avpdculture

[avpdculture]

AvPD culture is making all my ocs confident and assertive to make up for the fact i'm not

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[avpdculture]

Avpd + system (syscourse) culture is oooooohhh no everybody hates me for my endo stance they're gonna harass me i should have never came out as plural i should have never ever looked into this stuff aaughgjdbsnzbnzbhbbhhhhhhh LETS SWITCH ACCOUNTS!!

(oooo i pray -🌐🖱 isnt taken...)

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[avpdculture]

suspected avpd culture is being incredibly anxious that someone will see you researching avpd and judge you?

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[avpdculture]

Suspected AVPD + plural culture is being an introject/fictive of a character that your friends despise, and the shame forces you into dormancy.

Also I wonder, is there a sort of anger or rage that others w/ AVPD experience when they're feeling forced to flee and isolate?

Personally I didn't really have a choice, but flight is better than fight, and yet I feel so pissed off that I have to hide like this. Would love to fight our friends if I had the courage to do so, but I don't. I'm so used to distancing myself.

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[avpdculture]

AvPD culture is... people in your circle telling you that you need to set boundaries because you can't set boundaries for shit, but then, when you actually set boundaries with those same people, they get super upset with you, and now you go back to square one thinking that everyone hates you and you should never speak/get close to anyone new again 🥲

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[avpdculture]

AvPD culture is feeling like a kid in a Ghibli movie when you have a safe person. And missing that feeling when you don't

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[avpdculture]

suspected avpd w bpd traits culture is ,, Hmm i want to change something on my phone or profile or whtever...

guys what do you think of this :) guys what do you think of this :) guys what do you think of this :)

answer now. i want to change it but i need your approval in order to do it even though it absolutely does not affect them..

and then when they ask why im asking them instead of just doing it because it doesnt matter that much i feel like a complete Loser with a capital L and they have to hate me (they dont) and i go sulk away from them

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[avpdculture]

avpd culture is texting/typing to a bunch of people on the internet thinking “wow I’m so sociable, I probably don’t have avpd” and then talking to even just family members IRL, spiraling about the facial expressions they gave you, and barely functioning in conversation. “yeah,.. okay nevermind :(“

🔮

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[avpdculture]

positive avpd culture is appreciating this blog and the space it provides for us to vent out our experiences and see that we aren't totally alone in feeling this way. really. i know all of us are suffering but i really feel seen and having a group where you can actually relate to everyone's experiences is refreshing

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[avpdculture]

suspected avpd culture is being unable to bear being around other people, even friends, when you feel mentally unwell even if the problem at the moment is unrelated to avpd. my ocd has been really bad lately and even though i don't get intrusive thoughts about hurting my friends at all, i still find it overwhelming and unbearable to be in their presence

the same thing happened a few semesters ago where i failed a class because physically being there made me feel like my organs were in a meat grinder

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[avpdculture]

avpd + plural culture is your headmates not identifying with/as having avpd but still having to deal with avpd symptoms bc your a proxy system

sorry guys...

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[avpdculture]

avpd culture is making an embarrassing comment on a video by a youtuber you like and then never watching them again.

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[avpdculture]

avpd culture is realising that you have intertwined your life with someone else's so much that leaving them, which your brain desperately wants to do, will leave a hole so big in your heart that life will become straight up unbearable. getting attached to people sure is a nightmare

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[avpdculture]

(suspected/questioning) avpd culture is being so dependent on your safe person who is much more independent and feeling as if your presence is merely dragging them down. you pay so much attention to what signals they may or may not be conveying and feel rejection from them from the most minute of behaviors (sorry if this went a little into vent territory)

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[avpdculture]

AvPD + chronic illness culture is. . . being too scared of talking to a doctor to get help you desparately need. Like what do you mean the "Hurt by Judgment" disorder and "heavily judged Hurting Syndrome" can both happen at the same time

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[avpdculture]

AvPD culture is trying out an AI chatbot instead of talking to a human, then realizing that your brain is looking for clues that you agitate the robot with the things you say and coming up with reasons why you should stop talking to it. I was able to reason my way through that one, but WHEW I didn't realize it was my first instinct always. 🥴

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[avpdculture]

Gay and (suspected) AvPD culture is going to pride events alone, seeing everyone happy with their friend groups and partners, and thinking to yourself "maybe I don't have as much in common with these people as much I thought I did." You'll never get a taste of that "queer joy," whatever it is. It is unknown to you.

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