babypetri

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23 Layer Chocolate Cake (via Instagram)

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I’ve been trying this out and it’s been quite helpful 🤗

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My medieval servant boy has gone missing. I’ll just use Google to see if I can find him.

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You know those posts about one of Bruce’s kids getting kidnapped and him having no idea which kid they have based on the vague descriptions he’s given? Well now I can’t only imagine Bruce getting the dreaded call and immediately pulling out a guess who board filled entirely with his kids. Like

kidnapper: we have one of your children

Bruce: I have so many of those you need to be more specific

kidnapper: the loud and annoying one

Bruce, flipping down Cass and Duke: that does not help as much as you think it does

kidnapper: well he has black hair?

Bruce, flips down Steph: keep going

kidnapper: uhhhh? He’s short?

Bruce, flips down Dick and Jason leaving Tim and Damian: more specific

kidnapper: he’s been condescending and judgmental since we got him

Bruce: yeah they both tend to do that

kidnapper: he keeps throwing around words I don’t understand

Bruce, realizing that Damian and Tim are significantly more similar than he thought: uhh more specific?

kidnapper: more?? look just wore us the mon— WHERE’D HE HIDE A KATANA???

Bruce: ah you have Damian

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Over the years, the batfam has slowly noticed, why exactly Dick's mom had nicknamed him robin. Ofcourse he was born on the first day of spring and is always flitting about, but there's more...robin-like traits that have long since cemented his original robin status

Bruce, rushing to check up on his newly adopted child, Dick, who just walked into a glass door with eyes wide open: Chum? Why did you just walk into glass?

Dick: What glass?

Bruce: I-

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Jason, watching teen, newly discowing!Dick pack up his stuff to move out: Why do you have that hoard?

Dick, shoving his collection of shiny objects, including but not limited to, pins, buttons, spoons, forks, medals and trophies, into a bag: What hoard?

Jason:

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Tim, traumatized after having seen Dick dance in front of Barbara at a ball: Why would you willingly do that? Was that a mating dance?

Dick: A what? I'm not a bird, Tim

Tim: ok

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Damian, looking disgruntled as Dick spoonfeeds him some porridge: Why must you insist on this, Richard? I am 10, not 4

Dick: But you work so hard for patrol and school everyday!

Documentary playing in the background: And the Mama Bird will feed it's chick until it is big enough to hunt on it own....

Damian: ...

Damian: Tt. Fine, you may.

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Duke, on a rare night patrol, batting Batman!Dick away after the fifth time he tried to cover him with his cape: Dude quit it

Dick: But you're vulnerable at night because of your suit!

Duke, suddenly remembering how birds will try to cover their chicks with their wings to keep them safe: I owe tim so many churros

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And also, ofcourse, the many, many times Bruce has seen them all huddling together around Dick like they actually are robin chicks huddling around a robin mama

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Dick: wait- does this mean that the og JL is just one big family at this point?

Bruce: ... what?

Dick: I mean- I married Wally, who's now leaglly Barry's and Hal's, which makes them your in-law. Jason married Roy, which makes Oliver your in-law, and the rest of you are dating a Super, I feel like that does make the JL a family business

Bruce: ...

Bruce: nO-

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Superman desperately scanning the street during a fight to find the most morally acceptable car to throw at his opponent, knowing that not everybody has insurance, and loss of transportation can ruin a life -

A wave of incredible relief washes over him as he spots the hard geometric lines and silver paintless sheen of a Cybertruck.

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here is a conversation i had with my father:

me: dad try the leftovers in the fridge they’re so good it’s stuffed heart

dad: AHHHHHH WHAT

dad: BRIDGETTE I ALMOST ATE THAT

me: good eat it it’s really good

dad: THAT IS ONE STEP BELOW CANNIBALISM

me: IT IS NOT THERE ARE NOT STEPS IT IS BINARY

me: AND THAT IS A PIG’S HEART AND YOU ARE LITERALLY EATING SAUSAGE KOLACHE

dad: the heart is what the pig used in order to love

dad: and there are steps

dad: it is not binary

me: how many steps

dad: seven

me: whatever more food for me

and then this morning him and the girls handed me this:

he is a 50 year old attorney this is how he spent his morning was making this

note he put himself in the first safe zone

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POV: First breakfast after Wally stays over

Damian: *eyes Wally with clear disdain because how dare that simpleton fornicate with his brother*

Tim: *too tired to care*

Jason: *smirks every time Dick fails to cover his hickeys with Wally’s his shirt*

Wally & Dick: *blush cherry red whenever someone makes eye contact*

Bruce: *walks into the kitchen looking like a zombie*

Bruce: *sees Wally and freezes before looking at Alfred confused*

Bruce: Alfred… When did I adopt another one?

Alfred: Well, Master Bruce-

Bruce: *tears gather in his eyes*

Bruce: And why doesn’t he have black hair…

Alfred: *sighs*

Alfred: Master Bruce, please go back to bed.

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Astronaut readjusts to life back on Earth

> Don’t give him a baby for a while.

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its just me and the album i decide to have on repeat this week