avishkari-izzet

[avishkari-izzet]

Hebi Again.

hello. it is me, chima's betrothed, #1 snake lover. you all love me.

Anyway. I have hijacked this account to list the contents of my love's fridge:

7 different cakes

a chocolate reproduction of Niv Mizzet's head?

mushrooms labelled "george"

a case of vial with a clear liquid labelled "in case of emergency"

more ice cream flavours than I could count. what even is "Urza's Ornithopter Orange"?

a fucking vial of blood?????

steak labelled "meat slab". why.

hot dogs.

a half eaten tiramisu.

what appears to be a frozen squid. like in cube of ice.

assorted desserts. so many desserts

if anyone has advice on how to discuss why this is weird for me, please help

-Hebi Sukaiyamori

[avishkari-izzet]

Cavernous

Koda's first stop was Torrezon. Not because of Aclazotz, but because of something the god had said. Leta was protected from being tracked by magic. But Koda didn't need magic.

"Get the hell away from Leta." His hands were still in the pockets of his trench coat as he walked towards the elf. Koda had never met the elf that hunted other planeswalkers. But he knew their type. Edgy and aggressive. Just like he was.

They stayed just out of his reach. "Ah, this is no fun. A good hunt shouldn't be interrupted by meddlers. Goodbye, Hayashi. Perhaps you will be my prey soon enough."

Koda grinned with both mouths. "Perhaps." Once they planeswalked away, he turned towards the cave. He crouched by the entrance. He could smell Aclazotz's influence in the area, but more than that, he could smell something injured inside. "Hey, Leta. It's Koda. I'm coming in."

Leta was in rough condition. She was half-in the water streaming through a cave, and dried blood and dirt was caked on her face. She was, however, still aware when Koda got close and knelt beside her. "You look like shit."

"So do you, asshole," he retorted affectionately. He checked for broken bones, noting some cracked ribs, before he pulled Leta out of the water. He removed his trench coat and wrapped it around her. He also grabbed a few of the mushrooms around just to make sure they weren't toxic for Leta to have been living on. He would run those tests later. He gathered Leta into his arms and straightened up. "I'm bringing you to Doctor Tosari."

The primary Dokuchi safehouse and proper infirmary was in the back room of a garden center. Koda stepped from the shadows and laid Leta down on the nearest cot. Besides the two of them and Doctor Tosari themself, Kaizen, who was still on mandatory bed rest after the attack, and Bantenso were also present.

Tosari pulled on nitrile gloves, unsurprised. "Welcome back to the land of the conscious, Boss Hayashi. Status?"

"Broken ribs, was laying in a cave eating mushrooms while staying hidden. She's pretty wanted as a criminal because House Dimir doesn't want to let her go." Koda stepped back so Tosari could work. "How's everyone else been?"

"Kaizen got run through, but he's still recovering. Everyone else is laying low," Tosari reported as they got to work with tending to Leta.

Koda nodded and turned to Bantenso, who jumped over to a nearer stool and offered Koda the communicator in his mouth. Koda smiled and took it, securing it on his wrist and sending his first message in about a week.

I lived. Leta's safe.

[avishkari-izzet]

That's exciting news! Though I have to ask, since this is Azorius work: How long is in due time, in this case?

Me and some likeminded colleagues have begun repeated appeal processes against the denial of some laws. I'll spare the legal jargon, the point is. In due time, guildless will now be afforded minor protections on certain 10th, 9th, 7th, and 3rd district streets. The full list of applicable new rights can be found in the next standard pamphlet at your local Azorius hall.

[avishkari-izzet]

The Long Goodbye

Myslik looked out his window, drawing the curtains back just enough for his eyes. Once again, nothing on his street, nothing on the neighboring buildings. Nothing. He checked his locks and windows, and once again, nothing. He felt his pulse pound, nonetheless. The Azorius hadn’t found her, his contacts in the Dimir had not found her, his contacts in the Simic found a trace of her. Pilfered documents, once that he could guess what they said, where they would lead her.

Of course the one target he handled in this manner was a planeswalker. If she hadn’t been, this entire process would have been much easier and much more fruitful. He frowns, writing orders at his desk. If she had just died when she was supposed to, drowned by that damnable mercenary, none of this would have happened. If the Azorius had done their job when he tipped them off, none of this would have happened. If the damned Dimir could find one of their own agents, this would not be happening. Myslik had managed to convince the Necrosages that she was rebelling, trying to get out from the House, but their response was not what they expected.

“Find her yourself” They had said. “Your agent is going rogue, you should deal with it.” Of fucking course they had said that. Of course they had offered NO assistance. All they had done was give him points of contact in the House, and told him they would ask those spies to pass information on his wayward charge. No help against the planeswalking assassin, who has a vendetta against him. He jumped, when heard a click from his door. He pulled out his hand crossbow and long knife, creeping towards the door. A handful of letters were dropped within the mail slot, and he heard footsteps walk away. He looks at the stack of mail, bills, and two missives from the guilds. He opened the one marked with a spider sigil first, eyes tearing over the documents. Worthless. “We regret to inform you that your target has not been seen within any of the spots you anticipated. We have seen some of her allies scattering around the 10th. We will keep an eye on them.”

He tore it apart and opened the next letter, with the sigil of the Azorius. The letter thanked him for his assistance in apprehending a criminal, and because of the escape they would not give the full reward, but he would be given a small stipend of 200 Zinos. He sighed, unwittingly taking the final breath of his life, as a small wire swung around his neck. Immediately Myslik attempted to kick against the floor, pushing back against his attacker, and was rewarded by his chair being pulled away, his feet kicking uselessly an inch above the floor or the desk. He felt the warmth of her breath against his ear, as, in a whisper, she said "Try not to get blood all over the place. I have a party to attend." Mysrik felt a mix of emotions in his final moments, terror, as he struggled and failed to get air into his lungs, and pride, that the assassin he was responsible for was doing this.

[avishkari-izzet]

"If there's any equipment we can get to avoid an cave dive in pitch darkness, especially with all out equipment, I will get it. I would love to avoid jumping into the void if at all possible. Better to avoid any possible injuries."

Leta sat down in the chair, and kicked her feet up. Finally, part of her job was done. She had gotten everyone in the same room, and now it was time to start planing things out. Ravnica was only build on a few thousand years of guild disagreement, how long could they possibly argue for?

“Our goal is pretty simple,” she said, “we get down there, we make sure none of the smugglers are going to get out, we leave.” She gave a small smile. Of course they would each have their own goals, but, did that matter? Ravnica was built on ulterior motives.

[avishkari-izzet]

"Didn't they find one of these things on Thunder Junction, and it was filled with traps? I'm not the best at detecting traps, but I can definitely help with disarming or destroying them if needed."

Kanta pauses, looking at the assorted group. "In the spirit of interguild cooperation, I will say that I was told by my higher ups to secure anything I am able to get my hands on, the rest of you be damned. Now, I'm not going to follow that directive, because I care a lot more about all of us not dying. I would hope the rest of you feel the same, to some degree. Whatever we find down there, it's not going to be worth getting each other killed over it. We're a team until this job is over, and that means until we're all back home. We can worry about fighting over the contents after that."

Leta sat down in the chair, and kicked her feet up. Finally, part of her job was done. She had gotten everyone in the same room, and now it was time to start planing things out. Ravnica was only build on a few thousand years of guild disagreement, how long could they possibly argue for?

“Our goal is pretty simple,” she said, “we get down there, we make sure none of the smugglers are going to get out, we leave.” She gave a small smile. Of course they would each have their own goals, but, did that matter? Ravnica was built on ulterior motives.

[avishkari-izzet]

"That might be a big ask, given that they nearly killed Leta the last time she ran into them. It's a nice idea, but I'm more worried about all of us making it out alive."

Kanta is in the process of putting together bags of gear for everyone, courtesy of the Izzet. They mostly consist of helpful tools, electric lights, and a couple bonus weapons he's been looking for a chance to test out.

Leta sat down in the chair, and kicked her feet up. Finally, part of her job was done. She had gotten everyone in the same room, and now it was time to start planing things out. Ravnica was only build on a few thousand years of guild disagreement, how long could they possibly argue for?

“Our goal is pretty simple,” she said, “we get down there, we make sure none of the smugglers are going to get out, we leave.” She gave a small smile. Of course they would each have their own goals, but, did that matter? Ravnica was built on ulterior motives.

[avishkari-izzet]

I decided to take some time off work recently to visit family on Avishkar, which has been going great, EXCEPT

SOME ASSHOLE STOLE MY COMMUNICATOR EARLIER TODAY AND I ONLY JUST GOT IT BACK. He threw it on the ground while he was running away from my and broke the screen. It's working (mostly) but I'm going to need to replace it when I get back to Izzet territory.

[avishkari-izzet]

I still feel this is an incredibly stupid standard. What if you put it somewhere like that and the person you want to see it doesn't see it for like months or something? I feel like there HAS to be an easier way. And also why would you even hide it. The only other person likely to see it would be Idzek. Are you that scared she'd hunt you down to beat your ass for messing up the lab?

Hey guys. Did any of you decide to break into my lab after Jasna broke the door down? I was planning to replace it when I came back to work, but someone apparently already broke in and rummaged around in all our things.

Security didn't see anyone and Idzek is absolutely PISSED because she thinks I did it. I promise not to turn you in to the Azorius, I just really really would like to have someone else to sic her on. She's not motivated enough to come find you I promise.

[avishkari-izzet]

Damn. Fortunately I'm not motivated enough to actually complain but this is good info, thank you!

Hey guys. Did any of you decide to break into my lab after Jasna broke the door down? I was planning to replace it when I came back to work, but someone apparently already broke in and rummaged around in all our things.

Security didn't see anyone and Idzek is absolutely PISSED because she thinks I did it. I promise not to turn you in to the Azorius, I just really really would like to have someone else to sic her on. She's not motivated enough to come find you I promise.

[avishkari-izzet]

Why would you leave the wrench you used IN A CLOSET UNDER LIKE 15 OTHER WRENCHES?? How is this standard?? This is absurdity.

Hey guys. Did any of you decide to break into my lab after Jasna broke the door down? I was planning to replace it when I came back to work, but someone apparently already broke in and rummaged around in all our things.

Security didn't see anyone and Idzek is absolutely PISSED because she thinks I did it. I promise not to turn you in to the Azorius, I just really really would like to have someone else to sic her on. She's not motivated enough to come find you I promise.

[avishkari-izzet]

Quick question, as you're a Dimir person: how many complaints do I have to submit to get @average-ravnican fired? Or is it a thing where complaints get you promoted in the Dimir like it does in Rakdos.

Hey guys. Did any of you decide to break into my lab after Jasna broke the door down? I was planning to replace it when I came back to work, but someone apparently already broke in and rummaged around in all our things.

Security didn't see anyone and Idzek is absolutely PISSED because she thinks I did it. I promise not to turn you in to the Azorius, I just really really would like to have someone else to sic her on. She's not motivated enough to come find you I promise.

[avishkari-izzet]

YOU BURIED THE NOTE IN A CLOSET UNDER A PILE OF WRENCHES. HOW IS THAT AN EFFECTIVE WAY TO LEAVE A NOTE. Did you just expect me to find it there??? I only found it because I'm the one who has to clean up the mess you made!!

Hey guys. Did any of you decide to break into my lab after Jasna broke the door down? I was planning to replace it when I came back to work, but someone apparently already broke in and rummaged around in all our things.

Security didn't see anyone and Idzek is absolutely PISSED because she thinks I did it. I promise not to turn you in to the Azorius, I just really really would like to have someone else to sic her on. She's not motivated enough to come find you I promise.

[avishkari-izzet]

Hey guys. Did any of you decide to break into my lab after Jasna broke the door down? I was planning to replace it when I came back to work, but someone apparently already broke in and rummaged around in all our things.

Security didn't see anyone and Idzek is absolutely PISSED because she thinks I did it. I promise not to turn you in to the Azorius, I just really really would like to have someone else to sic her on. She's not motivated enough to come find you I promise.

[avishkari-izzet]

Work life balance is fake and stupid. Here in the Izzet League, no one can stop you from throwing the entirety of your time into your work. I just drank my 4th pot of coffee and have been up for something approaching 48 hours but by Niv I'm going to finish this project even if it kills me.

[avishkari-izzet]

Work life balance is fake and stupid. Here in the Izzet League, no one can stop you from throwing the entirety of your time into your work. I just drank my 4th pot of coffee and have been up for something approaching 48 hours but by Niv I'm going to finish this project even if it kills me.

[avishkari-izzet]

Work life balance is fake and stupid. Here in the Izzet League, no one can stop you from throwing the entirety of your time into your work. I just drank my 4th pot of coffee and have been up for something approaching 48 hours but by Niv I'm going to finish this project even if it kills me.