awkvamp

[awkvamp]

[awkvamp]

𝗆𝖾𝗎 𓋭 𝗏𝗂𝗋𝗂𝖽𝖺́𝗋𝗂𝗈 

α𝗆𝖻𝗂𝖾𝗇𝗍𝖾 𝗋𝗈𝗌α ⎯ 𝗇𝖺𝗌𝖼𝖾𝗋 𝖽𝗈 𝑠𝑜𝑙 𖤓

 𓌋 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗃𝗈𝗌 𝓮 𝖻𝖺𝗅𝖺 𝖽𝖾 𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝝰.

 𝒏𝒐𝒔 𝗆𝖾𝗎𝗌 𝖽𝖾𝗌𝗏α𝗇𝖾𝗂𝗈𝓼.

❀ inspi. @mafleur 𝓮 @espuor .

[awkvamp]

𝒜𝗆𝗈𝗋 ﹠ 𝚁𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚊𝚌̧𝚘̃𝚎𝚜

𝒩𝗈𝗂𝗍𝖾𝗌 ᜑ 𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗋𝖾𝗅𝖺𝖽𝖺𝗌 ㅤ⋆    

𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚘́𝚛𝚒𝚊𝚜 🗝️ 𝗇𝗈𝗌𝗌𝖺𝗌 ✿̣˔

𝗆𝖺𝗇𝗁𝖺̃𝗌 𝓬𝓸𝓶 𝐯𝐨𝐜𝐞̂ ᤣ९ 

ᥒᥱᥕ   ⁞  𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻

﹫𝑠𝑜𝑖𝑙_𝑒 𔘓 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑡

[awkvamp]

i think i have the "bad person" kind of mental illness

not the kind that makes you kill or rape or whatever else

but the kind that makes you cry for attention

cut for attention

avoid meals for attention

lose weight for attention

have sex for the attention

i thought forever that i had the sad kind that makes you so shy and desirable and protectable

the kind everyone else seems to have

the insecure kind where all you need is a few kind words

it looks like i have the cutting-off-my-friends kind

the "when will you fucking love me" kind

the begging you to change the song because i'm so scared someone's going to hum too much like my mom kind

the kind that makes me shake when you go off-script (my script)

i hold myself back from telling you i'll kill myself if i don't get my way

because i know it'll work

i know it'll make you fear my absence as much as i fear yours

it makes me second-guess my abuse, but i don't think i was a bad person until i was at least 14

right?

right?

sorry everyone.

well, i'm not sorry is the thing.

that's the problem.

cause i think i have the kind where memories are replaced by lies

you know the one

and i don't even feel too guilty

cause the lies are just as scary as what i think may be the truth

but i can't remember

doesn't matter. i don't care.

r.r. chariot

[awkvamp]

just wanna share that yesterday i had a stressing day and was feeling really upset about things, then my girlfriend made me a sandwich and cocoa milk, put on hello kitty and cuddled me until i fell asleep. she's everything, she's the loml.

[awkvamp]

Things that need to be said:

"Easy baby, don't choke yet."

"Aw, are my hands not tight enough around your throat?"

"Good boy. That's a gooood fuckin' boy."

"Aht, what did I say about touching?"

"Shit. Fuck. That's it. Take it all. I know you can take it."

"Goddamn, puppy. Look at you."

That's all. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[awkvamp]

tw substance mention

yes physical pain hurts but knowing i will smoke, drink, get high, kiss broken girls with ash on their lips and smoke on their tongues hurts so much more and i will do it all and then some. i am predetermined to be broken. it was written in the stars that i will shatter slowly, slowly, then all at once and over again until the pieces of me are crushed under the heel of every dream i’ve ever had.

-uhh, aster? i’m usually a safe bet

[awkvamp]

You're art, but not the sort of art I want to show the world. I want to keep you hidden like the precious pages in the sketchbook I keep from people. You're mine to admire, and mine alone. My personal piece of art.

[awkvamp]

me for @1800igirl 🧟‍♀️

[awkvamp]

[awkvamp]

don’t talk to me i will become obsessed with you and make it a problem for both of us

[awkvamp]

“Baby’s all dressed up with nowhere to go…” 👠💄💋🖤🥂

[awkvamp]

[awkvamp]

you want so badly to be pure again, you call yourself a doll, a lamb,

an innocent little thing.

but the color pink doesn't wash away sin,

and rosaries don't make you any less scared of god.

[awkvamp]

I wish lesbians were as easy to find in real life as they are on tumblr

[awkvamp]

[awkvamp]

Ruining a toy's orgasm after a long day is a much better punishment than just edging.

Picture your brat thinking they've finally gotten away with something. They think you don't know they've broken a rule, because they're in the middle of their favorite reward already. Why suspect anything?

Mommy feels so good they can't stand it, and everything's coming to a head-

Until suddenly it's sour.

It's not as good, mommy changed their rhythm at the last minute- let go when they were supposed to squeeze. And you can keep doing it too. Every time they think they've gotten away with something, spoil their reward.

They're too silly to know what you're doing, but they'll be needier than an edge can get them. And needy toys are good toys. Just make sure you let them have a good one every now and then, so they can't get used to a ruined orgasm. Make sure they always know they're missing out, just not why.