bacardistyles

[bacardistyles]

[bacardistyles]

Hummingbirds

wherever we’re together,

i forget that there is

an entire world with

people, and societies,

and sadness, and pain.

all i know is You.

the way Your lips feel

against mine.

the way my fingers

press into Your skin,

and how i tell You

that i love you,

sometimes before You

say those three words to me.

it’s weird, knowing someone

cares so much about You.

i can see the affection in

Your eyes.

the late nights we spend together,

and the early mornings with either

You or me sneaking out.

but my favorite are the times

that we lay in Your bed,

or outside, and listen to

the rest of the world.

mainly, i listen for the beat of

our hearts.

two hummingbirds.

sometimes they’re frantic

for each other,

but other times they’re calm.

mine is calmer around You.

i couldn’t ever wish for a

better human

to share this world with.

and after the things

i’ve been through,

as well as the things You have,

i’m sure the feeling is mutual.

i’m sure you wouldn’t

wish to share the world with

anyone but me.

- b.v.

[bacardistyles]

Rejection

You once were my world

but now You are not.

i remember the day

You said those three words.

it was my birthday,

and i just stared at You.

we had been talking for about a month

and a half.

honestly, i thought it would be me.

after all, You were the one i had been

falling for.

when You told me,

i had just seen an idol of mine.

it was late, and You stood there,

and i had just turned sixteen.

that same night You talked me

into doing things.

i regret it all now,

and still hate myself for it.

what You wanted me to do

forced me to feel horrible about myself.

even now, i can’t look at myself without

those thoughts.

You ruined the perception i had of myself.

the girl who i had once loved,

but she’s gone.

she’s gone because You took her.

after all, You never really loved me.

You took advantage of me

because You were older than me.

not to mention the other girl You

left me for.

so, it’s been nearly two years,

and i still despise myself because of You.

i hate what You did to me.

my self-confidence is shit.

my feelings are shit.

i feel like a piece of shit.

all because of You.

the boy i thought i once knew.

if only it had never been You.

looking back on it, i don’t even know why i

trusted You.

then again, i was searching for affection.

little did i know

You’d be the reason i’m afraid of rejection.

- b.v.

[bacardistyles]

Homosexual

i don’t think i ever understood you completely.

your heart and brain and eyes

they were the same as mine.

but something inside you was different

maybe not different, just special

you were more flamboyant,

and curious than i.

Somehow, you were more enthusiastic than me

you were my friend, and i loved you,

but i could tell that you were scared

of what your parents would think.

of your siblings, and your friends

who were not me.

you told me on that summer night.

we were having fun, and sipping wine

but then you got real.

i always knew deep down;

no one could be as courageous as you.

and every time i brought up some new guy

you kind of shrugged like he was just okay

when clearly ethan had the prettiest eyes,

and sharpest jaw line.

but then that night the words tumbled out,

“i’m a homosexual.”

i didn’t care then, and i don’t care now.

the only thing is, a part of me still wonders

at night if that was why you ran away.

because your parents want nothing to do with me,

and neither do your siblings.

i know you are still out there somewhere,

but i also know you told them,

and they didn’t take it well.

you wouldn’t have run away otherwise.

although, you were my best friend

a year later and i’m still lost without you.

i never realized i only had friends because of you.

like i said before,

you were the courageous one,

not me.

so it’s no wonder why i’m that kid at lunch

who sits alone, and wallows in self-pity.

either way, i’m just not the same without you.

- b.v.

[bacardistyles]

I’m that person that can literally talk and talk and talk and no one pays attention. It happened today in one of my classes and you don't understand just how hurtful that is to self-esteem.

[bacardistyles]

Awe but I’m February 29th )))):

Every Single Person That Reblogs This Before February 2016

will get a drawing based on their URL!

[bacardistyles]

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