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if a woman is over 35 and you think she’s hot you can just say that you don’t have to call her a milf

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Little old Italian lady: Do you have zucchini?

Me: Yes, right here.

Lady: Is how much?

Me: $2.99 a pound.

Lady: It's usually $1.49.

Me: Yes, in the summer.

Lady, pauses, then grabs two: I put it in a soup.

Me: Oh nice, what kind are you making?

Lady: You will not fantasize about my soup.

And then she walked away. "You will not fantasize about my soup" will be in my head forever. I love you, little old Italian lady.

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Sabrina the Teenage Witch – 4.08: Aging Not So Gracefully

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second chances

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guy who is definitely not about to fall into a surprise midday nap with an aftermath worse than a hangover: it seems like a really good idea to lay in bed and get cozy under the blanket as part of my plan not to fall asleep. I do not know why.

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"you can't just relate everything back to this ship" prepare to be stunned and amazed at how little control i have over my own brain

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#he doesn’t love the drama, the drama loves him

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THE PRINCESS DIARIES 2001 — dir. Garry Marshall

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💃💃 is it chill that you’re in my head? 💃💃

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going through my texts and reminiscing about my favorite security codes i was sent this year

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TAYLOR SWIFT Kansas City Chiefs vs New England Patriots football game

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THE WEST WING | 4.01 20 Hours in America (Part I)