bait-n-switchblade

[bait-n-switchblade]

Kind of a Reddit AITA post but sometimes it is a little funny to fuck with people in ways that deliberately conform to a stereotype of what they must think of you. the other day I was talking to my friend and I randomly said that I wanted a pet chimpanzee. I'd dress it in person clothes (dungarees and hats) and I'd teach it to love science fiction. And this girl nearby was like "you know how dangerous those things are, right? Also how unethical it is to keep an ape as your pet for your own amusement" and I was already seeing where the conversation was going so I was pretending ignorance like "yea but it wouldn't just be for my amusement. It would have practical points too." And she ignored that statement entirely to say "Well chimpanzees can rip faces off" and I was like. What's the most frustrating thing I can say now. Finally settled on "Mine wouldn't do that though." and you could tell she wanted to hurt me very very badly. Like a chimpanzee would if I had one as a pet

[bait-n-switchblade]

My Pokemon head canon is that if you were holding an Aron and she wanted to go down she would do the little cat thing where they wiggle until they leap out of your arms gracefully except Aron is made mostly out of solid steel and would land with the impact tungsten cube, dent the floor, cause permanent structural damage to the foundation, and then stand up and happily trot along like she didn't do anything

[bait-n-switchblade]

Tenna Deltarune vs. Tenna Deltarune with CRT lines

[bait-n-switchblade]

prequel to this one. in a better world they have an insane dnd campaign together

[bait-n-switchblade]

Spent tonight at a local short film festival. One of the shorts was made by two 12 year olds in their backyard and it was the best short of the entire night

[bait-n-switchblade]

runescape is the funniest game imaginable

[bait-n-switchblade]

I'm kind of obsessed with the way sheep are handled. So efficiently. It always looks kind of unpleasant at first and then you notice the sheep are fine with it. They're always being flipped upside down and rolled down a chute or some shit. A shepherd will be tossing that thang in the air and spinning it like pizza dough & the sheep just lets it happen

[bait-n-switchblade]

I have a bisexual guppy and its funny as hell to watch because it seems like he’s only bi out of desperation. Like all of the female guppies are unimpressed by him, and dont accept his mating displays, and every time he fails, he goes over to a SPECIFIC male guppy (the prettiest male guppy in the tank) like PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE and that male guppy always lets him????

[bait-n-switchblade]

Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

[bait-n-switchblade]

[bait-n-switchblade]

[bait-n-switchblade]

goblins in world of warcraft have an appeal of urban fantasy to them in a way that i haven't seen other mmos replicate. to a reverse of magical realism almost. in a land of invading alien demons and squid monsters who want to consume the universe, there's this group of people who know what a 'privacy policy' is and it blends together without further questions. you know they were discussing the legion invasion at the diner.

[bait-n-switchblade]

“Babel” by Cildo Meireles (2001)

[bait-n-switchblade]

playing dnd with my dads cishet friends blows because theyre way too into combat mechanics and dont understand that youre supposed to be having fun but on the other hand i play giant nonbinary firbolg necromancer named pickles mcburgersson who has orange hair and keeps resurrecting the enemies we kill and then gives them therapy and its baffling to all of these forty something men who have never actually had fun playing dnd

[bait-n-switchblade]

[bait-n-switchblade]

my favorite thing about navigating fanfiction is finding a really good one and being all “oh boy this was good, I hope they have more!” and literally every other story they’ve ever written was for like Miami Vice