aviphagian - Tumblr blog

[aviphagian]

Good evening, everyone! How are you doing tonight?

[aviphagian]

???

?????????????????!!!???!??!?

[aviphagian]

Cosmo Sex Tip # 777

Before eating your partner out, transform into a giant bird and yell "ITADAKIMASU"

[aviphagian]

Eh, it's alright. I'm sort of used to dealing with people who act like that. Thank you. Man, I really don't know what their deal was with that. Do they just like to embarrass people or something?

Whoa. That's certainly the list of titles, isn't it? No doubt you're quite busy, then. ...Mahou Shojou? What, like, Sailor Moon or something?

Oh! Right. My name's Yako Katsuragi, head of a world-renowned and incredibly successful detective agency, which I run with Neuro, who's a puzzle-eating demon. He'll deny that, but really, you can only summon a gigantic fleshy tree thing to stop a falling skyscraper once before people realize something's up.

How are you doing today, Nomad?

I am so very sorry for Genie being invasive… I can somewhat see what they were being such about… I will not… discuss any further.

The name I have come by is Nomad, secondary half of a Karmic angel, Genie’s wielder, and their mate. I also am known as an emperor of an Alternian Empire, along with being a newly found ‘Mahou Shojou’, and ‘titan shifter’.

And… you are?

[aviphagian]

my tag is already broken

òmó ))

[aviphagian]

Well, humans like me happen to enjoy our privacy quite a bit. We're not exactly like abstract concepts of justice, thanks.

Oh my god, you are worse than Neuro when it comes to parsing emotions, and that's saying something. 

...I guess they stopped talking to me then.

No, it's alright. They were just being a little too nosy for my taste. May I ask who I'm speaking to, since I think I've only met Genie?

I do.

Certainly not! I just said that Karma knows no privacy~ Are you not listening? But whatever you say~ (Indeed.)

Well I definitely didn’t know that~! You asked me why I had used the ellipsis as I did, and I simply responded as such! Would you rather I stop talking to yo

My apologies for Genie. They can be… blunt, at times. 

[aviphagian]

If you say so.

Do you not understand the concept of keeping things personal?? It's on a strictly need-to-know basis, and I don't think you need to know. (Gross.)

Well, news flash, that's because it just so happens to be a big thing to me. A very big thing. A very big thing that should never be brought up in polite conversation under any circumstances.

Yes, he’s fine, don’t worry too much about him. 

Hmm? Why is that?~ I don’t ask questions unless I desire to know the answer to them! I can’t see things like that, only Karmic links between individuals~ (Well no, that’s true. Cars have ichor, it was a generalization.)

Because you made it out like it was some big thing~

[aviphagian]

I'm so sorry to hear that...is he okay right now? But, that's good. It's nice to have someone who cares about you, isn't it?

I guess it's really sort of pointless keeping things to myself, then. Who knows, you probably used some sort of dumb magic trick and already know the answer to your own question. I'm telling you, it's personal. (Well, no shit. Cars don't have blood.)

Then why did you even make it out like it was some big thing.

No, in fact, he’s attempted to take his life several times. I hate that he feels that way, but he’s such a good individual to me… I think I take good care of him.

Then what is it about~? (I agree upon that sentiment, but then again, I have feasted upon the blood of a car. Not exactly appetizing.)

I’m glad. Monster? Oh certainly not!~ Such an act is entirely consensual, my young friend, not even a sin worthy of my work. Monster is not an applicable adjective for you. A proper adjective might be mousy or… dare I say… pacifistic as well?~

[aviphagian]

psst.....we could do a thread if you want))

sigh„, i just realized, ive yet to have a legit rp with neuro here. this doesnt surpise me.

[aviphagian]

Oh. I doubt that can be a very easy combination for him, though...

It's not about the office, or my business! (Although, if I'd been going to a place that served rodent instead of pork without people knowing, and it tasted good, I'd still eat there. If you'd been eating something all along that you enjoy, but it turns out to be something else, there's no real point in stopping or regretting it, since you still like it, no matter what it actually happens to be in the end.)

Yeah, I get it, you've driven your point home. This is probably the point where you call me a monster or something like that.

Certainly.

… I suppose one could call him that. I prefer pacifistic serial killer. He does what I like him to do very well, though~

Oh most definitely not! There would be a public outrage is if the other humans knew! You’d lose business so swiftly, it would be worse than when a mysterious Chinese food place was found out to be frying rodents instead of pigs! Not that rodent is much worse, meat wise… 

Karma knows no such thing as privacy, darling~

[aviphagian]

Well, I mean, it'd be a shame if you let anything go to waste.

Oh. So, he's sort of like a vigilante?

Well, yeah, I've kinda been trying to keep it that way!! I don't want everything I do to be out in public, that'd be a disaster! Haven't you ever heard of privacy?! 

Oh? How lovely, humans can be more morbid than I initially thought~

He does not like killing, and he will refuse to do so unless he feels it is necessary and just. It’s fairly simple.

I’m not trying to prove anything. You asked and I answered. You also seem to have failed in noticing that I have yet to mention exactly what it is…~

[aviphagian]

[aviphagian]

Oh. It's like, sausage that's made out of blood. And yeah, it's a human thing.

Pacifistic serial killer...??!? No offense but, how is that even possible?

...

Listen. I don't know what you're trying to prove with this. I don't know how you figured that out, but can you not bring that up? It's really none of your damn business.

True, I’m mostly vampiric in nature, really. Like a two ton leech with a gun for a head. What’s bloodwurst? I’m not familiar with that food, is it a human thing?

Well, he’s average male height, thin yet muscularly framed. Pale skin, covered in freckles, long blonde hair and ice blue eyes. Always hiding his face in a medieval helmet. Fairly shy and polite for a pacifistic serial killer.

Stop dodging the truth. 

[aviphagian]

I don't think I'd be too fond of ichors and/or juices, but bloodwurst is pretty good. That's fine, I mean, I work with someone who kind of eats abstract concepts, so I'm not one to judge. Liquids happen to be a lot less weird.

I dunno, what can you tell me? I have to say, I do like listening to people talk about their friends. It's nice to know how happy everyone is! 

>shit shit shit shit ok no wait you've got this.

What, that I eat a lot of food? Again, not a huge secret.

What? No. I live on a purely blood based diet. Though I do occasionally indulge in ichors and juices, I derive all my sustenance from fluids. My stomach can’t process solids, though another form has proven to digest through solid flesh.

Oh?~ Curious are you? What would you like to know?~

No, no, the other thing. >_>

[aviphagian]

Wait, since you're at least part lizard, do you eat bugs? If so, how are they? I've always sort of wondered how they taste.

Well, that's good! If you don't mind, do you think you could tell me more about them? 

>SHIT OKAY PLAY IT COOL

Yeah, I'm a private investigator. What about it? I thought that was pretty obvious.

Figured not! That is true, some are more fortunate than others. At least my tail is prehensile~

Indeed. My lovely little honey is the most helpful creature around~ 

Yep, especially in your field! It’s very good for introductions, I can usually tell if I’d hate who I talk to. 

… I know what you do, sugar.

[aviphagian]

[aviphagian]

Well, I'm not from where you are, then, if you're talking about extra eyes and limbs and things. Although, I can't doubt some extra arms would be pretty useful, since there's always so much work to do, especially when we get a bunch of cases at once. 

Oh? You do? 

Well, that's certainly impressive. Something like that'd really come in handy, I bet. 

Oh, right, almost forgot. You put a weird emphasis on "karmic connections" a few posts ago and I was wondering what was up with that.

Is that so? How fascinating, you don’t seem like a rift dweller at all… You don’t happen to have extra eyes or limbs or tendrils hidden anywhere, do you?~

Ah yes, what a good girl! A good assistant is always wonderful to have, I myself have a lovely one —though the terminology differs.

Hm? Well, since you asked…~ I have the capability to see karmic connections between individuals, due to my nature as an angel of Karma itself! Karma is such an oh so lovely thing…~ With this ability, determining how malevolent or kindly to others one has been, I determine if they are in need of… retribution…~ It’s all fairly simple and straight forwards, I’m sure a bright girl like you would understand!~ ^_^