bakerysnake

[bakerysnake]

I love terrible comic day can we make this an international holiday

[bakerysnake]

They don’t actually give you an encyclopedic knowledge of something when you get in a degree in it. They give you the skill to learn more about it on your own.

[bakerysnake]

How are my sweetie pees

[bakerysnake]

Me trying to pick all the options that I think Kris would want to do and say so they don't hate me as much for controlling them

[bakerysnake]

very much a fan of this post so i felt compelled to make my own. print it out and give it to your coworkers or hang it in your cubicle and go "don't make me tap the sign"

[bakerysnake]

a funny thing about having a Problematic Blorbo is that you'll periodically come across a post along the lines of "um let's not forget that [Blorbo] is a bad person..." listing their various crimes, and if you have a modicum of intellectual honesty you find yourself nodding along and saying yeah it's true... but it's the greyness of their character that makes them so compelling... At the same time though you have a little Saul Goodman in your ear going "your honor in their defense: who cares like omfgggg who caresssssss like come onnnnnn"

[bakerysnake]

honey? i looked in the files and i noticed something strange. your theme is called "the woman who must kill him" and mine is "he who must die in his lover's arms". weird right? like first of all, my pronouns are they/them.

[bakerysnake]

a weighed blanket is not enough i need to turn into a troglodyte fossil

[bakerysnake]

tea isn’t just a drink it’s a handwarmer it’s an experience it’s a love language it’s a friend it’s

[bakerysnake]

Unfortunately you will talk like a tumblr user for your entire life. Sorry.

[bakerysnake]

so i wore a pride flag pin to work the other day and the kids were all interested (obviously) (find me a classroom of preschoolers who are not obsessed with rainbows) (i'll wait) so they crowded around to see.

"aww!" they said, "it's a flag!!"

but the thing is: they're little. a lot of them don't really have a handle on all their mouth sounds yet.

such as, notably, that tricky tricky "L" sound.

[bakerysnake]

The problem with playing smash or pass is that there's a lot of characters which I'm not sexually attracted to but I would fuck in a heartbeat out of sheer curiosity and ego, like I don't find Mickey Mouse attractive at all but if he approached me at a bar and went "Hey sexy, want me to show you my mouseketool?" I would say yes because then I get to tell my friends I fucked Mickey Mouse

[bakerysnake]

[bakerysnake]

its extremely important to read widely and deeply in a variety of genres. read obscure self published shit that only 4 people have read. read culturally relevant works of literature that have helped shape the canon. read horror. read women's lit. read historical fiction and comedies and nonfiction and hentai and poetry and science fiction and fantasy and mysteries and romance and good things and bad things and things u hate and things you love and things you COULD like if only the author changed x y and z and things which are beautiful but not meant for you.

doing all of this reading will lay a groundwork of rich complexity in your heart. so that you can write really good porn

[bakerysnake]

once again i am putting too much effort into making sure the colours in my theme match

[bakerysnake]

don't tell me i have to open zenless just to hear masa's menu lines...

[bakerysnake]

snake/aryan . 18 . they/them (mutuals use wtv)

main/rbs . you're here writing . @snake-of-the-hollows