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[awarenesswarriors]

Who is to Blame?

When is something your responsibility and when does responsibility fall to someone else?

It’s a hard one to answer because of the confusion that so often hangs around the question.

Out of this confusion are many people carrying the weight of things that are not theirs to hold, and many who neglect taking account of themselves and their own actions. Not because they are weak or bad people, but because there is so much emotional avoidance going on that by osmosis it’s often how we learn to deal with emotional stress.

Have you ever felt pressure to make someone else feel better when you did nothing wrong, even at your own expense? Have you ever felt that you had to swallow your own truth to protect yourself from harm? Have you ever received the brunt of a bully’s anger and felt like it must be happening to you because of you? If you have, you’re not alone.

I grew up in a home where people didn’t take emotional responsibility for themselves. I learnt that I was responsible for their balance and their happiness. It was drummed into me that if someone else was upset or angry, even if it wasn’t my fault, the onus was on me to do something about it, not them. I was bullied for a long time too and because of what was happening at home, I just felt like I must have deserved it.

Problem is, when we believe what we are told about ourselves, verbally and physically, by people who are being emotionally avoidant, or cruel and angry, we are also believing their avoidant or abusive behaviour is justified. In other words: “It’s my fault because I’m a bad person, or not valuable enough, or not pretty enough, or not smart enough.” When we spin that line in our own heads for long enough we can end up feeling pretty depressed, seriously angry or start people-pleasing to stay safe or be liked.

Responsibility is really complex because it poses two questions: What did I contribute to a problem, and how do I work out what the other person brought to the party? Learning the difference boils down to becoming emotionally responsible for yourself. It requires that you know yourself, know what your motivations are, what your triggers are, what your strengths are, what your dreams are. 

The only way to be able to know when to step up and put your hand up, or step back and hand it back, is if you have learnt the internal landscape of your own self.

That is the primary responsibility you have, that we all have, to ourselves.

There’s no way round it, gotta do the work. BUT if you spend just 10 minutes a day reflecting on your interactions, on your feelings, on your thoughts, on your sense of what you contribute, you will carve your internal world with great skill because you will be making conscious decisions about yourself.

When you build on your inner awareness you bring this into your relationships. When the inevitable problems or disagreements happen, you will bring a sense of self to the friction that actually helps to create resolutions.

In an aware sense of self you are a powerful contributor, clear negotiator and calm collaborator.

If you have nothing to apologise for then you are not responsible for fixing someone else’s emotional state. And it works both ways. No one else is responsible for how you feel either.

If someone hurts you, it’s important to make the distinction between their actions and your feelings. They are responsible for the action, but you are responsible for your response.

Aggressively releasing grief or anger or persistently holding a grudge are choices - hard sometimes not to do, but choices nonetheless. There is, however, always another way, once you learn how. When you can learn to understand why a person hurt you, what might be driving them emotionally to behave that way, you can find your way out of blame.

When you step out of blaming them or yourself, you step into emotional responsibility.

Otherwise known as your Power.

Neglecting our internal emotional responsibilities is so common that we often don’t even realise it’s happening. But, when we wake up and step into Awareness, our experiences, particularly the difficult ones, provide us with fresh opportunities to step into our Power.

We all need to be responsible for our emotional selves, and when someone else isn’t doing that, it’s never your fault.

Want to become an Awareness Warrior? - Join Here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/awarenessshows

Click here: http://ow.ly/aqjH300H5u3 to get the Awareness Warriors info pack!

Krista Fuller, www.runeink.net

[awarenesswarriors]

Our main artist for Awareness Shows Rich Latimer and his band Very Unique Existence have just released their album, this is one of there songs.  If you like Soundgarden, Pearl Jam & Red Hot Chili Peppers you will LOVE this song. A strong beat for a strong message.  Full album available here www.heartheheart.me  Thanks for listening keep on being awesome.

[awarenesswarriors]

Here's a quick snippet of an Awareness Shows down in Torquay at Surf Coast Secondary College.  It was a beautiful winters day where Rich shared his love for music with stories and messages of strength and kinship in the face of adversity. The 2016 Awareness Show was a hit with more to come. Thanks to ALL Rich Training clients for your support and thanks to SCSC for having us.  An Awareness Show is a concert/show where the musician uses song, lyrics, story and ambiance to create a rich and open atmosphere where messages of hope, truth, kinship and passion can touch the hearts and minds of the young people (and even the teachers) that are present.

[awarenesswarriors]

Click here: https://youtu.be/z_qZbmNwKHw to watch a personal message from Rich latimer the founder and artist in Awareness Shows to the students of Surf Coast Secondary College in Tourquay VIC...  as he was interviewed by the youth connector for Awareness Warriors Eli Johnson... and if you want to join the warriors click here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/awarenessshows

[awarenesswarriors]

Click the link to Watch Rich Latimer being interviewed by Eli Johnson the youth connector for Awareness Shows about the relaunch show at Surf Coast Secondary College

[awarenesswarriors]

THE RAPTURE AND CHAOS OF LOVE.

Love can feel like being catapulted to emotional highs that you never believed possible, while the lows can come as devastating shocks with deep, heartfelt pain. Such can be the nature of love – it’s quite a ride. So why on Earth do we do it?!

That brain ticking away inside our heads is wired to seek out connection with other people. We need each other, for many reasons, and this need has helped us immensely through our evolutionary journey.

We experience different types of love from when are first born and as we get older our understanding and experience of love grows with us (well, that’s the plan at least). Loving our families is the love of kinship bonds. It’s true and real and we depend on it to learn how to value ourselves through being seen, listened to and understood. This teaches us that we are deserving of receiving love, it is where we first practice giving love, and in many ways it sets up our path through love that is yet to come.

We take our early nuggets of love into our friendships where we experiment more and learn more about connecting with people through our feelings and our commitments. And then, one day, calm seas and clear minds become a distant memory as hormones bring another kind of love into the forefront of our minds – romantic, passionate love, bringing with it excitement and fear.

First, romantic, passionate relationships are powerful experiences. They are rarely forgotten and they set the stage for lifelong feelings you have around love, trust and intimacy. If you are ready and willing to take up the power of passionate love, here is a list of some good things to keep in mind:

 It’s most likely going to blow your mind so try not to let it take control of you. The chemicals getting set off in your brain as you go through the experience of passionate love can be pretty intense. It’s important to be aware of this so that you can recognise when you need to regain some balance. Your friends, grades, job and other interests still matter!

 While it may only be your first or second crack at passionate love, do what you can to love well. Healthy love respects boundaries, understands the importance of expressing feelings respectfully (even when it’s hard to do) and aims for a balanced perspective around commitment to each other and freedom to be your own person.

 Choose your love interests wisely because you will carry this experience with you into your future relationships. If it applies to you, it is well worth asking the question:

“Why am I attracted to this person who has a criminal record, doesn’t want to finish school and gets plastered every weekend?”

 Practise safe sex! Condoms, condoms, condoms, condoms, condoms, condoms,condoms. Not using condoms = disease and pregnancy. Using condoms = a rollicking good time. It’s very straightforward: condoms.

 Sometimes parents can find it difficult to appreciate how important these relationships are. If your parents aren’t taking your relationship seriously you can try to help them understand your experience more. They can check out Google with searches like: “Help! My teenager is falling in love and I feel like he/she is slipping awwwwwaaaayyyyy!!!!!” As long as they are throwing condoms at you while having their freak out it should hopefully all resolve with some good research and education on their part.

 If your passionate romance draws to a natural close it doesn’t mean you have to stop loving. Remember, if you are the ‘dumper’ how you deliver the news will have an enduring affect of the person being dumped, and you will remember how you handled yourself at this time for the rest of your life. It will be rewarding to be able to look back and remember having done it with compassion.

 If you lose a relationship that you did not want to end it’s so important to find ways to move through the loss and the grief by reaching out for support. Don’t try to suck it up, or stuff it down. You’ve seen what this does to adults. Take this time to be with your feelings and learn about your emotions by talking, sharing, writing, punching a pillow to within an inch of its life, crying until you’re eyelids refuse to blink and then staring blankly at the ceiling for hours, playing sport, being around friends and people who validate and care for you, spoiling yourself with massages and gifts or immersing yourself in your favourite music. Ride the waves of grief without suppressing them and you will feel healed that much sooner.

There are many different types of love and our families, friends and lovers all teach us, in different ways, what love can be - from the highs to the lows - and this is how it should be. The most important thing to remember is always do what you can to love well because every time you love someone with a smile, a touch or just a helping hand, you teach them their value and in doing so you reveal your own.

Do share! What are your stories of love? How do you show love?

Want to become an Awareness Warrior? - Join Here:https://www.facebook.com/groups/awarenessshows

Click here: http://ow.ly/aqjH300H5u3 to get the Awareness Warriors info pack!

Krista Fuller, www.runeink.net

[awarenesswarriors]

THE FISH WHO COULDN’T CLIMB A TREE.

For all intents and purposes I was the dumbest kid in the class for most of my school life. Fail, fail, fail was the mantra of my report cards and I left high school feeling like I would lead a dull and uninspired existence, and this is exactly what happened until a life changing moment spun me in a new direction - I took a risk that led me to my true path and my true self. On reflection, it turned out that I was just a fish who couldn’t climb a tree.

I now know that I was born to be a writer but it wasn’t a smooth start. On the day of my final Year 11 English exam I had forty minutes to write a creative writing piece on any topic I chose. When I put pen to paper I fell into an existential rabbit hole, lost all sense of time and place, and didn’t ‘come to’ until I put the final full stop at the end of the last sentence on the last page. I have never forgotten the feeling that experience left me with, or the result I got the following day. My essay was handed back; I turned it over with my heart throbbing in my ears and was devastated to see a gigantic red D plastered in the corner with the comment: “Nice try but it’s not realistic enough.”

Not realistic enough? It’s CREATIVE WRITING! I was too sad about it to be angry for very long. I didn’t understand how such an intense and right-feeling experience could result in a fail. So maybe my piece wasn’t a literary masterpiece but it was definitely creative, and it definitely came from a place within me that was begging to be unlocked. The D, though, made me feel like a failure all over again. But it turned out that I was just a fish who couldn’t climb a tree.

For a long time intelligence was measured on how everyone did at a certain set of tasks via the IQ (intelligence quotient) test. Answers to the IQ test would be checked and your level of intelligence was levelled at you based on your overall score. We used the score to answer the question: Am I smart, am I stupid or do I fall somewhere in between?

Intelligence itself refers to how you process and express knowledge. These days the IQ test still comes out with an overall score but it also measure strengths and weaknesses across specific areas, which is an important development.

In 1983, psychologist Howard Gardner felt that our understanding of intelligence was too narrow and he came up with the Theory of Multiple Intelligences. It began with seven different types and has subsequently expanded out to nine. They are:

Logical/Mathematical – Number & Reasoning Smart: With an edge on this kind of intelligence you are good at reason, critical thinking, numbers, science and abstraction.

Spatial - Picture Smart: This intelligence refers to our ability to see with the minds eye – to be able to visualise pictures, architecture and design within our minds so well that we can bring them to life in the observable world.

Linguistic - Word Smart: Word smart means you’ll love words and how they collaborate into sentences and then into stories – this is to possess a love of language.

Body/Kinaesthetic – Body Smart: Body smart people learn to process the world through their bodies. They prefer to experience their intelligence through physical work and skills. They can be drawn to acting, surgery or sports.

Musical – Sound Smart: Musical intelligence means possessing sensitivity to sound and rhythm and can be strongly linked to linguistic intelligence.

Interpersonal – People Smart: People smart intelligence means you are good at interacting with other people; you are sensitive to others’ moods and feelings and may be naturally drawn towards cooperation - a good skill to have in managerial or teaching roles.

Intrapersonal – Self Smart: This is a key aspect to heightened self-awareness, a desire for self-reflection and introspection. I have used this extensively when wanting to understand the wisdom of philosophy or psychology.

Naturalistic – Nature Smart: If you have naturalistic intelligence you will prefer to learn through the expressions found in nature and will excel when working in natural surroundings.

Existential – Soul Smart: Existential intelligence refers to being drawn to understanding phenomena outside the five senses and a there will be a yearning to find answers to the big questions like “Why are we here?” and “Where are we going?” Philosophers and scientists are often soul smart.

There are many overlaps in the different types of intelligences and you are likely to possess a little of each. The important thing to look out for is the intelligence types that are particularly resonant for you, where you feel most in tune with yourself.

When you work out which ones give you the most joy, it is from this place that you can make your best choices around life and career.

We are all intelligent in our own brain-mapped, specific ways. There is no one way to understand and process the world and no one way to express or work within it. To find out how to live a life that you can be passionate about and fulfilled by then investigate the different intelligences and discover the ways you best like to learn and best like to live. And try not to get put off by the occasional D along the way. You might just be a fish who’s being asked to climb a tree.

How do you express your fabulous intelligence? Which of the intelligences sing out to you the most?

To share more of your particular gifts, you can connect with the Awareness Warriors here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/awarenessshows.

Click here: http://ow.ly/aqjH300H5u3 to get the Awareness Warriors info pack!

Krista Fuller, http://www.runeink.net