’’’ sites” and then their grandkids will run into some ray cats and think nothing of it. 

“That looks like a normal cat, probably,” they think. “And besides, cats being forebearers of doom is a old superstition that my grandparents say is problematic.”

The kids follow the neon green ray cats as they wander towards an ominous obelisk, which has crumbled somewhat and been almost covered by vines. (Good thing it was made of stone and metal, not clay and soil, which would have succumbed to rainwater retention and slumping.)

Somehow they’re still able to read the inscription of ancient runes on this cool looking obelisk, which starts off by saying “This is not a place of honor” and the kids go “lmao fuck honor, my parents raised me to be anti-authoritarian” so they charge right in. 

Another crumbled runic inscription reads “substantially disturb this place physically. This place is best” 

Sounds legit! The cool spiky concrete playground looks rad as fuck, so they and the colorful cats climb all over and break as many things as possible and have a grand old time.

[avequodfabricator]

++The Atomic Priesthood++

Thomas Sebeok & Alan Wienberg are credited with the creation of “The Atomic Priesthood” in an attempt to address how nuclear waste would be managed in such a way as to not harm future peoples. One of the issues they faced was that languages have been created and forgotten in only a fragment of the time it takes for a nuclear substance to reach its half-life. If English were forgotten, how would you communicate to future generations? Perhaps some ancient warning is written in Linear A that we cannot decipher, and thus we too may unknowingly run into the danger that ancient people tried to warn us about.

  Sebeok and Wienberg asked themselves. “What in human history has lasted longer than language?” The answer they came to was religion. Catholicism has outlives innumerable languages that it once bore within its flocks and so too, thought Sebeok and Wienberg, would The Atomic Priesthood outlive todays languages. It’s this priesthood that would warn our future brothers and sisters of the dangerous nuclear waste buried beneath the earth. 

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