b-bisexual

[b-bisexual]

Bisexuality

second pride month piece !

|Pansexuality|Bisexuality|Aromantic|Asexuality|Homosexuality|

[b-bisexual]

I hope he/him bi women and she/her bi men are having a good day today I know there isn't a lot of positivity for y'all but I think you're all so very stunning and doing an amazing job

[b-bisexual]

At Pride Cymru (Wales), Aug 2019 (source)

[b-bisexual]

Fact: A lot of people are confused about what bisexuality is or what it means to be bi. To clarify: “bi” is short for the word “bike” which in itself is actually short for “bichael”. We hope this clears things up.

[b-bisexual]

Out of all the issues I have concering stag/tomcat/doe, this is what I will say. Especially in regards to the recent motion to make them “for all bi people”.

Loving women as a woman is inherently antithetical to (western) womanhood, where womanhood revolves around and is taught as inherently dependent on men. Straight womanhood is the performance of all aspects of your life to be palatable to men, and all your actions regarding womanhood (eg. relationship dynamics, gender roles, presentation (in terms of how you dress, how you talk, how you move), and your own perceived self-worth in relation to the “ideal desireable” womanhood that you should display) are taught as though it must be for the sake of men, and must be approved by men for you to be a “real woman”.

In this sense, loving women as a woman, breaks this taught connection that “good womanhood” = “mens approval”, and can complicate the relationship with womanhood because suddenly all these dynamics that have been taught as an inherent part of womanhood just aren’t there, especially in the case of lesbians and bi women who are fully divorced from men.

I don’t like putting too much stock in an inherent divide between the experiences of all lesbians and all bi women, because that’s not how it works. But, I do think that some bi women, especially bi women who spend a lot of time around straight men but also men in general, can have a different kind of conflict in relation to womanhood that lesbians may not experience, because of our desire for authentic reciprocation from men. However, our love for women still confounds the “ideal desirable” version of womanhood that men look for, so we’re left struggling between the thought that has been drilled into us forever that “a good woman = men approving” and our desire to love women (which is a struggle that lesbians also face, however some bi women may authentically want that reciprocated approval from men which just creates a different nuance on the issue).

The problem is that men (and nbs with no connection to womanhood) will never experience this particular issue because manhood and what it means (in a western context) to be a “good man” in society doesn’t revolve around the approval and sole dedication to women, in the sense that your worth as a human and a man isn’t stripped from you if a woman disapproves of you (No, in that case she’s a bitch, or a whore, or a slut, and the man isn’t at fault, as far as society is concerned), which is why it doesn’t work to take terms that were made in the context of a bi women’s relation to womanhood and declare that anyone regardless of gender can use them, even people who don’t have a connection to womanhood.

And it’s extremely hypocritical and horrible to me, to make a big deal out of “connecting the community” and “making terms for all bi people regardless of gender” yet not acknowledging and caring, that stag/tomcat/doe IS inherently exclusionary of bi women of color. They have been saying this. It’s not a rumored thing that’s been mentioned in passing. It’s an explicit thing that a lot of anti black racism and anti black propaganda revolve around comparing poc (especially woc) to animals. It’s not cute, it’s disrespectful to the women who built this community and it’s so incredibly flippant and imo inexcusable to say “well they don’t have to identify with them!” I thought the point was to make bi terms accessible to all bi people?

Seriously, regardless of your opinion on the usage of butch and femme (which the need for an alternative for bi women is where these terms came from in the first place), there are better alternatives. Damme and Tomme are ones that come to mind but there are many proposed alternatives. There are experiences and a need for a name to those experiences, that only bi women face. A fundamental misunderstanding of what the terms mean and why they were created, doesn’t mean that they suddenly apply to everyone. I do think that bi men and nbs who aren’t connected to womanhood deserve their own terms, but taking the culture that bi women (and applicable nbs) have made for themselves in an attempt to name their very unique experiences with womanhood (especially when, at the current moment, the most popular terms are inaccessible to bi woc) isn’t the way to go.

[b-bisexual]

more girls love girls club banners!

credit/rb if used? click for better quality!

find the other sets under #lgbt club!

[b-bisexual]

@dirtyallodyke I don’t want to come across as mean, and I absolutely agree with what you said. But the fact of the matter is that this is derailing the conversation about biphobia and bi issues. This is a lovely sentiment, but you should make your own post. This post isn’t about lesbians or lesbian issues, even if the tones are similar. 

The idea that sexual orientation should be decided based on what “feels right” is a… problematic one.

“The word bisexual makes me cringe at times, but saying I’m heterosexual or a lesbian feels inaccurate - regardless of who I am in a relationship with. So, cringing all the while, I use the label. Because of my relationship to the term feminist, I have learned that cringing is often a sign of unfinished political business: the label bi sounds bad because, at least in some ways, bisexuals are an unliberated, invisible, and disparaged social group.” — Look both ways : bisexual politics, Jennifer Baumgardner, 2007

By encouraging this idea that a word can “just not sound right” or “makes me cringe”, we encourage internalised biphobia, internalised homophobia, and other internalised prejudices. 

Making new identity labels can be an elaborate system of avoiding using words based on internalised prejudices. Are people basing their sense of self on what makes them unique rather than what unifies them with a marginalised group they hold prejudices towards? Those prejudices are going unexamined. 

I’ve found that people who avoid the word bisexual generally know nothing about it. They’ve never read a book on bisexuality, they don’t know anything about the history, about bisexual political activists, about existing organisations or conferences, about whether in reality bisexuals date nonbinary people or not (we do). People don’t reject the word based on educated opinion, although there are people online who do their best to create false definitions to discourage people from using it, which I suppose is in their best interest if they want to avoid analysing their own prejudices. 

Back in the day, many thousands of years ago, when I was young, we had to work through our prejudices to be comfortable with who we were. I hated the word bisexual. I didn’t want to call myself that, I didn’t like how it sounded coming out of my mouth. But in the end I realised that was purely because my culture saw bisexuals as a joke, as cheaters, as nonexistent. I worked through that. But if I was coming out now, someone online would tell me that work was unnecessary and I should just pick a word which sounds nice to me.

[b-bisexual]

[b-bisexual]

bi emojiiiis

[b-bisexual]

I have to make sure I share this absolutely chaotic bisexual picture of me in as many places as possible

[b-bisexual]

*blows a kiss* for bi men

[b-bisexual]

proud 💗💙💜

[b-bisexual]

Bi guys are awesome 💖💜💙

[b-bisexual]

#BWithTheT at London Pride, June 2019 

(source)  (bi groups in the UK & Ireland) (trans groups)

[b-bisexual]

[b-bisexual]

Cute women: *exist*

My bi ass: 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

Cute nonbinary people: *exist*

My bi ass: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Cute men: *exist*

My bi ass: 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

[b-bisexual]

What is bisexuality? - A handy graphic including definitions used by major bisexual organizations, activists and popular definitions used in bisexual communities! 

- Mod Soraya