avocadowarrior

[avocadowarrior]

if you tell me where you are, i will come, get athena, and leave

thats me and athena out of your hair

hello sara,

my name is charlie, but you can call me avocado

while i am in the organization that "took" milton. i have a question for you

can i please come over and get athena, she is the only one i want. i can compensate you financially

i got enough people at my house rn pls settle whatever beef u have with athena off my property

[avocadowarrior]

you cannot win against the tree

we have won against the mormons, you are just a false prophet standing in our way

damn u were right everywhere Athena goes chaos and pain follow

yeah dude her vibes are fucking rancid, shes like a factory of bad energy mass producing negativity and polluting the local well with her toxic waste lmao

if i never see her again itll be too soon tbh like i have no idea what id do if i see her in person again

[avocadowarrior]

where is Athena? i can't get milton but i know i can at least make sure she doesn't either

[avocadowarrior]

i tried to tell you all that the commune isnt that bad.

someone called the police, if my family back home finds out i think i'll die from embarrassment

im on my way back to check on the survivors and milton

[avocadowarrior]

wow.

if anyone is wondering about milton, he is in the attic, he is fine.

i was kidnaped quite a while ago, i identified as mormon then.

its all fine though, i was only in the pit for a while, i have never related to mormon culture, the people here helped me realize a lot of things.

i wish i got the attic treatment, but i might not have been as receptive to their words.

[avocadowarrior]

why do i hear maniacal laughing

[avocadowarrior]

ykw? this jovial visitation I am thinking about how I honestly love the inherent absurdity of doctrinal mormonism. there is a part of me that takes perverse and immense pleasure in having been born into the alleged cult of some guy who alleged to have seen an angel in his room 200 years ago and then published possibly the most inexplicable book of morality tales in existence. like yeah, it is my birthright to be an absolute weirdo who's unafraid of hell and is offensive to any and all man-made institutions. it is my right to make the wild claim that I continue to personally receive divine revelation from God Himself. it is my right to have the audacity to be unafraid of death. what are you gonna do about it? stop me??????? lol

[avocadowarrior]

ive been drinking the perimeter sprite cranberries and im a little nervous to admit it now

[avocadowarrior]

🍑 𝕻𝖊𝖆𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖘 𝕻𝖊𝖆𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖘 𝕻𝖊𝖆𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖘 𝕻𝖊𝖆𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖘 𝕻𝖊𝖆𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖘 🍑

[avocadowarrior]

sorry, i can post about mormon stuff if you want to defeat that

You people need to post more. How am I supposed to defeat you with FACTS and LOGIC if there are no posts to complain about?

[avocadowarrior]

hey guys, please take the trash out when the bag is full, we have a lot of fruit so bugs would suck

@tree-of-growth

[avocadowarrior]

self diagnosing as "just dramatic" and moving on

[avocadowarrior]

I have to disagree with the asker, my wife is very funny while I am not

I don't think women can be funny. I wouldn't consider myself a misogynist or even transphobe, as so often comes with my ideology (All genders deserve equal pay and voting rights of course.) Transgender people in my eye are a little complicated because there is nonbinary and such, but generally "binaries" in regards to transgender people fall into their cisgender counterparts' categories. This is also a possible way to determine someone's "true gender" (if a man is not funny it is likely she will come out as transgender in the future.) I have seen female comedians and such but they have a different way of carrying themselves that tells me they do not know how to make a joke. Discovering your blog has been interesting to me because you seem to understand comedy much better than other females. Maybe you're not quite to the gold standard that men have achieved and perhaps your prowess is due to the Internet being a different medium but you have merit that many don't. Consider a career in screenwriting.

oh um. thank you? i guess ?? i have no idea if this is a troll ask or not but since its on my main blog i guess ill answer it seriously since this isn’t like. a character.

i do think women can be funny !! i am very flattered that you think im an exception to your rule but i think its kinda bullshit ! i’ve been in school for screenwriting for about two years now and i’ve had the pleasure of reading a lot of really wonderful and funny scripts written by women. to be honest i very much prefer to read scripts written by women in my classes. a lot of the guys in film school have very inflated egos and i often find their writing to be nothing special or even sometimes downright boring. this doesn’t go for everyone of course, my friend who got me into screenwriting is a guy and he’s an incredible writer and very funny.

i would also argue that holding the opinion that women aren’t funny is in fact misogynistic!! women aren’t a monolith- we’re all unique individuals with very little/no intellectual difference to men. any difference that is there i’d argue is due to patriarchal conditioning.

um but anyway. i do appreciate that you think im funny, i dont feel funny a lot of the time. i dont think any of my written posts on here are particularly comedic either, these days. are you referring to my character sideblogs?

feel free to send me an ask anytime, this was very entertaining.

[avocadowarrior]

i never really met any trans people in the church

my new roommates are all very unique in those aspects and they all seem so nice

if mormons say they don't like trans then they would get in trouble, so if mormons are rude the trans people will not join

the Mormon church: we’re not transphobic! All are welcome!

Also the Mormon church: you can be a member but you’re not allowed around children, and if you’re a trans youth you’re not allowed to spend the night with the youth! Also members are allowed to deadname you if they want and you can’t do anything about it… but still come to church! we want you here :)

[avocadowarrior]

i can confirm, dinos are great

"Mormons don't believe in evolution!! They think dinosaurs weren't real" my sibling in Christ, one of the most popular elective classes at BYU is literally called Dinosaurs. And it is exclusively about dinosaurs. What are you on

[avocadowarrior]

poor thing, its so unique and beautiful and nature punishes it for that

Have you ever seen a pink grasshopper? Though the meadow grasshopper (Chorthippus parallelus) is typically distinguished by its green and brown coloration, a genetic mutation called erythrism leaves some individuals looking pretty in pink! Erythrism is the overproduction of red pigment. While these rare insects are beautiful to look at, pink grasshoppers are hindered by their vivid coloring because it makes hiding from predators much more difficult.

Photo: Back from the Brink, CC BY-NC 2.0, flickr (Meadow grasshopper nymph pictured)

[avocadowarrior]

I went here for my honeymoon, its so pretty but napa is pretty boring when you are mormon

the most viewed image in the world is ‘bliss’ by Charles o’rear (1941). It was featured as a default windows xp background.

“Bliss” was taken in January 1996 while driving through California’s napa and sonoma counties.

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