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Trying a new style

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I draw a cover for every single chapter of The Brothers Karamazov (but I can only use MS Paint)

Book I: The History of a Family

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i think about this daily

can we talk about how Merlin, the young boy who carried the destiny of a great kingdom on his shoulders, wanted to run away with the one he loved, Freya, leaving everything behind, just so he could save his beloved but couldn’t do that because of his duty, and then; when Mordred wanted to run away with his loved one, the same Merlin, as a man carrying the destiny of the kingdom, looked at him in the eye for a second, and told him that it was foolish.

That’s how the young boy turned into a young man. Having to leave behind his heart for his destiny.

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hey i have an oc now

her name is leyla in case you’re wondering hehe

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“For you, I’m going to hope that you never even catch a cold.”

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he’s like damn she’s crazy i love her so much

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This man is so done 😂😂😂😂

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first time i saw this scene, i was so confused. but i realized on my rewatch that it’s likely an allusion to homophobia. we can draw this conclusion from the previous scene’s foreshadowing: hannibal and will are inappropriately drinking together during a therapy session. at the end, hannibal licks his lips and gawks at will. then it transitions.

the cut is intentional bc afterwards, we get a b&w flashback of hannibal’s dehumanizing experience with the rude medical examiner:

andrew caldwell: “any other infections?”

hannibal: “you seem convinced i’m diseased.”

andrew caldwell: “i was asking a broader question. a disease is an infection. an infection isn’t always a disease.”

instead of asking outright andrew says, “you should just tell me now, because i’m going to find out, and it will affect your insurance if you lie.” tho it’s unclear if hannibal disclosed his sexual history or andrew presumed it, it’s boorish. not only is he accusing hannibal of having HIV on the assumption he’s gay (HIV = viral infection if left untreated can develop into AIDS; which can be seen as a disease), but he’s also calling him a scammer (HIV+ ppl pay higher insurance rates). he may also be backhandedly calling homosexuality a “disease.” it’s dually offensive bc as a fellow doctor, hannibal realizes he’s not respected.

this theme is further explored in hannibal/franklyn’s session when he bluntly asks, “do you desire tobias sexually?” it’s revealed hannibal’s sexual interests are ‘broad’ (andrew’s indirect question) and he does desire will sexually. even if the relationship isn’t physical; highlighted by his freakout over will’s missed appt. hannibal’s quandary is: is he in love or does he simply crave friendship? it’s both, but he also desires power. hannibal mirrors andrew’s hostility (subconsciously) bc the exam left him feeling powerless. subsequently, will has also rendered him powerless, bc he now sees himself as the franklyn.

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my dostoevsky portrait series so far: the karamazov brothers with mitya, ivan & alyosha and raskolnikov from crime and punishment <3

blorbos from my russian novels… blorbovs if u will

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When Bedelia says that "Betrayal and forgiveness are... best seen as something akin to falling in love." she was so right, and I don't mean just romantically, but platonically as well. In order to really love someone first they have to betray you by breaking down the version of themselves that was constructed in your mind; first they have to bare themselves and be forgiven for being a real person, who doesn't have their flaws obstructed or softened by shadows, which cannot be found innocent of them in your eyes. You have to accept their guiltiness completely, insted of living with the suspicion, denying their true nature in order to enjoy the good parts of them as if they represented the whole. You'll only love them by forgiving them for this. By accepting who they are, rather than what you thought they were, the ideal you would like them to be.

That's why Hannibal had to betray Will by the end of season one and force him to confront the fact that he is the cheasepeak ripper and not just his friendly therapist; that's why Will had to betray Hannibal in season two, and force him to see he's not the killer Hannibal thought he were (at least, not completely). Both of them were showing only the parts of themselves that would apease the other, feed into their fantasies; it wasn't a outright lie, but it wasn't the entirety of it, and thus, it didn't allow the other to see them truly until the betrayal. Hannibal's love for Will is consummated by him turning himself in, showcasing his forgiveness: Will's love for Hannibal is consummated by killing Dolarhyde with him.

Also, Hannibal's answer to Bedelia “you cannot control with respect to whom you fall in love” implying that despite himself, he cannot help but forgive Will, even though he's not sure he believes Will's forgiviness of him in this episode to be for real.

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was violently compelled to do this

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i think i saw a cottontail rabbit….

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yeah read that book magic boy

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can we talk about how Merlin, the young boy who carried the destiny of a great kingdom on his shoulders, wanted to run away with the one he loved, Freya, leaving everything behind, just so he could save his beloved but couldn’t do that because of his duty, and then; when Mordred wanted to run away with his loved one, the same Merlin, as a man carrying the destiny of the kingdom, looked at him in the eye for a second, and told him that it was foolish.

That’s how the young boy turned into a young man. Having to leave behind his heart for his destiny.

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I can choke down the bile, manufacture empathy—when our subjects are at least informative.