backonmystarwarsbullshit - Tumblr blog

[backonmystarwarsbullshit]

[backonmystarwarsbullshit]

Will I ever see you again?

STAR WARS: EPISODE I - THE PHANTOM MENACE (1999) STAR WARS: EPISODE II - ATTACK OF THE CLONES (2002)

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it’s stupid how good of a character luke skywalker is

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Ah yes, the "evil" family.

I thought it would be even more funny if it was Luke, of all people, the one who wanted to watch Bloodbath in the Black Moon of the Dragon System.

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If you took a battle droid out of like a chain of command environment and gave it complete freedom it would - without ANY outside input - start working a minimum wage job

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padme body horror is supreme bc when you think about it, her very existence requires constant agony. in real life that red invasion gown took several weeks to build. and the costumes were so uncomfortable that kiera knightly, who was sabe for like 2 seconds, cried every night while filming. the main way natalie portman describes her prequels costumes is “painful” . and sure “beautiful” usually follows but dude. imagine being 14 and in constant pain bc your job requires you be pretty as possible while defending your planet from fucking invasion. i can’t imagine how estranged i’d feel from my own body and sense of self in that moment. you can take that (already extreme) rigor over the body to all kinds of violent ends. possession. some sort of creature. self-mutilation. fic writes itself tbh!

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girlie that's not a random headache u are dehydrated malnourished over caffeinated over stressed and sleep deprived

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Jacen Syndulla redesign, but he is cooler and actually looks like a Twi'lek hybrid... with a single Lek.

✨🌙 ART LOG -> @404ama

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diversity win! horrible fucked up immoral fictional character confirmed lgbt in a vaguely homophobic manner.

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I take your “I don’t remember my mother” and give you “Luke thought Leia and Padmé visions were the same person”

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okay i ruined your life but did you not have fun? exactly relax

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Whilst I adore the idea that in the maybe 24 total hours Anakin was present on the Lars' farm, he fixed literally everything mechanical there because of *angst*, I think an infinitely funnier idea is that Padme did their taxes. She doesn't like sitting around doing nothing any more than Anakin, and she was there for several extra hours, there's no way she didn't ask for something to do, and I think that thing should be their taxes.

Cliegg and Owen weren't actually expecting to actually be able to use a coreworlder's work, but as it turns out, Padme totally helped them commit tax fraud even better than they already were without even being asked.

Bonus points if she was doing it at the same time Anakin was out committing bloody murder.

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Everything is the same except Ahsoka wears a cool robe

✨🌙  ART LOG ->  @404ama

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i know people have brought up the idea of Stormtroopers Under Vader’s Command Have A Vader Cult before, and i know a lot of people think it’s a little gratuitous, but i have some thoughts:

these are enlisted people tossed into the meat grinder of war under a commander who is like sauron fucked the terminator and a baby manifested from that union, you’re essentially in a terrifying, hostile environment stalked by terrifying, hostile people the entire time, and there’s a solid chance you’re about to get shot and die. vader being on a battlefield is a major tactical bonus in that he’s a one-man tide-turner, and listen, when you really think you’re about to die, you would be grateful for anything that bumped your survival chances up from 35% to 65%, even if that thing was your commander wantonly slaughtering the enemy right in front of you. there’s blood and guts everywhere but at least you’re alive to see them, you know?

if your superior was a mystic who bought into a strange religion of arcane power, not tangible to you at all but you have definitely seen your commander flip tanks with it, you might think things like blood sacrifice could materially improve his power, and therefore materially improve the chances of you and all of your friends not dying horrible bloody deaths in the maw of war. (considering vader’s psychic powers feed on fear, agony, hatred and rage, a blood sacrifice in his name might actually literally work, which is overwhelmingly funny.)

tall of the empire’s other military officers are people who graduated space west point, either having wealthy families with connections or just connections, who are guaranteed to not give a singular shit about things like “feeding your soldiers” or “do your soldiers have shoes” as is the trend for dudes who never had to worry about those things before. and, granted, vader probably doesn’t give a singular fuck if any of his soldiers are having a particularly good day, but he did spend a chunk of his childhood being exploited for labor and starving at the whims of the guy who owned him, so he is at least more capable of making the logistical jump of “soldiers need food in order to kill the people i want them to kill” than dudes who never thought about that. and if you were starving as fuck, and the only guy who cared overly much about feeding you was a literal wizard, “a cult” might seem like a rational way to thank him. (considering vader’s psychic powers literally feed on vibes, this might actually literally be a rational way to thank him, which is overwhelmingly funny.)

in conclusion, Stormtroopers Start A Vader Cult isn’t actually the most out there take in the world.

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Star Wars: Republic #59 || Darth Vader (2017) #01

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there is something inherently comic about anakin's dramatic ass refusing to just sit down in his taxi