azureelizabethdesign - Tumblr blog

[azureelizabethdesign]

So grateful for you Matthew. 💓 https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp1zf2QO-Ja/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[azureelizabethdesign]

Matthew it's been just over a month since you asked me to see you exclusively & almost two months since we 1st met. Funny that I didn't know you back in Highschool, but I know we definitely crossed paths...you have been way too familiar since we started talking. "Dating is supposed to be fun & playful" you said when we started talking...that really caught my attention. Up until I met you my laughter, humor, my occasional fire, any smiles & excitement over happy things, seemed to be too much of a threat for most men. In fact historically it could get me punished...so I hid it except with my most trusted friend's. I've spent years being told both verbally & very passive aggressively, that I had to tone it down to make others comfortable or I'd pay one way or another. It's impossible to ignore someone's negative reaction to take you down a notch, every time you're having a blissful moment. It's a form of behavior modification I'm sad to admit I allowed, because I saw no other way sometimes. I'd made a promise to myself over a year ago that I wasn't doing this anymore. I don't care who it is. I have a lot of sunshine I've stuffed deep inside myself because so many people just want to be miserable & everyone else around them should be also. Thank goodness that you have been someone I can be myself with 100%. I know this is a new adventure for us & I'm not going to be oblivious to the fact we have a lot to get to know about each other...but I want you to know I really appreciate that you don't rain on my sunshine. Happy one month! 🌞 https://www.instagram.com/p/CpTwNpANCJz/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[azureelizabethdesign]

If you knew my whole story you might wonder why I'm still here, or why I'm not curled up in a ball in a psych ward... In the very least you'd probably wonder why I'm not cynical, angry, bitter & cross all the time.  I suppose it's because I don't believe what has happened to me...what has been done to me at the hands of others, necessarily defines me. Yes, It influences me. Yes, I can be triggered at times even by the most mundane things & even basic words. My brain can find itself trapped in a dark memory, suddenly without warning & uncontrollable tears often well up in my eyes at the worst, most unexpected times.  Here's the thing though. I don't want to be anything like my toxic abusers & I also don't want to be like the cynical bitter people who hide in their houses turning into people haters because they've been abused by others. That's not what I came here for. I want to expand not shrink. I want to laugh a lot, to love & create. I want to look for & savor all the beauty that life abundantly offers. I want to hope & believe in reciprocated admiration & love...even though it requires me to be real, honest & raw. I understand how to manifest & I know that whatever I want to experience, I truly must embody. I must live my life in alignment to all that I want...everything that I want.  How would I attract friendship if I'm not a friend. How would I attract safe people to confide in if I decide I'm not interested in hearing what another is experiencing.  Everything I want to experience I really must be within myself. This is the challenge I face every single day. This is what ultimately drives me & gives me hope. I see in my mind all the amazing things I want to create for my life & I don't think about all the reasons I don't feel worthy or the people who don't want my happiness, anymore.  I'm ultimately the one I've been waiting for. My story is still important but only because it helps others know that they don't have to let the past define their future either.  That is why I share, but don't believe that I suffer because of it. The future is a blank canvas before me where I lay down layers every day to create my own life's masterpiece. ✨️ https://www.instagram.com/p/CpAl43nuDfH/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[azureelizabethdesign]

If you knew my whole story you might wonder why I'm still here, or why I'm not curled up in a ball in a psych ward... In the very least you'd probably wonder why I'm not cynical, angry, bitter & cross all the time.  I suppose it's because I don't believe what has happened to me...what has been done to me at the hands of others, necessarily defines me. Yes, It influences me. Yes, I can be triggered at times even by the most mundane things & even basic words. My brain can find itself trapped in a dark memory, suddenly without warning & uncontrollable tears often well up in my eyes at the worst, most unexpected times.  Here's the thing though. I don't want to be anything like my toxic abusers & I also don't want to be like the cynical bitter people who hide in their houses turning into people haters because they've been abused by others. That's not what I came here for. I want to expand not shrink. I want to laugh a lot, to love & create. I want to look for & savor all the beauty that life abundantly offers. I want to hope & believe in reciprocated admiration & love...even though it requires me to be real, honest & raw. I understand how to manifest & I know that whatever I want to experience, I truly must embody. I must live my life in alignment to all that I want...everything that I want.  How would I attract friendship if I'm not a friend. How would I attract safe people to confide in if I decide I'm not interested in hearing what another is experiencing.  Everything I want to experience I really must be within myself. This is the challenge I face every single day. This is what ultimately drives me & gives me hope. I see in my mind all the amazing things I want to create for my life & I don't think about all the reasons I don't feel worthy or the people who don't want my happiness, anymore.  I'm ultimately the one I've been waiting for. My story is still important but only because it helps others know that they don't have to let the past define their future either.  That is why I share, but don't believe that I suffer because of it. The future is a blank canvas before me where I lay down layers every day to create my own life's masterpiece. ✨️  https://www.instagram.com/p/CpAli36uAOF/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[azureelizabethdesign]

Apparently I was kissing the wrong Matt's in highschool...💓 https://www.instagram.com/p/CoqFrRcSqoi/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[azureelizabethdesign]

I feel really spoiled right off the bat this Valentine's Day. My sweet daughter totally surprised me this week & sent me a Valentine's Day gift with my favorite chocolate & the beautiful chocolate covered cherries that are her specialty & a hot cocoa bomb in the shape of a heart. I'm overwhelmed by how sweet she is to me & our amazing relationship that is still so strong even though she is far away. She really is there for me when I need support & I can talk to her about everything which has been so critical as I've been trying to heal from the past & move forward to a brighter future. I love you Autumn! Thank you so much for the amazing gift! Happy Valentine's Day darling! 💕 https://www.instagram.com/p/CopahDjOW7q/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[azureelizabethdesign]

Last week was a pretty busy week for me. Not only did I attend Vegas Market with my dear friend Designer Teri Thomas of Teri Thomas Interior Design the first of the week, but I made a few stops the next few days on the way back to Salt Lake City. A few of those visits were more personal... a meeting with two new important people & a good friend who I've known via social media, but never had the privilege to meet on person. Then a long stop in Panguitch to visit my client Lex & the Azevedo Ranch. It was really lovely. Even though I was there for business, we had a great time catching up the evening I arrived over his amazing cooking. I really am grateful to have such good relationships with my client's. Both of us had a crazy year last year & he'd put his project on hold after I did his custom window coverings install last March. It was still as beautiful as when I did it. The draperies really play nicely on the materials & colors of the room. Now we are back on track with the project & finally ordering the fabrics we'd selected (although we had to re-select a few) to re-upholster his beautiful furniture he had brought from his home in Salt Lake to go in the Stuido. #aeinteriordesign #AEDesign #interiordesign #interiordesigner #azureelizabethdesign #utahdesigner #utahdesign #windowcoverings #windowtreatments #customcurtains #customdesign #draperies #azevedoranch #designingwomen https://www.instagram.com/p/CoXni2BOwGO/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[azureelizabethdesign]

I've always loved Vegas Market but going with my friend & Interior Designer Teri Thomas made this Market a really amazing experience. We had so much fun & I loved every minute of it! I hope we can do it again in the future. Love you lady! ❤️ https://www.instagram.com/p/CoIrsrEpaVL/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[azureelizabethdesign]

Tonight I took Shaun & Hannah to dinner to celebrate Shaun's belated Birthday since he was out of town for his big 25. We had an amazing time & talked for hours. I love these two & how amazing they are & also how very good they are for each other & to each other. Gosh my heart is just so full right now. Spending time with them was just what my soul needed. ❤️ https://www.instagram.com/p/CnL2YRIup8B/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[azureelizabethdesign]

Happy Birthday Shaun! I can't believe it's been 25 years since you made me a mom. I'm so grateful for you & the experiences I've been blessed with by being your mother. I know you don't like the spotlight but I'm going to shine it on you today...so please forgive me. I've said it before...Shaun was a miracle baby. I was told I might never be able to carry a pregnancy to full term after a devastating loss that required emergency surgery. I prayed really hard about my desire to be a mother & did a ton of research about my condition. I was then led to a book with a huge clue hidden within it & created a whole new diet (I called it my fertility diet) & shocked my OB & surgeon by getting pregnant. It was on Mother's Day May 14th in 1997 I found out that I was pregnant with Shaun. It wasn't easy & I spent most of the pregnancy on bed rest. He arrived 16 days before his due date & was almost was a New Years baby... I named him Shaun Patrick Gee. The Patrick was after his Father's first name. Shaun is an anglicized spelling of the Irish name Seán. The Gee family line came from England. Every year when I wish my son Happy Birthday certain family members insist on spelling his name Sean when they wish him Happy Birthday. I don't know of they are just lazy or passive aggressively trying to hint that they think I spelled his name wrong. This really infuriates me & I'm not even the Capricorn of the family. If you've done this don't think I haven't noticed... Because of his father's English roots I assure you the spelling as S-H-A-U-N was completely intentional. He got the English from his dad's side, Swedish from mine & is a mix of other Germanic roots. Shaun was always very protective of his sister & I growing up. He would check & change my car's oil, go into stores with me because of the men that were always hitting on me. Several years ago when I had shoulder surgery he'd get up in the middle of the night to give me my medication... Shaun, I love watching you do the things you enjoy & treating Hannah with love & respect. As a mother seeing you happy is one of my greatest joys. Thank you so much for all that you are! I love you son. https://www.instagram.com/p/Cm7eJW2JRqy/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[azureelizabethdesign]

Happy New Year everyone! I hope your last few hours of 2022 were amazing & that 2023 is even better! I have a lot I could say...so many thoughts & emotions I've had to sort through especially today... I'm just grateful for good friends & people in my life & that I got to spend today with people I love & care about. I feel extremelyblessed. The future seems uncertain & so it feels silly in a way to have to many goals, expectations & ambitions. So I'm just going to savor the feeling of peace I'm feeling right now & I pray i can take more of this into the new year. https://www.instagram.com/p/Cm3RJfXMdsS/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[azureelizabethdesign]

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays everyone! I hope you're all having a very lovely day today! I've been feeling extremely grateful this Christmas season, to have been given the gift of spending this Holiday with my daughter Autumn & her boyfriend Brady. It has been a hell of a year & I can't think of a better way of ending it than being with loved ones in beautiful New England for Christmas. I've really missed my daughter simce she left over a year ago...but seeing where she lives now, the work she does & meeting her new friends & Brady's family has reassured me that she's really in an amazing place doing amazing things. I'm super grateful she brought me out here & for our amazing relationship that doesn't change no matter the distance. My heart is full & happy! May you all feel blessed this Holiday season. 🎄 https://www.instagram.com/p/CmmhrXeps0k/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[azureelizabethdesign]

I've been thinking a lot about this past year & my values today, as I've been resting from traveling all day yesterday & feeling into the energy of the Winter Solstice. I've thought a lot about who I am & why I am the way I am. I do identify with my career & that path more strongly than most people. There are reasons for this...but I do apply my designing woman nature in every aspect of my life... As an Interior Designer & artist my focus is on creating. Every aspect of what I do requires small intentional conscious actions to produce an outcome. The definition of create, is to bring something into existence. For people who aren't focused on making things or creating environments for themselves or others...who are only trying to create a certain outcome in their life...they will often use the term manifesting rather than creating. As a very creative person who cares a lot about my spirituality, I feel that I'm often jumping between the internal world where I'm manifesting & the physical world where I'm creating. The rules for either process are the same for me really...I'm just using my energy differently. Either internally or externally. To manifest something, I'm working with what is within me internally & spirituality to make something happen in my life. It's mostly mental but it requires me to act & choose specific things at critical times in my life...with is a form of action. When creating things or environments, I'm working with physical tools & mediums to make something that will be a physical thing in my life or the life of another person & I'm using physical activity to do so. It's both mental & physical. Recently something very painful happened, that triggered a series of downloads for me. I've realized that a requirement for both manifesting & creating to work, is to be in complete alignment so that it's possible. Alignment creates the environment of possibilities. I Googled Alignment & living in alignment today & added some screenshots of what I found here. It makes sense that I can't create a beautiful blue & gold painting for a client using colored pencils, in only the colors red & orange... Continued in the comments... https://www.instagram.com/p/CmdNngitoSk/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[azureelizabethdesign]

This Holiday season I've been in a very different space...memories from the past are coming forward & I'm in a very introspective place. I've also realized something about myself I wasn't aware of. It is that I always look for the magic. I remember when I was very small & laying under the Christmas tree as a child, looking up into the lights. It felt like the most magical place to me & I would pretend that I was very a small being living within its colorful ambiance. My mother's garden & nature were other places where I could find a similar magic...I'd would always recall these moments when I couldn't find peace or happiness. I used my imagination to escape. I also often imagined escaping, especially when the world around me was harsh & dense. I think my ability to see the magic in little things has fueled my creativity...it's most likely why I chose a career where I could create magic for others. As an adult I still see magic everywhere...even if it is lost on those around me. I see it in other's as well & I think that my ability to see & create magic, also creates blind spots for me. It's more than likely why I see the best of people & ignore their worst traits...until I no longer can ignore them anymore. I'm not sure why this is my observation of the moment, but I'm looking through the past & seeing magic alongside sadness. When I look at the past year...I can definitely see magic around me, touching my life...despite experiencing a very brutal year. The magic I've experienced this year is less of my own creation than any other year prior. It has been from the magic of people touching my life & lifting me out of the darkest of places. I know many good people. People with absolutely nothing to gain by helping me, have given me sure footing on the unknown path I have been walking in 2022. When the season started I wanted to block it out, but I've found so much peace & comfort as I've allowed it's magic & the love of the people in my life unfold. I'm truly blessed this Christmas season, even though it is nothing like the past. It's not perfection that creates the magic...it is created by being in a space of appreciation for all that I'm experiencing. https://www.instagram.com/p/CmNkKt0M3mJ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[azureelizabethdesign]

Had an early Christmas dinner tonight with these two. It was so wonderful to sit down, chat & catch up for a while. Love you Shaun & Hannah. https://www.instagram.com/p/CmAzZJcN6ZO/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[azureelizabethdesign]

I've been wanting to post this kitchen from a 2020 project, for a while...but thought it might be nice to wait & post it during the Holidays since it highlights a beautiful Holiday feast. This kitchen was created for my friend Erika. This kitchen design project was entirely different than my usual kitchen design projects. Most of the time when I'm working on kitchen designs, I'm collaborating with my client's contractors kitchen builder of choice...or helping my friend Dave with a kitchen he's designing. This project was different because Erika is my friend & she knew a lot of what she already wanted. It was much more collaborative than many of my other projects & that's what makes it so much more meaningful. Erika uses her kitchen more than anyone I know (with the exception of my sister Heather, who also does all the things). In fact when I came to measure the original kitchen she was elbow deep in canning fruit. It was obvious she needed more functional storage space. I suggested a cabinet with a garage to sit on the counter for all her countertop appliances she used everyday. I love how it turned out. We of course wanted to go as tall as we could with the upper cabinets & while she wanted to keep the original footprint of the cabinets...she needed more say in what cabinets had drawers or shelves. For me the biggest challenge was trying to find someone who could build her what she wanted for a decent price, so I would know she was in good hands. I had originally tried to design it with stock cabinets...but it wasn't a great direction because we couldn't utilize the space as well with pre made sizes. I finally found someone I felt was right. I love the kitchen colors & material choices. I'm glad she didn't want white cabinets. The direction we went with the colors is perfect for the function of the space. She was talking about doing teaching videos & having a nice kitchen to do those in. She is so good at her craft & I really wanted a space that would function well for her...especially if she was bringing so many eyes into her kitchen to learn. #azureelizabethdesign #design #interiordesign #aeinteriordesign #AEDesign #kitchendesign https://www.instagram.com/p/Cl0IVuxMwbi/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[azureelizabethdesign]

Have you ever had something you were trying to accomplish & it felt like the devil himself was trying to stop you? I hope you haven't experienced this. Unfortunately that is what it felt like for me getting my client's art commission completed. Thank goodness they were understanding & patient while my life fell apart there for a minute. Thus far I've been pretty resilient & I do my best to overcome the obstacles put in front of me. Sometimes creating art feels like a mini version of creating & problem solving we have to do on a bigger scale in our lives. Sometimes everything flows & you get the colors & textures just right...then other times you misjudge things & you have to fix your mistakes so that you can still have a beautiful result in the end. Such is life... #AEDesign #aeinteriordesign #aprilelizabethdesign #interiordesign #azureelizabethdesign #art #customdesign #mixedmediaart #design #artist #designingwoman https://www.instagram.com/p/ClDjAvFu_6-/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=