elaborate on the canon dragon cock,
I am soooooo glad you asked it's been driving me nuts that Ryoko Kui gave us this gift and most of the fandom doesn't even realize it
Falin was fused with a male dragon. and you can literally see her dragon dick in some scenes. Thistle has her straight up spread eagle with their foot resting on her dick at one point!!!!
and like here's the thing I understand if ppl missed that. bc it's kinda subtle! but ryoko kui is a MASTER of anatomy, and she's also known to be a bit of a monster fucker (under exaggeration lol). She knew exactly what she was doing and this was a gift that she bestowed upon us and I think we need to appreciate this gift horse!!!
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Btw in my quest for information i found out one of the new lead writers's name is daichi hiroi.
He wrote the bard quests and the magical ranged dps quests for shb and pandemonium i think the game's in good hands
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It's so hard to find the grace for me to let my wounded spirit accept hands so warm
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the unspoken connection between all the CUL and ALC handing out their biweekly leves for 1 million gil
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is it awfully late at night for this? yes. but I just finished off a bottle of the worst watermelon liquor Ive ever purchased so
the pros and cons of each are below the cut, have at!
the Official Ophianne Love Life Fight
Artoirel de Fortemps
pros: probably the only stable relationship Ophianne has ever had, they both love music, witty banter goes hard
cons: right person wrong time but if it was the right person would there be a wrong time, she did the whole "ishgard noble's wife" thing once and it ended poorly, their dads are dating now and that makes the whole vibe REALLY weird, she had five years in the First to get over the breakup
Thancred Waters
pros: the OG love interest, both huge flirts, Ryne's parents fr, combat couple, he is SO much shorter than her, he constantly plays into her theatrical dramatics, no one else can make her laugh the same way
cons: they fight a lot tbh, he tends to run off and do his own thing and she has very specific daddy issues about that, they havent really spent much time together since ShB
Altani Dotharl
pros: tiny lesbian x super tall pansexual, would kill and die for Ophianne without hesitation, lowkey got that yandere vibe
cons: it was kinda a short fling, they really dont see each other much, lowkey got that yandere vibe
Guhthaerz
pros: hot and never wears a shirt, both have pirate backgrounds, actually someone that's taller than her for once, is absolutely so super into Ophianne, mid battle flirting all the time, almost holds his liquor better than she does - almost
cons: kinda sorta might be working for the villains, she's only flirting with him because her life has gotten too stable, they like just met, also again he's working for the bad guys and keeps ending up in fights with her niece
YOUR wol/oc
pros/cons: i dunno you tell me lmao
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in my head the star wars equivalent of tswift is some human woman named tay’lor spiff or something and her stans are losing their minds over theories that she’s secretly a jedi singing about the horrors of war, even though she’s from a neutral system that hasn’t seen so much as a moral panic in 50 years
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ok so like. imagine. you're a high-ranking government official and one of your colleagues has announced his decision to step down and retire, and named his successor, so you and your coworker-bestie-husband(™️) go on an official administrative business trip to go meet said guy. and then you arrive and you find A Cat in the bushes outside the office. it's in poor shape but its microchip says it actually belongs to your other colleague-and-friend. you are bullied into taking the cat to the vet AND letting it tag along despite your protests. and you finally find the guy you were supposed to meet and the cat is like. staying in the room. where you are supposed to conduct aforementioned highly confidential job interview. and you try to shoo it away but the guy you're trying to interview is like No i want the cat to be there. Because i'm nervous. About the job interview. Let the cat stay. I trust him because my pet bird loves him :). so the cat gets to stay. and then you keep going and you bump into yet another old acquaintance of yours (now retired and living her best hippie life) (which is highly frowned upon) and she goes Oooooh! Is that my cat you've found? :) and you're like, what the fuck is the deal with this goddamn cat, but you can't say that outright because you are a government official on a very important mission, so you go "i wasn't aware you even had a cat? also the microchip says it belongs to our other colleague" and she goes "oh well no i don't but clearly this cat is wearing the collar i give to all my pets so it must mean he's come from the future :) where i will own this specific cat :) hi little kitty! pspspsp!" and you're like, what the fuck is wrong with everyone today? and then the cat looks at you and says "she's right. i come from the future. where everyone has been turned into cats since the world ended. also i will kill you in about twelve thousand years from now. fucker."
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