azrielstaylorsversion

[azrielstaylorsversion]

Just a friend

Azriel x reader

When two best friends are in love with each other and they finally get one last push, what will become of their relationship?

My laugh echoes through the room as Azriel tells me about his biggest and definitely most embarrassing mission scandal.

We have been talking for hours at this point. It was just past midnight. We did this at least a few times per week. Or at least we tried to, when we weren't working too hard.

The two of us were curled up on the couch in front of the crackling fireplace of the one of the many rooms of the House of Wind.

A blanket is pulled over my body with a hot cup of tea in my hands, trying not to spill the hot water as my body shakes with laughter.

Az is sitting next to me while I am laying down, using his lap to rest my legs on. One of his hands rests just above my knee. He always needed to touch me somehow.

"That didn't happen." I laugh again.

Azriel chuckles, "It did. And I'm not proud of it, but it makes a good story."

I watch his face lighten with happiness. Something I like about him in private; the way he laughs and smiles.

His shadows float through my hair. I don't even really notice it anymore, they are just there. A part of me, just like Az is a part of me. In a way.

Best friend.

Azriel's relaxed body stiffens slightly, his attention turning towards the door.

"Who is it?" I ask.

He turns his face back to me. "Late night talks are over." he gently pats my leg. "Cass needs me in three.. two..--"

He is cut off by the door swinging open. Cassian walks in, Nests following close behind. They both look irritated in their own way.

Their eyes fall on us. Nesta's eyes linger just a few seconds too long, curiosity shining in them.

"Sorry Y/N, gonna take Az from you." he hauls his brother from the couch and drags him along.

Azriel turns around one more time and smiles, mouthing help.

They disappear out of the room while Nesta lets herself fall down on the couch next to me.

"What did you do?" I ask her.

"More like what I didn't do." she says with a slight smirk on her face. I laugh, ready to ask her about the details. "Before you speak we are going to talk about something else."

"What is it?" I ask confused.

"When are you and Az just going to admit it." she sighs.

"What?" I ask stunned.

"Oh stop that. You know what I'm talking about. You're in love with him, he's in love with you." Nesta explains.

I open my mouth to say something, but I can't find the words.

"He's so in love with you. Why won't you see it." she groans.

"I don't know what you mean." I tell her, trying to keep my cheeks from turning red.

"Hm, let me see; the way he looks at you. He never looks at anyone that way. You make him light up, he actually jokes around you, the way you two are always cuddled up, how he almost always has a hand somewhere on your body. Oh, and when he talks about you when you're not in the room." Nesta says. "He's madly in love with you."

My cheeks turn more red. "That's what best friends do."

Nesta let's out a laugh. "Definitely not. Maybe some things, but not the touching thing. Oh, and how he always looks at you when you aren't paying attention."

I progress her words. Did I love him? No doubt. But with Nesta telling me this, I actually started to believe it could be mutual.

We've known each other for centuries, so if I even as much as ruined our friendship I would be heartbroken.

"Just talk and see where that gets you." Nesta smiles.

I toss and turn in my bed. The sheets and pillows are too warm, but when I get out of bed everything is too cold.

The moon shines through my windows, but I'm too lazy to do something about the bright light.

The thought of Azriel runs through my mind. It's all Azriel, Azriel, Azriel.

Nesta's words hang heavy in my head.

I sigh and push the sheets off my body. I make my way to the closet to throw a sweater over my nightgown and walk for the door.

I don't hesitate to open it and walk straight through.

Azriel's room isn't far away from mine. Where my room is at the very beginning of the hallway, his is at the very end.

I've been inside his room many times, but never have I actually been nervous to enter.

I move my hand to knock, but the door already opens, revealing a very much awake Az. A very much awake Az with a black eye and split lip.

The nervousness disappears and worry replaces it. "Are you okay?" I ask.

"You should see Cass."

I stare at him, unsure what to do now.

"What are you doing here?" he asks with that loving tone.

"I-.. I can't stop thinking." I decide to tell him.

"Do you want to come in?" he already steps aside.

I nod and walk inside as he closes the door. His familiar smell fills my nose. What was I doing...

Azriel sits down on his bed, patting the spot next to him.

I sit down and he immediately grabs my hand.

"Why do you do that?" I ask without thinking, remembering Nesta's words.

I look at Azriel's stunned face.

"Because.." he doesn't seem to progress his own words. "Because I want to be close to you."

There is actually tension between us and I hate it. This doesn't feel nice.

"Is that what best friends do?" I ask him.

He looks down at our intertwined hands. "Maybe some, but.."

"But what?"

He sighs, but not in a irritated way. "I like touching you. I like being near you. I like your presence and the way you talk. And I just overall love you."

I stare at him. "Like.. Like what? A friend?"

"No, I love you. Not in a friend way." he finally says.

Even though it was my plan to confess, he did it before I got the chance.

He notices the way my face falls. Worry takes over his features. "I'm sorry if I ruined--"

"I love you too. I love you so much." I remove my hands from his and place them against his face. "You have no idea how much I love you and how much I've loved you for years."

He laughs, his eyes slightly glistening with tears. "You have no idea how loved you make me feel. Even as a friend, you saved me."

He pulls my body closer to his, leaning in to kiss me. I gladly let him, pressing my lips against his.

He pulls me on his lap, and as we kiss, something snaps.

I pull my face away from him, looking at him. I didn't have to look twice to see if he really felt that too.

"Mate." I whisper.

"You're my mate." Azriel says softly.

[azrielstaylorsversion]

Brotherly support

Azriel x reader (x Rhysand sibling)

Y/N needs her big brother and tells him the good news she has just received.

My feet carry me to Rhys's office. I hadn't even been aware of it until I was standing in front of his door.

He was still in there, since the lights are on and I know about the loads of work he has to do.

Azriel was currently on a mission. He would be gone until at least tomorrow morning. But I couldn't wait.

I knock twice, waiting for my brother to let me in.

"Come in." he says.

I carefully open the door, finding him behind his desk with only a tiny bit of paperwork left.

His face immediately lightens up when he sees me, a tired smile on his face.

I smile back, trying to hide the nervousness. "I see you're almost done." I point out, walking over the chair on the other side of his desk, right in front of him.

"Yes. Well, this could've waited until tomorrow, but I would rather have it done right now." he tells me, looking me over.

I try and speak, but he cuts me off. "What's wrong?" he asks gently.

I try to brush it off. Did I even want to tell him? "Nothing is wrong. I just wanted to see you." I try.

He stares at me for a few seconds. "You don't have to worry about him you know?"

"Oh-. No that isn't... No that isn't the problem. I know I'll see him tomorrow." I tell him, looking at my hands.

"So there is a problem?" he says. "What is it? Did something happen? Are you hurt? Is there something with Az?" worry takes over his voice.

My eyes go wide. "No. No, I'm not hurt. And no Azriel has nothing to do with... this." I say. "Well he has something to do with it, but not right now--" I start spitting out my words nervously.

I suddenly stand. "You know what, I should go. I'll see you tomorrow." I turn to walk away, but Rhys is already standing in front of me.

He takes my hands in his. "Just sit down and tell me what's wrong. You're worrying me." he tells me gently. "Please?"

I feel tears welling in my eyes, but I quickly swallow them back. I know Rhys can see I'm getting emotional. He knows me way too well.

I nod. "Okay." I sit down again. Rhys moves behind his desk and sits down as well.

He looks at me, waiting for me to speak, but he doesn't push.

"So, I've been experiencing some.. sickness for the last two weeks. And I tried to hide it, but it's gotten ten times worse over the last few days."

Rhys's comforting face shifts with worry. "You've never been sick. Are you alright?"

I take a deep breath before speaking. "Well, I went to see Madja about two hours ago, just as she was about to close for the day. And-" I say, looking everywhere but my brother's eyes. "well, I got the news I had expected. But since Az is gone I needed to see you. And I don't know what to do or how to tell him. What if he leaves me? I don't want him to do that." I start talking way too fast for my own brain to follow.

Rhys stops me. "What news did you expect?"

I finally look at him. Of course I had forgotten to tell him that part. "I'm pregnant Rhys."

I had never seen Rhys like this. I couldn't tell if he was angry or happy or sad.

"And you're happy with it?" he asks.

I nod carefully.

He stands and walks over to me, pulling me up into a big warm hug. "Then I am happy too." he says, hugger me tightly.

He releases me from the hug, "Why are you crying?" I hadn't even noticed I was crying.

I laugh, wiping the tears away. "Too many emotions."

He holds my hand. "Az doesn't know?"

I shake my head.

"Do you want me to ask him to come home right now?" he asks.

I shake my head again. "It's only a few more hours. I'll tell him tomorrow." I smile at my brother.

He puts a hand on my back, leading me out of the room. "Why don't we have a sibling evening."

I chuckle. "But it's already midnight."

"So?"

A rough warm hand caresses my cheek. I groan as light fills my vision.

"Hey." a gentle deep voice says. My favorite voice in the world.

I keep my eyes closed, but my arms open for my mate.

He chuckles and carefully lays down next to me, taking me into his arms instead.

"When did you get back?" I ask him while wrapping my arms around his body.

"A few minutes ago." he tells me. "I went to give a report to Rhys, but he told me to see you first."

My eyes shoot open, remembering yesterday.

"Is everything okay?" he asks, putting his hand on my cheek again. He must've felt my panic.

I look up at him for a few seconds. "Yes. But there is something you need to know."

He looks at me with curiosity. "Well, what is it? You're kind of confusing me."

I sit up. "So you know I've been a bit sick." I say.

"Well that doesn't sound very comforting. But yes, I know."

I snort. "Well, it turns out to be a good kind of sick."

He raises his eyebrows. "Good?" I can see him think, giving him a few more seconds to figure it out himself.

I can see the exact moment he realizes. His face turns into shock and excitement. "Are you..?"

I nod, feeling myself get emotional. "Yes I am."

Azriel laughs and throws his arms around me, hugging me tightly. "I can't believe it."

I hug him back. This was the reaction I had hoped for. Tears fall down my face and a sob leaves my mouth.

Azriel pulls away from me to look at my face. "Hey what's wrong? This is happy news right?"

"Happy tears." I sob again. "I don't know why I'm so emotional."

He wipes my tears away with his thumbs. "We're going to be parents." he says with excitement.

I nod, letting out a laugh and kissing him.

He slowly pulls away from me. "Does Rhys know? Is that why he told me to see you first?" Azriel asks.

I nod again. "I told him last night after I visited Madja. I didn't know what to do."

"And he wasn't like... mad?" Azriel asks me.

"No Az, he isn't going to try and kill you for getting me pregnant. He was really happy actually." I tell him with a laugh. "And even if he wasn't, it wouldn't matter. We are happy. That's all that matters."

Azriel lets out a sigh of relief. "That's good."

"It's finally happening." I whisper. "We'll be parents in a few months."

Azriel smiles. "Yes we will." he pulls me as close as possible, tugging me to lay down in bed.

That's how we stayed for the following hours, wrapped in each others warmth, talking about baby names and the possible gender. Simply perfect.

[azrielstaylorsversion]

Unspoken fights

Azriel x reader

Feyre wonders why Azriel and his mate aren't speaking to each other. Rhys explains about there unusual communication habits and she feels the need to fix it.

There were still two empty seats around the dinner table. Everyone had started eating already, not wanting to wait another half hour for Azriel and Y/N.

It didn't take much longer before they came walking in. Feyre quickly noticed them walking a few feet apart from each other. At least not as close as they usually were with each other.

Y/N walked in front of Azriel, her face showing no sign of emotion. She walked straight for Cassian's seat instead of the two empty ones on the other side of the table.

Azriel sighed softly and took a seat in one of the empty seats, immediately filling his plate with food. He didn't even acknowledge his family.

"Move." Y/N ordered Cassian, leaving no room for any argument. To Feyre's surprise, Cassian listened and moved over to the seat next to Azriel, leaving Y/N to sit next to Mor.

Cassian turned to face Azriel. His mouth opened to say something, but Azriel cut him off before he even got the chance to. "Don't even start." he said to his brother, not bothering to look at him.

Feyre watched the mated couple with concern. They never acted like this. At least not to her knowledge.

Feyre reached for Rhys mentally. 'What is going on with them?'

Rhys also watched the two and sighed, shaking his head. 'Probably a disagreement. This never lasts long. They will make up and talk about it tonight and tomorrow it is as it never happened.'

Y/N had now started eating as well, ignoring Cassians pointed look for claiming his seat. Azriel on the other hand had stopped eating and was just staring at the wall with a grumpy face.

'Does this happen often?' Feyre questioned.

'Not really. Maybe once a year.' Rhys answered. 'They have their disagreements and differences, but they always talk about it immediately. They never let it get as far as... whatever this is.'

After dinner everyone went their own way. Except for Y/N, who decided to stay in the dinning room even when Azriel had left.

Feyre had seen Azriel glance at his mate for a moment, hesitating to walk towards her before he continued to walk out.

It was well past midnight when Feyre decided to get something to drink from the kitchen. She noticed the lights in the dining hall still being turned on.

Feyre poked her head inside, finding Y/N still in the same place she had last seen her. She was staring at the wall in front of her, an empty glass of wine on the table.

"Y/N?" Feyre said softly.

She almost jumped from the sound of her voice. "Oh, Feyre. Sorry I didn't see you there."

Feyre stood in the doorway. "Are you okay?" she asked her friend.

Y/N stayed silent for a short moment, her face filling with emotion. "Yes. Everything is okay."

Feyre could tell that the answer wasn't true.

"I actually wondered if I could stay here for the night?" she asked.

The question shocked Feyre a bit. As far as she knew, Y/N had never voluntarily slept away from home. Away from her mate.

"Yes, of course. But are you sure you don't want to go home?" she still decided to ask.

Y/N stood from her seat, making her way towards the door Feyre was standing.

"I'm sure. If you don't mind, I'll be going to my old room." she said, giving Feyre a tight mouthed smile and walking past her.

She obviously meant her and Az's old room. She always called it that.

Feyre decided to leave it for the night and return to her own mate, who was waiting for her upstairs.

The next morning Y/N ate breakfast with her, Rhys and Nyx. Her mood was definitely off.

She normally wasn't much of a talker, but now she was just quiet. She also looked extremely tired, as if she hadn't slept at all last night.

'Shouldn't they be back to normal by now?' Feyre asked Rhys mentally.

'Honestly, the fact that she even chose to sleep here last night does worry me.' Rhys told me.

Feyre debated saying something about it, but Rhys warned her before she had the chance. 'They'll be back to normal by tonight.' Rhys told her promising, even when he didn't sound so sure herself.

Y/N had disappeared during the day. Probably off to her normal duties.

Feyre felt surprised when she entered the River House in the afternoon and found Y/N sitting in the living room, with no sign of Azriel.

She greeted Feyre with a soft smile before sitting down on a chair by the fire.

"So did you do anything fun today?" she suddenly asked.

"I took a walk with Nyx and helped Rhys with work. Nothing more." Feyre asked with a smile. "What about you?" she asked with hesitation.

Y/N sighed, staying silent after. Then she just shrugged. "Not really. I just feel.. I don't know."

Feyre suddenly understood why she started a conversation. Y/N wanted distraction.

"It's okay to miss him. Even it's been a day." Feyre decided to tell her. Y/N just avoided her eyes at that.

She stayed silent for a good ten seconds.

"It's just so stupid." she said.

"What is stupid?" Feyre questioned.

"This whole pointless fight. I mean I started it. I got mad about something that wasn't even his fault. And I just wanted to be right so bad." she started speaking quickly. "And I made him feel so bad and I didn't even mean it like that. I just felt jealous. And now I ruined everything and-"

"Calm down a second. You're just spitting out your words at this point." Feyre chuckled. "Why were you jealous?"

Y/N stared into the crackling fire, hiding her face from Feyre. "A Fae woman stopped Azriel on our way to dinner to ask him something. She touched his arm." she told me. "And he immediately pulled away. He was just being polite by answering her. But I still got so mad and it was just stupid."

Feyre did understand her jealousy. She had experienced it with Rhys countless of times before.

"Even after being mated for decades I still sometimes get periods where my instincts are worse than normal. Just before we entered the River House I decided to ignore him. And just to prove a point I stayed away from him last night. But now I feel so guilty. And he's probably mad at me at this point." she sounded disappointed with herself.

Feyre moved over to her friend. "Of course he's not mad at you." Feyre told her reassuring. "It's Azriel. He loves you too much to be mad at you over this."

Y/N slowly moved her eyes to look at Feyre. She nodded to herself. "Yes. Yes, I hope so." she said. "But I haven't acted this childish in years. So I can understand if he were mad at me."

"Trust me, I would've had the same reaction as you." Feyre told her with a small laugh. "Why don't we ask Azriel to come here so you can explain it to him? I'll be here if you need me."

She nodded. "Yes. That'll probably be a good idea." she answered. "I'll see if I can get to him through the bond."

It didn't take very long before the front door of the River House opened and closed. The sound of it was soft, like someone who usually came in with no sound.

Azriel definitely let his presence be known by his footsteps, which were heavier than usual.

When Azriel entered the room, Y/N immediately stood from her seat.

"Az, I'm sor-"

"I'm so s-"

They both cut each other off.

Y/N stared at Azriel. "What do you need to be sorry for? It was me who did it." she took a step closer to her mate.

"Yes, but I still have to apologize for even letting that woman get close to me, I shouldn't have."

"No, you don't need to apologize for being kind towards a woman. I could see you pull away. And she only placed a hand on you. I am the one who should be sorry."

Azriel went quiet for a few seconds. Y/N stared at him with emotion in her eyes.

Who knew that the two of them had arguments like this. I was just sitting in a chair, watching them.

"This is so stupid." Azriel said.

A small smile formed on Y/N lips. "It is." she told him. "But I understand if you're mad at me."

"Of course I'm not mad at you. I did the same thing at the start of our relationship, remember? And that was before we were even mated. So I understand." he told her. "Come here." he opened his arms for her to walk in to.

I could hear Y/N whisper some things to her mate, but I soon felt like I was invading their privacy.

Azriel noticed my awkward look and smiled. He placed a hand on the small of Y/N's back. "Let's go home." he told her softly.

She nodded and let him lead her out of the room.

She threw a quick look over her shoulder, mouthing thank you to Feyre.

[azrielstaylorsversion]

Confessing

Azriel x reader

Y/N comes home bloodied head to toe. Azriel has been worried sick and helps her, leading to a long overdue confession.

"Stop being so fidgety. It's annoying." Cassian huffs. I only glare at him, not even bothering to tell him to shut up.

"She'll be back soon, don't worry." Feyre says from across the room, a comforting smile on her face. She is the only one in this room who doesn't mock my behavior.

I've been feeling so worried. She had to be back by now. It was taking way too long.

"I think you should confess your feelings towards her. And don't tell me; oh but she's just my best friend! I'm just worried! Because no, this isn't best friend behavior." Cassian speaks.

"If you say one more useless word I will punch you in the throat." and I really mean it. I was getting sick of their childish behavior.

Rhys chuckles. He likes seeing me get fed up.

He needs to shut up most of all. He was the one who had decided to send her on this mission. Not that she couldn't handle any of it.

She never took longer than she needed. Never. She was always back early or right on time. And this wasn't a particularly easy mission.

I had spend my entire morning pacing the length of my room.

She was supposed to be back in the morning. It was now later in evening.

I could see from Rhys's behavior that he was worried too, but he wasn't going to admit it. He knew that her taking too long wasn't good.

"Can't you just reach out to her?" I ask for the third time.

Rhys sighs. "No. It's too risky." he tells me again.

My shadows are growing more restless with every passing second.

Just as I was about to argue with Rhys again, the front door to the River House opens and closeses

I jump to my feet, waiting for anyone to appear.

She slowly comes into view. I feel sick to my stomach when I finally take her in.

"I think I need some help." she speaks.

I immediately rush to her side, not caring if the blood stains my clothes, which it was definitely going to do.

"Are you okay?" I ask worriedly.

"Hi Az." she still manages to say with a smile. Her entire body weight leans against mine.

"What happened?" Rhys had rushed to her side too, looking her over. "Do I need to call Madja?" he ask.

She looks around the room with some sort of confusion. "No. I think it's okay. I think I need to rest." she tells Rhys way too calm. She is acting weird.

Her hand found its way to my back, holding on for support. Her fingers are almost digging into me.

She needs to get away from here.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Rhys asks calmy. Feyre has moved to his side now, Cassian not too far behind.

Her eyes flicker to mine for just a second while moving the hand and fingers on my back again. "I will tell you the details later, but they are dead as you requested. Everything went well, except for this." she says. "I-.. I think I need rest. Please."

Anger fills my body. "You send her on an assasination mission?" I ask Rhys angirly.

Rhys sighs, but before I can yell at him I feel a hand against my chest. "Az. Not now." she speaks softly. I immediately shut my mouth.

"I will see you later Rhys, okay?" she says. The High Lord nods, his eyes on her for a few seconds too long. They are definitely speaking mind to mind. After those seconds he nods a second time before smiling at her and turning around to lead Feyre and Cassian away.

She tugs on my sleeve. "Come. Help me upstairs please." she asks, her voice calm.

I don't hesitate before helping her limping body up the stairs. We don't speak until we reach her room.

She carefully sits down on her bed, wincing while doing so. The mask of calmness slowly slips away.

Pain and panic replaces it instead.

I could finally really look at her body. She is covered in blood from head to toe. I wasn't sure if all of it was her own blood. I was almost certain it wasn't, but a lot of it was hers.

A groan escapes her lips. I make my way over to her side, sitting down on the already blood stained sheets and wrapping my arms around her body.

"I really need to make sure that you're not seriously injured somewhere. I can't really make I out." I tell her gently, moving my hand to remove the sticky hair from her face.

She shakes her head. "I have a few cuts. Some are deep, but they are already healing. The blood is a mix of mine and theirs." she tells me.

I put a hand on her cheek, making her turn her eyes to mine. "Please tell me what I can do to make you feel better."

She blinks, staring into my eyes. After a few seconds she shakes her head. "I just think I need a bath."

I nod, standing from her bed and making my way over to the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" she asks.

"Getting the bath ready for you." I tell her, not bothering to look back.

She stands from the bed and I can hear her wince, which did make me turn around.

"Why don't you just sit down and wait until I have the bath ready." I try.

"No." she makes her way over to me.

I sigh, but I know that there would be no point in arguing.

I make my way into her connecting bathroom, getting the bath ready. I especially make sure to have the right temperature she likes.

She is sitting on the edge of the large bath, staring at me. I can only stare back at her bloody body, making myself look away after a few seconds.

"You're worried." she says.

I don't look her way, grabbing the stuff she likes to put in her bath. "Of course I am." I answer her.

"You know I will always come back to you, right?" she speaks soothingly.

I freeze at her words, my eyes flickering to hers for a second. "Yes, of course." I answer. I move away from the bath, giving her space. "I will wait outside. Just say when you need anything." I tell her.

I wait outside of the bathroom, sitting down on her bed. I need to see her be okay and clean. I couldn't inspect her injuries through all the blood.

It took about twenty minutes when the door finally opens. She walks out in only a towel. It was a miracle that all the blood was gone.

I was finally able to tell where she is hurt. And as I had expected, she had lied about her injuries.

She avoids my eyes, noticing me picking up her injuries. She immediately makes her way over to her closet to take out something to sleep in. Something to cover everything up.

There was a large open gash down her leg along with a large open cut on her left arm. There are many bruises and other smaller cuts on her entire body.

"You should've told me." I tell her.

She stills, but doesn't turn around. I can hear her sigh softly. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to prove myself."

She still doesn't move my way, instead making her way back inside the bathroom.

I stand from the bed, making my way towards the door. She clearly doesn't want to talk to me.

My body is thrown back before I reach the door. My shadows are blocking me from taking the last few steps, pulling at my arms and legs to go back to the bed.

I struggle against their grip, but they only get stronger. I sigh and give in, returning back to the bed.

The moment I sit down she walks out of the bathroom, finally looking at me.

"If you want me to leave, I will, but the shadows..." I tell her. She cuts me off by holding up her arms, showing me the shadow curled around it.

"I don't want you to leave." she says. "And your shadows really don't want you either." she adds with a chuckle.

"What did you mean when you said you just wanted to prove yourself?" I ask her.

She walks over to where i'm sitting, taking a seat next to me. "I had a conversation with Rhys last week. He told me I needed to 'be more careful' on missions." she folds her hands nervously.

I hate to admit that I agree with Rhys's words. She had been a little less careful on missions lately. Like coming back with injuries or almost getting caught. My version of solving that problem was helping her and training her more. Rhys on the other hand had thought that talking her into wanting to prove herself would help.

"I took it too far. I was afraid that Rhys would remove me from my position." she admits.

"You know that Rhys would never do that." I tell her, sounding as comforting as possible.

My shadows curl around her arms and legs. I can see her smile slightly.

My shadows really love her. They always have.

"I'm still scared that there's no place for me in this job. I fail all the time and I-"

"Stop." I break her off. "Just stop talking. Please." I tell her as kindly as possible.

She looks at me with surprise.

I take her hand. "Just because you get hurt a few times doesn't mean you are not meant for this job. I've gotten hurt countless of times. I can help you. We can go on a few missions together." I offer. I don't want her to lose confidence just because it went wrong a few times.

"You really don't have to waste your time on me. I could get another job or whatever." she rants, avoiding my eyes.

"You love spying right?" I ask her.

She looks up at me. "Yes, but-"

"So if I can help you and you can continue to do this than it's not a waste of time." I tell her, squeezing her hand. "If I can help you proceed to do the things you love, that's all that matters to me. I would spend all my time on you if that's what you need."

She just stares at me, processing my words. Than she laughs. "I-I don't know what to say. But thank you." she tells me.

I smile at her. "You got me really worried while you were gone." I admit. I point to her body. "Still do."

She sighs, but smiles. "The wounds are already healing. I promise to get the ones that don't heal by tomorrow morning checked out."

"Okay. That's a good promise." I tell her. My shadows move around her body, searching for wounds. They love her so much.

She climbs further up her bed, moving over to her pillows, sitting against the headboard. She looks at me and pats the spot next to her on her too large bed.

The bed was definitely designed for lllyrians, so there was enough space for me to lay down.

I move onto my side so that I can face her. "You should sleep instead of making me stay and talk to you." I grin.

She chuckles. "Well, I can make you stay and sleep. I enjoy your presence just as much as your talking." she tells me, grabbing my scarred hands. "Thank you for always being there for me."

I smile. "Of course. You're my best friend." I say, even though saying best friend didn't sound right.

I love her. But not like I love Cass or Rhys or Feyre. I really love her. My family has been teasing me about it for years now, telling me to just make a move, telling me she feels the same. But if she really feels the same, why doesn't she say anything?

But again, I don't tell her about it. She might have the same reason for not telling me.

"Best friend." she muttered, her eyes on our intertwined hands. My shadows brushed against them.

"What?" I ask.

"I'm sorry I-.. I feel like I need to tell you this." she says, her eyes still on our hands. "This might ruin everything, but hearing you say best friend while I want it to be so much more is difficult."

My eyes stay on her face, not knowing what to say. "Are you serious?" I only manage to say.

She looks at me swiftly before looking away again. "I am." she answers quietly.

She notices how I don't say another thing, shifting uncomfortably. "I'm sorry I know I shouldn't have said that. You can leave if you--"

I cut her off by putting a hand on her cheek, making her stop talking and stare at me. I don't know how to use my words, so I lean in to kiss her.

I had expected her to move away or laugh at me. Telling me it was just a joke.

But it wasn't.

She gladly let me press my lips against hers, kissing me back immediately.

After a few seconds she pulled away, staring at me and suddenly laughing. "I've liked you for years. This is so weird."

I stare at her. "What, years?" I question. "You're telling me I could've done this years ago?" I say.

"Wait you liked me before?" she asks, looking confused.

"I've been in love with you since the night Rhys brought you home to meet us all." I tell her, moving my thumb over her cheek.

She smiles. "You love me?"

I nod. "Of course I love you."

She kisses me again. "I love you too." she whispers against my lips.

I smile down at her and deepen the kiss, holding her closely.

After a few breathless minutes she is the one to break the kiss. "I love all of this and you so much, but I'm actually exhausted and maybe a tiny bit in pain, so I would like to continue this in the morning."

"That's totally fine." I brush a strand of hair out of her face. "Do you want me to stay here?"

She nods, smiling. "Please."

I move my body under the covers, pulling her into my arms. My arms wrap tightly around her waist, being careful about not hurting her in the process.

She puts her head on my chest, placing a kiss on it. "Goodnight Az." she says softly.

I place a kiss on top of her head. "Goodnight."

[azrielstaylorsversion]

Secrets

Azriel x reader

You and Azriel have been secretly together and mated for multiple years. When Azriel proposes to you, the two of you feel the need to tell your family about your relationship.

"We should tell them." you said to your mate.

Azriel's hand stopped moving up and down your bare back. "Are you sure?"

You nodded, a smile forming on your face. "We've kept this from them for way too long. I know we both like to be private, but I think this is for the best." you told him. "There is no danger. There is no one who can currently use this against us. We are just way too used to this secretive stuff."

Azriel chuckled and kissed you, holding you closely. "We'll need to come up with a way to tell them." he started. "It's not like we can walk into the room holding hands and yell; Hey! Just wanna let you guys know, we've been mated for many years and now we are also engaged and we are going to marry soon!"

You let out a small chuckle. "We could actually do that. Or we let them figure out on their own." you put your hand on Azriel's cheek.

"That would actually be way more fun." he said.

Being two of the most important spies of the Night Court, the two of you knew how to hide your relationship. Sure your family knew about your close friendship, but they didn't know you were together. Or better, mated.

At the start of your relationship you and Azriel had decided that you would keep things private because of your job. But since everything had calmed down in Prythian, you could tell them.

It wasn't like you didn't trust your family. You just wanted to be private. Both of you had been private your entire life, so this wouldn't be anything new.

They also never questioned when the two of you disappeared for hours or even days. They just thought you were attending some important business.

There had been a few close calls with being caught. For example; falling asleep together on the couch or being found in bed together, but every time it worked out.

"So, we just act like we're together?" he asked you.

It sounded so stupid. Maybe it was. "Yes. Simple as that."

"So, I can kiss you in public?" he asked with a small grin.

"If you want to. It's more safe in the world than before, I don't think anyone seeing us together would cause us any harm." you told him, smiling. "And we can have our wedding with our family attending."

You could feel Azriel's happiness down the bond. "Let's give them a while to process all of this once they get it. Then we can plan the wedding."

You placed a kiss on his cheek. "Of course. But first let them figure out on their own. It'll be fun."

The two of you were having way too much fun with this.

It had been a little over a week since deciding to stop hiding. It wasn't like the two of you had full make out sessions in front of them, but you often shared small touches or smiles with each other.

Cassian had been the most suspicious out of all of them, but no one dared to comment on your changed behavior towards each other.

No one had even said a word about Feyre catching you walk out of Azriel's room yesterday morning, in your sleeping clothes. You had just casually waved while she had looked at you with confusion

You and Azriel had been sitting together at every family gathering. He would even hold your hand or place a hand on your thigh under the table. Your family had given you more questioned looks, but again, they didn't bother to say anything out loud.

Feyre had made a small comment on it during your girls night a few days ago. You had just shrugged and continued talking about something else, but you never denied it.

"Are you ready?" Azriel's voice sounded on the other side of the door.

You walked towards the door, opening it so you could walk out.

Azriel smiled at the sight of you. There was another fancy family dinner tonight. You were all dressed up, wearing a beautiful blue dress to match Azriel's siphons.

"You look amazing." he told you as you walked forward and put your arms around his neck, standing on your tiptoes.

You brought your face close to his. "You don't look too bad yourself." you whispered before closing the distance and kissing him.

A cough made you pull away from him, your body immediately moving towards the sound.

Rhys was standing a few feet away from you with a shit eating grin on his face.

You and Azriel both stayed quiet while Rhys's grin only widened. "I've known for a while now, don't worry."

Your eyes widened. "Wait, you knew? Why didn't you say anything?" you questioned.

Rhys chuckled. "I know how secretive and private the two of you like to be. I kept it quiet. No one else knows." he told you.

You sighed. "We have actually been trying to show it to you guys, but no one asks any questions. They just watch." you said. "How'd you even know?"

"I knew you were Az's type from the day I met you all those decades ago. This was going to happen eventually." Rhysand said.

"Thank you. For keeping it a secret." Azriel spoke suddenly.

Rhys moved to lean against the wall. "So how long have the two of you actually been together?"

You grinned. "Only together? Or maybe more?" you said.

Rhys's face changed. "What do you mean?"

"Why don't you ask again during dinner so everyone will know." you told your friend while Azriel put a comforting hand on your shoulder.

Rhys had been staring at you and your mate for almost an hour. You and Azriel were sitting closely to each other, his arm over the back of your chair.

"Will you explain it now?" Rhysand's voice sounded through the room, the question directed towards you.

Everyone noticed Rhys's eyes on you and Azriel, so they all turned to look at you.

"Finally someone who says anything!" Cassian groaned. "I thought I was going crazy, but you guys are... closer than normal."

You sat up straighter, Azriel's hand moving from the chair to your thigh, giving you an encouraging squeeze.

"Okay, please don't be mad at us..." you were immediately cut off by Feyre.

"Are you two finally together!" she exclaimed happily, clapping her hands together.

"No--yes, what? Wait what do you mean finally?" you said, totally forgetting to make your own point.

"I mean, we've all known the two of you would be perfect together and--" Rhys put a hand on Feyre's shoulder.

"Feyre darling, I really love your enthusiasm, but I think we should let Y/N and Azriel speak first." he told his mate gently.

Feyre smiled at her mate. "Of course."

You cleared your throat. "Yes, we are together." you turned your head to look at Azriel. He only nodded and smiled.

You turned your head back to your family. "In fact, we've been mated for multiple years and we're planning on also marrying soon." you spitted out.

Everyone looked at the two of you with wide eyes.

"You two are mates?" Mor asked, her face showing signs of happiness.

"For multiple years?" Cassian asked, his mouth almost hanging open. "How the hell didn't I know this?" he almost yelled.

"No one did. Only Rhys figured out that we are together recently." Azriel told his brother, sounding slightly annoyed.

"I should've known the two of you weren't always working together. Going away on missions every other week." Amren said while leaning back in her chair.

"Just to clear things up, we actually do go on missions together for the missions. Not only to be alone." you told her, even though you understood why she thought that.

"I've seen you guys sneak out of each others room multiple times." Nesta said. "I don't know why I didn't see it earlier. I just thought the two of you worked closely a lot."

"Wait, did you say you were planning on marrying?" Mor asked happily.

You nodded, holding up your hand and removing the glamour around the beautiful ring around your finger.

"Does this mean we can help you plan the wedding?" Feyre said, almost jumping from her seat.

You chuckled. "Yes, of course."

You put your other hand on top of Azriel's, who still rested on top of your thigh.

He stayed quiet throughout the entire conversation, but you could feel his love and confort down the bond.

Everyone took turns in inspecting the beautiful ring Azriel had gotten you, congratulation the two of you.

Luckily they understood why you had kept it from them. That it had been for your own safety, but that it was now finally time to share this with the world.

After a while everyone had returned to their own food and conversations, leaving you to talk with Azriel.

"That went better than expected. I thought they might get mad." you told your mate, leaning into his warmth.

"Of course not." he ensured you, putting a hand on your cheek.

You smiled at him as he leaned in to kiss you, and you gladly let him even though it felt a bit unnatural to do this in front of your family.

But even after years of being mated you couldn't get enough of him.

"I'm never going to get used to this." Cassian's voice made you break apart from Azriel, who sighed at his brothers words.

Feyre was also staring at you, a wide grin on her face.

"Can you just shut up." you groaned at Cassian, trying to hold your laugh. His offended face was the funniest thing ever.

Mor clapped her hands together, grabbing everyones attention. "So when are we going to be planning the wedding?"

You turned to face Azriel again, smiling at your mate. "Soon."

[azrielstaylorsversion]

Scars to match mine - Part 2

Azriel x reader

Part 1

Warnings: burns, bad thoughts

After being brought home safely by Azriel, Y/N has to heal. Her mate makes sure she makes it through.

I wince, pulling my hands back. I was being stubborn again. I wasn't even supposed to pick things up yet, but everyone was out of the house, so no one would be able to tell me not to do it.

I sigh to myself, feeling helpless. But most of all, I felt worthless. I try not to show Azriel my true feelings about my hands, being scared I might hurt his feelings in the progress.

While I love his scars, I hate my own.

I had only seen them once. That was last week. It's been three weeks since it happened.

Madja has changed my bandages a few times now, but I refused to look. When I watched her do it last week I immediately regretted it.

When the kind healer had left, I locked myself in the bathroom for hours. Crying until there were no tears left.

Luckily for me, Azriel wasn't home that day. I didn't want him to see me like that.

He comforted me every evening, telling me how beautiful I looked and how lovely I am. I always accepted his kind words, but something inside of me told me not to believe him.

Every time I had to remind myself to look at his scars. His beautiful scars. That I could love my own like I loved his, but a second later that thought would disappear, a bad one replacing it.

I hadn't really been out of the house in the last few weeks. I enjoyed the quiet around our small home. It was far enough away from the busy streets of Velaris to never be bothered by any sounds.

My head was pounding from all the thoughts when my mind came back to reality. My eyes fell on the book that had fallen to the ground.

I put my bandaged hands over my face, groaning loudly.

I wasn't even able to pick up a book. I wanted to scream, to break things, but instead I chose to sit down in front of the fire place. Without a book.

Or anything to drink or eat. I had tried to get something for myself, but it hurt too much, and I didn't really enjoy the thought of grabbing things with my arms or mouth. Even the thought of picking something up with my feet had crossed my mind.

I felt a comforting brush through the bond, letting me know Azriel was near. He always did that.

I had blocked the bond enough for the last few weeks to make it pass as normal so he wouldn't question all my weird thoughts and feelings.

The front door of our house opened and closed softly. A few seconds later Azriel appeared in the doorway, smiling at me as he made his way over.

I tried to return the smile as best as possible, but I could already see and feel his confusion grow as he saw me sitting helplessly on the couch.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes scanning around the room and landing on the book on the ground.

He didn't give me time to answer. "You should've called for me." he spoke softly.

I swallowed. "I know."

He picked up the book, handing it to me. I awkwardly tried to take it before he pulled it away from me.

"I don't care what you tell me. I can tell that you've been hiding from me and telling me half truths." he said, his voice firm but soft.

I tried to speak, but I couldn't find the right words. My mouth opened and closed. He was totally right. I sighed in defeat.

"How are your hands feeling?" he asked again. "And don't tell me 'fine' or 'better'. I need a real answer." he walked over to the couch, sitting down next to me. He placed a hand on my shoulder, making me look at him.

I hesitated, but moved over to his side. He wrapped his arms around me, being careful with my hands.

"It's not fine. Or better." I spoke softly.

"Tell me about it." he placed a kiss against my temple, moving his hand up and down my arm.

I sighed. "The feeling is weird, but it hurts. I can't pick anything up. I feel helpless all the time. I feel worthless. I hate all of it." the words spilled out of my mouth.

Azriel stiffened, his hand stopping for a few seconds before continuing. "And why do you feel helpless? Why do you feel worthless?"

I regretted my words now. "I... I can't do anything." I was talking to my mate. I could tell him anything. "I hate myself for letting this happen. I hate myself for the scars it will leave." I immediately turned ny head around. "I mean.. my scars. Not yours. Yours are beautiful. I just-, I just feel so weird and different and I don't really want to talk about it, but I need to. I can't just shut you out. I am so sorry." I was just rambling at this point, but Azriel kept his eyes on me, listening to every word.

After I stopped myself from talking more I turned my head away from Azriel, feeling too embarrassed. I really didn't want to hurt him with my own insecurities.

"Your words don't hurt me. I know you think that." he said softly.

He knew me better than anyone else.

He put one hand on my side, the other on my cheek. "I can't fix your hands. But I can help you with the healing process." he told me softly. "Everything will be okay. We'll get through this together."

I leaned into his touch, blinking away the tears at his kind words. I nodded in agreement.

He gently kissed both my bandaged hands before pecking my lips.

"Now tell me what book I can help you pick up."

[azrielstaylorsversion]

Masterlist

Azriel - Acotar

Requests are open (:

✨Scratches - fluff

✨Arrows and lies - fluff / angst

✨To remember - angst / fluff

✨Scars to match mine part one - angst

✨ Scars to match mine part two - fluff

✨ Secrets - fluff

✨ Confessing - fluff / angst

✨ Unspoken fights - angst / fluff

✨ Brotherly support - fluff

✨ Just a friend - fluff

Finished Azriel fan fictions

✨A Court of Shadows and Pain

✨A Court of Lightning and Shadows

[azrielstaylorsversion]

Scars to match mine

Azriel x reader

Warnings: torture, burns

Part 2

When Y/N is captured by the Autumn Court they try to torture information out of her. But what better way to torture someone than with fire?

I wake up with a pounding headache. The world around me was dark. I try to gather my thoughts, remembering where I was.

The last thing I remembered was being outside in the Autumn Court, gathering information on their movements. Then I was attacked. It all came back to me now.

I groan, trying to sit up. My arms and legs hurt, like I had been thrown in here. I manage to get to my feet, in need of finding a way out.

I try reaching out to my mate, but like I expected, there was no sign of the bond.

That was a good thing, I remind myself. This would mean Azriel would know something was wrong. He knew about my whereabouts. He would come looking for me. I just had to be patient.

I slump back against the cold wet wall of the cell I was currently in. It wasn't big, there was nothing but stone in here, along with a strong steel door leading to god knows where.

A sigh escapes my lips, trying to ignore the pain in my body.

I couldn't wait to get home to Azriel, to just get this over with. Rhys would probably give me a lecture about being stupid, even though he never meant it in a bad way. This time it had really been my fault. I knew I was getting too close, the possibility of being attacked very high.

The door to my cell unlocks and gets thrown open, revealing one of the sons of the High Lord of the Autumn Court.

I don't move an inch, keeping my eyes on him and the two guards behind him at all times.

"Good. You're awake." he says rather happily.

I don't give him the satisfaction of a reaction. I just keep staring ahead.

He moves his head to the guards. "Haul her up." he orders them. They do as they are told to.

A small flash of panic flashes through my body, but I push it down.

Their hands are harsh against my body, certainly trying their best to leave bruises. I stand out of free will, but they still keep their strong hold on my body.

"So, you care to explain your plans?" the Autumn son asks.

I stare at him, keeping my mouth shut. He was a fool if he really thought I was going to answer his question. I've been through worse things than torture. This was nothing compared to that.

"Well, if you aren't going to talk I unfortunately have to hurt you." he says with a smile. "But I will try it without that one more time."

He opens his hand, a small ball of fire forming inside of it. I do my best to hide the flicker of fear flashing through me.

Knives, whips, beatings. I could take all of that. But fire.. Fire was one of the worst kinds of torture. Especially with what happened to my mate.

"Tell me why Rhysand send you. What are you doing here?" he tries again.

I let out a small laugh which sounded more like a huff. "You really are dumb." I say to him. He looks offended.

Good.

"I would rather die or be tortured for years then tell you anything about the Night Court." I tell him.

His smile disappears at that. "I kind of wished you would've just answered the question right away. Now I need to ruin your pretty body." he says, his lips tilting upward again.

The ball of fire in his hands grows. A sickening feeling fills my body.

"I think you would like some matching scars with your mate, won't you?" he tells me happily.

This time I don't hide my fear. I thrash against the hands that hold my body, but they were to strong. I couldn't move.

I try to move my hands away, but one of the guards holds them up. There was no way in moving them.

In panic I try to reach for the bond, only to remember it wasn't there.

Yet I keep screaming Azriel's name in my head, hoping for a small way through the blockage.

He now hold the fire dangerously close to my hands. The warmth was terrible.

"One last chance."

"No." I say firmly, preparing myself for the pain to come.

He moves my hands into the ball of fire. Excruciating pain fills my body. Worse than ever.

I cry out, not even trying to hide my pain.

The male was laughing as I keep screaming, begging him to stop.

Everything after happened so fast. I couldn't remember if it had been a few seconds or minutes.

Flashes of blue crossed my vision along with the red of blood.

I fell to the ground, curling up to myself, trying to somehow push my hands away. To get rid of the terrible pain that lingers.

Everything was blurred. But one thing I knew, was that the hands that picked me up were familiar. The voice talking me through my pain was familiair. It was nice.

I could vaguely remember flying. The next vague memory I had was of entering a house, voices yelling and people gathering around me.

I remember telling someone I felt so much pain. I also remember that someone telling me I was going to be okay. That he loved me so much and he wouldn't leave my side.

It was only when someone started touching my hands that I lost consciousness.

The thing I do remember is waking up. My eyes flicker open slowly to find the sun setting outside.

I look around in confusion. I was in my room. In my bed. Mine and Azriel's.

A warm hand places on my arm. I turn my head to find my mate smiling at me. "Are you feeling okay?" he asks gently.

I nod, a bit unsure, still having to process most of it.

His hands cup my face. "I'm so sorry about what happened. And I'm so glad you're okay."

I smile at him, lifting a hand to touch his face... only to find it wrapped in a thick bandage. Both my hands.

Realization shoots through me, along with panic and a bit of pain.

Azriel immediately reaches for me. "Hey, don't panic. It's okay. I'm here." he tells me, staying perfectly calm.

"I-.." I couldn't find my words. "I can't feel anything." I say.

Azriel gives me a sad smile. "Madja gave you something strong against the pain. That's the reason you don't feel your hands." he says. "Hopefully.." he adds quietly. He doesn't need to explain what he means by that.

Azriel's warm smile has disappeared from his face, sadness having taken over.

"Is it bad?" I question quietly.

"Yes. It will hopefully heal with time, but the scarring will stay. It will probably look something like my hands." he explains to me softly.

I always thought Azriel's scars were beautiful. But I never thought I would have to live with them myself. This felt different.

"I will not love you differently because of your scars." he tells me, his hand on my cheek. He must've felt my negative thoughts.

"He told me we would have matching scars." I tell him, not even sure why I was telling him this.

Azriel's body stiffens. He shifts a few seconds later, the bed dipping slightly from his weight. He wraps his strong arms around me carefully, tugging me against his chest. I gladly let him as I keep staring at the wall in front of me.

"Do not think differently about yourself. I know how hard it is, I've been there. I will help you through it, like you have helped me through it."

I snap my attention back to Azriel, my eyes locking with his. I nod, knowing and feeling he meant every word.

I bury my face against his chest, trying not to cry.

He holds me tightly, his hands moving up and down my back while whispering sweet words in to my ears which eventually lulled me back to sleep again.

[azrielstaylorsversion]

To remember

Azriel x reader

Warnings: death, grieve, murder

When Feyre asks Azriel about a certain ring around his finger, the whole room turns quiet. But none of his family members expect him to reply to the question.

Coming home to my family gathered in the living room of the River House was always going to be my favorite thing.

The last week hadn't been a particular easy one, but I had managed to live through it, like I always would.

Cassian passed me a glass of wine, telling me that I needed it. I knew he meant it as a joke, but his sympathetic smile told me enough.

We didn't really speak about it anymore, since it had been decades. None of us did. But the weight of the ring around my finger of my left hand weighed more than usual this week.

I felt Feyre's eyes on me. When I looked at her she smiled, but I soon noticed that her eyes weren't on my face. No, they were on my hand. My left hand.

She was probably just looking at my scars. Most people did. It did bother me a bit, but with my family it was different.

"Azriel, can I ask you something?" Feyre asked. The entire room turned quiet, everyone's attention on me and Feyre.

"Of course." I answered, even though I was not sure I wanted to answer it.

"I keep noticing the ring on your left hand. You seem to play with it a lot. What does it stand for?"

If the room could've turned even more quiet than before, it would.

Feyre looked around in confusion. "Oh sorry, I-..." Rhys put a hand on her arm.

"Feyre, I don't think-"

"No, it's okay." I cut him off. Rhys looked at me.

You don't have to talk about it. He spoke into my mind.

I gave him a tight mouthed smile. I would rather tell her the story myself. She deserves to know about her.

I knew that I wasn't the only one having a hard time with telling this story. Mor had lost her best friend. Cassian and Rhys had lost their best friend. Even Amren had lost a friend that day, if she could even have friends.

And I lost a mate that day.

Feyre looked at me with curiosity, waiting for me to start talking.

"It belongs-.. belonged to my mate." I told her, my eyes on the beautiful ring.

It was gold with a blue stone inside of it. The color of my siphons, like she had requested.

"I'm sorry." Feyre said quietly.

I gave her a sad smile. "I had it altered so it would fit around my finger. I have my own matching one in my room."

Feyre hesitated before speaking. "When did she... pass away?"

"Around 50 years ago." I answered. "51 years to be exact. Just a few weeks before Rhys went Under the Mountain."

"How long were you two together for?" she asked.

I twisted the ring around my finger, smiling to myself. "For a long time. Close to a century." I thought I might go crazy at some point after losing her while having been together for such a long time. But I didn't eventually.

The first few years were super hard. Even harder since I had lost my mate and brother within the span of a few weeks. I remember Cassian and Mor being helpless all the time, not knowing how to help me from going mad.

I blocked everyone out. I didn't talk or sleep for months.

Eventually I got the courage to go into our old room in the Town House, where we would stay most of the time. I found her ring there. The ring she had purposely left there the day she was killed. She had left it there for me along with a note, telling me that she knew she was going to die. That she wanted me to live a happy life.

Something changed after that day. I immediately took the ring to a jeweler who made it fit my finger so I was able to carry a piece of her with me at all time.

I was able to talk again. To sleep, even though the nightmares haunted me.

"What was she like?" Feyre questioned softly.

I had to keep myself from smiling again. "She was the best. She was kind, smart, hardworking, and always selfless." I told her, adding a sad smile at the end.

The rest of my family smiled at the memory of her.

"The selfless part was one of her best qualities, but also the one that..." I hesitated before speaking. But I wanted to tell Feyre. "That got her killed."

Everyone around the room stiffened, but I decided to continue. Maybe it was time I would say something about it. To tell her story.

"She volunteered to go on a mission for us. To check out the next plans of Hybern. Of Amarantha. She knew that there was going to be a possibility of dying from the moment she volunteered, but decided it was best to not tell us." I started. "She knew that if I knew about it, if Rhys knew about it, we would offer to go ourselfs. But still she decided to go. When the bond closed off I got so worried. At one point I stopped feeling her."

"We got a message from the Hewn City the next day that there had been a body found on their doorsteps. We immediately went to look." I swallowed hard. "I will never forget what I saw." I decided to spare Feyre the details.

I had to blink back the tears at remembering the memories of all those yours ago.

"I'm sorry that happened to you Azriel." Feyre spoke softly.

I sniffed. "Not only to me. She was important to all of us. To many people in this court." I said. "She would've loved you." I smiled at Feyre.

Feyre's face lit up at my words.

Rhys raised his glass. "To our beloved friend." Everyone raised their glasses.

The rest of the night was spent talking about her. Everyone shared their favorite stories about her.

It was late when I finally retreated to my room again. My mind kept wandering to her. I kept twisting the ring around my finger until the weight of sleep took over.

I could've sworn I saw a star shine extra brightly into my room.

[azrielstaylorsversion]

Arrows and lies

Azriel x reader

Warnings: mentions of wounds, sickness and vomiting

Y/N tries to hide her injuries from her mate, only to find out how stupid her decision will be.

Shit shit shit, you thought to yourself. Pain shot through your lower body as an arrow pierced through your thigh.

You were quick enough to winnow back to the Night Court, but not quick enough to avoid the arrow.

This couldn't be happening.

This was the fifth time in a row you would come home injured from a mission. You were scared that if it happened again Rhys wouldn't let you go on missions alone again. Or worse, not letting you go on any missions at all.

And the thing you were most scared off was your mate's reaction. His last five reactions hadn't been that great. The injuries hadn't been that bad.

You had winnowed back to the outskirts of Velaris. To your and Azriel's shared home where you knew he wouldn't be right now. The two of you had been staying at the River House more often, since Rhys required both your assistance more often lately.

You didn't need to worry about the bond, since you and Azriel had an agreement to block each other out during most missions. You would let each other know you were alive every three hours and that was it.

The door to your house opened with ease. You stumbled inside, biting back the tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

The arrow needed to be removed as quickly as possible.

You stumbled over to the bathroom. Once inside you grabbed some stuff to help you clean the wound.

You needed to calm your breathing before pulling out the arrow. It hadn't gone through entirely, but that sure as hell didn't lessen the pain.

The arrow clattered to the ground as you screamed out. You immediately applied pressure to the leaking wound.

At least the arrow got out in one piece.

You bit on your own tongue to keep yourself from crying out again. Your eyes fell on the nasty wound. Something looked different. There was some green looking stuff around the wound.

You decided to just ignore it and to clean the wound as soon as possible. Maybe you had just imagined it or maybe if you washed it away quickly... Otherwise you would have to tell Az and Rhys you had once again been hurt on a mission. Shot with a poisoned arrow.

No. You were way too stubborn for that. The wound would heal on itself within the next few hours due to your Fae healing.

You ignored your own thoughts and got to cleaning the wound.

It was around two hours later when you had fully cleaned the wound and could walk sort of normal again. It was already late at this point, which was a good thing since you wouldn't have to face Rhys right away. But you were actually supposed to be back in the morning. It was best if you just told Rhys and Az that you had been ambushed and ran. You hoped they didn't notice your injury.

The front door of the River House opened with ease. The whole house was dark and quiet.

You immediately walked up the stairs to your shared room with Azriel. You needed clean clothes and a shower, since you hadn't been able to do both earlier.

Your bedroom door opened quietly. The dark outline of your mate laying in bed was the first thing that caught your attention. He was soundly asleep.

His shadows immediately moved to your side.

"Don't wake him." you whispered to them. They almost seemed to agree with you, retreating back to the shadowy corners of the room.

You walked into your bathroom, quickly filling the bath and grabbing clean clothes. It wasn't easy to pull you pants off again. The wound the arrow had left burned like hell.

When you managed to slip your pants past your thighs the wound was revealed. It looked way worse than before. The entire outline was red and fresh blood stained the sides.

The feeling of hot water against it wasn't very nice. Tears threatened to fall from your eyes again. You swallowed them back, reminding yourself the pain would lessen by tomorrow.

After making quick work of cleaning yourself, you changed into one of Az's sweaters and sleeping shorts, which covered the ugly wound.

It would be gone by the morning, you reminded yourself again.

Making sure your bloodied clothes were out of sight and everything was clean, you made your way to the bed.

Azriel was still asleep, his breathing soft. You moved the covers, snuggling under them with a wince at moving your leg. You put your arms around Azriel's body, pulling him close.

He shifted slightly. "When did you get back?" he asked, his voice sleepy.

You moved your head so you could smile at him. "A few minutes ago." you whispered before pressing your face against his chest. The burning feeling in your leg got worse, but you pushed it away, ignoring it.

"Did everything go well?"

You tensed, but tried to brush it off. "Yes. But I had to leave earlier. Otherwise I would've been caught." you said a bit hesitant.

Azriel didn't say anything at first. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked again.

You moved your head from his chest, looking up at him. You hated yourself for lying to your mate, but there would be no trace of the wound by the morning. It would start healing soon.

"I'm completely fine." you whispered reassuringly.

He cupped your cheek, looking into your eyes, almost if searching your face for any signs of pain. When he only found a soft smile on your lips he relaxed. "I believe you. I'm just glad you're back so early." he said, kissing you.

After breaking the kiss he pulled you closer against him. Your thigh grazed against the matras. The pain was becoming more unbearable with every second.

Azriel didn't seem to notice your flicker of pain as he planted a kiss on top of your head, resting his chin on your head after.

You must've fallen asleep at some point, because when you woke up again it was long past midnight. It didn't take long before realizing what woke you up.

Sweat was dripping down your entire body. You felt too hot. No too cold. No, both.

Your head was pounding like crazy. Nausea filled your body. You quickly moved over the side of the bed, emptying your stomach on the ground next to the bed.

"Hey, are you okay?" Azriel had immediately woken up, putting his hands on your arms and inspecting your body.

You wanted to move away from him, but noticed you weren't able to move your injured leg.

You pulled up your shorts, revealing the wound which was supposed to be healed after all these hours. Instead, the wound was flaming red, your veins around the wound having turned black.

"Shit." you cursed yourself for being so stupid.

Azriel noticed the wound. His eyes widened. "What the hell happened?" he asked, concern lining his voice.

You tried to swallow down another wave of nausea. Sweat was starting to drip down your body faster, dark spots clouding your vision. "Arrow..." you managed to creak out. Trying to talk felt so exhausting.

"Shit. Why didn't you say anything? Did you pull it out yourself?" he questioned, but you didn't answer. Your mind couldn't really fully process his words.

The door to your room barged open, revealing a confused Rhys alongside Azriel's shadows. "What's going on?" he asked, his eyes falling on your fragile body.

"I think she got hit by a poisonous arrow. It has to be." his eyes locked with yours again. "Right? That's what happened right? Please tell me what happened."

You could only stare at him as dark spots slowly started blurring out his face. You couldn't respond to him. You didn't know how to.

"Can you hear me? Please say something. Anything at all." he asked with way too much concern in his voice. He put his hands on either side of your face.

You blinked at him. Your body started to feel like jelly. Like you couldn't move at all. Or think. Or hear.

Azriel's lips moved. At least you say them move when the black spots weren't covering his lips.

His lips. Your mates lips. The lips that had kissed you so many times. Your eyes were glued on them.

He was still talking. At least you think he was talking. The only sound you could hear was ringing.

People ran into the room as the world turned darker and darker until you couldn't see anything at all.

"Az?"

The world was spinning. Light slowly broke through your closed eyes, head still pounding like crazy, but you weren't burning anymore.

Someone was holding your hand. The warmth of a body pressed against yours.

You opened your eyes, wincing at the light that came into the room, which immediately disappeared.

Shadows covered the windows, flickering ever so slightly.

The warm body moved. "How are you feeling?" Azriel's voice sounded unsure.

You looked around the room for a few seconds. Then your eyes fell on your mate. It took a moment to remember what had happened earlier.

"I am so, so sorry Azriel." you blurted out.

He placed his hand on your cheek, forcing you to look at him. "I'm just glad you're okay."

"You're not even mad?" you questioned quietly. "I can explain everything, I-" he cut you off by kissing you.

"Again, I'm just glad you're okay. And yes, I was very angry. I still am." he told you. "But now is not the time to be mad at you."

You looked away, feeling embarrassed by your own stupidity.

"Rhys had to look into your mind. The poison was slowly reaching your head. He saw what happened and how you hid it from us." Azriel told you softly. "I think he is the most mad out of the two of us. But he too is happy that you're alive."

You nodded, not sure what to say. You had fucked up really bad.

"Can you please look at me? There is absolutely no need to feel embarrassed." he said. You slowly turned your eyes to his beautiful face "I'm sorry you felt like you needed to hide your injuries from me."

You just responded with a nod.

Azriel pulled you closer, wrapping a wing protectively around your body. "You're on bedrest for the rest of the day until the poison is fully out of your system. Madja told me that you might suffer from some hallucinations today, but that it should be over by tonight." he said, kissing the top of your head after finishing his sentence.

You finally relaxed in his arms. "I understand if you have to go. I know you're probably busy, so please don't be held up by me."

A small chuckle rumbled through Azriel's body. "If you even think I'm leaving your side for one second, you're wrong." he claimed. "Work can wait. All I care about is you. There is notbing more important than you." he told you, drawing soft circles on your back.

You smiled, hiding your face into his chest. "I love you." you told him. He replied by placing another kiss on top of your head. He forced you to look upward so he could kiss your forehead, then your temples, then your cheeks and finally your mouth.

A giggle left your lips at that. You couldn't wish for a better mate.

[azrielstaylorsversion]

I love your writing, could you write an Azriel and Reader story where she has long nails, and he’s obsessed with them? All fluff, but he likes when she plays with his hair or scratches his head, and everyone teases him? Thank you, love youuu

Scratches

Azriel x reader

Based on this old request :)

Having the entire family together in one room was rare nowadays. Everyone was seated around the fire place, empty bottles of wine and snacks scattered around the room.

It was now several hours later since dinner. Some of your family members had retreated back to their rooms. The only ones to stay behind were Cassian, Nesta and Mor. Along with you and a clearly drunk Azriel, who was currently leaning his head against your chest, the rest of his body resting half on top of yours.

The two of you had settled on one of the couches in the River House. Azriel had decided to shift his body around one hour ago, finding it more comfortable to lay on top of you than sitting down. He didn't even care about his family seeing him snuggle up to you, even though they were too focused on their own conversations to even notice.

You had smiled when he relaxed his entire body against yours. He had grabbed your hand after a few minutes, placing it on his back. You knew what he wanted from you, he didn't even have to ask.

It had actually become a habit over the years. He had always loved your long nails, even before being mated. It didn't matter if he was the one holding you or the other way around, he always wanted you to scratch his head, trace patterns on his back or play with his hair.

It calmed him down. Cleared his thoughts, he had once told you.

You were still listening to Mor and Cassian's conversation while continuing to play with your mates hair when Nesta caught your attention, smiling at the sight of the two of you. Your family never really got to see this side of Azriel.

Your eyes turned back to Azriel, his eyes now closed and his breathing soft and even.

"Look how cute." Mor beamed. You just continued to play with his hair while rolling your eyes.

"Can you just be quiet about it. It's a good thing he's asleep." you told her softly.

Cassian stared at the two of you. "Are you... scratching his head?" he questioned confused.

You sighed, sending Nesta a quick look that told her help. You and Nesta were the only sober ones in the family. Most of the time along with Az, but he decided to just go for it tonight.

"Yes I'm scratching his head, Cassian. Are you jealous?" you asked his, cocking your head.

Cassian's eyes widened, but after a few seconds he started laughing, Mor following. "So that's where the long nails are for! I always wondered why you kept them at this length." he said between the laughter.

They were so annoying when drunk. Mostly Cassian.

"I keep them long because I like the way it looks. And it has its perks." you told him with a sigh. There was no way in explaining yourself. They would most likely forget about this by tomorrow.

"Cute little shadowsinger." Mor said with a giggle.

Azriel huffed against your chest, shifting slightly. He was clearly awake.

"Sorry for disturbing your sleep." you whispered against his head, your hand never leaving his head.

"Never your fault." he spoke so silently you almost didn't hear him. He shifted his body so he could sit.

"Thank you for disturbing my sleep, dickheads." he said in the direction of Mor and Cassian who had finally stopped giggling. "It's not my fault your hair is too dirty to even touch." Azriel shot at Cassian, who looked hurt by his words.

He looked between Azriel and Nesta. "That's not the reason you don't scratch my head. Right?" he asked Nesta unsurely.

Nesta only rolled her eyes, tugging at his sleeve. "Let's go to bed before you hurt your own feelings even more." she gave you an apologetic smile before disappearing out of the room with Cassian, who was still whining to her about his hair being dirty.

Mor trailed after them soon after, giving the two of you a wave. "Have fun scratching each other." she quickly said over her shoulder.

After they all disappeared you fell back against the couch with a sigh. "If they remember this tomorrow they will never let us live this down."

Azriel laughed softly. "Don't worry, they will most likely forget this happened." he said as he stood from the couch. He almost lost his balance as he got to his feet.

You quickly stood, helping him stay steady. "I'm not even sure you will remember this tomorrow." you told him with a snort.

Azriel turned his head to you. He groaned, placing his hands over his face. "I can't even see you clearly. I hate it when I can't see you clearly." he said. "I want to kiss you, but I can't really see your lips."

You laughed, wrapping an arm around his waist. "Let's get you to bed Az."

He leaned into your touch, attempting to move his head closer to your face. "Promise to scratch my back?"

You had to bite back a laugh. "Of course Az."

You didn't even have to scratch his back once you got to your bedroom, since he fell asleep the moment his body touched the mattress.